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Chairman returns thanks-New chairman-Songs-Festivity-Late hours.)


Now here is a saving to the newspapers, of at least three columns. In other periodical works, in pamphlets, and particularly in books, the inestimable advantage of this mode of compression "must strike every impartial mind." I have heard of a learned person, who, having set himself the task of reading Shakspeare, used to come down to breakfast, rubbing his hands, and exclaiming, Well-tossed off another play, and shaved besides." This I confess to be a rapidity of perusal beyond me; nor do I well see how Shakspeare is to be despatched according to the mode in question. Much might be done with Churchill, and a great deal with Young. But it will do admirably for books in ordinary. Short hand would be nothing to it. The longest hand would here become shortest. A reader of any powers might despatch fifty novels in an hour; and as many pamphlets and controversies in the same space of time. Theological controversy would consist chiefly of reference to Scripture; looking like books of arithmetic, interspersed with the names of Matthew, Mark, and Daniel. Conceive the pleasure of thus having all the real arguments, and saving infinite heat and vexation (not always of the most edifying sort) to the worthy disputants. The tears almost come into my eyes for joy, when I think how short and sweet a variety of other questions might become,-that of paper-money for instance; what a heap of pamphlets we should have consisting of one paragraph; and how many more would shrink up into easy and piquant repetitions of the words Yes and No. Oh innocent, battle-door and shuttle-cock times of controversy, why come ye not? The title page would often be the longest part of the book. Think of that. We might read by advertisement; and grow learned with a table of contents. Stationers might then almost absorb the bookselling business; and sell writing books, and books written, bound up together,—a good thick copy-book of a hundred pages, prefaced by an elaborate printed dissertation consisting of a couple. Take the following specimen of the dissertation:-nay, the reader shall have three or four volumes of controversy at once. After the proper advertisements of "Mr. Gibsons's new work."-" Gibson on the State of Affairs," &c. the work appears. -The following is the whole of it:

"An Enquiry into the Present State of the Affairs of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, with remarks on our Foreign Policy and the Holy Alliance; preceded by Observations on Bullion and the Corn Laws, together with Hints for the Gradual Amelioration of the Condition of the Working Classes; the whole interspersed with Considerations on the Question now pending between Spain and her Colonies, and Brief Reflections on the Utility of the Tread-Mill. In a Letter to a Noble Lord. By a late Member of the University." Nullius addictus jurare in verba magistri.





Enquiry into the Present State, &c.

"My Lord,

"It is a very frequent observation. In short, my Lord, I

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agree with the numerous pamphlets already written on your Lordship's side of the question.

"I have the honour to be,

"With the greatest respect,
"My Lord,

"Your Lordship's most obliged,

“Most obedient and most humble servant. "JOHN GIBSON.”


Printed by WISE and SON, LITTLE Britain.

This work produces several answers, one of which will serve as a specimen of the rest. GABSON'S ANSWER TO GIBSON. On Friday the twenty-seventh instant, was published An Answer to the Enquiry of John Gibson Esquire, by Thomas Gabson, Esquire. Respondere paratus. VIRG. Foolscap octavo, price one halfpenny. On common paper, one farthing. (See how cheap we should get them.)


GABSON ON GIBSON," An Answer to the Work entitled, An Enquiry into the Present State of Affairs, &c., in which the Author's Mistakes on the subject of our Foreign Policy are pointed out; together with Remarks on the Observations on Bullion and the Corn Laws, in which the whole of that question is settled; and an Examination of the Proposition respecting an Amelioration of the Condition, &c. ; the whole interspersed with Considerations on the Style fit for Political Investigations, and an Attempt to reduce them to Practice. By an Eye-Witness." Respondere paratus.




"An Answer to the Work entitled An Enquiry,
&c. &c. &c.

To the Author of the Enquiry.


"Among the various vicissitudes of the human race-In a word, Sir, you are altogether in the wrong.

"I am, Sir,

"With great respect,

"Your most obedient humble servant, THOMAS GABSON.

Printed by SMALL and Sons, Westminster.

Gibson's Reply to Gabson. Crown octavo, price one halfpenny. On Saturday the 28th instant, was published the above gentleman's refutation of the above gentleman, in a pamphlet entitled "Reply to a Pamphlet entitled, an Answer to the Work entitled, " An Enquiry, &c.

GIBSON ON GABSON.-Reply to a pamphlet entitled, an answer to the Work entitled, "An Enquiry into the Present State of Affairs; being a Refutation of the Charges of Mistake on the subject of Foreign Policy,

&c. together with an Overthrow of the Remarks on the Observations on Bullion and the Corn Laws, in which the whole of that question is fairly re-stated and put beyond controversy; the whole preceded by an Examination of the Examination of the Consideration on Amelioration; and foilowed by a Criticism on the Author's Propositions respecting style, in which a new System is proposed, and the other proved to be crude and impracticable. In a Letter to the Author. By John Gibson, Esquire, Author of an Enquiry into the Present State

of Affairs.

"Non deficit alter.



"A Reply to a Pamphlet entitled An Answer,
In a Letter to the Author.


“Sir, "There are few observations more common. In short, Sir, you are altogether mistaken, not to say a little absurd and criminal; and there is an end of it.

"I am, Sir,

"With the greatest submission, "Your most obliged and obedient humble servant, "JOHN GIBSON,

"Finis. "Printed by WISE AND SON, LITTLE Britain." Gabson's Reply to the Reply.



"You're a fool; not to say a knave.
"I am, Sir, &c. &c.

Gibson's rejoinder to Gabson.

"Sir, "You're a fool, and a knave too; besides being a scoundrel, beast, devil, thief, and liar.

"I am, Sir,



Article on the above controversy in the Moral Review, or Worthy Magazine.

Art. 1. XX. An Enquiry into the Present State of Affairs, &c. By John Gibson, Esquire.

2. An Answer to the Enquiry, &c. By Thomas Gabson, Esquire. 3. A Reply to the Answer.

4. A Reply to the Reply.

5. A Rejoinder with Reply to the Reply.

"Of all the questions that agitate a reflecting community. But to hasten to the pamphlet before us, and the conclusion of this long VOL. IX. No. 54.-1825.


article. Mr. Gibson is a most excellent person, a friend of ours, and quite in the right. Of Mr. Gabson we know nothing but ill, for we know nothing at all, except that he differs with us in opinion, and therefore is undoubtedly a most absurd person, not very moral, and we shrewdly suspect, poor. We have done with him. We are sorry he is not a better man, for he would have been a happier but that is not our fault. The reader is exhorted to buy only the Reply, which will put him in possession of the whole controversy, and is written in a spirit worthy of the worthy author. Gabson is gross and vulgar. But no more of him.

A Modern Novel.

(( Georgiana Villars was a most charming young creature. Montague Danvers was a most interesting young man. They lived in Portmansquare, and fell in love. A misunderstanding arises, not very probable, but extremely necessary. He (with agony of mind) thinks her unworthy. She (with anguish still more exquisite) is too modest to explain. At length chance befriends them. She flies on the wings of love. She is reserved, but does not drive him to despair. A perfidious rival is unmasked; friends are reconciled; parents consent; and Montague leads his Georgiana, a blushing bride, to the altar of Hymen. Thus virtue, &c. while, on the other hand, vice, &c. Finis."

A Romance.

"See novel, with the addition of a ghost, a corridor, or an Italian Marquis."(By the by, an Italian Marquis is the most unromantic of human beings, and not the richest, or highest of rank. But that is in Italy, not in England.)

Treatise in Philosophy.

"MAN, &c."

A Volume of Love Poems.

"WOMAN, &c."

But the subject of being compendious in poetry has been treated before; and I must say the treatise has been handsomely followed up, the rhymes of several admired productions, particularly of the exotic species, looking as if they designed to render all the rest of the versification superfinous, provided the reader should wish to dispense with it. I could produce delightful specimens; but this might be thought by some mistaken persons invidious; and I fear I have already been a little too critical for the urbane character of this magazine. The reader will allow me to take the taste of criticism out of our mouths, with a Greek epigram. It has nothing to do with our subject; but this will only make it answer its purpose the better.


From the Greek of Meleager.

Delicious draught! It seem'd as if the wine

Knew that her lovely lips had kiss'd the bowl:
Gods were she lip to lip but under mine,

I'd not take breath till I had drain'd her soul.


"PRAY, me'm, may I ask you, who know every thing, whether it is really true that the F-s mean to outrage our feelings of female delicacy by bringing down among us those nasty North American savages? -Well-I had hoped, for the credit of the "Our Village," (to borrow the title from the work of an accomplished lady,) that it was not true, me'm.-Why, me'm, I hear they are no better than so many wild-menof-the-woods. It's really shocking to think of introducing them into genteel female society: there's no knowing what may be the consequences. For my part, me'm, I should as soon think of going to one of those horrible prize-fights, as of going to meet the monster? Not that I've been asked, as yet-which, by the by, I take as a very unaccountable slight on the part of Mrs. F ; for I hear that all the A's are going-young ladies and all; Mr. and Mrs. B; the C- -s-the D- -s-and I don't know who besides. It's really very rude of Mrs. F—, not to have asked me, at least-though she might be sure that I shouldn't go. I go into the same house (for I hear they actually mean to have them into the house!) with filthy male monsters that paint their faces in streaks, and wear beads instead of breeches! The very idea horrifies me. But Mrs. Fmight have asked me, notwithstanding."

"Well, my love, so I find that the Fs are actually going to have those dear delightful savages to dine with them to-morrow. How very romantic! I suppose you are going. Well-I do envy you— that's the truth. Don't you think, my love, you could contrive to smuggle me in, somehow? Do you known I 'd give all the world to be there-nay, I'd give up going to the next assembly !-So I hear the dear creatures rowed themselves all across the Atlantic Ocean in one of their own canoes. How very interesting! But then how very fatigued they must have been !—I wonder whether they 're so very savage. I hope they won't do much mischief. Are not you almost afraid to trust yourself with them, my love?-How very oddly they must be dressed! for I suppose they are dressed. Well, I should like to be there."

"Why, they tell me that the F-s have invited some wild Indians to dine with them, and that they give a great party in the evening, to meet them. Really, this is what I did not expect of the Fs. But the fact is that people who have been in India themselves, think they may do any thing. Well-I hope they'll give them plenty of dinner -that the company may be in no danger afterwards!-though of course they'll take care to have them properly railed off, to guard against accidents. I confess, if I could be sure that proper precautions had been taken, I should have no objection to let the children go and see them fed; for the 'feeding-time' at Exeter-change is so late that I havn't been able to let them go there, and they 've been teasing me to death all this Easter to let them see something of the kind!"

I suppose, Mr. Editor, your readers will be more than satisfied with these specimens of "Our Village" table talk. I shall therefore spare them any thing more in the shape of conjecture, however apposite or ingenious, and confine the rest of my narration to fact and description. Let them suppose, then, the invitations sent, the preparations made, the eventful day and hour arrived, and the dinner-party (consisting of a select few) met and seated at table; for at table they were seated, notwithstanding the malicious sarcasms just reported. And really the

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