Enter VIZARD with a Letter, a Servant following him. Viz. ANGELICA send it back unopen'd! say you? Serv. As you see, sir,

Vis. The pride of these virtuous women is more insufferable than the immodesty of prostitutes after all my encouragement to slight me thus!

Serv. She said, sir, that imagining your morals sincere, she gave you access to her conversation; but that your late behaviour in her company has convinced her, that your love and religion are both hypocrisy, and that she believes your letter, like yourself, fair on the outside, foul within; so sent it back unopened.

Viz. I'll be revenged the very first opportunitysaw you the old lady Darling, her mother?

Serv. Yes, sir; and she was pleased to say much in your commendation.

Viz. That's my cue; [Aside] Run to the lady Lurewell's, and know of her maid, whether her ladyship will be at home this evening. Her beauty is sufficient cure for Angelica's scorn.

[Exit Servant. Vizard pulls out a Book, reads and walks about.

Enter SMUGGLER.

Smug. Ay, there's a pattern for the young men o'th' times-at his meditation so early; some book of pious ejaculations, I'm sure.

Viz. This Hoyle is an excellent fellow! [Aside] O uncle Smuggler! to find you at this end o'th' town is a miracle.

Smug. I have seen a miracle this morning indeed, cousin Vizard!

Viz. What is it, pray, sir?

Smug. A man at his devotions so near the courtI'm very glad, boy, that you keep your sanctity untainted in this infectious place; the very air of this park is heathenish, and every man's breath I meet scents of atheism.

Viz. Surely, sir, some great concern must bring you to this unsanctified end of the town.

Smug. A very unsanctified concern truly, cousin.
Viz. What is it?

My

Smug. A law-suit, boy-shall I tell you? ship the Swan is newly arrived from St. Sebastian, laden with Portugal wines: now the impudent rogue of a tide-waiter has the face to affirm it is French wines in Spanish casks, and has indicted me upon the statute -O conscience! conscience! these tide-waiters and surveyors plague us more with their French wines, than the war did with French privateers-Ay, there's another plague of the nation

Enter COLONEL STANDARD.

A red coat and cockade.

Viz. Colonel Standard, I'm your humble servant.
Stand. May be not, sir.
Viz. Why so?

Stand. Because I'm disbanded.

Viz. How! broke?

Stand. This very morning, in Hyde-park, my brave regiment, a thousand men that looked like lions yesterday, were scattered, and looked as poor and simple as the herd of deer that grazed beside 'em.

Smug. Tal, al, deral [Singing] I'll have a bonfire this night as high as the monument.

Stand. A bonfire! thou dry, withered, ill-nature; had not those brave fellows' swords defended you, your house had been a bonfire ere this about your earsDid we not venture our lives, sir?

Smug. And did we not pay for your lives, sir?Venture your lives! I'm sure we ventured our money, and that's life and soul to me-Sir, we'll maintain you no longer.

Stand. Then your wives shall, old Actæon. There are five and thirty strapping officers gone this morning to live upon free quarter in the city.

Smug. O Lord! O Lord! I shall have a son within these nine months, born with a half-pike in his hand, -Sir, you are

Stand. What, sir?

Smug. Sir, I say that you are

Stand. What, sir?

Smug. Disbanded, sir, that's all-I see my lawyer

yonder.

[Exit.

Viz. Sir, I am very sorry for your misfortune. Stand. Why so? I don't come to borrow money of you; if you're my friend, meet me this evening at the Shakspeare. I'll drink a health to any king, prosperity to my country, and away for Hungary to-morrow morning.

Viz. What! you won't leave us?

Stand. What! a soldier stay here, to look like an old pair of colours in Westminster-hall, ragged and rusty! no, no-I met yesterday a broken lieutenant, he was ashamed to own that he wanted a dinner, but begged ten shillings of me to buy a new scabbard for his sword.

Viz. Oh, but you have good friends, colonel! Stand. Oh, very good friends! my father's a lord, and my elder brother a beau; mighty good friends indeed!

Viz. But your country may perhaps want your sword again.

Stand. Nay, for that matter, let but a single drum beat up for volunteers between Ludgate and Charingcross, and I shall undoubtedly hear it at the walls of

Buda.

Viz. Come, come, colonel, there are ways of making your fortune at home-make your addresses to the fair; you're a man of honour and courage.

Stand. Ay, my courage is like to do me wondrous service with the fair: this pretty cross cut over my eye will attract a duchess-I warrant 'twill be a mighty grace to my ogling-had I used the stratagem of a certain brother colonel of mine, I might succeed.

Viz. What was it, pray?

Stand. Why, to save his pretty face for the women, he always turned his back upon the enemy - he was a man of honour for the ladies.

Viz. Come, come, the loves of Mars and Venus will never fail: you must get a mistress.

Stand. Pr'ythee, no more on't you have awakened a thought, from which, and the kingdom, I would have stol'n away at once. To be plain, I have a mistress. Viz. And she's crael?

Stand. No.

Viz. Her parents prevent your happiness?
Stand. Nor that.

Viz. Then she has no fortune?

Stand. A large one: beauty to tempt all mankind, and virtue to beat off their assaults. O Vizard! such a creature! [Sir Harry Wildair sings without] Heyday! who the devil have we here?

Vis. The joy of the play-house, and life of the park; sir Harry Wildair! newly come from Paris.

Stand. Sir Harry Wildair! did not he make a campaign in Flanders some three or four years ago?

Viz. The same.

Stand. Why, he behaved himself very bravely. Viz. Why not? Dost think bravery and gaiety are inconsistent? He's a gentleman of most happy circumstances, born to a plentiful estate; has had a genteel and easy education, free from the rigidness of teachers, and pedantry of schools. His florid constitution being never ruffled by misfortune, nor stinted in its pleasures, has rendered him entertaining to others, and easy to himself. Turning all passion into gaiety of humour, by which he chooses rather to rejoice with his friends, than be hated by any; as you shall see.

Enter SIR HARRY WILDAIR.

Sir H. Ha, Vizard!

Viz. Sir Harry!

Sir H. Who thought to find you out of the Rubrick so long? I thought thy hypocrisy had been wedded to a pulpit-cushion long ago. Sir, if I mistake not your face, your name is Standard.

Stand. Sir Harry, I'm your humble servant.

Sir H. Come, gentlemen, the news, the news o'th town, for I'm just arrived.

Viz. Why, in the city end o'th' town we're playing the knave to get estates.

Stand. And in the court-end playing the fool, in spending 'em.

Sir H. Just so in Paris. I'm glad we're grown so modish.

Viz. We are so reformed, that gallantry is taken for vice.

Stand. And hypocrisy for religion.

Sir H. A la mode de Paris again. But this is trifling; tell me news, gentlemen. What lord has lately broke his fortune at Brooks's, or his heart at Newmarket for the loss of a race? What wife has been lately suing in Doctors' Commons for alimony? or, what daughter run away with her father's valet? What beau gave the noblest ball, or had the finest coach on the birth-day? I want news, gentlemen.