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Pat. I beg, my lord, you will suffer me to Giles. If his lordship's honour would be so be gone: only believe me sensible of all your kind, I would acknowledge the favour as far favours, though unworthy of the smallest. as in me lay. Lord A. How unworthy?-You merit every Sir H. Let me speak-[Takes Lord Aimthing; my respect, my esteem, my friendship, worth aside] a word or two in your lordand my love!-Yes, I repeat, I avow it: your ship's ear.


beauty, your modesty, your understanding, has Theo. Well, I do like this gipsy scheme made a conquest of my heart. But what a prodigiously, if we can but put it into execuworld do we live in! that while I own this, tion as happily as we have contrived it. while I own a passion for founded on the justest, the noblest basis, I must at the Re-enter PAtty. same time confess the fear of that world, its So, my dear Patty, you see I am come to taunts, its reproaches, return your visit very soon; but this is only Put. Ah, sir, think better of the creature a call en passant-will you be at home after you have raised, than to suppose I ever en- dinner? tertained a hope tending to your dishonour: would that be a return for the favours I have received? I am unfortunate, my lord, but not criminal.

Lord A. Patty, we are both unfortunate: for my own part, I know not what to say to you, or what to propose to myself.


Pat. Certainly, madam, whenever you condescend to honour me so far: but it is what cannot expect.

Theo. O fie, why not

Giles. Your servant, miss Patty.
Pat. Farmer, your servant.

Sir H. Here, you goodman delver, I have Pat. Then, my lord, 'tis mine to act as I done your business; my lord has spoke, and ought; yet while I am honoured with a place your fortune's made: a thousand pounds at in your esteem, imagine me not insensible of present, and better things to come; his lordso high a distinction, or capable of lightly turn-ship says he will be your friend. ing my thoughts towards another.

Giles. I do hope, then, miss Pat will make

Lord A. How cruel is my situation!-I am all up. here, Patty, to command you to marry the Sir H. Miss Pat, make up; stand out of the man who has given you so much uneasiness. way, I'll make it up. Pat. My lord, I am convinced it is for your credit and my safety it should be so: I hope QUINTETTO.-SIR HARRY SYCAMORE, LORD I have not so ill profited by the lessons of AIMworth, Patty, GILES, and THEODOSIA. your noble mother, but I shall be able to do Sir H. The quarrels of lovers, adds me! my duty, wherever I am called to it: this will they're a jest; be my first support; time and reflection will complete the work.


Cease, oh, cease to overwhelm me

With excess of bounty rare;
What am I? What have I?, tell me,
To deserve your meanest care?
'Gainst our fate in vain's resistance,
Let me then no grief disclose;
But, resign'd at humble distance,
Offer vows for your repose.

Come hither, ye blockhead, come


So now let us leave them together

Lord A. Farewell, then!




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poor fellow went to show me the canal? Sir H. Hold your tongue, miss. I don't know any business you had to let him come near you at all: we have stayed so long too: your mamma gave us but half an hour, and she'll be frightened out of her wits-she'll think some accident has happened to me.

Lord A.




For ever!

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Sir H. Why, miss, will you mind when
you're spoke to, or not?
Must I stand in waiting,
While you're here a prating?

Lord A.


May ev'ry felicity fall to your kt

She court'sies!-Look there,
What a shape, what an air!-
How happy! how wretched! bow
tir'd am I!

Your lordship's obedient; your ser
vant; good by.

Lord A. I'll wait upon you when you please. SCENE I.-The Sir H. O! but, my lord, here's a poor fellow; it seems his mistress has conceived some





disgust against him; pray has her father spoke Enter LORD AIMWORTH, SIR HARRI, ond

to you to interpose your authority in his behalf?

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wretch! coming of such a race as mine; and of horses in all England (but that he did only having an example like me before her! now and then for his amusement)-And he Lord A. I beg, madam, you will not disquiet used to say, my lord, that the female sex were yourself: you are told here, that a gentleman good for nothing but to bring forth children, lately arrived from London has been about and breed disturbances.


the place to-day; that he has disguised him- Lord A. The ladies were very little obliged self like a gipsy, came hither, and had some to your ancestor, sir Harry: but for my part, conversation with your daughter; you are have a more favourable opinioneven told, that there is a design formed for Lady S. [Within] Sir Harry! Sir Harry! their going off together; but possibly there Sir H. You are in the wrong, my lord: may be some mistake in all this. with submission, you are really in the wrong. [Exit.

Sir H. Ay but, my lord, the lad tells us the gentleman's name: we have seen the gipsies; and we know she has had a hankering

Lady S. Sir Harry, my dear, why will you

Enter FAIRfield.

Lord A. How now, master Fairfield, what

put in your word, when you hear others brings you here?

speaking I protest, my lord, I'm in such con- Fair. I am come, my lord, to thank you fusion, I know not what to say: I can hardly for your bounty to me and my daughter this support myself.

Lord A. This gentleman, it seems, is at a little inn at the bottom of the hill.

Sir H. I wish it was possible to have a file of musketeers, my lord; I could head them myself, being in the militia; and we would go and seize him directly.

morning, and most humbly to entreat your lordship to receive it at our hands again.

Lord A. Ay-why, what's the matter? Fair. I don't know, my lord: it seems your generosity to my poor girl has been noised about the neighbourhood; and some evil-minded people have put it into the young man's head Lord A. Softly, my dear sir; let us proceed that was to marry her, that you never would with a little less violence in this matter, I be- have made her a present so much above her seech you. We should first see the young deserts and expectations, if it had not been lady-Where is miss Sycamore, madam? upon some naughty account: now, my lord, Lady S. Really, my lord, I don't know; II am a poor man 'tis true, and a mean one; saw her go into the garden about a quarter but I and my father, and my father's father, of an hour ago, from our chamber window. have lived tenants upon your lordship's estate, Sir H. Into the garden! perhaps she has got where we have always been known for honest an inkling of our being informed of this affair, men; and it shall never be said, that Fairfield, and is gone to throw herself into the pond. the miller, became rich in his old days, by the Despair, my lord, makes girls do terrible things. wages of his child's shame.

'Twas but the Wednesday before we left Lon- Lord A. What then, master Fairfield, do don, that I saw, taken out of Rosamond's-you believe

pond, in St. James's Park, as likely a young Fair. No, my lord, no, heaven forbid: but woman as ever you would desire to set your when I consider the sum, it is too much for eyes on, in a new callimancoe petticoat, and us; it is indeed, my lord, and enough to make a pair of silver buckles in her shoes.

Lord A. I hope there is no danger of any such fatal accident happening at present; but will you oblige me, sir Harry?

Sir H. Surely, my lord

Lord A. Will you commit the whole direction of this affair to my prudence?

Sir H. My dear, you hear what his lordship

bad folks talk: besides, my poor girl is greatly alter'd; she us'd to be the life of every place she came into; but since her being at home, I have seen nothing from her but sadness and watery eyes.

Lord A. The farmer then refuses to marry Patty, notwithstanding their late reconciliation? Fuir. Yes, my lord, he does indeed; and has made a wicked noise, and used us in a Lady S. Indeed, my lord, I am so much very base manner: I did not think farmer asham'd, I don't know what to answer; the Giles would have been so ready to believe fault of my daughtersuch a thing of us.


Lord A. Don't mention it, madam; the fault Lord A. Well, master Fairfield, I will not has been mine, who have been innocently the press on you a donation, the rejection of which occasion of a young lady's transgressing a does you so much credit; you may take my point of duty and decorum, which otherwise word, however, that your fears upon this ocshe would never have violated. But if you, casion are entirely groundless: but this is not and sir Harry, will walk in and repose your-enough; as I have been the means of losing selves, I hope to settle every thing to the ge- your daughter one husband, it is but just I neral satisfaction.

Lady S. Come in, sir Harry.

should get her another; and, since the farmer [Exit. is so scrupulous, there is a young man in the Lord A. I am sure, my good friend, had house here, whom I have some influence over, known that I was doing a violence to miss and I dare say he will be less squeamish. Sycamore's inclinations, in the happiness I Fair. To be sure, my lord, you have, in all honest ways, a right to dispose of me and

roposed to myself

Sir H. My lord, 'tis all a case-My grand-mine as you think proper. ather, by the mother's side, was a very sen- Lord A. Go then immediately, and bring ible man-he was elected knight of the shire Patty hither; I shall not be easy till I have n five successive parliaments, and died high given you entire satisfaction. But, stay and heriff of his county-a man of fine parts, fine take a letter, which I am stepping into my alents, and one of the most curiousest docker study to write: I'll order a chaise to be got

ready, that you may go back and forward pretending you were struck blind by thunder with greater expedition. [Exit Fairfield. and lightning.


Let me fly-hence, tyrant fashion!
Teach to servile minds your law;
Curb in them each gen'rous passion,
Ev'ry motion keep in awe.
Shall I, in thy trammels going,
Quit the idol of my heart;
While it beats, all fervent, glowing?
With my life I'll sooner part.

SCENE II.-A Village.

Enter RALPH, FANNY following. Fan. Ralph, Ralph!

Ralph. What do you want with me, eh? Fan. Lord, I never knowed such a man as you are, since I com'd into the world; a body can't speak to you, but you falls straightways into a passion: I followed you up from the house, only you run so, there was no such a thing as overtaking you, and I have been waiting there at the back door ever so long.

Fan. Pray don't be angry, Ralph.

Ralph. Yes, but I will though: spread your cobwebs to catch flies; I am an old wasp, and don't value them a button.

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But if one you meet that's frow-ard,
Saucy, jilting, and untow-ard,
Should you act the whining coward,

'Tis to mend her ne'er the wit:
Nothing's tough enough to bind her;
Then agog when once you find her,
Let her go and never mind her;


Ralph. Well, and now you may go and Heart alive, you're fairly quit. wait at the fore door, if you like it: but I fore- Fan. I wish I had a draught of water. I warn you and your gang not to keep lurk- don't know what's come over me; I have no ing about our mill any longer; for if you do, more strength than a babe: a straw would I'll send the constable after you, and have fling me down.-He has a heart as hard as you, every mother's skin, clapt into the county any parish officer; I don't doubt now but be gaol: you are such a pack of thieves, one can't would stand by and see me whipt himself; hang so much as a rag to dry for you: it was and we shall all be whipt, and all through my but the other day that a couple of them came means—' -The devil run away with the gentleinto our kitchen to beg a handful of dirty flour, man, and his twenty guineas too, for leading to make them cakes, and before the wench me astray: if I had known Ralph would bare could turn about, they had whipped off three taken it so, I would have hanged myself bebrass candlesticks and a pot-lid. fore I would have said a word-but I thought he had no more gall than a pigeon.

Fan. Well, sure it was not I.

Ralph. Then you know, that old rascal that you call father, the last time I catch'd him laying snares for the hares, I told him I'd inform the gamekeeper, and I'll expose all

Fan. Ah, dear Ralph, don't be angry with


Ralph. Yes, I will be angry with you-what do you come nigh me for?-You shan't touch me-There's the skirt of my coat, and if you do but lay a finger on it, my lord's bailiff is here in the court, and I'll call him and give you to him.

Fan. If you'll forgive me, I'll my knees.


O! what a simpleton was I,

To make my bed at such a rate! Now lay thee down, vain fool, and cry, Thy truelove secks another mate.

No tears, alack,

Will call him back,

No tender words his heart allure;
I could bite

My tongue through spite-
Some plague bewitch'd me, that's for sure.


Enter GILES, followed by PATTY and


down on go Ralph.. I tell you I won't-No, no, follow your gentleman; or go live upon your old fare, crows and polecats, and sheep that die of the rot; pick the dead fowl off the dung- Giles. Why, what the plague's the matter hills, and quench your thirst at the next ditch, with you? What do you scold at me for? I 'tis the fittest liquor to wash down such dain- am sure I did not say an uncivil word as I ties-skulking about from barn to barn, and do know of: I'll be judged by the young lady lying upon wet straw, on commons, and in if I did.

green lanes-go and be whipt from parish to Pat. 'Tis very well, farmer; all I desire is, parish, as you used to be. that you will leave the house: you see my Fan. How can you talk so unkind? father is not at home at present; when he is, Ralph. And see whether you will get what if you have any thing to say, you know where will keep you as I did, by telling of fortunes, to come.

and coming with pillows under your apron, Giles. Enough said; I don't want to stay among the young farmers wives, to make be- in the house, not I; and I don't much care lieve you are a breeding, with the Lord Al-if I had never come into it.

mighty bless you, sweet mistress, you cannot Theo. For shame, farmer! Down on your tell how soon it may be your own case. You knees, and beg miss Fairfield's pardon for the know I am acquainted with all your tricks-outrage you have been guilty of and how you turn up the whites of your eyes, Giles. Beg pardon, miss, for what?—Icod,

that's well enough; why I am my own master, and equip myself-All here is in such conben't I?-If I have no mind to marry, there's fusion, there will no notice be taken. no harm in that, I hope: 'tis only changing Mer. Do so; I'll take care nobody shall inhands. This morning she would not have me, terrupt you in the progress of your metamorand now I won't have she. phosis [She goes in]-and if you are not Pat. Have you!-Heavens and earth! I tedious, we may walk off without being seen would prefer a state of beggary a thousand by any one. times beyond any thing I could enjoy with Theo. [Within] Ha, ha, ha!-What a conyou and be assured, if ever I was seemingly course of atoms are here! though, as I live, consenting to such a sacrifice, nothing should they are a great deal better than I expected. have compelled me to it but the cruelty of my Mer. Well, pray make haste; and don't imagine yourself at your toilette now, where mode prescribes two hours for what reason would scarce allow three minutes.


Giles. O, as for that I believes you; but you see the gudgeon would not bite, as I told you a bit agone, you know: we farmers never Theo. Have patience; the outward garment love to reap what we don't sow. is on already; and I'll assure you a very good Pat. You brutish fellow, how dare you talk-stuff, only a little the worse for the mending. Giles. So, now she's in her tantrums agin, Mer. Imagine it embroidery, and consider and all for no manner of yearthly thing. it is your wedding-suit.-Come, how far have Pat. But be assured my lord will punish you got? you severely for daring to make free with his


Giles. Who made free with it? Did I ever mention my lord? 'Tis a cursed lie.

Theo. Bless me, farmer!

Giles. Why it is, miss-and I'll make her prove her words-Then what does she mean by being punished? I am not afraid of nobody, nor beholding to nobody, that I know of; while I pays my rent, my money, I believe, is as good as another's: 1) 'egad, if it goes there, I think there be those deserve to be punished more than I.

Pat. Was there ever so unfortunate a creature, pursued as I am by distresses and vexations?

Theo. My dear Patty-See, farmer, you have thrown her into tears.

Giles. Why then let her cry.
Theo. Pray be comforted.


Oh leave me, in pity! The falsehood I scorn;
For slander the bosom untainted defies:
But rudeness and insult are not to be borne,
Though offer'd by wretches we've sense to
despise. [Exit Theodosia.
Of woman defenceless how cruel the fate!
Pass ever so cautious, so blameless her way,
Ill nature and envy lurk always in wait,
And innocence falls to their fury a prey.

Re-enter THEODOSIA, with Mervin. Theo. You are a preity gentleman, are not you, to suffer a lady to be at a rendezvous before you?

Mer. Difficulties, my dear, and dangersNone of the company had two suits of apparel; so I was obliged to purchase a rag of one, and a tatter from another, at the expense of ten times the sum they would fetch at the paper-mill.

Theo. Stay; you don't consider there's some contrivance necessary.-Here goes the apron, flounced and furbelow'd with a witness-Alas! alas! it has no strings! what shall I do? Come, no matter; a couple of pins will serve - And now the cap-oh, mercy! here's a hole in the crown of it large enough to thrust my head through.

Mer. That you'll hide with your straw hat; or if you should not-What, not ready yet? Theo. One minute more-Yes, now the work's accomplish'd.

[She comes out of the Closet disguised.

Re-enter GILES, with FAIRFIELD.
Mer. Plague, here's somebody coming.

[Retires with Theodosia. Fair. As to the past, farmer, 'tis past; I bear no malice for any thing thou hast said. Giles. Why, master Fairfield, you do know I bad a great regard for miss Patty; but when I came to consider all in all, I finds as how it is not advisable to change my condition yet awhile.

Fair. Friend Giles, thou art in the right; marriage is a serious point, and can't be considered too warily.-Ha, who have we here? -Shall I never keep my house clear of these vermin?-Look to the goods there, and give me a horsewhip-by the lord Harry, I'll make. an example-Come here, lady Lightfingers, let me see what thou hast stolen.

Mer. Hold, miller, hold!

Fair. O gracious goodness! sure I know this face-miss- -young madam SycamoreMercy heart, here's a disguise!

Theo. Discover'd!

Mer. Miller, let me speak to you.
Theo. What ill fortune is this!

Giles. I fortune-miss! I think there be

nothing but crosses and misfortunes of one kind or other.

Fair. Money to me, sir! not for the world; Theo. Well, where are they? you want no friends but what you have alMer. Here, in this bundle and though I ready-Lack-a-day, lack-a-day, see how luckily say it, a very decent habiliment, if you have I came in; I believe you are the gentleman to art enough to stick the parts together: I've whom I am charged to give this, on the part been watching till the coast was clear to bring of my lord Aimworth-Bless you, dear sir,

them to you.

Theo. Let me see- -I'll slip into this

1) Symptoms of English liberty.

go up to his honour with my young ladycloset there is a chaise waiting at the door to carry you-I and my daughter will take another




Mer. Pr'ythee read this letter, and tell me what you think of it.

Fair. My lord, I am very well content; pray do not give yourself the trouble of say

Theo. Heavens, 'tis a letter from lord Aim-ing any more. worth! We are betrayed.

Ralph. No, my lord, you need not say

any more.

Fair. Hold your tongue, sirrab.

Lord A. I am sorry, Patty, you have had this mortification.

Pat. I am sorry, my lord, you have been

Mer. By what means I know not. Theo. I am so frighted and flurried, that I have scarce strength enough to read it. [Reads. Sir, It is with the greatest concern I find that I have been unhappily the occasion of giving some uneasiness to you and troubled about it. Fair. Well, come, children, we will not miss Sycamore: be assur'd, had I been apprised of your prior pretensions, and the take up his honour's time any longer; let us young lady's disposition in your favour, I be going towards home-Heaven prosper your should have been the last person to inter- lordship; the prayers of me and my family rupt your felicity. I beg, sir, you will do shall always attend you.

Lord A. Miller, come back-Patty, stay-
Fair. Has your lordship any thing further

me the favour to come up to my house, where I have already so far settled matters, as to be able to assure you, that every to command us? thing will go entirely to your satisfaction. Mer. Well, what do you think of it?-a word or two still to say to you-In short, Shall we go to the castle?

Theo. By all means: and in this very trim; to show what we are capable of doing, if my father and mother had not come to reason.

Lord A. Why yes, master Fairfield, I have

though you are satisfied in this affair, I am not; and you seem to forget the promise I made you, that, since I had been the means of losing your daughter one husband, I would find her another.

[Exeunt Mervin and Theodosia, Fair. Your bonour is to do as you please Giles. So, there goes a couple! Icod, I beLord A. What say you, Patty, will you lieve old Nick has got among the people in these parts. This is as queer a thing as ever accept of a husband of my choosing? I heard of.-Master Fairfield and miss Patty, Pat. My lord, I have no determination; it seems, are gone to the castle too; where, you are the best judge how I ought to act; by what I larns from Ralph in the mill, my whatever you command, I shall obey. Lord A. Then, Palty, there is but one per the servants. Now set in case the wind sets son I can offer you-and I wish, for you: in that corner, I have been thinking with my-sake, he was more deserving-Take me— self who the plague it can be: there are no unmarried men in the family, that I do know

lord has promised to get her a husband among

Pat. Sir!

Lord A. From this moment our interes! of, excepting little Bob, the postillion, and are one, as our hearts; and no earthly power master Jonathan, the butler, and he's a mat-shall ever divide us.

ter of sixty or seventy years old. I'll be shot

Fair. O the gracious! Patty-my lordif it beant little Bob.-Icod, I'll take the way Did I hear right?—You, sir, you marry a to the castle as well as the rest; for I'd fain child of mine! see how the nail do drive. It is well I had wit enough to discern things, and a friend to advise with, or else she would have fallen to my lot. But I have got a surfeit of going a courting; and burn me if I won't live a bachelor; for when all comes to all, I see nothing but ill blood and quarrels among folk that are maaried.


Then hey for a frolicsome life!
I'll ramble where pleasures are rife;
Strike up with the free-hearted lasses,
And never think more of a wife.

Plague on it, men are but asses,

To run after noise and strife,
Had we been together buckl'd;

'Twould have prov'd a fine affair:
Dogs would have bark'd at the cuckold;
And boys, pointing, cry'd-Look there!

Lord A. Yes, my honest old man, in me you behold the husband designed for your daughter; and I am happy, that by standing in the place of fortune, who has alone been wanting to her, I shall he able to set her merit in a light where its lustre will be rendered conspicuous.

Fair. But good, noble sir, pray consider, don't go to put upon1) a silly old man: my daughter is unworthy-Patty, child, why don't you speak?

Pal. What can I say, father? what an swer to such unlook'd-for, such unmerited, such unbounded generosity?

Ralph. Down on your knees, and fall a crying.

[Ralph is checked by Fairfield, and they

go up the Stage.

Pat. Yes, sir, as my father says, consider [Exit-your noble friends, your relations-It must not, cannot be

Lord A. It must and shall-Friends! relaSCENE IV. A grand Apartment in LORD AIMWORTH'S House, opening to a View tions! from henceforth I have none, that will of the Garden. Enter LORD AIMWORTH, FAIRFIELD, PATTY,

and RALPH.

Lord A. Thus, master Fairfield, I hope I have fully satisfied you with regard to the falsity of the imputation thrown upon your daughter and me

not acknowledge you; and I am sure, when they become acquainted with your perfections, they will rather admire the justice of my choice, than wonder at its singularity.

DUETT.-LORD AIMWORTH and PATTY. Lord A. My life, my joy, my blessing, 1) To take advantage, to deceive.

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