RIDE, SI SAPIS.

MART.

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According to this author therefore, when we hear a man laugh exceffively, inftead of faying he is very merry, we ought to tell him he is very proud. And indeed, if we look into the bottom of this matter, we fhall meet with many obfervations to confirm us in his opinion. Every one laughs at fomebody that is in an inferior ftate of folly to himself. It was formerly the custom for every great houfe in England to keep a tame fool dreffed in petticoats, that the heir of the family might have an opportunity of joking upon him and diverting himself with his abfurdities. For the fame reafon idiots are ftill in request in most of the courts of Germany, where there is not a prince of any great magnificence, who has not two or three dreffed, diftinguifhed, undifputed fools in his retinue, whom the reft of the courtiers are always breaking their jefts upon.

The Dutch, who are more famous for their industry and application, than for wit and humour, hang up in feveral of their streets what they call the fign of the Gaper, that is, the head of an idiot dreffed in a cap and bells, and gaping in a moft immoderate manner: this is a standing jeft at Amsterdam.

Thus every one diverts himself with fome perfon or other that is below him in point of understanding, and triumphs in the fuperiority of his genius, whilst he bas such objects of derifion before his eyes. Mr. Dennis has very well

a fatire in Monfieur Boileau.

Thus one fool lolls his tongue out at another, And shakes his empty noddle at his brother.

Mr. Hobbes's reflection gives us the reafon why the infignificant people abovementioned are ftirrers-up of laughter among men of a grofs tafte; but as the more understanding part of mankind do not find their rifibility affected by fuch ordinary objects, it may be worth the while to examine into the several provocatives of laughter in men of fuperior fenfe and knowledge.

In the first place I muft obferve, that there is a fet of merry drolls, whom the common people of all countries admire, and feem to love fo well, that they 'could eat them,' according to the old proverb; I mean thofe circumforaneous wits whom every nation calls by the name of that dish of meat which it loves beft. In Holland they are termed Pickled Herrings; in France, Jean Pottages; in Italy, Maccaronies; and in Great Bri tain, Jack-Puddings. Thefe merry wags, from whatsoever food they receive their titles, that they may make their audiences laugh, always appear in a fool's coat, and commit fuch blunders and mistakes in every step they take, and every word they utter, as those who listen to them would be ashamed of.

But this little triumph of the understanding, under the difguife of laughter, is no where more vifible than in that custom which prevails every where among us on the first day of the present month, when every body takes it in his head to make as many fools as he can. In proportion as there are more follies difcovered, fo there is more laughter raised on this day than on any other in the whole year. A neighbour of mine, who is a haberdasher by trade, and a very fhallow conceited fellow, makes his boafts that for thefe ten years fucceffively he has not made less than a hundred April fools. My landlady had a falling out with him about a fort

night ago, for fending every one of her children upon fome fleeveless errand, as the terms it. Her eldeft fon went to buy an halfpenny worth of incle at a fhoemaker's; the eldest daughter was difpatched half a mile to fee a monster; and in fhort, the whole family of innocent children made April fools. Nay, my landlady herself did not escape him. This empty fellow has laughed upon thefe conceits ever fince.

This art of wit is well enough, when confined to one day in a twelvemonth; but there is an ingenious tribe of men fprung up of late years, who are for making April fools every day in the year. Thefe gentlemen are commonly diftinguished by the name of Biters; a race of men that are perpetually employed in laughing at thofe mistakes which are of their own production.

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Thus we fee, in proportion as one man is more refined than another, he chufes his fool out of a lower or higher clafs of mankind; or, to fpeak in a more philofophical language, that fecret elation and pride of heart, which is nerally called laughter, arifes in him, from his comparing himfelf with an object below him, whether it fo happens that it be a natural or an artificial fool. It is indeed very poffible, that the perfons we laugh at may in the main of their characters be much wifer men than ourfelves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall fhort of us in thofe refpects which stir up this passion.

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I am afraid I shall appear too abftra&ted in my fpeculations, if I fhew that when a man of wit makes us laugh, it is by betraying fome oddnefs or infirmity in his own character, or in the reprefentation which he makes of others; and that when we laugh at a brute, or even at an inanimate thing, it is at fome ac

M

tion or incident that bears a remote analogy to any blunder or abfurdity in reafonable creatures.

But to come into common life; I fhall pafs by the confideration of those stage coxcombs that are able to shake a whole audience, and fake notice of a particular fort of men who are fuch provokers of mirth in conversation, that it is impoffible for a club or merry meeting to fubfift without them; I mean thofe honeft gentlemen that are always expofed to the wit and raillery of their wellwifhers and companions; that are pelted by men, women, and children, friends and foes, and, in a word, stand as Butts in conversation, for every one to shoot at that pleafes. I know feveral of these Butts who are men of wit and fenfe, though by fome odd turn of humour, fome unlucky caft in their perfon or behaviour, they have always the misfortune to make the company merry. The truth of it is, a man is not qualified for a Butt, who has not a good deal of wit and vivacity, even on the ridiculous fide of his character. A ftupid Butt is only fit for the converfation of ordinary people; men of wit require one that will give them play, and beftir himself in the abfurd part of his behaviour. A Butt with thefe accomplishments frequently gets the laugh of his fide, and turns the ridicule upon him that attacks him. Sir John Falstaff was an hero of this fpecies, and gives a good description of himself in his capacity of a Butt, after the following manner: 'Men of all

OVID. MET. XIV.

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tant fubjects; which I fhall introduce with a letter of my own that I writ a fortnight ago to a fraternity who thought fit to make me an honorary member.

TO

charity received, I return my thanks this way.

SIR,

Your most humble fervant.

EPPING,, APRIL 18. W E have your papers here the morning they come out, and we have been very well entertained with your lalt, upon the falfe ornaments of perfons who reprefent heroes in a tragedy. What made your fpeculation come very feasonably among us is, that we have now at this place a company of strollers, who are very far from offending in the impertinent fplendor of the drama. They are fo far from falling into thefe falfe gallantries, that the stage is here in it's original fituation of a cart. Alexander the Great was acted by a fellow in a paper cravat. The next day, the Earl of Effex feemed to have no diftrefs but his poverty: and my Lord Foppington the fame morning wanted any better means to fhew himself a fop, than by wearing stockings of different colours. In a word, though they have had a full barn for many days together, our itine

IT

rants are ftill fo wretchedly poor, that, without you can prevail to fend us the furniture you forbid at the play-houfe, the heroes appear only like fturdy beggars, and the heroines gipfies. We have had but one part which was performed and dressed with propriety, and that was Juftice Clodpate. This was fo well done, that it offended Mr. Juftice Overdo, who, in the midst of our whole audience, was, like Quixote in the puppet-fhow, fo highly provoked, that he told them, if they would move compaffion, it fhould be in their own perfons, and not in the characters of diftreffed princes and potentates: he told them, if they were fo good at finding the way to people's hearts, they fhould do it at the end of bridges or churchporches, in their proper vocation of beggars. This, the Juftice fays, they must expect, fince they could not be contented to act heathen warriors, and fuch fellows as Alexander, but must presume to make a mockery of one of the quorum. Your fervant.

T is very natural for a man, who is not turned for mirthful meetings of men, or affemblies of the fair-fex, to delight in that fort of converfation which we find in coffee-houses. Here a man of my temper is in his element; for if he cannot talk, he can still be inore agreeable to his company, as well as pleased in himself, in being only an hearer. It is a fecret known but to few, yet of no fmall ufe in the conduct of life, that when you fall into a man's converfation, the first thing you should confider is, whether he has a greater inclination to hear you, or that you Thould hear him. The latter is the moft general defire, and I know very able flatterers that never fpeak a word in praife of the perfons from whom they obtain daily favours, but ftill practife a kilful attention to whatever is uttered by thofe with whom they converfe. We are very curious to oblerve the behaviour of great men and their clients; but the

MART.

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fame paffions and interests move men in lower fpheres; and I, that have nothing elfe to do but make obfervations, fee in every parish, street, lane, and alley, of this populous city, a little potentate that has his court and his flatterers, who lay fnares for his affection and favour by the fame arts that are practised by mea in higher stations.

In the place I most usually frequent, men differ rather in the time of day in which they make a figure, than in any real greatnefs above one another. I, who am at the coffee-houfe at fix in a morning, know that my friend Beaver the haberdasher has a levee of more undiffembled friends and admirers, than most of the courtiers or generals of Great Britain. Every man about him has, perhaps, a newspaper in his hand; but none can pretend to guess what step will be taken in any one court of Europe, till Mr. Beaver has thrown down his pipe, and declares what measures the

Allies

Allies muft enter into upon this new polture of affairs. Our coffee-houfe is near one of the inns of court, and Beaver has the audience and admiration of his neighbours from fix till within a quarter of eight, at which time he is interrupted by the ftudents of the house; fome of whom are ready-dreffed for Weftminster, at eight in a morning, with faces as bufy as if they were retained in every caufe there; and others come in their night-gowns to faunter away their time, as if they never defigned to go thither. I do not know that I meet, in any of my walks, objects which move both my fpleen and laugh. ter fo effectually, as thofe young fellows at the Grecian, Squire's, Searl's, and all other coffee-houfes adjacent to the law, who rife early for no other purpofe but to publish their laziness. One would think these young virtuofos take a gay cap and flippers, with a scarf and party-coloured gown, to be enfigns of dignity; for the vain things approach each other with an air, which thews they regard one another for their veftments. I have obferved that the fuperiority among these proceeds from an opinion of gallantry and fashion: the gentleman in the ftrawberry fafh, who prefides fo much over the rest, has, it feems, subscribed to every opera this lat winter, and is fuppofed to receive favours from one of the actreffes.

When the day grows too bufy for thefe gentlemen to enjoy any longer the pleasures of their defhabillé, with any manner of confidence, they give place to men who have bufinefs or good fenfe in their faces, and come to the coffeehoufe either to tranfact affairs or enjoy converfation. The perfons to whofe behaviour and difcourfe I have most regard are fuch as are between these two forts of men; fuch as have not fpirits too active to be happy and well pleafed in a private condition, nor complexions too warm to make them neglect the duties and relations of life. Of thefe fort of men confift the worthier part of mankind; of these are all good fathers, generous brothers, fincere friends, and faithful fubjects. Their entertainments are derived rather from reafon than imagination; which is the caufe that there is no impatience or inftability in their fpeech or action. You fee in their countenances they are at home, and in quiet poffeffion of the prefent inftant, as

it paffes, without defiring to quicken it by gratifying any paffion, or profecuting any new defign. Thefe are the men formed for fociety, and thofe little communities which we exprefs by the word Neighbourhoods.

The coffee houfe is the place of rendezvous to all that live near it, who are thus turned to relifh calm and ordinary life. Eubulus prefides over the middle hours of the day, when this affembly of men meet together. He enjoys a great fortune handfomely, without launching into expence; and exerts many noble and useful qualities, without appearing in any public employment. His wif dom and knowledge are ferviceable to all that think fit to make ufe of them; and he does the office of a council, a judge, an executor, and a friend, to all his acquaintance, not only without the profits which attend fuch offices, but alfo without the deference and homage which are ufually paid to them. The giving of thanks is difpleafing to him. The greateft gratitude you can shew him, is to let him fee you are the better man for his fervices; and that you are as ready to oblige others, as he is to oblige you.

In the private exigencies of his friends he lends, at legal value, confiderable fums, which he might highly increase by rolling in the public ftocks. He does not confider in whofe hands his money will improve moft, but where it will do most good.

Eubulus has fo great an authority in his little diurnal audience, that when he fakes his head at any piece of public news, they all of them appear dejected; and, on the contrary, go home to their dinners with a good stomach and chearful aspect, when Eubulus seems to intimate that things go well. Nay, their veneration towards him is so great, that when they are in other company they fpeak and act after him; are wife in his fentences; and are no fooner fat down at their own tables, but they hope or fear, rejoice or defpond, as they faw him do at the coffee-houfe. In a word, every man is Eubulus as foon as his back is turned.

Having here given an account of the feveral reigns that fucceed each other from day-break till dinner-time, I fhall mention the monarchs of the afternoon on another occafion, and fhut up the whole feries of them with the hiftory of N 2