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Lydia. Here, my dear Lucy, hide these fore marriage as if he'd been a black-a-moor books. Quick, quick-Fling “Peregrine Pickle" -and yet, miss, you are sensible what a wife under the toilet — throw "Roderick Random" I made !-and when it pleased Heaven 10 reinto the close---put “The innocent Adultery" lease me from him, 'tis unknown what tears into “The Whole Duty of Man"-thrust "Lord I shed !-But suppose we were going to give Aimworth" under the sofa-cram “Ovid” be- you another choice, will you promise us to hind the bolster - there - put “The Man of give up this Beverley? Feeling” into your pocket-so, so-now lay Lydia. Could I belie my thoughts so far "Mrs. Chapone” ?) in sight, and leave “For- as to give that promise, my, actions would dyce's Sermons” open on the table.

certainly as far belie my words. Lucy. O burn it, ma'am, the hairdresser Mrs. Mal. Take yourself to your room.bas torn away as far as "Proper Pride.” You are fit company for nothing but your

Lydia. Never mind-open at “Sobriety."— own ill-humours. Fling me “Lord Chesterfield's Letters."-Now Lydia. Willingly, ma'am-I cannot change for 'em.

for the worse.

[Exit Lydia.

Mrs. Mal. There's a little intricate bussy Enter Mrs. MALAPROP and Sir ANTHONY for you! ABSOLUTE.

Sir Anth. It is not to be wondered at, Mrs. Mal. There, Sir Anthony, there sits ma'am,-all this is the natural consequence of the deliberate simpleton, who wants to dis- teaching girls to read. Had I a thousand grace her family, and lavish 2) herself on a daughters, by heaven! I'd as soon have them fellow not worth a shilling:

taught the black art as their alphabet! Lydia. Madam, I thought you once- Mrs. Mal. Nay, nay, Sir Anthony, you are

Mrs. Mol. You thought, miss! I don't know an absolute misanthropy, ?); any business you have to think at all-thought Sir Anth. In my way hither, Mrs. Malaprop, does not become a young woman. But the I observed your niece's maid coming forth point we would request of you is, that you from a circulating library! She had a book will promise to forget this fellow - to illite- in each hand-they were half-bound volumes, rate 3) him, I say, quite from your memory. with marble covers! - From that moment i

Lydia. Ah, madam! our memories are in- guessed how full of duty I should see her dependent of our wills. It is not so easy to mistress! forget.

Mrs. Mal. Those are vile places, indeed! Mrs. Mal. But I say it is, miss; there is Sir Anth. Madam, a circulating library in nothing on earth so easy as' to forget, if a a town is, as an evergreen tree of diabolical person chooses to set about it. I'm sure I knowledge! It blossoms through the year!have as much forgot your poor dear uncle, as And depend on it, Mrs. Malaprop, that they if he had never existed--and I thought it my who are sa fond of handling the leaves, will duty so to do; and let me tell you, Lydia, iong for the fruit at last. these violent memories don't become a young Mrs. Mal. Fie, fie, Sir Anthony, you surely

speak laconically?). Sir Anth. Why sure she won't pretend to Sir Anth. Whý, Mrs. Malaprop, in moderemember what she's ordered not! -ay, this ration, now, what would you have a woman comes of her reading!

know? Lydia. What crime, madam, have I com- Mrs. Mal. Observe me, Sir Anthony. -1 mitted, to be treated thus?

would by no means wish a daughter of mine Mrs. Mal. Now don't attempt to extirpate 4); to be a progeny 3), of learning; 'I don't think yourself from the matter; you know I have so much' learning becomes a young woman; proof controvertible 5) of it. But tell me, will for instance, I would never let her meddle you promise to do as you're bid? Will you with Greek, or Hebrew, or Algebra, iake a husband of your friend's choosing ? mony, or Flusions, or Paradoxes, or such in

Lydia. Madam, I must tell you plainly, that flammatory branches of learning-neither would had I no preferer.ce for any one else, the it be necessary for her to handle any of your choicc

you have made would be my aversion. mathematical, astronomical, diabolical instru: Mrs. Mal. What business have you, miss, ments *): -- But, Sir Anthony, I would send with preference and aversion? They don't her, at nine years old, to a boarding-school, become a young woman; and you ought to in order to learn a little ingenuity 5) and artiknow, that as both always wear off

, 'tis safest fice. Then, sir, she should have a supercilious ) in matrimony to begin with a little aversion. knowledge in accounts;--and as she grew up, I am sure I hated your poor dear uncle be- I would have her instructed in geometry - ), 1) These books are introduced in such a manner, that

that she might know something of the conthey produce either a very whimsical contrast, or an tagious 8) countries; -- but above all, Sir Anapiness of allusion; for instance, Peregrine Pickle, as Indy's man, can have no better place then the toilet; that she might not mis-spell, and mispronounce

thony, she should be mistress of orthodoxy), closed the innocent Adultery is not the most proper words so shamefully as girls usually do; and thing in the whole duly of man: Lord Aim worth (see likewise that she might reprehend 10), the true alliance Ovid is to attend the dreams of ille love-meaning of what she is saying. This, Sir sick maid; and the Man of Feeling is to direct our Anthony, is what I would bave a woman charities. Mrs. Chaponc has written advice to young know; and I don't think there is a superwomen upon marriage, etc.

woman.

or Si

stitious 11) article in it. :) Now for Mrs. Malaprop's "words so ingeniously misapplied, without being mispronounced." We can be

1) Misanthropist. ») Trowically. á, Prodigy. 4) Here lavish of any thing, but we must throw away ourselves.

the old lady is completely out of her depib. 5). In de

nuousness. 6) Superficial. 7) Geography. '!) Ceutigrisse 3) Obliterale. 4) Extricate. 5) Incontrovertible. 9) Orthography. 10) Comprehend.

11) Superfuem

Sir Anth. Well, well, Mrs. Malaprop, I will mind, Lucy - if ever you betray what you dispute the point no further with you; though are intrusted with (unless it be other people's I must confess, that you are a truly moderate secrets to me), you forfeit my malevolence?) and polite arguer, for almost every third word for ever; and your being a simpleton shall you say is on my side of the question. But, be no excuse for your locality ?). Mrs. Malaprop, to the more important point

[Eri Mrs. Mal. in debate, — you say, you have no objection Lucy. Ha! ha! ha!-So, my dear simplito my proposal.

cily, let me give you a little respite-[alterMrs. Mal. None, I assure you. I am under ing her manner] - let girls in my station no positive engagement with Mr. Acres, and be as fond as they please of appearing expert, as Lydia is so obstinale against him, perhaps and knowing in their trusts; commend me to your son may have better success.

a mask of silliness, and a pair of sharp eyes Sir Anth. Well, madam, I will write for for my own interest under it!-Let me see to the boy directly. He knows not a syllable of what account have I turned my simplicity lathis yet, though I have for some time had the tely – [Looks at a paper]. For abetting proposal in my head. He is at present with Miss Lydia Languish in a design of runhis regiment.

ning away with an ensign!-in money, Mrs. Mal. We have never seen your son, sundry times, twelve pound twelve ; gowns, Sir Anthony; but I hope no objection on fwe; hats, ruffles, caps, etc. etc. nuinberhis side.

less! From the said cnsign, within this Sir Anth. Objection!- let him object if he last month, six guineas and a half.--About dare! No, no, Mrs. Malaprop, Jack knows a quarter's pay!— Item, from Mrs. Malaprop, that the least demur puts me in a phrensy for betraying the young people to herdirectly. My process was always very simple when I found matters were likely to be dis--in their younger days, 'twas "Jack, do this; covered-two guineas, and a black padusoy. if he demurred, I knocked him down--and if — Item, from Mr. Acres, for carrying dibe grumbled at that, I always sent him out vers letters - which I never delivered--two of the room.

guineus, and a pair of buckles.--Item, from Mrs. Mal. Ay, and the properest way, o'my Sir Lucius OʻTrigger, three crowns, two conscience! nothing is so conciliating to gold pocket-pieces, and a silver snuff-box! young people as severity:-Well, Sir Anthony, -Well done, simplicity!--yet I was forced Í shall give Mr. Acres his discharge, and pre-to make my Pibernian believe, that he was pare Lydia to receive your son's invocations 1);- corresponding, not with the aunt, but with and I hope you will represent her to the the niece: for though not over rich, I found caplain as an object not altogether illegible 2). he had too much pride and delicacy to sacri

Sir Anth. Madam, I will bandle the subject fice the feelings of a gentleman to the necesprudently:-Well, I must leave you; and let sities of his fortune.

[Exit. me beg you, Mrs. Malaprop, to enforce this matter roundly to the girl;-take my advice

ACT II. keep a tight hand: if she rejects this proposal,

Scene I. clap her under lock and key; and if you were just to let the scrvants forget to bring her din- CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE's Lodgings. ner for three or four days, you can't conceive how she'd come about.

CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE and Fag.

[Exit Sir Anth. Mrs. Mal. Well, at any rate I shall be glad Fag. Sir, while I was there Sir Anthony to get her from under my intuition *): She came in: I told him, you had sent me to inhas somehow discovered my partiality for Sir quire after his health, and to know if he was Lucius O'Trigger-sure,, Lucy can't have be- at leisure to see you. trayed me!-No, the girl is such a simpleton, Abs. And what did he say, on hearing I I should have made her confess it.—Lucy!- was at Bath? Lucy! - [Calls] Had she been one of your Fag. Sir, in my life I never saw an elderartificial ones, I should never have trusted her. ly gentleman more astonished ! He started

back two or three paces, rapt out a dozen Enter Lucy.

interjectural oaths, and asked, what the devil Lucy. Did you call, ma'am?

had brought you here? Mrs. Mal. Yes, girl.–Did you see Sir Lu- Abs. Well, sir, and what did you say? cius while you was out?

Fag. O, I lied, sir-I forget the precise lie; Lucy. No, indeed, ma'am, not a glimpse of but you may depend on't, he got no truth him.

from me. Yet, with submission, for fear of Mrs. Mal. You are sure, Lucy, that you blunders in future, I should be glad to fix never mentioned

what has brought us to Bath; in order that Lucy. O Gemini! I'd sooner cut my ton- we may lie a little consistently.—Sir Anthony's

servants were curious, sir, very curious inMrs. Mal. Well, don't let your simplicity deed. be imposed on.

Abs. You have said nothing to them-? Lucy. No, ma'am.

Fug. O, not a word, sir,-not a word. Mr. Mrs. Mal. So, come to me presently, and Thomas, indeed, the coachman (whom I take I'll give you another letter to Sir Lucius; but to be the discreetest of whips), 1) We invoke the deily. – Adoratiuns would not have

Abs. 'Sdeath!-you rascal !-you have not been so much too high for her style.

trusted him! .) Ineligible.

Fag. O, no, sir-no-no-not a syllable, s) If we leave out the particle in in this word, we shall have the lady's meaning.

1) Bencvolence. 2) Venality.

gue out.

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upon my veracity!-He was, indeed, a littlel. Abs. Softly, softly; for though I am coninquisitive; but I was sly, sir—devilish sly!jvinced my little Lydia would elope with me My master, (said I) honest Thomas, (you know, as Ensign Beverley, yet am I by no means sir, one says honest to one's inferiors), is certain ihat she would take me with the imcome to Báth to recruitYes, sir, I said to pediment of our friends' consent, a regular recruit?)and whether for men, money, or humdrum wedding, and the reversion of a constilution, you know, sir, is nothing to him, good fortune on my side: no, no; I must nor any one else.

prepare her gradually for the discovery, and Abs. Well, recruit will do-let it be so, make myself necessary to ber, before I risk

Fag. O, sir, recruit will do surprisingly-it.-Well, but Faulkland, you'll dine with us indeed, to give the thing an air, I told Tho-to-day at the Hotel? mas, that your Honour had already inlisted Faulk. Indeed I cannot; I am not in spifive disbanded chairmen, seven minority waiters, rits to be of such a party. and thirteen billiard-markers.

Abs. By heavens! I shall forswear

Four Abs. You blockhead, never say more than company. You are the most teasing, captious, is necessary

incorrigible lover !--Do love like a man. Fag. I beg pardon, sir-I beg, pardon- Fauik. I own I am unfit for company. But, with submission, a lie is nothing unless Abs. Am not I a lover; ay, and a romanone supports it. Sir, whenever I draw on tic one too? Yet do I carry every where my invention for a good current lie, I always with me such a confounded farrago of doubts, forge indorsements as well as the bill. fears, hopes, wishes, and all the flimsy furAbs. Well

, take care you don't hurt your niture of a country miss's brain! credit, by, offering too much security,– Is Mr. Faulk. Ah! Jack, your heart and soul are Faulkland returned ?

not, like mine, fixed immutably on one only Fag. He is above, sir, changing bis dress. object. You throw for a large stake, but lo

Abs. Can you tell whether he has been in- sing, you could stake, and throw again:-but formed of Sir Anthony's and Miss Melville's I have set my sum of happiness on this cast, arrival?

and not to succeed, were to be stript of all, Fag. I fancy not, sir; he has seen no one Abs. But, for Heaven's sake! what grounds since he came in but his gentleman, who was for apprehension can your whimsical brain with him at Bristol.-I think, sir, I hear Mr. conjure up at present? Faulkland coming down

Faulk." What grounds for apprehension, Abs. Go, tell him, I am here.

did you say? Heavens! are there not a thouFag. Yes, sir-[Going] -I beg pardon, sir, sand! I fear for her spirits -- her health—ber hut should Sir Anthony call, you will do me life-My absence may fret her'; ber ansiety the favour to remember, that we are recruit- for my return, her fears for me, may oppress ing, if you please.

her gentle temper. And for her health, does Abs. 'Well, well.

not every hour bring me cause to be alarmed? Fag. And in tenderness to my character, if it rains, some shower may even then have if your Honour could bring in the chairmen chilled her delicate frame! If the wind be and waiters, I should esteem it as an obliga- keen, some rude blast may have affected her! tion; for though I never scruple a lie to serve the heat of noon, 'the dews of the evening, my master, yet it hurts one's conscience to be may endanger the life of her, for whom only found out.

[E.rit. I value mine. 0 Jack! when delicate and Abs. "Now for my, whimsical friend-if he feeling souls are separated, there is not a does not know that bis mistress is here, I'll feature in the sky, not a movement of the tease him a little before I tell him

elements, not an aspiration of the breeze, but

| hints some cause for a lover's apprehension! Enter FAULKLAND.

Abs. Ay, but we may choose whether we Faulkland, you're welcome to Bath again; will take ihe hint or not.-So, then, Faulkyou are punctual in your return.

land, if you were convinced that Julia were Faulk. Yes; I had nothing to detain me, well and in spirits, you would be entirely when I had finished the business I went on, content. Well, what news since I left you? How stand Faulk. I should be happy beyond measure matters between you and Lydia ?

-I am anxious only for that. Abs. Faith, much as they were; I have not Abs. Then to cure your anxiety at once seen her since our quarrel; however, I ex- Miss Melville is in perfect bealth, and is at pect to be recalled every hour.

this moment in Bath. Faulk. Why don't you persuade her to go Faulk. Nay, Jack-don't trifle with me. off with you at once?'

Abs. She is arrived here with

my

father Abs. What, and lose two-thirds of her for- within this hour. tune? You forget that, my friend. - No, no, Faulk. Can you be serious ? I could have brought her to that long ago. Abs. I thought you knew Sir Anthony bel

Faulk. Nay then, you trifle too long—ifter than to be surprised at a sudden whim of you are sure of her, propose to the aunt in this kind.-Seriously then, it is as I tell you your own character, and write to Sir An- -upon my honour. thony for his consent.

Faulk. My dear friend!-Hollo, Du Peigne! 1) Here Mr. Faz gives a proof of the fertility of his in- my hat-my dear Jack—now nothing on earth

vention, for in the course of this phrase, he hits upon can give me a moment's uneasiness. the word recruit; the slage effect is lost in the closel, ) A valet de chambre is never called by any other name

Enter Fag. than a gentleman now-a-days; and the gentleman calle for his gentleman, to come and dress him.

Fag. Sir, Mr. Acres, just arrived, is below

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, te ains certain that sbe would be able pediment of our friends com humdrum wedding, and the rest zood fortune on my repare her gradually for a large lake myself necessary to be held - Well , but Faukland

, Tahi la day at the Hotel? Faulk. Indeed I cannot; l an.

to be of such a partr 16s. By heavens! I'sle os

ence may fret ber

; to 2, her fears for her yper. And for being er bring me cause de He shower mare Jicate frame! Ils e blast may bere are on, the demise he life of her, for 0 Jack! bert

separated, Br y, bof a more ispiration of tee for a lover's atten

Scene 1.]
THE RIVALS.

657
Abs. Stay, Faulkland, this Acres lives with-there is an innate levity in woman, that no-
in a mile of Sir Anthony, and he shall tell thing can overcome.- What! happy, and I
you how your mistress has been ever since away!
you left her.-Fag, show the gentleman up. Abs. Have done : - How foolish this is!

[Exit Fag. just now you were only apprehensive for your Faulk. What, is he much acquainted in mistress's spirits. the family?

Faulk. Why, Jack, have I been the joy Abs. O, very intimate: I insist on your not and spirit of the company? going: besides, his character will divert you. Abs. No indeed, you have not.

Faulk. Well, I should likc to ask him a Faulk. Have I been lively and entertaining? few questions.

Abs. 0, upon my word, I acquit you.
Aks. He is likewise a rival of mine that Faulk. Have I been full of wit and hu-

is, of my other self's, for he does not think mour ? pany. You are the most beaded

bis friend Captain Absolute ever saw the lady Abs. No, faith, to do you justice, you have rrigible lover!-Do lore i

in question ; and it is ridiculous enough to been confoundedly stupid indeed. ulk. I own I am undit ka en

hear him complain to me of one Beverley, Acres. What's the maller with the gen$. Am not I a lorer; a, a, a concealed skulking, rival, who

tleman ? le too? Yet do I came Faulk. Hush!-He's here.

Abs. He is only expressing his great satisne such a confounded here

faction at hearing that Julia has been so well Enter Acres.

and happy-that's all--hey, Faulkland? hopes , wishes, and ale

Acres. Hah! my dear friend, noble captain, Faulk. Ob! I am rejoiced to hear il-yes, of a country mus's bra k. Ab! Jack, your best

and honest Jack, how do'st thou? just arrived, yes, she has a happy disposition !

faith, as you see.--Sir, your humble servant. Acres. That she has indeed- then she is so : mine, fixed immutabite

- Warm work on the roads, Jack – Odds accomplished-so sweet a voice—so expert at you throw for a large sa

whips and wheels! I've travelled like a comet, her harpsichord — such a mistress of flat and I could stake, and there

with a tail of dust all the way as long as the sharp, squallante, rumblante, and quiverante !) I my sum of bappises : Mall.

2there was this time monib-Odds minnums ) succeed, were to #3

Abs. Ah! Bob, you are indeed an eccentric and crotchets! how she did chirup at Mrs. it, for heaven's sake!

planet, but we know your attraction bilher- Piano's concert! . ension can four ye

Give me leave to introduce Mr. Faulkland to Faulk. There again, what say you to this? at present? you; Mr. Faulkland, Mr. Acres.

you see she has been all mirth and songWhat grounds for 3

Aires. Sir, I am most heartily glad to see not a thought of me! ? learens are there i

you: Sir, I solicit your connexions. — Hey, Abs. Pho! man, is not music the food of for her spirits – be s

Jack-what, this is Mr. Faulkland, who- love?

Abs. Ay, Bob, Miss Melville's Mr. Faulk- Faulk. Well, well, it may be so.-Pray, land.

Mr.-. what's his damn'd name!-Do you rememAcres. Od'so! she and your father can beber what songs Miss Melville sung? but just arrived before me- I suppose you Acres. Not I indeed. have seen them. Ah! Mr. Faulkland, you are Abs. Stay now, they were some pretty meindeed a bappy man.

lancholy purling-stream airs, 1 warrant; perFaulk. I have not seen Miss Melville yet, haps you may recollect;- did she sing, ‘When sir;-I hope she enjoyed full health and spi- absent from my soul's delight?' rits in Devonshire?

Acres. No, ibal wa'n't it. Acres. Never knew her better in my life, Abs. Or, 'Go, gentle gales!'--Go, gentle sir,-nerer better. Odds blushes and blooms! gales!'

[Sings. she has been as healthy as the German Spa. Acres. O no! nothing like it.-Odds! now

Faulk. Indeed !-I did bear that she bad I recollect one of them My heart's my own, been a little indisposed.

my will is free.'

[Sings. Acres. False, false, sir-only said to vex Faulk. Fool! fool that I am! to fix all my you: quite the reverse, I assure you. happiness on such a trifler! 'Sdeath! to make

Faulk. There, Jack, you see she has the herself the pipe and ballad-monger of a ciradvantage of me; I bad almost frelted my-cle! to sooth her light heart with catches and self ill.

glees !-What can you say to this, sir? Abs. Now are you angry with your mi- Abs. Why, that I should be glad to hear stress for not having been sick.

my mistress had been so merry, sir. Faulk. No, no, you misunderstand me:- Faulk. Nay, nay, nay—I'm not sorry that yet surely a little trilling indisposition is not an she has been happy-no, no, I am glad of unnatural

consequence of absence from those that I would not bave bad her sad or sick we love.—Now confess-isn't there something -yet surely a sympathetic heart would have unkind in this violent, robust, unfeeling health? shown itself even in the choice of a song

Abs. O, it was very unkind of her to be she might bavo: been temperately healthy, and well in your absence to be sure!

somehow, plaintively gay; but she has been Acres. Good apartments, Jack.

dancing too, I doubt not! Faulk. Well, sir, but you was saying that Acres. What does the gentleman say about Miss Melville has been só exceedingly well dancing? -what then she bas been merry and gay, I Abs. He says the lady we speak of dances suppose ?--Always in spirits-hey?

as well as she sings. Acres. Merry, odds crickets! 'she has been Acres. Ay truly, does she-there was at the bell and spirit of the company wherever our last race ballshe bas been-so lively and entertaining! so full of wit and humour !

1) The English words squall, rumble, and quiver, italia

nized by Mr. Acres' ingenious application of their Faulk. There, Jack, there.-0, by my soul!

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Faulk. Hell and the devil! There ! there, so bere-now ancient madam has no voice in I told you so! I told you so! Oh! she thri- it.-I'll make my old clothes know who's masves in my absence !-Dancing! but her whole ter- I shall straightway, cashier the huntingfeelings have been in opposition with mine!—frock-and render my leather breeches incaI have been anxious, silent, pensive, sedentary pable – My bair bas been in training some -my days have been hours of care, my nighis time. of watchfulness. — She has been all health! Abs. Indeed! spirit! laugh! song! dance ! - Oh! damn'd, Acres. Ay-and tho'ff the side curls are a damn'd levity!

little restive, my bind-part takes it very kindly. Abs. For Heaven's sake, Faulkland, don't Abs. (), you'll polish, I doubt not. expose yourself so.-Suppose she has danced, Acres. Absolutely

propose so — than if I what then?--docs not the ceremony of socie- can find out this Ensign Beverley, odds trigty often oblige

gers and flints! I'll make him know the dilFaulk. Well, well, I'll contain myself-ference o't. perhaps as you say–for form sake.—What, Abs. Spoke like a man-but pray, Bob, I Mr. Acres, you were praising Miss Melville's observe you have got an odd kind of a new manner of danciug a ininuet-hey? inethod of swearing-,

Acrcs. (, I dare insure her for that, but Acres. Ila! ha! you've taken notice of ilwhat I was going to speak of' was her coun-'lis genteel, isn't it?- I didn't invent it mytry-dancing: -Odds swimmings! she has such self though'; but a commander in our militia an air with her!

---a great scholar, I assure you — says that Faulk. Now disappointment on her! de- there is no meaning in the common oaths, fend this, Absolute; why don't you defend and that nothing but their antiquity makes this ?- Country-dances ! jigs and reels! am I them respectable; – because, he says, the anto blame now? A minuei I could have sor- cients would never stick to an oath or two given-I should not have minded that I say but would say, by Jove! or by Bacchus! or I should not have regarded a minuel — but by Mars! or by Venus! or by Pallas! accordcountry-dances !- Zounds! bad she made oneling to the sentiment--so that to swear with in a cotillion-I believe I could have forgiven propriely, says my little major, the oath even that, but to be monkey-led for a night! should be an echo to the sense;' and this we - to run the gauntlet through a string of callthe oath referentiul, or sentimentalswearamorous palming, puppies! -- to show paces ing-ba! ha! ba! 'lis genteel, isn't it? like a managed filly! -0 Jack, there never Abs. Very gentecl, and very new indeedcan be but one man in the world, whom and I dare say will supplant all other figures truly modest and delicate woman ought to of imprecation. pair with in a country-dance; and even then, Acres. Ay, ay, the best terms will grow ihe rest of the couples sbould be her great obsolete-Dainns bare had their day. uncles and aunts! Abs. Ay, to be sure! - grandfathers and

Enter Fag. grandmothers!

Fag. Sir, there is a gentleman below deFaulk. If there be but one vicious mind in sires to see you—Shall I show him into the the set, 'twill spread like a contagion—the ac- parlour? tion of their pulse beats to the lascivious move- Abs. Ay-you may. ment of the jig their quivering, warm

Acres. 'Well, I must be gonebreathed sighs impregnate the very air-the Abs. Stay; who is it, Fag? atmosphere becomes electrical to love, and Fag. Your father, sir. each amorous spark darts through every link Abs. You puppy, why didn't

you

show him of the chain !--I must leave you-I own I am up directly?

[Exit Fag. somewhat flurried—and that confounded looby Acres, You have business with Sir Arhas perceived it.

[Going. thony:-) expect a message from Mrs. MalaAbs. Nay, but stay, Faulkland, and thank proop at my lodgings- I have sent also to my Mr. Acres for bis good news.

dear friend Sir Lucius O'Trigger. — Adieu, Faulk. Dawn his news! [Exit Faulkland. Jack, we must meet at night, when you shall

Abs. Ha! ha! ha! poor Faulkland five mi-give me a dozen bumpers to little Lydia. nules since-nothing on earth could give him Abs. That I will with all my heart. (Exit a moment's uneasiness!'

Acres] Now for a parental lecture-I hope Acres. The gentleman wa'n't angry at my he has heard nothing of the business that has praising bis mistress, was he?

brought me here. I wish the gout bad held Abs. A little jealous, I helieve, Bob. him fast in Dezonshire, with all my soul! Acres. You don't say so? Ha! ba! jealous of mc-that's a good joke.

Enter Sir ANTHONY. Abs. There's nothing strange in that, Bob; Sir, I am delighted to see you here; and let me tell you, that sprightly grace and in-looking so well! your sudden arrival at Bath sinuating manner of yours will do some mis- made me apprehensive for your health. chief among the girls bere.

Sir Anth. Very apprehensive, I dare say, Acres. Ah! you joke-ha! ha! mischief — Jack.-What, you are recruiting here, bey? ba! ha! but you know. I am not my own Abs. Yes, sir, I am or duly. properly, my dear Lydia has forestalled me. Sir Anth. Well, Jack, I am glad to see

-She could never abide me in the country, you, thongh I did got expect it, for I was because I used to dress so badly-but odds that time onir male fashions were imported from Frame: frogs and tambours !") I sha'n't take matters now, we have the advanlage, and we have triased 1) The people in England call frenchmen frogs, ond all

The Frerchman's jacket these many years. Tanboute work for bills, rulis, cle.

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