SNAKE. Before I go, I beg pardon once for all, for whatever uneasiness I have been the humble instrument of causing to the parties present. SIR PET. Well, well, you have made atonement by a good deed at last. SNAKE. But I must request of the company, that it shall never be known. SIR PET. Hey! what the plague! are you ashamed of having done a right thing once in your life? SNAKE. Ah, sir, consider-I live by the badness of my character; and, if it were once known that I had been betrayed into an honest action, I should lose every friend I have in the world. SIR OLIV. Well, well-we'll not traduce you by saying any thing in your praise, never fear. [Exit SNAKE. SIR PET. There's a precious rogue! LADY TEAZ. See, Sir Oliver, there needs no persuasion now to reconcile your nephew and Maria. SIR OLIV. Ay, ay, that's as it should be, and, egad, we'll have the wedding to-morrow morning. CHAS. SURF. Thank you, dear uncle. SIR PET. What, you rogue! don't you ask the girl's consent first? CHAS. SURF. Oh, I have done that a long time—a minute ago and she has looked yes. MAR. For shame, Charles !-I protest, Sir Peter, there has not been a word SIR OLIV. Well, then, the fewer the better; may your love for each other never know abatement. SIR PET. And may you live as happily together as Lady Teazle and I intend to do! CHAS. SURF. Rowley, my old friend, I am sure you congratulate me; and I suspect that I owe you much. SIR OLIV. You do, indeed, Charles. SIR PET. Ay, honest Rowley always said you would reform. CHAS. SURF. Why, as to reforming, Sir Peter, I'll make no promises, and that I take to be a proof that I intend to set about it. But here shall be my monitor-my gentle guide.Ah! can I leave the virtuous path those eyes illumine? HC XVIII-G Though thou, dear maid, shouldst waive thy beauty's sway, You can, indeed, each anxious fear remove, [To the Audience. [Exeunt omnes. EPILOGUE BY MR. COLMAN SPOKEN BY LADY TEAZLE I, who was late so volatile and gay, Like a trade-wind must now blow all one way, Like me untimely blasted in her bloom, Like me condemn'd to such a dismal doom? Must I then watch the early crowing cock, The melancholy ticking of a clock; In a lone rustic hall for ever pounded, With dogs, cats, rats, and squalling brats surrounded With humble curate can I now retire, (While good Sir Peter boozes with the squire) And at backgammon mortify my soul, That pants for loo, or flutters at a vole? Seven's the main! Dear sound that must expire, The transient hour of fashion too soon spent, Pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious town! And Lady Teazle's occupation 's o'er! All this I told our bard; he smiled, and said 'twas clear, I ought to play deep tragedy next year. Meanwhile he drew wise morals from his play, And in these solemn periods stalked away: "Blessed were the fair like you; her faults who stopped And closed her follies when the curtain dropped! No more in vice or error to engage, Or play the fool at large on life's great stage.” |