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AMI. Thou art too brief. I will the second tim«, As I would buy thee, view thee, limb by limb.
IJefi. O, like a book of sport thou'lt read me o'er: But there's more in me than thou understand'st. Why doll thou so oppress me with thine eye?
Achil. Tell me, you heav'ns, in which part of his body Shall I destroy him? whether there, or there, That I may give the local wound a name, And make distinct the very breach, where-out Hector's great spirit flew. Answer me, heav'ns !•
Hect. It would discredit the blest Gods, proud man, To answer such a question: stand again. Think'st thou to catch my lise so pleasantly, As to prenominate in nice conjecture, Where thou wilt hit me dead?
AMI- I tell thee, yea.
Hect. Wert thou the oracle to tell me so,
Ajax. Do not chase thee, cousin;
Heel. I pray you, let us see you in the field:
Achil. Dost thou intreat me, Hector?
3 to be odd
He6l. Thy hand upon that match.
Aga. First, all you Peers of Greece^ go to my tent, There in the sull convive you; afterwards, As Heffor's leisure and your bounties shall Concur together, severally intreat him To taste your bounties: let the trumpets blow; That this great soldier may his welcome know. [Exeunt.
Manent Troilus and Ulysses.
Trot. My Lord Ulyjses,'tell me, I beseech you,
Ulys. At Menelau? tent, most princely Troilus;
Troi. Shall I, sweet Lord, be bound to thee so much,
Ulys. You shall command me, Sir.
Trot. O Sir, to such as boasting shew their scars,
4 :hz: wai/s
ACT ACTV. SCENE I.
Before Achilles'/ Tent in the Grecian Camp.
Enter Achilles and Patroclus.
'L L heat his blood with Gr'eekijh wine to-night,
AM. How now, thou core of envy?
Iher. Why, thou picture of what thou seem'st, and idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.
AM. From whence, fragment?
Ther. Why, thou sull dish of fool, from Troy.
Pat. Who keeps the tent now i
Ther. The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound. *
Pat. Well said, adversity; and what need these tricks?
Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy, I profit not by thy talk; thou art thought to be Achilles's S'male-harlot.N
Pat. s'Male-harlot,N you rogue? what's that?
Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o' gravel i' th' back; lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders sull of imposthume, sciatica's, lime-kilns i' th' palm, incurable bone-ake, and the rivall'd see-simple of the
(a) In tbit answer Thersites only quibbles upon the word Tent.
4 batch . . . old. edit. Theob. emend.
5 Male-Varlet. . . . old edit. Tbirl. emend.
tetter, take and take again such preposterous ^debaucheries !N
Pat. Why, thou damnable box of envy thou, what mean'st thou to curse thus? Tber. Do I curse thee?
Pat. Why, no, you ruinous butt, you whoreson indistinguishable cur.
Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of fley'd silk; thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye; thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such watcrflies, diminutives of nature!
Pat. "Nut-gall !N
jfchil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite From my great purpose in to-morrow's battel: Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba, A token from her daughter, my fair love, 3 Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep An oath that 1 have sworn. I will not break ir, Fall Greek, fail fame; honour, or go, or stay, My major vow lyes here; this I'll obey. Come, come, fhersites, help to trim my tent, This night in banqueting must all be spent. Away, Patroclus. [Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus.
Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain, these two may run mad: but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon, an honest sellow enough, and one that ioves b quails, but he hath not so much brain as ear-wax; and the goodly transformation of Jufiter there, his brother, the bull, (the primitive statue, and *'antiqueN memorial of cuckolds) a thrifty shoeing
(a) Tbit it a circumstance taken from the Jiory-book of the three de(tntBimt of Troy.
fb) Meaning'wanton Women: Quails being of so hot a constitution that it it a proverb among the French, Chaud comm' line caille. And Des cailles coiffees it an txpreffion u/ed by Rabelais. Iheob.
6 discoveries 7 Out, gall! 8 oblique
horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg; to what form, but that 9'he is of, shoukT wit larded with malice, and malice farced with wic "turn him ?N to an afs were nothing, he is both ass and ox ; to an ox were nothing, he is both ox and ass : to be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care; but to be Mcnelaus, I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what 1 would be, if I were not Thersttes; for I care not to be the lowsc of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus.— Hey-day, spirits and fires!
S C E N E II.
Enter Hector, Troilus, Ajax, Agamemnon, Ulysses, Nestor, and Diomede, with lights.
Aga. We go wrong, we go wrong.
Ajax. No, yonder 'tis, there where we see the light.
Hect. I trouble you.
Ajax. No, not a whit.
Ulyf. Here comes himself to guide you.
Achil. WelcomP, brave Hector., welcome, Princes all.
Aga. So, now, fair Prince of T'roy, I bid good-night. Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.
Hect. Thanks and good-night to the Greeks' General.
Men. Good-night, my Lord.
Hect. Good-night, sweet Lord Menelaus.
Thtr. Sweet draff — sweet, quoth a — sweet sink, sweet sewer.
Achil. Good-night, and welcome, both at once, to those that go or tarry. Aga. Good-night.
AM. Old Nestor tarries; you too, Diomede,
9 be is, should i turn him to?