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says Will,' they are not those of the


mention fox-hunters with so litmost wit,') that were offended at the

• tle respect.' liberties I had taken with the opera and Captain Sentry spoke very sparingly the puppet-show; that some of them on this occasion. What he laid was were likewise very much surprized, that only to commend my prudence in not I should think such serious points as the touching upon the army, and advised dress and equipage of persons of qua me to continue to act discreetly in that lity, proper subjects for raillery. point.

He was going on, when Sir Andrew By this time I found every subject of Freeport took him up short, and told my ipeculations was taken away from him, that the papers he hinted at had me, by one or other of the club; and done great good in the city, and that began to think myself in the condition all their wives and daughters were the of the good man that had one wife who better for them; and farther added, that took dillike to his grey hairs, and ano. the whole city thought themselves veryther to his black, till by their picking much obliged to me for declaring my out what each of them had an aversion generous intentions to Scourge vice and to, they left his head altogether bald and folly as they appear in a multitude, naked. without condescending to be a publisher While I was thus musing with myof particular intrigues and cuckoldoms. self, my worthy friend the clergyman, • In short,' says Sir Andrew, • if you who very luckily for me was at the club • avoid that foolish beaten road of fall that night, undertook my cause. He • ing upon aldermen and citizens, and told us, that he wondered any order of • employ your pen upon the vanity and persons should think themselves too con• luxury of courts, your paper muit fiderable to be advised; that it was not “ needs be of general use.'

quality, but innocence, which exempted Upon this my friend the Templar men from reproof; that vice and folly told Sir Andrew, that he wondered to ought to be attacked wherever they hear a man of his fenfe talk after that could be met with, and especially when manner; that the city had always been they were placed in high and confpithe province for satire; and that the, wits cuous stations of life, He further addof King Charles's time jefted upon no ell, that my paper would only serve to thing else during his whole reign. He agziavate the pains of poverty, if it then Thewed, by the examples of Ho chietly exposed those who are already race, Juvenal, Boileau, and the best depresed, and in some measure turned writers of every age, that the follies of into ridicule by the meanness of their the state and court had never been ac conditions and circumilances. He af. counted too facred for ridicule, how terwards proceeded to take notice of the great foever the persons might be that great use this paper might be of to the patronized them.' • But after all," says public, by reprehending those vices þe, • I think your raillery has made too which are too trivial for the chastite.

great an excursion, in attacking leve ment of the law, and too fantastical for • ral persons of the inns of court; and I the cognizance of the pulpit. l!e then • do not believe you can Mew me any advised me to prosecute my undertaking

precedent for your behaviour in that ' with chearfulness, and assured me, that • particular.'

whoever might be displeased with me, I My good friend Sir Roger de Co. Should be approved by all those whole verley, who had said nothing all this praises do honour to the perions on while, began his speech with a Pin! whom they are bestowed." and told us, that he wondered to see so The whole club pays a particular demany men of sense so very serious nponference to the discourse of this gentlea fooleries. Let our good friend,' says man, and are drawn into what he says, he,' attack every one that deserves it; as much by the candid ingenuous man• I would only advise vou, Mr. Specta ner with which he delivers himself, as

tor,' applying himself to me, ' to take by the strength of argument and force

care how you meddle with country of reason which he makes ufe of. Will • squires; they are the ornaments of the Honeycomb immediately agreed, that • English nation; men of good heads what he had said was right; and that • and found bodies! and let me tell you, for his patt, he would not infiit upon ! some of them take it ill of you, that the quarter which he had demanded for




the ladies. Sir Andrew gave up the versaries in whatever degree or rank of city with the same frankness. * The men they may be found; I shall be deaf Templar would not stand out; and was for the future to all the remonftrances followed by Sir Roger and the Captain; that fhall be made to me on this acwho all agreed that I should be at li

If Punch grows extravagant, berty to carry the war into what quarter I shall reprimand him very feeely: if the I pleated; provided I continued to com stage becomes a nursery of folly and bat with criminals in a body, and to impertinence, I fhall not be afraid to assault the vice without hurting the animadvert upon it. In short, if I meet person.

with any thing in city, court, or counThis debate, which was held for the try, that shocks modelty or good-mangood of inankind, put me in mind of ners, I fall use my utmost endeavours that which the Roman triumvirate were to make an example of it. I muft formerly engaged in, for their deitruc- however intreat every particular person, tion. Every man at first stood hard who does me the honour to be a reader for his friend, till they found that hy of this paper, never to think himself,' this means they should spoil their pro- or any one of his friends or enemies, fcription; and at length, making a la- aimed at in what is said: for I promise crifice of all their acquaintance and re him never to draw a faulty character lations, furnished out a very decent which does not fit at least a thousand execution.

people; or to publish a single paper, that Having thus taken


resolutions to is not written in the spirit of benevomarch on boldly in the cause of virtue lence, and with a love to mankind. and good sen fe, and to annoy their ad






MONG all kinds of writing, there freedoms. There is a kind of nature

is none in which authors are more that is to be observed in this sort of apt to miscarry than in works of hu- compofitions, as well as in all other; mour, as there is none in which they and a certain regularity of thought are more ambitious to excel. It is not which must discover the writer to be a an imagination that teems with mon man of sense, at the same time that he fers, an head that is filled with extra appears altogether given up to caprice. Fagant conceptions, which is capable of For my part, when I read the delirious furnishing the world with diversions of mirth of an unskilful author, I cannot this nature; and yet if we look into the be so barbarous as to divert myself productions of several writers, who set with it, but am rather apt to pity the up for men of humour, what wild irre- man, than to laugh at any thing he gular fancies, what natural distortions writes. of thought, do we meet with? If they The deceased Mr. Shadwell, who had fpak nonsense, they believe they are himself a great deal of the talent which talking humour; and when they have I am treating of, represents an empty drawn together a scheme of absurd in- rake, in one of his plays, as very much confitent ideas, they are not able to furprised to hear one fay that breaking read it over to themselves without laugh- of windows was not humour; and I ing. These poor gentlemen endeavour question not but several English readers to gain themselves the reputation of wits will be as much startled to hear me af.' and bumourists, by such monstrous firm, that many of those raving inco. Conceits as almoft qualify them for Bed. herent pieces, which are often spread lam; pot considering that humour should among us, under odd chimerical titles, always lie under the check of reason, are rather the offsprings of a diftem : and that it requires the direction of the pered brain, than works of humour. ricett judgment, by so much more as it It is indeed much easier to describe indulges itself in the mort boundless what is not humour, than what is



and very difficult to define it otherwise monstrous infant of which I have beer. ehian, as Cowley has done wit, by ne here speaking. I mall set down at length gatives. Were I to give my own no the genealogical table of Falle Humour, tions of it, I would deliver them after and, at the same time, place under it Plato's manner, in a kind of allegory, the genealogy of True Homour, that and by supposing humour to be a per- the reader may at one view behold their son, deduce to him all his qualifica different pedigrees and relations. tjons, according to the following genealogy. Truth was the founder of

FALSHOOD, the family, and the father of Good

Senle. Good Sense was the father of FRENZY.LAUGHTER,
Wit, married a lady of a collateral line

called Mirth, by whom he had issue Hu-
mour. Humour therefore being the

TRUTH. youngest of this illustrious family, and

GOOD SENSE. descended from parents of such different

Wit_MIRTY. dispositions, is very various and unequal

HUMOUR. in his temper; sometimes you see him putting on grave looks and a solemn I might extend the allegory, by menhabit, Tometimes airy in his behaviour tioning leveral of the children of False and fantastic in his dress; infomuch that Humour, who are more in number than at different times he appears as serious the fands of the sea, and might in paras a judge, and as jocular as a Merry- ticular enumerate the many sons and Andrew. But as he has a great deal daughters which he has begot in this of the mother in his constitution, what- illand. But as this would be a very ever mood he is in, he never fails to invidious task, I shall only observe in make his company laugh.

general, that False Humour differs from But since there is an impostor abroad, the True, as a monkey does from a who takes upon hin the name of this young gentleman, and would willingly

First of all, He is exceedingly given pals for him in the world ; to the end to little apith tricks and buffooneries. that well-meaning persons may not be Secondly, He so much delights in impoted upon by cheats, I would desire mimickry, that it is all one to him whemy readers, when they meet with this ther he exposes by it vice and folly, lux. pretender, to look into his parentage, ury and avarice; or, on the contrary, and to examine him strictly, whether or

virtue and wisdom, pain and poverty. no he be remotely allied to Truth, and Thirdly, He is wonderfully unlucky, : lineally defcended from Good Sense; if insomuch that he will bite the hand that

not, they may conclude him a counter feeds him, and endeavour to ridicule feit. They may likewile distinguila him both friends and foes indifferently. For by a loud and excellive laughter, in having but small talents, he must be which he seldom gets his company to merry where he can, not where he join with him. For as True Humour should, generally looks serious, while every

bo Fourthly, Being intirely void of ready laughs about him; False Humour is son, he pursues no point either of moalways laughing, whilst every body rality or instruction, but is ludicrous about hint looks serious. I shall only only for the sake of being so. adu, if he has not in him a mixture of Fifthly, Being incapable of any thing both pasențs, that is, if he would pals but mock-reprelentations, his ridicule for the offspring of Wit without Mirth, is always personal, and aimed at the or Mirth without Wit, you may con vicious man, or the writer; not at the clude him to be altogether spurious, vice, or at the writing. and a cheat,

I have here only pointed at the whole The impostor of whom I am speaking, species of false humourists; but as one descends originally froin Fallhood, who of my principal designs in this paper is was the mother of Nonsense, who was to beat down that malignant spirit, brought to bed of a ton called Frenzy, which discovers itself in the writings of who married one of the daughters of the present age, I thall not scruple, for the Folly, commonly known by the name future, to single out any of the small of Laughick, on whom he begot that wits, that intelt the world with such


compositions as are ill-natured, im- in a natural state of war with the libel. inoral, and absurd. This is the only ler and lanipooner, and to annoy them exception which I shall make to the ge- wherever they fall in his way. This is neral rule I have prefcribed mytelf of blue retaliating upon them, and treating

every hothem as they . neft man ought to look upon himself as



VIRG. Æn. 11. 583.


I ,


Shall not put myself to any farther natural appearances which are in vogue than barely to publish the letters and ti to represent, in the character of a fine tles of peritions from the play.hcule, lady dancing, all the distortions which with the minutes I have made upon the are frequently taken for graces in mien latter for my conduct in relation to and gelture. This, Sir," is a specimen miem.

of the method we shall take to expose

the monsters which come within the 19DRURY-LASE, APRIL 9. tice of a regular theatre; and we desire UPON reading the project whichis set nothing more grofs may be admitted by

forth in one of your late papers, of you spectators for the future. We have making an alliance between all the bulls, cashiered three companies of theatrical bears, eie; hants, and lions, which are guards, and delign our kings thall for Aparately expoled to public view in the the future make love, and fit in council, cities of Lordon and Westminster; to without an army; and wait only your gether with the other wonders, how, directions whether you will have them arid monters, whereof you made re reinforce King Porus, or join the troops spective mention in the said speculation; of Macedon. Mr. Penkethin?n reWe, the chief actors of this play-houte, folves to contult hvis Pantheon of he:1met and la: upon the said design. It is then gods in opposition to the oracle of with great delight, that we expe&t the Delphos, and doubts not but he fail execution of this work; and in order to turn the fortunes of Porus, when he contribute to it, we have given warning perforites him. I am de red by the to all our ghoits to get their livelihoods company to inforın you, they they subwhere they can, and not

to appear

mit it to your centures, and thali hale among us after day-break of the 16:h you in greater veneration than Hercules infant. We are resolved to take this wits in of old, if you can drive mon. opportunity to part with everything sters from the theatre ; and think your which does not coniribute to the repre

merit will be as much greater than his lenta:ion of human life; and shall niake as to convince is more than to conquis a free gift of all animated utensils to I am, Sir, your molt obedient fervant, your projector. The hangings you

T. D. tu mesly mentioned are run away; as are likewise a set of chairs, eacli of which was once upon two legs bixing WHEN I acquaint you with the through the Rose Tavern at two this great and unexpugel vicikliudes

We hape, Sir, you will of my fortuge, Loubt n t but I shall Bive proper notice to the town that we obtain your pity and faveur.

I hire Sie eindeavouring at thele regulations; to many years latt pått been Thunder and that we intend for the future to to the play-koute; and hare not only thea na monilers, but inen who are made as m:chile out of the clouds Corverted into tuch by their own indula as any predeceffor of mine in the theiure try and attentation. If you will please to tha. er r bore that chunćter, but al!o. be at the baule to-night, you will lee haave defcender and spoke on the Itige inc do my endeavour to Mew some un. as the Boll Thunder in the Rehari.



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When they got me down thus low, they the loquacious kinds, as parrots, ftarthought fit to degrade me further, and lings, magpies, and others, to imitate make me a gholt. I was contented human voices in greater perfection than with this for these two last winters; but ever yet was practised. They are they carry their tyranny ftill further, only instructed to pronounce words disand not satisfied that I am banished tinctly, and in a proper tone and accent, from above ground, they have given but to speak the language with great me to understand that I am wholly to purity and volubility of tongue, togedepart their dominions, and taken from ther with all the fashionable phrases and me even my fubterraneous employment. compliments now in use either at teaNow, Sir, what I desire of you is, that tables or visiting-days. Those that if your undertaker thinks fit to use fire have good voices may be taught to fing arms, as other authors have done in the newest opera-airs, and, if required, the time of Alexander, I may be a can to speak either Italian or French, paynon against Porus, or else provide for ing something extraordinary above the me in the burning of Persepolis, or what common rates. They whose friends other method you shall think fit. are not able to pay the full prices may SALMONEUS OF COVENT GARDEN. be taken as half-boarders. She teaches

such as are designed for the diversion of The petition of all the devils of the the public, and to act in inchanted play-house in behalf of themselves and woods on the theatres, by the great. As families, setting forth their expullion the has often observed with much concern from thence, with certificates of their how indecent an education is usually good life and conversation, and praying given these innocent creatures, which in relief.

some measure is owing to their being The merit of this petition referred to placed in rooms next the street, where, Mr. Chr. Rich, who made them devils. to the great offence of chaste and tender The petition of the Grave.digger in

ears, they learn ribaldry, obscene fongs,

and immodeft expressions from passenHamlet, to command the pioneers in

gers, and idle people, as also to cry the expedition of Alexander. Granted.

fith, and card-matches, with other use

less parts of learning to birds who have The petition of William Bullock, to sich friends; Me has fitted up proper and be Hepheltion to Penkethman the Great,

neat apartments for them in the back Granted.

part of her fait house; where she suffers :

none to approach them but herself, and ADVERTISEMENT,

a servant- maid who is deaf and dumb,

and whom nie provided on purpose to A WIDOW gentlewoman, well born prepare their food and cleanse their both by father and mother's side, being cages; having found by long experience the daughter of Thomas Prater, once how hard a thing it is for those to keep an eininent practitioner in the law, and filence who have the use of speech, and of Letitia Tattle, a family well known the dangers her scholars are exposed to in all parts of this kingdom, having by the strong impressions that are made been reduced by misfortunes to wait on by harth sounds and vulgar dialects. In several great persons, and for some time short, if they are birds of any parts or to be teacher at a boarding school of capacity, she will undertake to render young ladies, giveth notice to the pub- them so accomplished in the compass of lic, that the hath lately taken a house a twelvemonth, that they shall be fit near Bloomsbury Square, commodioully conversation for euch ladies as love to situated next the fields, in a good air; chuse theiy friends and companions out where the teaches all forts of birds of of this species.



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