98 TRAVELLING ALONE. panion; and even objects of veneration, of grandeur, and admiration, lose half their pleasure when gazed at alone. We long to admire with another the remarks, the reflections of a friend, indicate new points which have, perhaps, failed to strike us. And pleasure itself is but half pleasure after all, when smothered within ourselves. For myself, my wandering steps had roamed, in former years, over many parts of this historic land; then life was fresh, and everything was viewed beneath the influence of youth and spirits; then, with oneself, one found sufficient companionship; but in these, my later travels, I freely own that, many and many times, I regretted the want of friend and comrade-never more than now, when, laid low by sickness, I was left to suffer alone. LEFT ALONE IN SICKNESS. 99 CHAPTER VI. Misery of being left alone in Sickness-The Hytas-His History-His Habits and peculiar Cookery-Illusions and Vagaries of Delirium— Reception by the Hadji of the truant Servants-Visit of the Armenian Bishop-Mussulman Fast-How the Kavass of Mr. Layard kept it-His exploit at Van-Interior of the Church-The ChapelsTrading in the East-Monks of the Convent-Armenians-Their good and bad Qualities-Opprobrious Terms used by Turks against Christians-Gathering Harvest-Character of the Christians of the East-Return to Van-Turkish Doctors-Their Carousals-Taken by the Pasha to his Country-house-His Opinion on the Affairs of Turkey-Antiquity of Armenia as a Kingdom-Its present PowerServant beaten by Soldiers-How that Injury was redressed-Leave Van-The Hasnedara of the Pasha-How his Memory of me was to be kept lively-Pass several Villages-The Monastery of Yavik. It was not without many melancholy forebodings I saw these last Europeans depart. There seemed a safe feeling as long as they were near, some one upon whom I had a claim; and, in spite of caution, I crept to the window to see them ride away. They mount; they move; bob low under the porte cóchère, and I am alone with fever, weakness, and perhaps death. The chill, added to the anxiety, had done me harm; and for the next 100 IMPOSITION OF MY SERVANTS. two days chaos had come again. I awoke again, sensible, thank God; but conscious of fever, headache, weakness. My poor skull seemed to bound, to split; and I gave up quinine to avoid madness. At first, my only wish was to relapse into insensibility; but as the head became clearer, even though it ached to bursting, one could but be thankful for reason. My first conscious moments were embittered by the only two servants with me, who came and demanded wages in advance, one plucking my sleeve to arouse me from my trance. This imposition I firmly resisted; upon which they immediately threatened to quit my service, and I was left alone again in that dreary room. Not that I took the solitude quietly,-not a bit. I bawled and yelled, but as nobody answered, I gave it up. The next day, however, a half-crazy Hytas, a legacy of Mr. B.'s, came back from Van, where he had been sent, and putting his horse-cloth in a corner of the room, did nurse me, poor fellow, to the best of his abilities. He was a Mahometan of Egypt, and had passed his life in a species of military wandering. He had served as pipe-boy to a Mamlouk Bey, as a soldier to Ibrahim; had then served Berber Pasha, and now was a species of hanger-on of the Pasha's, who fed him, and as he said, gave him the run of his coffee-pot. Mr. B. had him some time as a kavass, and then handed him over to me. * He smoked bhang perpetually, but it only increased his philanthropic feelings. His method of cooking was simple, consisting of putting all he found into a pot, and boiling it. Thus I regaled one day on maccaroni and tea; another, on rice and chocolate. However, he was always willing to consume the mess himself, observing, that I might pronounce such dishes ridiculous, but it was prejudice, as they were excessively good. For days the old man watched or rather smoked by my side; and his solemn "Min Allah, mackaraaouna, waar Allahhi, marhaouna," (from God he came, to God he must return,) still sounds in my ears. Delirium continued for many days. I seemed in my reverie to be the last man; methought all others but old Hadji Mansour had gone, and that he would go soon. Nor was the thought altogether without pleasure,- at least, so I find by reference * Hasseeth: the opium of the Turks. 102 DANGER OF QUININE. to my note-book, many pages of which were scrawled over during my delirium. Bloodless are these limbs and cold." Perhaps there is no medicine more dangerous in inexperienced hands than quinine. If taken during fever, and failing of its effect, delirium nearly always ensues, and the pain and headache attendant on fever are most considerably increased. Long, sad, and weary were the hours, yea, days, I thus lay in that dreary room. The windows opened on a court flooded with water; the drone of the Hadji's pipe, the only sound pertaining to me: two servants sick as myself to be cared for. Light was cold, for there were no sashes, and darkness suffocation; my bed was swarming with fleas. Sadly, sadly my past life rose up before me,years wasted, friends despised, warnings disregarded, talent buried to be accounted for,-it was sad to die; sadder, sadder thus. Past scenes rolled before me-Allah Kerim, God is merciful. "I strive to number o'er what days, Remembrance can discover: Which all that life or earth displays, There rose no day, there roll'd no hour, |