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the chapter.-Play?—Now and then, as you say, one must, to oblige, and from necessity; but from taste or inclination, no; I never touch a card.

Mrs Bell. Oh! very true; I forgot. You dedicate your time to the muses; a downright rhyming peer. Do you know, my lord, that I am charmed with your song?

Love. Are you?

Mrs Bell. Absolutely; and I really think you would make an admirable Vauxhall poet.

Love. Nay, now you flatter me.

Mrs Bell. No, as I live; it is very pretty. And
do you know that I can sing it already? Come, you
shall hear how I murder it. I have no voice to-
day, but you shall hear me.
[Sings.

Attend, all ye fair, and I'll tell you the art,
To bind ev'ry fancy with ease in your chains;
To hold in soft fetters the conjugal heart,
And banish from Hymen his doubts and his pains.

When Juno was deck'd with the Cestus of Love,
At first she was handsome; she charming be-

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Love. My poetry is infinitely obliged to you. It grows into sense as you sing it. Your voice, like the Cestus of Venus, bestows a grace upon every thing.

Mrs Bell. Oh! fulsome; I sing horridly. [Goes to the glass.] How do I look ?-Don't tell me, my lord; you are studying a compliment, but I am resolved to mortify you; I wor.'t hear it.Well! have you thought of any thing? Let it pass; 'tis too late now. Pray, my lord, how came you to choose so grave a subject as connubial happiness? Love. Close and particular that question!

[Aside. Mrs Bell, Juno! Hymen! doubts and pains! one would almost swear that you have a wife at home who sat for the picture.

Love. Ma'am, the-Embarrassed.] The conpliment-you are only laughing at me-the sub

[ject, from every day's experience-[Aside.] Docs she suspect me?-the subject is common-Bachelors' wives, you know-ha! ha!And when you inspire the thought; when you are the bright original, it is no wonder that the copy

Mrs Bell. Horrid! going to harp on the old string. Odious solicitations! I hate all proposals, I am not in the humour. You must release me now; your visit is rather long. I have indulged you a great while. And besides, were I to listen to your vows, what would become of poor Sir Brilliant Fashion?

Love. Sir Brilliant Fashion?
Mrs Bell. Do you know him?

Love. I know whom you mean. I have seen him; but that's all. He lives with a strange set, and does not move in my sphere. If he is a friend of yours, I have no more to say.

Mrs Bell. Is there any thing to say against him? Love. Nay, I have no knowledge of the gentleman. They who know him best, don't rate him high. A sort of current coin that passes in this town. You will do well to beware of counterfeits.

Mrs Bell. But this is very alarming

Enter MIGNIONET, in a violent Hurry. Mign. My dear madam, I am frighted out of my senses. The poor lady-where are the hartshorn drops?

Love. The lady! what lady?

Mign. Never stand asking what lady. She has fainted away all on a sudden; she is now in strong hysterics; give me the drops.

Mrs Bell. I must run to her assistance. Adieu, my lord. I shall be at home in the evening. Mignionet, step this way. Your lordship will excuse me: I shall expect to see you. Come, Mignionet, make haste; make haste.

[Exit with MIGNIONET. Love. I hope the lady has not overheard me. What a villain am I to carry on this scheme against so much beauty, innocence, and merit! And to wear this badge of honour for the darkest purposes! And then my friend, Sir Brilliant, will it be fair to supplant him?-Pr'ythee, be quiet, my dear conscience! none of your meddling : don't interrupt a gentleman in his pleasures. Don't you know, my good friend, that love has no respect for persons, but soars above all laws of honour and of friendship? Noreflection; have her I must, and that quickly toɔ, or she will discover all. Besides, this is my wife's fault: why does not she make home agreeable? I am willing to be happy; I could be constant to her, but she is not formed for happiness. What the devil is madam Fortune about now?[Sir BRILLIANT sings within.] Sir Brilliant, by all that's infamous. Confusion! no place to hide me! no escape! The door is locked. Mignionet, Mignionet, open the door.

Mign. [Within.] You must not come in here. Love. What shall I do? This star, and this ribbon will bring me disgrace. Away with this tell

tale evidence. [Takes off the ribbon.] Go, thou blushing devil, and hide thyself for ever. [Puts it in his pocket.

Enter Sir BRILLIANT, singing. Sir Bril. Mrs Bellmour, I have such a story for you.-How!-Lovemore? Love. Your slave, Sir Brilliant, your slave. [Hiding the star with his hat. Sir Bril. I did not think you had been acquainted here.

Love. You are right. I came in quest of you. I saw the lady. I was drawn hither by mere curiosity. We have had some conversation; and I made it subservient to your purposes. I have been giving a great character of you.

Sir Bril. You are always at the service of your friends. But what's the matter? what are you fumbling about? [Pulls the hat.

Love. 'Sdeath! have a care: don't touch me. [Puts his handkerchief to his breast. Sir Bril. What the devil is the matter? Love. Oh! keep off-[Aside.] Here's a business. Taken in the old way: let me pass.-I have had a fling at Lord Etheridge: he will be out of favour with the widow: I have done you that good.-Racks and torments, my old complaint! [Wanting to pass him. Sir Bril. What complaint? You had better sit down.

Love. No, no; air, the air. I must have a surgeon. A stroke of a tennis-ball! My Lord Rackett's unlucky left-hand. Let me pass. There is something forming here. [Passes him] To be caught is the devil. [Aside.] Don't mention my name. You will counteract all I have said.Oh! torture, torture!I will explain to you another time. Sir Brilliant, yours. I have scrved your interest-Oh! there is certainly something forming! [Exit.

Sir Bril. What does all this mean?-So, so, Mrs Lovemore's suspicions are well founded.— The widow has her private visits, I see. Yes, yes; there is something forming here.

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Sir Bril. But ma'am-Nay, if you insist upon it[Goes Mrs Bell. But, sir!-I will be absolute: you must leave me. [Puts him out.] There, and now I'll make sure of the door.

Enter Mrs LOVEMORE, leaning on MIGNIONET.

Mign. This way, madam : here is more air in this room.

Mrs Bell. How do you find yourself? Pray sit down.

Mrs Love. My spirits were too weak. I could not support it any longer; such a scene of perfidy!

Mrs Bell. You astonish me: what perfidy? Mrs Love. Perfidy of the blackest dye; I told you that you were acquainted with my husband. Mrs Bell. Acquainted with your husband! [Angrily.

Mrs Love. A moment's patience-Yes, m dam, you are acquainted with him.—The base man, who went hence but now

Mrs Bell. Sir Brilliant Fashion? Mrs Love. No; your Lord Etheridge as be calls himself

Mrs Bell. Lord Etheridge! What of him, pray? Mrs Love. False, dissembling man! he is my husband, ma'am: not Lord Etheridge, but plain Mr Lovemore; my Mr Lovemore.

Mrs Bell. And has he been base enough to assume a title to ensnare me to my undoing?

Mign. [Going. Well, for certain, I believe the devil's in me: I always thought him a sly one.

[Exit.

Mrs Love. To see him carrying on this dark design, to see the man whom I have ever es teemed and loved,-the man whom I must still love,-esteem him I fear I never can,-to see him before my face with that artful treachery! it was too much for sensibility like mine; I felt the shock too severely, and I sunk under it.

Mrs Bell. I am ready to sink this moment with amazement. I saw him for the first time, at old Mrs Loveit's. She introduced him to me. The appointment was of her own making.

Mrs Love. You know Mrs Loveit's character, I suppose.

Mrs Bell. The practised veteran !-Could I suspect that a woman, in her style of life, would lend herself to a vile stratagem against my honour? That she would join in a conspiracy against her own sex?-Mr Lovemore shall never enter these doors again-I am obliged to you, ma'am, for this visit; to me a providential incident. I am sorry for your share in it. The discovery secures my peace and happiness; to you it is a fatal conviction, a proof unanswerable against the person to whom you are joined for life.

Mrs Love. After this discovery, it cannot be for life. I am resolved not to pass another day

under his roof.

Mrs Bell Hold, hold: no sudden resolutions. Consider a little: passion is a bad adviser. This may take a turn for your adavantage.

Mrs Love. That can never be; I am lost be yond redemption.

Mrs Bell. Don't decide too rashly. Come, come, the man who has certain qualities, is worth thinking about, before one throws the hideous thing away for ever. Mr Lovemore is a traitor; but is not he still amiable? And besides, you have heard his sentiments. That song points at something. Perhaps you are a little to blame. He did not write upon such a subject, without a cause to suggest it. We will talk over this matter coolly. You saved me, and I must return the obligation. You shall stay dinner with me.

Mrs Love. Excuse me. Mr Lovemore may possibly go home. He shall hear of his guilt, while the sense of it pierces here, and wounds me to the quick.

Mrs Bell. Now there you are wrong; take my advice first. I will lay such a plan as may en

sure him yours for ever. Come, come, you must not leave me yet. [Takes her hand.] Answer me one question; don't you still think he has qualities that do in some sort apologize for his vices? Mrs Love. I don't know what to think of it; I hope he has.

Mrs Bell. Very well then. I have lost a lover; you may gain one. Your conduct upon this occasion may reform him; and let me tell you that the man, who has it in his power to atone for his faults, should not be entirely despised.Let the wife exert herself; let her try her powers of pleasing, and take my word for it,

The wild gallant no more abroad will roam,
But find his loved variety at home. [Exeunt.

ACT IV.

SCENE I.-An Apartment in LOVEMORE'S
House.

Mr and Mrs LOVEMORE at Table after Dinner:
Servants taking Things out of the Room.
Love. [Filling a glass.] I wonder you are not
tired of the same eternal topic. [Sipping his wine.
Mrs Love. If I make it an eternal topic, it is
for your own good, Mr Lovemore.

more.

Love. I know I have your good wishes, and you have mine. All our absent friends, Mrs Love[Drinks. Mrs Love. If you would but wish well to yourself, sir, I should be happy. But in the way you go on, your health must be ruined: day is night, and night day; your substance squandered; your constitution destroyed; and your family quite neglected.

Love. Family neglected! you see I dined at home, and this is my reward for it.

Mrs Love. You dined at home, sir, because something abroad has disconcerted you. You went, I suppose, after I saw you at Lady Constant's, to your old haunt, your friend, Mrs Loveit

declaration, I should be happy. A tavern life has hitherto been your delight. I wonder what delight you can find in such an eternal round of gaming, riot, and dissipation. Will you answer

me one question?

Love. With great pleasure,—[Aside.]—if it is not inconvenient.

Mrs Love. Lay your hand on your heart, and tell me,- -Have I deserved this usage? Love. My humble service to you, my love. [Drinks. Mrs Love. I am sure I have never been deficient in any one point of the duty I owe you. You won my heart, and I gave it freely.

Love. [Going to sleep.] It is very true.

Mrs Love. Your interest has been mine. I have known no pleasure unconnected with your happiness. Diversions, show, and pomp, have had no allurements for me.

Love. [Dropping asleep.] Yes,-you are right -just as you please

Mrs Love. Had I been inclined to follow the example of other women, your fortune would have felt it before now. You might have been thousands out of pocket; but your interest has been the object of my attention; and your convenience

Love. Mrs Loveit! ha! ha! I dropt her acquaintance long ago. No, my love, I drove into the city, and spent the rest of the morning up-veryon business. I had long accounts to settle with old Discount, the banker.

Mrs Love. And that to be sure engrossed all your time. Business must be minded. Did you find him at home?

Love. It was by his own appointment. I went to his house directly after I parted from you. I have been no where else. Matters of account always fatigue me.

Mrs Love. I would not be too inquisitive, sir. Love. Oh! no; you never are. I staid at the banker's the rest of the time; and I came straight from his house to have the pleasure of dining with you. [Fills a glass of wine.]

Mrs Love. Were there any sincerity in that

Love. [Turns his chair from her.] You reason -you reason admir—ably-admirably -always-al-always-gay-and

enter-entertaining

[Going to sleep. Mrs Love. Marriage is generally considered as an introduction to the great scene of the world. I thought it a retreat to less noisy and serener pleasures. What is called polite company [He falls fast asleep.] was not my taste. You was lavish in expence; I was, therefore, an œconomist. From the moment marriage made me yours, the pleasure arising from your company-There! fast asleep! Agreeable company indeed!—This is ever his way. [She rises.] Unfeeling man !-It is too plain that I am grown his aversion. Mr Lovemore! [Looking at him.] you little think what a scene this day has brought to light.-And

yet he hopes with falsehood to varnish and disguise his treachery. How mean the subterfuge! shall I rouse him now, and tax him with his guilt? My heart is too full: reproach will only tend to exasperate, and perhaps make him irreconcileable. The pride that can stoop to low and wretched artifice, but ill can brook detection. Let him rest for the present. The Widow Bellmour's experiment may answer better. I will try it, at least. Oh! Mr Lovemore, you will break my heart!

son of his cast? A presuming man! But I have mortified his vanity. Before this time, he has found his diamonds thrown back upon his hands, with the disdain which such confidence deserves. But if I have made a mistake!—Oh! no; no danger. Has not Sir Brilliant made overtures to me? Has not he declared himself? He sees Sir Bashful's behaviour, and his vanity plumes itself upon that circumstance. To give me my revenge against a crazy and insufferable husband, he would fain induce me to ruin myself with a coxcomb. Besides; he heard the whole of Sir Bashful's dispute about diamonds and trinkets: the thing is clear; it was Sir Brilliant sent them; and by tha: stratagem he hopes to bribe me into compliance. That bait will never take; though here comes one, who, I am sure, deserves to be treated without a grain of ceremony.

Enter Sir BASHFUL.

[Looks at him, and exit. Love. [Talking in his sleep.) I do listen-I am not asleep. (Sleeps and nois. You are very right; -always right-I am only thinking a little. No -no-no [Matters indistinctly.] It was not two o'clock-in bed-in bed by twelve-Sir Bashful is an oaf-The Widow Bellmour-{Sleeps, and his head rolls about.] What's the matter? [Waking.] I beg your pardon; I was beginning to nod. What did you say, my dear? [Leans on the table, without looking about.] One cannot always, you know -[Turns about.] 'Sdeath! she is gone! Oh! fast asleep. This is ever the way when one dines at home. Let me shake it off. [Riscs.] What's o'clock?-No amusement in this house; what Lady Cons. Your address is polite, sir. shall I do? The widow ?—I must not venture in Sir Bash. [Aside.] Still proud and obstinate! that quarter. My evil genius, Sir Brilliant, will-Has any thing happened to disturb the harmbe busy there. Is any body in the way? I must sally out. My dear Venus, favour your votary this afternoon:

Your best arms employ,
All wing'd with pleasure, and all tipt with joy.
[Exit.

SCENE II.-Changes to Sir BASHFul's.
Enter Lady CONSTANT and FURNISH.
Lady Cons. Who brought this letter?
Fur. A servant of Mrs Lovemore's: he waits

an answer.

Lady Cons. My compliments to Mrs Lovemore, and I shall wait upon her.

Fur. Yes, ma'am.

[Going. Lady Cons. And hark ye, Furnish ;-have the things been carried to Sir Brilliant, as I ordered? Fur. I have obeyed your ladyship's commands. The steward went himself. Mr Pounce, your ladyship knows, is a trusty body. You may depend upon his care.

Lady Cons. Go, and send Mrs Lovemore her answer. She may depend upon my being with her in time. [Exit FURNISH.] What can Mrs Lovemore want? [Reads,] "Ladyship's company to a card-party; but cards are the least part of my object. I have something of higher moment in view, and the presence of my friends is absolutely necessary." There is some mystery in all this. What does she mean? I shall go, and then the scene will clear up: those diamond buckles embarrass me more than Mrs Lovemore's unintelligible letter. Diamond buckles to me! From what quarter? Who could send them? Nobody but Sir Brilliant. I am right in my conclusion: they came from him. Who could take the liberty but a per

Sir Bash. Here she is. Now let me see whe ther she will take any notice of the present I seat her. She has reason to be in good humour, I think. Your servant, madam.

ny of your temper?

Lady Cons. Considering what little discord you make, it is a wonder that my temper is not always in tune.

Sir Bash. If you never gave me cause, ma

dam

Lady Cons. Oh! for mercy's sake, truce with altercation. I am tired out with the eternal vio lence of your temper. Those frequent starts of passion hurry me out of my senses: and those unaccountable whims, that hold such constant possession of you

Sir Bash. Whims, madam ?-Not to comply with you in every thing, is a whim, truly. Must I yield to the exorbitant demands of your extra vagance? When you laid close siege to me for diamond baubles, and I know not what, was th a whim of mine? Did I take that fancy into my head without cause, and without sufficient fourdation?

Lady Cons. Well, we have exhausted the sub ject. Have not you told me a thousand times that there is no living with me? I agree to it. And have not I returned the compliment? We have nothing new to say; and now, all that remains, is to let the lawyer reduce to writing our mutual opinions, and so we may part with the pleasure of giving each other a most woeful character.

Sir Bash. [Aside.] The buckles have had no effect. Stubborn! she has received them, and won't own it.

Lady Cons. A dash of your pen, sir, at the foot of certain articles now preparing, will make us both easy. [Going

Sir Bash. If we don't live happily, it is your own fault.

Lady Cons. That is very odd

Sir Bash. If you would control your passion | speedily be performed, intitled, The Amorous Husfor playLady Cons. Quite threadbare!

Sir Bash. I have still a regard for you. Lady Cons. Worn-out to frippery!-I cann't hear any more. The law will dress it up in new language for us, and that will end our differences. [Exit. Sir Bash. [Alone.] I must unburthen my heart: there is no time to be lost. I love her; I admire her; she inflames my tenderest passions, and raises such a conflict here in my very heart, I cannot any longer conceal the secret from her. I'll go and tell her all this moment. But then that meddling fiend, her maid, will be there: po! I can turn her out of the room: but then the jade will suspect something. Her ladyship may be alone: I'll send to know where she is. Who is there? Sideboard

Enter SIDEBOARD.

Sir Bash. Go and tell your lady that

[Pauses.

Side. Did your honour want me? Sir Bash. No matter; it does not signify.[Aside.] I shall never be able to tell her my mind: a glance of her eye, and my own confusion, will undo all.

Side. I thought your honour called.

Sir Bash. [Aside.] A thought comes across me; I'll write her a letter. Yes, yes, a letter will do the business. Sideboard, draw that table this way -Reach me a chair.

Side. There, your honour.

Sir Bush. Do you stay while I write a letter. You shall carry it for me. [Sits down to write. Side. Yes, sir.--I hope he has an intrigue upon his hands. A servant thrives under a master that has his private amusements. Love on, say I, if you are so given; it will bring grist to my mill. Sir Bash. [Writing.] This will surprise her. Warm, passionate, and tender! and yet it does not come up to what I feel.

Side. What is he at ?-I may as well read the newspaper. [Takes it out of his pocket] What, in the name of wonder, is all this?-Ha, ha! [Bursts into a loud laugh.] I never heard the like of this before. Oh, ho, ho, ho!

Sir Bash. What does the scoundrel mean? [Stares at him.

Side. Ha, ha, ha! I cann't help laughing. Sir Bash. Does the villain suspect me? [Rises.] Hark ye, sirrah, if ever I find that you dare listen❘ at any door in my house

Side. Sir!

Sir Bash. Confess the truth: have not you been listening to my conversation with Mr Lovemore this morning?

Side. Who, I, sir? I would not be guilty of such a thing: I never did the like in all my days. Sir Bash. What was you laughing at?

Side. A foolish thing in the newspaper, sir, that's all. I'll read it to your honour. [Reads] "We hear that a new comedy is now in rehearsal, and will

band; or, The Man in love with his own Wife." Sir Bash. And what do you see to laugh at? Side. See, sir? I have lived in a great many families, and never heard of the like before.

Sir Bash. [Aside.] There, there, there!--I shall be the butt of my own servants.-Sirrah, leave the room. And let me never hear that you have the trick of listening in my house.

Side. No, sir-The Man in Love with his own Wife! [Exit laughing. Sir Bash. What does the varlet mean?-No matter I have finished my letter, and it shall be sent this moment. But then, if I should get into a comedy? Po! no more scruples. I'll scal it directly-Sideboard

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Side. Very well, sir.-Does he think to manage his own intrigues? If he takes my commission out of my hands, I shall give him warning. The vices of our masters are all the vails a poor servant has left. [Exil.

Sir Bash. What must be done?-Mr Lovemore could conduct this business for me. He is a man of address, and knows all the approaches to a woman's heart. That fellow Sideboard coming again?—No, no; this is lucky. Mr Lovemore, Ï ain glad to see you.

Enter LOVEMORE.

Love. A second visit, you see, in one day; entirely on the score of friendship.

Sir Bash. And I thank you for it; heartly thank you.

Love. I broke away from the company at the St Alban's, on purpose to attend you. Well, I have made your lady easier in her mind, have not I?

Sir Bash. We don't hit it at all, Mr Lovemore. Love. No!

Sir Bash. I think she has been rather worse since you spoke to her.

[Aside.

Love. A good symptom that. Sir Bash. She has received the diamond buckles. They were delivered to her maid sealed up,

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