Snarl. To keep it from dying!

Sheep. Of the rot, an' please your sweet worship.-It's a way I learnt of our doctor, in the parish: he cures most of his patients the same way.

Snarl. The doctor, ha! The doctors have a licence to kill from the college; but you have none, I believe. Why, there was not such a breed, in all the kingdom, for Spanish wool!

Sheep. Please your worship, satisfy yourself with the blows you gave me, and make matters up, if it be your worship's good will and pleasure.

Snarl. But 'tis not my good will and pleasure: my good will and pleasure is to see you hanged, you rascal.

Sheep. Oh! no; don't hang me! Consider, that would be the death of me! Besides, your worship, I was only married yesterday :-leave me alone for a week or two, and who knows, but, by that time, I may save your worship the trouble.

Snarl. No, no, the gallows will be the best way, at first, and every bit as sure.

Sheep. Heaven give you the luck of it, good master Snarl. Since it must be so, I must go seek a lawyer, I find, or might will prevail over right. [Exit Sheepface, L. Snarl. Six times twelve is seventy-two that is right: then nine times seven is

Enter SCOUT, L.

Scout. Egad; I have nick'd it nicely!-This was very lucky, to catch him alone. That seems to be a pretty piece of cloth, and will just suit me. Good morning to you Mr. Snarl.

Snarl. O! what! neighbour Gripe! walk in.
Scout. (L.) No, it's I, your neighbour Scout.

Snarl. (R.) I am my neighbour Scout's most obedient ;but I have no business with him at present, that I know of. Scout. [Aside.] I'll make you tell a different story presently, or I am much mistaken.--I called to settle a little

account.

Snarl. I have no account to settle with any body.

Scout. There's a small balance of fifty pounds

Snarl. I know nothing at all about it; I don't owe any man a farthing in the world.

Scout. I wish I could say as much for myself, [aside.] Why, sir, looking over my father's accounts, I see he stands indebted to you fifty pounds; and I, as an honest

man, am come to pay it.

Snarl. [Turning round, rises, and shakes him by the hand.] How do you do, neighbour Scout? How do you do?. I'm glad to see you!

it.

Scout. Very well, I thank you, sir. How do you do?
Snarl. I think you live in our village here.
Scout. Yes, sir, I do.

Snarl. Pray, be seated.

Scout. By no means ;-I fear I disturb you.

Snarl. Oh no, not at all; pray sit down.-I insist upon

Scout. Ah! sir, if every body was of my principle, I should be a deal richer than I am; I cannot bear to be in any body's debt.

Snarl. Why, egad! the generality of people bear it very

well.

Scout. Very true, sir, very true: when would you like to receive this money? for I'm impatient to pay every body. Snarl. Why, when you please.-No time like the time present.

Scout. Very true; I have it told out at home; but as I only hold my father's effects in trust for my daughter Harriet, for form sake, you know it will be proper to have some of the other guardians present at the time of pay

ment.

Snarl. Very true; it is so, indeed !—Well, as soon as you please.

Scout. What do you think of three o'clock this afternoon?

Snarl. A very good time.

Scout. And, egad! it happens very lucky-I've got a very fine goose, sent me by a client from Norfolk, and you shall come and dine with me :-are you fond of goose? Snarl. Very. It's my favourite dish.

Scout. That's very lucky. Don't forget to come. think you do a deal of business here, more than all the rest of the trade around the country.

Snarl. Pretty well; I can't complain.

Scout. And Mrs. Scout will dress the goose by a valuable receipt left her by her great uncle, Alderman Dumpling. Do you like sage and onion?

Snarl. Very much, indeed.

Scout. You shall have it so. Why, you have such an engaging way with you, that people take more pleasure in paying you money, than in receiving it from other people.

C

Snarl. Ah, sir, you flatter me!

Scout. Not at all. Egad! now I recollect, I promised Mrs. Scout you should have my custom, and I don't care if I take a coat, to begin with.

Snarl. Pray, sir, look over my patterns: here's a variety of colours.

Scout. This seems to be a pretty piece of cloth.

[Feeling the cloth that lies on the counter.

Snarl. Very fine, and good! It is iron grey.

Scout. Don't you remember our going to school.
Snarl. What! along with Old Iron Fist.

Scout. The same.-You was reckoned the prettiest boy in the whole school.

Snarl. Yes; my mother said I always was a pretty boy. Scout. This cloth seems very smooth and fine.

Snarl. Right Spanish wool, I assure you! Let me send your quantity to your house.

Scout. Stop! stop! Pay as you go, pay as you go; that is always my maxim.

Snarl. And, egad, a very good maxim 'tis ! I wish all my customers made use of the same.

Scout. Don't you remember the tricks you used to play the curate.

Snarl. Yes, very well.

Scout. Ay, you was always full of mischief.-What is this cloth a yard?

Snarl. Why, to any body else it should be nineteen shillings and sixpence; but

Scout. Now you are going to favour me.

Snarl. No, I am not; only as you are a particular friend, I won't charge you but nineteen: and, luckily, here is just your quantity cut off.

Scout. That is lucky: I'll take it home with me,

Snarl. By no means:-My boy

Scout. Why would you take the poor boy from his work ? I don't mind carrying it myself.

Snarl. But let me measure it; perhaps there may be some mistake.

Scout. No mistake: d'ye think I doubt your word?
Snarl. But the price?

Scout. Never mind that: I leave it entirely to you. Well, good morning: don't forget the goose: you'll be sure to be there time enough to dine, before you receive your money. Good morning--don't forget. [Exit, L. Snarl. Damme, but he has carried off my cloth-but

he'll pay. O yes, he'll pay for he must be a very honest man, or he never would have told me of the fifty pounds, and invite me to dine off the goose into the bargain. I am sorry I cheated him in the cloth. But no matter: it is the way I got all my money. [Exit, R.

SCENE III-A Wood. Cottage on R.

Enter KATE and SHEEPFACE, L.

Kute. If you wants a lawyer to get you fairly out of a scrape, my master's the man for your money, Sheepface. Sheep. (L.) I remember he stood my friend before-from being hang'd at York! And, would you believe it, only for mending the complexion of a bald-fac'd horse; and, I don't know how it was, I have such a treacherous memory; but somehow or other-I forgot to pay him.

Kate. (R.) O, never mind, he won't remember that; but be careful not to tell him your master's name. I know he would not be concerned against Mr. Snarl for the world!

Sheep. (L.) No, no: I'll only tell him 'tis my master, and he'll think I mean the rich farmer I lived with formerly.

Kate. (R.) Well, well, that will do; but here he comes : I'll go in. [Exit R. into Cottage.

Enter SCOUT, L.

Scout. Egad, I think I have made a good morning's work! This cloth will enable me to make a genteel appearance-But who have we got here? sure I should know that face. Hark ye, sir, did'nt I save you and your brother from being hang'd, some time ago, at York?

Sheep. (R.) Yes.

Scout. (L.) And, by the same rule, I think one of you forgot to pay me.

Sheep. That was brother.

Scout. One of you got clear off, and the other died, soon after, in prison.

Sheep. That was not I.

Scout. No, no, I see it was uot.

Sheep. For all that I was sicker than my brother ;-but I am come to ask your worship to stand my friend against a-his worship, my master.

Scout. What! the rich farmer here, that lives in the neighbourhood?

Sheep. Yes, yes-he lives in the neighbourhood, sure enough; and if you will stand my friend, you shall be paid to your heart's content.

Scout. Aye! now you speak to the purpose:-come, you must tell me how it was.

Sheep. Why, you must know, my master gives me but small wages-very small wages indeed! so I thought I might as well do a little business on my own account, and so make myself amends without any damage to him, with an honest neighbour of mine-a little bit of a butcher by trade.

Scout. Well, but what business can you have to do with him?

Sheep. Why, saving your worship's presence,-l hinders the sheep from dying of the rot.

Scout. Ah!-how do you contrive that?

Sheep. I cuts their throats before it comes to them. Scout. What! I suppose, then, your master thinks you kill his sheep for the sake of selling their carcases?

Sheep. Yes; and I cannot beat it out of his head for the soul of me.

Scout. Well, then, you must tell me all the particulars about it. Relate every circumstance, and don't hide a

sin gle item.

Sheep. Why, then sir, you must know, that, last night, as I was going down,-(must I tell the truth?)

Scout. Yes, yes; you must tell the truth here, or we shall not be able to lie to the purpose any where else.

Sheep. Well, then, last night, after I was married, having a little leisure time upon my hands, I goes down to our penn; and, as I was musing on I don't know what, out I takes my knife, and happening by mere accident, saving your worship's presence, to put it under the throat of one of the fattest wethers-I don't know how it came about, but I had not been long there, before the wether died, and all of a sudden, as a body may say.

Scout. What! and somebody was looking on all the while ?

Sheep. Yes, master, from behind the hedge, and would have it, it died all along with me; and so, as you see, he laid such a shower of blows on me, that it kept the bride out of temper all night; but I hope your worship will stand my friend, and not let me lose the fruits of my honest labours-all at once.

Scout. Why, there are two ways of settling this busi