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EPIGRAMS BY J. D.*

Which taxeth,* under a particulart name, A general vice which merits public blame.

OF A GULL. II.

AD MUSAM. I. Fly, merry Muse,t unto that merry town, Where thou mayst plays, revels, and triumphs

see; The house of fame, and I theatre of renown, Where all good wits and spirits love & to be. Fall in between their hands that praise and love

thee, And be to them a laughter and a jest: But as for them which | scorning shall reprove

thee, Disdain their wits, and think thinett own the

best. But if thou find any so gross and dull, That thinks II I do to private taxing $$ lean, Bid him go hang, for he is but a gull, And knows not what an epigram doth |||| mean,

Oft in my laughing rhymes I name a gull;
But this new term will I many questions breed;
Therefore at first I will express § at full,
Who is a true and perfect gull indeed.
A gull is he who || fears a velvet gown,
And, when a wench is brave, 1 dares not speak

to her;
A gull is he which ** traverseth the town,
And is for marriage known a common wooer;
A gull is he wbich,tt when I 1 he proudly wears
A silver-hilted rapier by his side,
Endures the lie $$ and knocks about the ears,
Whilst |||| in his sheath his sleeping sword doth

bide; A gull is he which 1 wears good handsome

clothes, And stands in presence stroking up his hair," And fills +++ up his unperfect speech with oaths, But speaks not one wise word throughout the

year :

Epigrams by J. D.) M$. Harleian 1836 contains a col. lection of Epigrams, among which are found all the presont Bpigrams, with the exception of the 8th, 12th, 14th, 20th, 45th, 46th, 47th, and 48th. That MS. has helped me to several important corrections of the text, and in the 40th Bpigram has supplied two lines which were necessary to complete a stanza. Though it is of a date considerably posterior to the first appearance in print of Epigrams by J. D., perhaps all the pieces which it exhibits are from the pen of Davies.

Some of these Epigrams are to be found among the Epigrams in Wit's Recreations : see the reprint of that work (1817) from a collation of eds. 1640-41-54-63.

Muse) So edg.-M$. "newes." I and) So eds.-MS. “the." § love) So eds.-MS. “loues."

ll praise and love thee) Eds. (against the rhyme) " loue aud praise thee."--MS. “seeme to loue thee."

them which) So eds.-MS. “those that " ** reprove) So eds. B, C; and M8.-Ed. A “approue." # thine] So eds. -MS. “thy." 11 thinks) So MS.-Eds. "thinke."

$$ private taxing) i. e. censuring of individuals. So eds. -MS. "priuate talkinge."-Compare the Induction to The Knigll of the Burning Pestle :

“Fly far from hence

All private taxes !", &c. Beaumont and Fletcher's Works, ii, 136, ed. Dyce. Ill doch) So MS.-Eds. “ does."

* taxeth) So eds.-MS. “carrieth."

+ particular) So eds. A, B; and MS.-Ed. C“ peculiar,"

I will) So eds.-M8. “may."
$ Therefore . : express) So eds.-MS.

" Wherefore disclose." || who] So eds.—MS. "that."

brave) i. e. fine, richly dressed. ** which] So eds.-MS. “that." It which] So eds.-MS. “that.”

11 when) So M8.-Eds. "while" (but we have "Whilst" in the closing line of this stanza).

88 lie] So M8.-Eds. “lies."
AU Whilst) So eds.-MS. “While."
11 which] So eds.-M8. " that."
*** hair] So eds. --MS. "heade."
Att fulls) So eds.-MS. "filleth."

AA

But, to define a gull in terms * precise -
A gull is he which t seems and is not wise. I

IN QUINTUM. IV.
Quintus the dancer useth evermore
His feet in measure and in rule to move :

Yet on a time he call'd his mistress whore,
IN RUFUM. III.

And thought* with that sweet word to win her

love. Rufus the courtier, at the theatre, Leaving the best and most conspicuous place,

O, had his tongue like to his feet been Doth either to the stage s himself transfer,

taught, Or through a grate || doth show his double

Itt never would have utter'd such a thought!
face,
For that the clamorous fry of** Inns of Court
Fills

up the private rooms of greater tt price,
And such a place where all may have If resort
He in his singularity doth despise.
Yet doth not his particular humour shun

IN PLURIMOS. I V.
The common stews and brothels of the town,
Though all the world in troops dogs thither Faustinus, Sextus, Cinna, Ponticus,
run,

With Gella, Lesbia, || Thais, Rhodope, 1
Clean and unclean, the gentle and the clown : Rode all to Staines,** for no cause serious,

Then why should Rufus in his pride abhur But for their mirth and for their lechery.
A common seat, that loves a common whore ? Scarce were they settled in their lodging, tt

when * terms] So eds.-MS.“words.'

Wenches with wenches, men with men fell ** + which) So eds.--MS. “that." t is not wise) To this epigram there is an evident allu

out, sion in the following one;

Men with their wenches, wenches with their $5 To CANDIDUS.

men ; “ Friend Candidus, thou often doost demaund

Which straight dissolv'd ||| this ill-assembled What humours men by gulling understand.

rout.IT Our English Martiall hath full pleasantly In his close nips describde a gull to thee :

But since the devil brought them thus *** I'le follow him, and set downe my conceit

together, What a gull is-oh, word of much receit!

To my discoursing +++ thoughts it is a wonder, He is a gull whose indiscretion Cracks his purse-strings to be in fashion;

Why presently as III soon as they came thither, He is a gull who is long in taking roote

The self-same devil did them part asunder. In barraine soyle where can be but small fruite; Doubtless, it seems, it was a foolish devil, He is a gull who runnes himselfe in debt For twelue dayes' wonder, hoping so to get;

That thus did $$$ part them ere they did some He is a gull whose conscience is a block,

evil.
Not to take interest, but wastes his stock;
He is a gull who cannot haue a whore,
But brags how much he spends upon her score;
He is a gull that for commoditie

And thought] So eds.-MS." Thinkinge."
Payes tenne times ten, and sells the same for three; I] So eds.--MS.“ Hee."
He is a gull who, passing finicall,

* In Plurimos) So eds.—MS. "In meritriculas (sic) Peiseth each word to be rhetoricall;

Londinensis." And, to conclude, who selfo-conceitedly

§ Faustinus ... Cinna, Ponticus) so ods.-MS. "FauThinks al men guls, ther's none more gull then he.” tinus Cuma, Pontinus."

Guilpin's Skialetheia, &c., 1998, Epig. 20. || Lesbia] So eds.-M8. “Lisba." & either to the stage] See notes on Epigram xxviii.

| Rhodope] So eds. B, C; and MS -Ed. A "Rodpe." || through a grate] Malone has cited this passage ** Scaines] So eds.-MS. “Ware." (Shakespeare, by Boswell, iii. 81), and, if he explains it It their lodging] So eds.-M8. "3 lodgings" rightly, the allusion is to one of the two boxes (some 11 fell] So ods. -MS. “ falle." times called private boxes) which were situated on each

$$ their .....

their) So eds.- Not in MS. side of the balcony or upper stage.

|||| dissolv'd] So M8. — Eds. “dissolues." T double] So eds.-MS. “ doubtfull."

11 rout) i. e. rabble, set. ** fry of ] So eds.--MS. “cry of the."

*** thus) So cds.--MS. “first." tt greater] So eds.-MS. "greatest."

Att discoursing) so ods. ---MS. "discerniuge.' 11 may have] So eds.-MS. "men may."

111 a8] Sto eds. --MS. "80." $$ do] So eds.-MS. "did."

$$$ thus did] So eds.-M8. "straight would.

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Great Captain Medon wears a chain of gold
Which at five hundred crowns is valued,
For that it was his grandsire's t chain of old,
When great King Henry Boulogne conquered.
And wear it, Medon, for it may ensue,
That thou, by virtue of this I massy chain,
A stronger town than Boulogne mayst subdue,
If wise men's saws be not reputed & vain;
For what said Philip king of Macedon?
“There is no castle so well fortified,
But if an ass laden with gold come ll on,
The guard will stoop, and gates fly open wide."

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IN KATAM.tt VIII.

IN GELLAM. XI.
Kate, being pleas'd, wish'd that her pleasure
could

Gella, if thou dost love thyself, take heed
Endure as long as a buff-jerkin would.

Lest thou my rhymes ? unto thy lover read; Content thee, Kate; although thy pleasure For straight thou grinn'st, ** and then thy lover wasteth,

seeth
Thy pleasure's place like a buff-jerkin lasteth, Thy canker-eaten gums and rotten teeth.

For no buff-jerkin hath been oftener worn,
Nor hath more scrapings or more dressings

borne.

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IN QUINTUM.++ XII.
IN LIBRUM. IX.

Quintus his wit 11 infus'd into his brain,

Mislikes the place, and fled into his feet;
Liber doth vaunt how chastely he hath liv'd
Since he hath been in town, seven years Dabbled in the dirt, and soaked in the rain.

And there it wanders up and down the street, $ $ and more,

Doubtless bis wit intends not to aspire, * valorous) So eds. -MS, “valient."

Which leaves his head, to travel in the mire. this) So eds.-MS. "the." 1 this] So eds.-MS. "the." § nor] So MS.-Eds. "not."

* A maid, a wise) So eds. --MS. "A wife, a made." || Paul's] Eds. A, B, Powles. "--Ed. C “Paules. " t grandsire's] So eds.—M9. “fathers." MS. “ Powels." (But in Ep. XI, ed. A has "Paules"). virtue of this] So eds. --MS. “wearing of that."

80 often doth him) So ed. A. -Eds. B, C, "doth him § reputed] So eds.--MS, "accounted." 80 often."--MS. 80 often him doth."

Il come] So M8.-Eds. "comes." ** quite] So cds.- Not in M8.

Trhymes] So eds.—MS. "lynes." it In Katam] This Epigram is not in MS.

** grinn'st) So eds. -MS. "

“laughost."
11 been in town, seven years) So ed. A.-Eds. B, C, “bin 11 In Quintum] This Epigram is not in Ms.
seauen years in towne."--MS. "knowen this towne 7 11 Quintus his wit] i. o. Quintus's wit.
yeares."

$8 street] Eds. “streetes."

AAS

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Thou with harsh noise the air dost* rudely IN SEVERUM. XIII.

break; The puritan Severus oft doth read

But what thou utter'st common

sense doth This* text, that doth pronounce vain speech +

want,a sin,

Half-English words,t with fustian terina " That thing defiles a man, that doth proceed

among
From out the mouth, not that which enters I Much like the burden of a northern song.

in."
Hence is it that we seldom hear him swear;
And thereof, || like a Pharisee, he vaunts :
But he devours more capons in a year
Than would suffice antt hundred protestants.

IN FAUSTUM. XVI.
And, sooth, those sectaries II are gluttons all, That youth," saith Faustus,“ hath a lion:
As well the thread-bare cobbler as the knight;

seen, For those poor slaves which have not where- Who from aş dicing-house comes moneyless." withal,

But when he lost his hair, where had be been 1 Feed $$ on the rich, till they devour them quite; I doubt || me, he had seen a lioness. And so, like|||| Pharaoh's kine, they eat up

clean Those that be fat, yet still themselves be IT lean.

IN COSMUM. XVII.

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*** XIV.

Cosmus hath more discoursing in his head
IN LEUCAM.*

Than Jove when Pallas issu'd from his brain; Leuca in presence once a fart did let;

And still he strives to be delivered
Some laugh'd a little; she forsook +++ the place; Of all his thoughts at once; but all in vain;
And, mad with shame, did ekerti her glove For, as we see at all the ** playhouse-doors,
forget,

When ended is the play, the dance, and song, Which she return'd to fetch with bashful grace; A thousand townsmen, gentlemen, and whores,

And when she would have said “ my glove,"$$$ Porters, and serving-men, together throng,“My fart," quod || || || she; which did more So thoughts of drinking, thriving, tt wenching, laughter move.

war,11
And borrowing money, ranging $$ in his mind,
To issue all at|lli once so forward are,

As none at all can perfect passage find.
IN MACRUM. XV.
Thou canst not speak yet, ITT Macer; for to

speak,
Is to distinguish sounds significant:

IN FLACCUM. XVIII. * This) So eds. -MS. “His." t speech] So eds.--MS. “wordes."

The false knave Flaccus once a bribe I gave; I enters) So eds.-MS. “entereth."

The more fool I91 to bribe so false a knave: § is it] So eds.-MS. “it is." || thereof] So eds.-MS. “therefore." I like) So Ed. A, and M8.-Eds. B, C, “as."

* harsh noise the air dost] So eds. --MS. (nonsensically) ** al So ed. A, and M8.--Eds. B, C, "one."

“horse nor sea the ayre

doth." It an) So eds. B, C.-Ed. A “a."-MS. "one."

# words) So eds.-MS. "termes." 11 those sectaries) So eds.-MS. “these scituaries."

I a lion) So eds.-MS. “the lions." $$ Feed] So eds.-MS. “Eate."

§ Who from a] So eds.-MS. “Which from the." lIlI like) So ed. A, and M8.-Eds. B, C, "as."

|| doubt] So eds.--MS.“ feare." 19 be fat, yet still themselves be] So eds.—MS. “are fatt, I he] So eds. B, C; and M8.-Not in ed. A. yetl they themselues are."

** at all the) So eds.-MS. "that att the." *** In Leucam) This Epigram is not in MS.

It drinking, thriving] So eds.—MS. “thrivinge, drinck. tt forsook] So ed. A.-Eds. B, C, “refus'd."

inge." 111 eke) So ed. A.-Eds. B, C, “then."

11 wenching, war) So ods.—MS "renchinge ware. * 886 my glove "] Something has dropt out of this line. $8 ranging] So M8.-Eds. "raging." Ull quod] 1. e. quoth.

IIII at) So eds. B, C; and MS.-Ed. A "X" TII yet) So eds.—MS. "of."

1 The more fool I] So eds. --MS. “I was a foole."

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But he gave back my* bribe; the more fool he, The fall of money, and burning of Paul'a*
That for my folly did not cozen me.

steeple,
The blazing star, and Spaniards' overthrow:
By these events, notorious to the people,

He measures times, and things forepast doth IN CINEAM. XIX.

show:
Thout, doggèd Cineas, hated like a dog,

But most of all, he chiefly reckons by
For still thou grumblest like a masty I dog, A private chance,-the death of his curst +
Compar'st thyself to nothing but a dog;

wife;
Thou say'st thou art as weary as a dog,

This is to him the dearest memory,
As angry, sick, and hungry as a dog

And th' happiest accident of all his life.
As dull and melancholy as a dog,
As lazy, sleepy, idleg as a dog.
But why dost thou compare thee to a dog

IN MARCUM. XXI.
In that for which all men despise a dog?
I will compare thee better to a dog;

When Marcus comes from Mins',I he still doth
Thou art as fair and || comely as a dog,

swear, Thou art as true and honest as a dog,

Ву

on seven," s thatll all is lost and Thou art as kind and liberal as a dog,

gone :
Thou art as wise and valiant as a dog.

But that's not true; for he hath lost his hair,
But, Cineas, I have often heard thee tell, Only for that he came too much on one.
Thou art as like ** thy father as may be:
'Tis like enough; and, faith, I like it ++ well;
But I am glad thou art not like to me.

IN CYPRIUM. XXII.
The fine youth Cyprius is more terse and neat

Than the new garden of the Old Temple is ;
IN GERONTEM.II XX.

And still the newest fashion he doth get,
Geron bis $ $ mouldy memory corrects

And with the time doth change from that to
Old Holinshed our famous chronicler

this; With moral rules, and policy collects

He wears a hat now of the flat-crown block, tt Out of all actions done these fourscore year; ||||

The treble ruff, It long cloak, and doublet
Accounts the time of every old event,

French;
Not from Christ's birth, nor from the prince's He takes tobacco, and doth wear a lock,
reign,

And wastes more time in dressing than a wench.
But from some other famous accident,

Yet this new-fangled youth, made for these $$ Which in men's general notice doth remain,

times,

Doth, above
The siege of Boulogne, and the plaguy sweat,

allpraise old George |||| The going to Saint Quintiu's and New-baven,

Gascoigne's rhymes.
The rising in the north, the frost so great,

* Paul's] So eds. A, C.--Ed. B “Powles."
That cart-wheel prints on Thamis' In face were

curst i. e. ill-natured. graven,

1 from Mins') So ed. A.-Eds. B, C, "from Minnes.”—

MS. "for newes."— Mins' (which perhaps should be write my] So eds.—MS. “the."

ten Min's) is, I presume, the name of some person who Thou) So eds.--MS. "Thous."

kept an ordinary where gaming was practised. 1 masty) 1. e, mastiff.

$ on seven) So eds. B, C; and MS. (which has the not sleepy, idle) So MS.-Eds. “sleepie and as idle." unusual spelling, "one" for "on"). -Ed. A “a scauen." || and] So eds. -MS. "as."

that] So eds. —Not in MS. 1 often) So M8.-Eds. A, B, "oft."-Ed. C omits the true] So eds.-M8. “so." word.

** came too much on one] Eds. "came too much at one" ** Thou art as like] So eds.-MS. “That thou art like." (nor wrongly, if in the second line we read "at seven, It'Tis ..., it) So eds.-MS. “Its ... thee." for which “a scauen" of ed. A is most probably a mis#1 In Gerontem) This Epigram is not in MS.

print). -MS. "comes to much one (i. e. on) one." $$ Geron his) i. e. Geron's.-Ed. A “Geron."-Eds. B, C, .tt block) i. e. form, fashion (properly, the wood on "Gerons."

which the crown of the hat is moulded). III year] So ed. A.-Eds. B, C, “yeares."

*1 ruft) So MS. -Eds.“ruffes." 19 Thamis') So eds. B. C.-Ed. A “ Thames.

$$ there) So eds. —MS. "this,' *** graven) Eds. “Beene.

ul George) Su ods. B, C; and M8.-Not in ed. A.

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