nando. Your servant. [Exit. Vil. You may chance to have your bones Hyp. Sir, your most humble servant-Trap-broke, Mr. Coxcomb. panti, thou'rt a rare fellow, thou hast an ad- Trap. Sweet honeycomb, don't be so waspmirable face of brass, and when thou diest ish; or if I keep your counsel, d'ye see, I I'll have thy whole statue cast all in the don't know why my bones mayn't keep their same metal. places; but if I peach, whose bones will pay Flora. 'Twere pity the rogue was not bred for it then? to the law. Fil. Ha! the fool says true; I had better [Aside. Trap. So 'tis, indeed, sir.-A man should wheedle him. not praise himself; but if I had been bred to the gown, I dare venture to say, I become a lie as well as any man that wears it, and that's a bold word. Trap. Very good.-And pray how many Hyp. Nay, now thou art modest-but, sir-letters do you expect to be paid for when rab, we have more work for ye; you must Octavio has married your mistress, and has no get in with the servants, attack the lady's wo-occasion to write to her? While they are man: there, there's ammunition, rogue. [Gives lovers, they will always have occasion for a him Money] Now try if you can make a confidant and a go-between; but when they breach into the secrets of the family. marry-Serviteur-good night vails1); our harTrap. Ah! sir, I warrant you-I could ne-vest is over-what d'ye think of me now? ver yet meet with a woman that was this sort Vil. Why-I like what you say very well: of pistol-proof. I have known a handful of but I don't know, my friend, to me-that these do more than a barrel of gunpowder. same face of yours looks like the title-page to [Exit. a whole volume of roguery.-What is't you drive at? Trap. Don't you love money above any thing in the world-except one?" Vil. I except nothing. Flora. Well, what must we do next? ACT III. Trap. Money, money, money. Don't you let your mistress marry Octavio. I'll do my [Exeunt. best to hinder my master: let you and I lay our heads together to keep them asunder, and so make a penny of 'em all three. SCENE I.-The same. Vil. So! with much ado I have given the old don the slip; he has dangled with me through every room in the house, high and low, up stairs and down; as close to my tail as a great boy hankering after one of his mother's maids. Well, now we will see what monsieur Octavio says. [Takes a Letter from her Bosom. Trap. Hist! there she is, and alone: when the devil has any thing to do with a woman, sir, that's his time to take her; stand close. Vil. Look you, seignior, I'll meet you half way, and confess to you I had made a rough draught of this project myself: but say I should agree with you to go on upon't, what security can you give me for performance of articles? Trap. More than bond or judgment-my person in custody. Vil. Ah! that won't do. Trap. No, my love, why, there's many a sweet bit in't-taste it. [Offers to kiss her; she puts him away. Vil. No! Trap. Faith, you must give me one. Vil. Indeed, my friend, you are too ugly [Apart to Don Manuel. for me; though I am not handsome myself, I Don M. Ah! he's at work already—there's love to play with those that are. a letter. [Apart. Trap. And yet, methinks, an honest fellow Trup. Leave her to me, sir; I'll read it. of my size and complexion, in a careless pos[Apart. ture, playing the fool thus with his money. Vil. Ha! two pistoles!-Well, I'll say that [Tosses a Purse; she catches it, and he for him, the man knows his business; his letters always come post paid. kisses her. Vil. Pshaw! Well, if I must, come then.[While she is reading, Trappanti steals To see how a woman may be deceived at behind, and looks over her Shoulder. first sight of a man. [Kisses her again. Don M. Ha!-This is laying their heads together indeed. Dear Viletta-Convey the enclosed im- Trap. Nay then, take a second thought of mediately to your mistress, and, as you me, child. prize my life, use all possible means to keep the old gentleman from the closet till you are sure she is safe out of the window. Your real friend Trap. Octavio! Vil. Ah! Trap. Madam, your ladyship's servant. [Reading [Shrieks. most humble Vil. You're very impertinent, methinks, to look over other people's letters. Trap. Why I never read a letter in my life without looking it over. Vil. I don't know any business you had to look upon this. Trap. There's the thing - your not knowing that has put you into this passion. [Aside. I have a Vil. Well, now get you gone; letter to give to my mistress; slip into the garden-I'll come t'ye presently. Trap. Ist from Octavio? Vil. Pshaw! be gone, I say. [Snatches the Letter. Trap. Hist! [Beckons Don Manuel, who goes softly behind. Vil. Madam! Madam! ah! Don M. Now, strumpet, give me the other letter, or I'll murder you. [Draws. Vil. Ah! lud! Olud! there! there! [Squeaks. 1) Vails, are perquisites given to servants. Don M. Now we shall see what my gentle-| Don M. O! as for that matter, he shall see man would be at. [Reads. you presently; and I have made it his interest My dear angel-Ha! Soft and impudent-to like you-but if you are still positively reDepend upon me at the garden-door by solved upon Octavio, I'll make but few words seven this evening. Pity my impatience, and -pull off your clothes and go to him. Ros. My clothes, sir? never come too soon to believe you can Don M. Ay, for the gentleman shan't have a rag with you. Ros. I am not in haste to be starved, sir. Don M. Then let me see you put on your best airs, and receive don Philip as you should do. Ros. When do you expect don Philip, sir? Fil. What a stupid wench was I to be- Don M. Expect him; sir! he has been here lieve this old fool durst do me any harm! this hour-I only staid to get you out of the but a fright's the devil. [Aside. sullens.-He's none of your hum-drums, all Don M. [Reads] Um! um!-Sure she is life and mettle! Odzooks, he has the courage safe out of the window. O! there the mine of a cock; a duel's but a dance to him: he is to be sprung then. Now, gentlewoman, has been at sa! sa!)-sa for you already. what do you think in your conscience I ought Ros. Well, sir, I shan't be afraid of his to do to ye? courage, since I see you are resolved he shall Vil. What I think in my conscience you'll be the man. He shall find me a woman, sir, not do to me, make a friend of me-You see, let him win me and wear me as soon as sir, I dare be an enemy. you please. Don M. Nay, thou dost not want courage, I'll say that for thee: but is it possible any thing can make thee honest? Don M. Ah! now thou art my own girl; hold but in this humour one quarter of an hour, and I'll toss thee t'other bushel of doub Vil. What do you suppose would make loons into thy portion-Here, bid a-Come, me otherwise? Don M. Money. Vil. You have nick'd it. Don M. And would the same sum thee surely one as t'other? make Vil. That I can't say neither: one must be heavier than t'other, or else the scale can't turn. Don M. Say it be so; would that turn thee into my interest? Vil. The very minute you turn into mine, sir: judge yourself-Here stands Octavio with a letter, and two pieces to give it to my mistress-there stand you with a hem! and four pieces-where would the letter go, d'ye think? Don M. There needs no more-I'm convinced, and will trust thee-there's to encourage thee beforehand; [Gives her Money] and when thou bring'st me a letter of Octavio's, I'll double the sum. Vil. Sir, I'll do't-and will take care he shall write presently. [Aside. Don M. Now, as you expect I should believe you, be gone, and take no notice of what I have discover'd. I'll fetch him myself-she's in a rare cue, faith: ah! if he does but nick her now. [Exit. Ros. Now I have but one card to playif that don't hit, my hopes are crush'd indeed: if this young spark ben't a downright coxcomb, I may have a trick to turn all yet.-Dear fortune, give him but common sense, I'll make it impossible for him to like me-Here they [Walks carelessly, and sings. I come. Re-enter DON MANUEL, with HYPOLITA. Such native innocence she wears; As might the coldest stoic win. Hyp. Madam, I kiss your ladyship's hands; find by your gaiety, you are no stranger to Vil. Oh, I am dumb, dumb, dumb, sir. [Exit. have come in with a grave bow and a long my business; perhaps you expected I should Don M. So! this was done like a wise ge- speech; but my affair is in a little more haste; neral: and now I have taken the counterscarp, therefore, if you please, madam, we'll cut there may be some hopes of making the town the work' short, be thoroughly intimate at the capitulate.-Rosara! [Unlocks the Closet first sight, and see one another's humours in a quarter of an hour, as well as if we had been weary of them this twelvemonth. Ros. Troth, sir, I think you are very much the sooner in the right; the sooner I see you, Enter ROSARA. Ros. Did you call me, sir? what Don M. Ay, child: come, be cheerful; you so. I shall know whether I like you or not. Ros. He has certainly made some discovery: Hyp. Pshaw! as for that matter, you'll find Viletta did not cry out for nothing-What me a very fashionable husband. I shan't ex[Aside. pect my wife to be over fond of me. shall I do?-dissemble. Don M. In one word, set your heart at rest, for you shall marry don Philip this very evening. Ros. That's but short warning for the gentleman, as well as myself; for I don't know that we ever saw one another. How are you sure he will like me? Ros. But I love to be in the fashion too, sir, in taking the man I have a mind to. Hyp. Say you so? why then take me as soon as you please. 1) The old gentleman here puts himself in a fencing posture, lifting his stick, and lunging forward, saya. at every lunge: ça! ça! like a French fencing-master giving a lesson. Ros. I only stay for my mind, sir: as soon in the French city fashion, content to a degree. as ever that comes to me, upon my word I Now here in Spain, child, we have such am ready to wait upon you. things as back rooms, barred windows, hard Hyp. Well, madam, a quarter of an hour fare, poison, daggers, bolts, chains, and shall break no squares (1) Sir, if you'll find so forth. an occasion to leave us alone, I see we shall Ros. Ay, sir, and there are such things as come to a right understanding presently. bribes, plots, shams, letters, lies, walls, ladDon M. I'll do't, sir; well, child, speak, in ders, keys, confidants, and so forth. thy conscience, is not he a pretty fellow? Hyp. Hey! a very complete regiment inRos. The gentleman's very well, sir; but deed! what a world of service might these methinks he's a little too young for a husband. do in a quarter of an hour, with a woman's Don M. Young! a fiddle: you'll find him courage at the head of 'em! Really, madam, old enough for a wife, I warrant ye: sir, I your dress and humour have the prettiest loose must beg your pardon for a moment; but if French air, something so quality, that let me you please, in the mean time, I'll leave you die, madam, I believe in a month I should my daughter, and so pray make the best of be apt to poison ye. her. Hyp. I shall certainly do't. [Exit. Ros. So! it takes! [Aside] And let me die, Hyp. I thank ye, sir. [Hypolita stands sir, I believe I should be apt to deserve it of ye. some time mute, looks carelessly at Rosara, and smiles as in contempt] Why now methinks, madam, you had as good put on a real smile, for I am doom'd to be the happy k. man, you see. Ros. So my father says, sir. Hyp. I'll take his word. Ros. A bold man-but he'll break it. Hyp. Whether he will or no ? Ros. He must. Ros. He can't help it now. I Ros. It must be in my breakfast then-for should certainly run away before the wedding dinner came up. Hyp. That's over-acted, but I'll startle her. [Aside] Then I must tell you, madam, a Spanish husband may be provoked as well as a wife. As for your inclination, I'll keep your person honest, however; you shall be lock'd up, and if you don't love me then-I'll stab ye. [Carelessly. Ros. With what? Your words? it must | be those you say after the priest then - You'll Ros. Because he has promised you, you be able to do very little else that will reach shall marry me; and he has always promised me I should marry the man I could love. Hyp. Ay-that is, he would oblige you to love the man you should marry. Ros. The man that I marry will be sure of my love; but for the man that marries memercy on him. Hyp. How so, pray? my heart, I assure ye. Hyp. Come, come, this humour is as much affected as my own: I could no more bear the qualities you say you have, than I know you are guilty of 'em: your pretty arts, in striving to avoid, have charmed me. At my first view I wooed ye only to secure a sordid Hyp. No matter for that, I'll marry you. fortune, which now I, overjoy'd, could part Ros. Come, I don't believe you are so ill-with; nay, with life, with any thing, to purchase your unrivall'd heart. natur'd. Hyp. Why, dost thou not like me, child? Hyp. What's the matter? Ros. The old fault. Hyp. That's hard-the rest. Ros. That you won't like. Hyp. I'll stand it-try me. Ros. Now I am plunged indeed. [Aside] Well, sir, I own you have discovered me; and since you have obliged me to be serious, I now from my sincerity protest my heart's already given, from whence no power nor interest shall recall it. Hyp. I hate my interest, and would owe no power or title but to love. Ros. If, as you say, you think I find a charm in virtue, you'll know too there's a charm in constancy: you ought to scorn me, Ros. Why then, in short, I like another: should I flatter you with hope, since now another man, sir, has got into my head, and you are assured I must be false before I can made such work there, you'll never be able to be yours: if what I have said seems cold, or set me to rights as long as you live.-What too neglectful of your merit, call it not ind'ye think of me now, sir? Won't this serve gratitude or scorn, but faith unmoved, and for a reason why you should not marry me? justice to the man I love. Hyp. Um-the reason is a pretty smart sort Hyp. Well, madam, to let you see I am a of a reason truly, but it won't do-to be short with ye, madam, I have reason to believe I shall be disinherited if I don't marry you.. Ros. And what have you reason to believe you shall be if you do marry me? Hyp. In the Spanish fashion I suppose, jealous to a degree. Ros. You may be in the English fashion, and something else to a degree. Hyp. Oh! if I have not courage enough to prevent that, madam, let the world think me Make no disagreement. friend to love, though love's an enemy to me, give me but a seeming proof that Octavio is the undisputed master of your heart, and I'll forego the power your father's obligations give me, and throw my hopes into his arms with you. Ros. Sir, you confound me with this goodness. Command me to what proof you please; or if you'll trust to my sincerity, let these tears of joy convince you: here, on my knees, by all my hopes of peace I swear. Hyp. Hold-Swear never to make any other your husband but Octavio. Ros. I swear, and heaven befriend me as not ye give the poor girl a quarter of an I keep this vow inviolate. hour's warning? Hyp. My charmer! [Embraces her. Don M. Ah, my cares are over. Hyp. O! I told ye, sir-hearts and towns are never too strong for a surprise. Don M. Pr'ythee be quiet, I hate the sight Hyp. Rise, madam, and now receive a secret, which I need not charge you to be careful of, since as well your quiet as my own depends upon it. A little common prudence between us, in all probability, before night may make us happy in our separate of ye.. Rosara! come hither, you wicked thing, come hither, I say. wishes. Ros. What mean you, sir? sure you are some angel sent to my deliverance. Ros. I am glad to see you so well pleased, sir. Don M. Oh! I cannot live-I can't live; it Hyp. Truly, madam, I have been often told pours upon me like a torrent, I am as full as so: but, like most angels of my kind, there a bumper-it runs over at my eyes, I shall is a mortal man in the world, who I have a choke.-Answer me two questions, and kill great mind should know that I am-but a me outright. woman. Ros. A woman! Hyp. As arrant a woman from top to toe as ever a man ran mad for. Ros. Are not you don Philip? Hyp. His shadow, madam, no more: I just run before him- nay, and after him too. Octavio, madam, your lover, is my brother; my name Hypolita; my story you shall know at leisure. Ros. Any thing that will make you more pleased, sir. Don M. Are you positively resolved to marry this gentleman? Ros. Sir, I am convinced 'tis the first match that can make me happy. Don M. I am the miserablest dog aliveand I warrant you are willing to marry him to-morrow morning, if I should ask you? Ros. Sooner, sir, if you think it necessary. Don M. Oh! this malicious jade has a mind Ros. Hypolita! nay then, from what you have said, and what I have heard Octavio say to destroy me all at once-Ye cursed toad! of ye, I guess your story: but this was so how did you do to get in with her so? extravagant a thought! [To Hypolita. Ros. Come, sir, take heart, your joy won't Hyp. That's true, madam; it-it-it was a little round about indeed; I might have found be always so troublesome. a nearer way to don Philip: but these men are such tetchy things, they can never stay one's time; always in haste, just as they please; now we are to look kind, then grave; now soft, then sincere-so you see, there is such a plague, that I don't know-one does not care to be rid of them neither. Don M. You lie, hussy, I shall be plagued with it as long as I live. Ros. A very generous confession! Hyp. Well, madam, now you know me thoroughly, I hope you'll think me as fit for a husband as another woman. Ros. Then I must marry ye? Hyp. Ay, and speedily too; for I expect don Philip every moment; and if we don't look about us he will be apt to forbid the banns. Ros. If he comes, what shall we do? Hyp. I am provided for him-Here comes your father-he's secure. Come, put on a dumb consenting air, and leave the rest to me. Ros. Well! this getting the better of my wise won't be the least, part of my рара, satisfaction. Re-enter DON MANUEL. Don M. So, son! how does the battle go now? Ha'ye cannonaded stoutly? Does she cry quarter? Hyp. You must not live above two hours then. [Aside. Don M. I warrant this raking rogue will get her with child too-I shall have a young squab Spaniard upon my lap, that will so grandpapa me! Enter a Servant. Sero. Sir, here's a gentleman desires to speak with you; he says he comes from Seville. Don M. From Seville! ha! pr'ythee let him go thither again-Tell him I am a little busy about being overjoyed. Hyp. My life on't, sir, this must be the fellow that my servant told you of, employed by Octavio. Don M. Very likely. Re-enter TRAPPANTI. Don M. Ay, this fellow has a good merry Hyp. My dear father, let me embrace you -my life's too poor to make you a return.-ready to cry? You have given me an empire, sir, I would Trap. Cry, sir! for what? not change to be grand seignior. Don M. Do you know, puppy, that I am Don M. Ah, rogue! he has done it; he has done it! he has her! ha! is't not so, my little champion? Hyp. Victoria, sir, the town's my own. Look here! and here, sir! thus have I been plundering this half hour; and thus, and thus, and thus, till my lips ache again. [Kisses her. Don M. Ah! give me the great chair— can't bear my joy.-You rampant rogue, could I Don M. Joy! joy! you whelp! my cares are over; madam's to marry your master, sirrah; and I am as wet with joy as if I had been thrown into a sea of good luck-Why don't you cry, dog? Trap. Uh! well, sir, I do-But now if you Don M. Slylooks! what, the bamboozler? | Don M. Impudent rogue! the freedom of ha, ha! my house! yes, that he may be always at Trap. He, sir, he. hand to secure the main chance for my friend Don M. I'm glad of it, faith-now I shall Octavio:-But now I'll have a touch of the have a little diversion to moderate my joy-bamboozle with him. [Aside]-Look ye, sir, I'll wait on the gentleman myself; don't you while I see nothing to contradict what you be out of the way, son, I'll be with ye pre-say you are, d'ye see, you shall find me a sently.-O my jaws! this fit will carry me off. gentleman. Ye dear toad, good by. [Exit, with Trappanti. Hyp. Ha, ha, ha! the old gentleman's as merry as a fiddle; how he'll start when a string snaps in the middle of his tune! Ros. At least we shall make him change it, I believe. Hyp. That we shall; and here comes one that's to play upon him. Enter FLORA, hastily. Don P. So my father told me, sir. Don M. But then, on the other hand, d'ye see, a man's honesty is not always written in his face; and (begging your pardon) if you should prove a damned rogue now, d'ye see. Don P. Sir, I can't in reason take any thing ill that proceeds only from your caution. Don M. Civil rascal. [Aside] No, no, as you say, I hope you wont take it ill neither; for how do I know, you know, but what you tell me (begging your pardon again, sir), may be all a lie? Flora. Don Philip! where are ye? I must needs speak with ye. Begging your ladyship's pardon, madam. [Whispers Hypolita] Stand Don P. Another man indeed might say the to your arms, the enemy's at the gate faith. same to you: but I shall take it kindly, sir, But I've just thought of a sure card to win if you suppose me a villain no oftener than the lady into our party. Ros. Who can this youth be she's SO familiar with? Hyp. I like your advice so well, that to tell ye the truth, I have made bold to take it before you gave it me. Come, I'll introduce ye. [To Flora. Flora. Then the business is done. Hyp. Madam, if your ladyship pleases. [To Rosara. Ros. Is this gentleman your friend, sir? Hyp. This friend, madam, is my gentlewoman, at your service. Rus. Gentlewoman! what, are we all going into breeches then? Flora. That used to be my post, madam, when I wore a needle: but now I have got a sword by my side, I shall be proud to be your ladyship's humble servant. Ros. Troth I think it's a pity you should either of you ever part with your swords: I never saw a prettier couple of adroit cavaliers in my life.-Come, ladies-gentlemen, I beg your pardon. [Exeunt. ACT IV. you have occasion to suspect me. Don M. Sir, you speak like a man of honour, 'tis confessed; but (begging your pardon again, sir) so may a rascal too sometimes. Don P. But a man of honour, sir, can never speak like a rascal. Don M. Why then, with your honour's leave, sir, is there nobody here in Madrid that knows you? Don P. Sir, I never saw Madrid till within these two hours, though there is a gentleman in town that knew me intimately at Seville; I met him by accident at the inn where I alighted; he's known here; if it will give you any present satisfaction, I believe I could easily produce him to vouch for me. Don M. At the inn, say ye, did you meet this gentleman? What's his name pray? Don P. Octavio Cruzado. Don M. Ha! my bully confessor: this agrees word for word with honest Trappanti's intelligence. [Aside] Well, sir, and pray what does he give you for this job? Don P. Job, sir? Don M. Ay, that is, do you undertake it out of good fellowship? or are you to have a sort of fellow-feeling in the matter? SCENE I.-The same. Don P. Sir, if you believe me to be the Enter DoN MANUEL and DON PHILIP. son of don Fernando, I must tell ye your Don M. Well, sir! and so you were robbed manner of receiving me is what you ought of your portmanteau, you say, at Toledo, in not to suppose can please him, or I can thank which were all your letters and writings res you for. If you think me an impostor, I'll lating to your marriage with my daugh ease you of the trouble of suspecting me, and and that's the reason you are come without 'em? leave your house till I can bring better proofs Don P. Sir, I was not robbed of the regard who I am. owe my father's friend: that, sir, I have Don M. Do so, friend; and in the mean brought with me, and 'twould have been ill time, d'e see, pray give my humble service manners not to have paid it on my first arrival. to the politician, and tell him that to your Don M. Ah! how smooth the spark is! certain knowledge, the old fellow, the old [Aside] Well, sir, I am pretty considerably rogue, and the old put, d'ye see, knows how glad to see you: but I hope you'll excuse me, to bamboozle as well as himself. I if in a matter of this consequence, I seem a Don P. Politician, and bamboozle! Pray, sir, let me understand you, that I may know little cautious. Don P. Sir, I shan't propose any immediate how to answer you. progress in my affair till you receive fresh Don M. Come, come, don't be discouraged, advice from my father; in the mean time, I friend-sometimes, you know, the strongest shall think myself obliged by the bare freedom wits must fail; you have an admirable head, of your house, and such entertainment as you'd 'tis confess'd, with as able a face to it as ever at least afford a common stranger. Istuck opon two shoulders; but who the devil |