But ere he sunk his head in sleep,
With gin his heart with joy was soaring,
Then stretching out his mouth and hands,
He set up a tremendous snoring.
Some colliers, early in the morn,

Along the heath to work were going,
And found, by chance, the gauger drunk,
Hard with his mouth for wind a-blowing;
And, lest he there should die with cold,
Into a coal-pit deep they took him,
And placed him, snoring, in a part
Where, working, they could overlook him.
He slept some hours-then faintly lifts
His peepers sad and wild around him,
When all the colliers, black as imps,

With horror and dismay confound him.
He thought he'd pass'd from life to death,
And by pot luck was with the devil,
So he address'd them, one and all,

With look and tone both wondrous civil. Then eyeing well the ugliest man, Who grinn'd most horribly with joy,"I hope an honest gauger here "Your highness never will annoy. "On earth a gauger true I was ; "But, Mister Devil, if it please ye, "At any job of dirty work

"I'll do my best, great sire, to please ye. "Whatever place in hell ye like,

"With honest heart I will endeavour "To fill my part with burning zeal, "And merit your good word for ever." The gauger spoke-when peals of fun

Burst from the devils ranged around him; Their sooty looks and gleaming eyes Were quite sufficient to astound him. He screamed aloud with abject fear, "Oh spare me, Mister Devil, spare me ! "Let not your cinders burn me up, "Let not your angry talons tear me !"

"Well," quoth the Devil," swear by me,
"If back to earth again I send thee,
"No smuggler's gin thou'lt take away,
"But be to him a gauger friendly.'

I swear, I swear, by heav'n and earth,
"And all your brothers at me staring,
"On every smuggler's gin or rum

"My hand shall ever be forbearing."
"Well, then, go home!" the collier cried,
"From this thou wilt become some wiser,
"And from this time be it thy pride
"To call Old Nick thy Supervisor."

MONSIEUR KANIFERSTANE.
Once on a time a little French marquis
For travel felt a mighty inclination,
To show himself, and foreign parts to see,
He undertook a bold peregrination.
At Dieppe he found a sloop just under weigh,

By Dutchmen mann'd, and bound for Amsterdam. Wind and tide serving, off he sails away,

And soon sea-sick beyond finesse or sham, Close in the cabin he preferred to nestle: There, faint and languid, for a space he dozed, Till, from th' increased commotion in the vessel, That land might be in sight he well supposed; So to the deck he climb'd, with empty maw, And sure enough Dutch terra firma saw.

While in the cabin sick and sad he lay,

Though a true Frenchman,he ne'er dreamt of talking, But when on deck, his spirits grew more gay, And his blood 'gan to circulate with walking,

He recollected that he had a tongue.

Now though a Frenchman French with ease can jab

And doubtless thinks all other ears are hung

[ber,

Like those he left at home, yet a Dutch swabber

Is apt enough no other speech to know

Than that which first he learn'd from Mother Frow.

Such was the case with all the trunk-hosed crew.
The marquis, struck with wonder and delight,
Enraptured gazed on objects all so new.

At length a sumptuous palace caught his sight,
Which, proudly rising from the water's side,
Show'd its new-painted front, with flow'rets gay;
While trim responsive gardens, spreading wide,
Display'd Dutch taste in regular array.
Anxious to know who own'd the pleasing scene,
The marquis, bowing with a grinning face,
Demanded of a tar, (in French I ween,)

To whom belong'd that most enchanting place. The tar, who knew as much of French as Greek, Eyed him at first with something like disdain; Then, as he shifted round his quid to speak, With growling voice cried, "Ik kan nick verstaan." "Oh, oh," replied the marquis, "does it so ? "To Monsieur Kaniferstane?-lucky man! "The palace to be sure lies rather low,

"But then the size and grandeur of the plan. "I never saw a chateau on the Seine "Equal to this of Monsieur Kaniferstane." While thus he spoke, the sailors anchor cast: And as the marquis stept upon the quay, He saw a charming frow that chanced to pass, In liveliest bloom of youth and beauty gay, Bedeck'd with all the Amsterdam parade

Of gold and silver, pearls and jeweis rare. On the marquis she much impression made,

His tender breast soon own'd a pleasing flame: Stopping a passenger, he bowing said,

"Monsieur, pray tell me who's that lovely dame." The civil Dutchman bow'd to him again,

And gently answer'd, “Ik kan nick verstaan." "What, Monsieur Kaniferstane's wife," the marquis cried:

"He who has got yon gay and sumptuous house! "Well, that some men have luck, can't be denied ; "What, such an edifice, and such a spouse!

"Ma foi, I think I never could complain,
"Had I the lot of Monsieur Kaniferstane."
As on the morrow through the streets he pass'd,
Gazing on all the pretty sights about,
On a large open hall his eyes he cast,

Where bustling crowds were going in and out.
Joining the throng, he entrance soon obtain❜d,
And found the people much engaged to see
The numbers which the blanks and prizes gain'd
In their High Mightinesses' lottery.

[claim'd,

Some laughed, some wept and groan'd, and some ex-
In all the spirit of true castle-builders;
When on a sudden a loud voice proclaim'd

The sovereign prize of twenty thousand guilders. "And who," the marquis cried to one close by,"Who has the luck this mighty prize to gain ?" The man survey'd him with a doubtful eye,

And slowly answered," Ik kan nick verstaan." "What, Monsieur Kaniferstane got the prize!" The marquis cried; "he's lucky, on my life! "He who has got a house of such a size,

"And such a garden too, and such a wife! "Diable! you may very well be vain,

"With all these treasures, Monsieur Kanifer stane." A week or two elapsed, when as he stray'd, On novelty intent, he chanced to meet, Adorn'd with solemn pomp and grave parade, A sumptuous burial coming up the street. "Monsieur," said he, as bowing to a baker

Who left his shop the pageantry to see, And just had nodded to the undertaker,

"Pray, Monsieur, whose grand burial may this be?" The baker, as he turn'd to shop again,

Replied most gravely, " Ik kan nick verstaan."
"Mon dieu," exclaim'd the marquis "what a pity!
"Monsieur Kaniferstane! what surprise!

"He had the noblest palace in this city,
"And such a wife, and such a glorious prize:
Alack, alack, good fortune smiles in vain,
So rest in peace, good Monsieur Kaniferstane."

THE ONE-LEGGED GOOSE.

A wealthy gentleman in Hertfordshire,
Not troubled with an overplus of brains,
Like many a worthy country squire,
Whose craniums give them very little pains,
Lived quietly upon his own estate ;-
He was a bachelor; but whether that
Argues in favour of his understanding,
Ör militates against it, is a question
That I would wish to have no hand in,
But leave it to your cool digestion.
He ne'er perplex'd his pate

With the affairs of state,

But led a calm domestic life,

Far from the noise of town and party strife.
He loved to smoke his pipe with jovial souls;
Prided himself upon his skill at bowls,
At which he left his neighbours in the lurch:
On Sundays, too, he always went to church,
As should each penitential sinner;

Took, during sermon-time, his usual snore;
And gave his sixpence at the door,

And then walk'd comfortably home to dinner.
As there are many, I dare say,

Who into such affairs have never look'd,

I think I'd better mention by the way,

That dinners, ere they're eaten, should be cook'd,

At least, our squire's were so before he took 'em,
And consequently he'd a cook to cook 'em.
Now as I shall have work enough

For this most gracious queen of kitchen stuff,
It may not be amiss to tell you, that

(Of lusty beauty quite a master-piece) This modern maid of fat

Surpass'd the famous dames of Greece;
Of course then she had lovers plenty-
Aye, that she had, sir,-nearly twenty!
But none did she so doat upon
As our squire's lusty gardener, John.
It chanced one year, as almanacks can tell,
St. Michael's day on Sunday fell;