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need a law to forbid it. Were I to advise in this matter, I should represent to the orator how noble a field there lay before him for panegyric; what a happy opportunity he had of doing justice to the great men who once were of that famous body, or now shine forth in it; nor should I neglect to insinuate the advantages he might propose by gaining their friendship, whose worth, by a contrary treatment, he will be imagined either not to know, or to envy. This might rescue the name from scandal; and if, as it ought, this performance turned solely upon matters of wit and learning, it might have the honour of being one of the first productions of the magnificent printing house, just erected at Oxford.*

This paper is written with a design to make my journey to Oxford agreeable to me, where I design to be at the Public Act. If my advice is neglected, I shall not scruple to insert in the Guardian whatever the men of letters and genius transmit to me, in their own vindication; and I hereby promise that I myself will draw my pen in defence of all injured


The Clarendon printing-house



N° 73. THURSDAY, JUNE 4, 1713.

In Amore hæc insunt omnia.-TER. Eun. Act. i, Sc. 1.

All these things are inseparable from love.

Ir is a matter of great concern that there come so many letters to me, wherein I see parents make love for their children, and without any manner of regard to the season of life, and the respective interests of their progeny, judge of their future happiness by the rules of ordinary commerce. When a man falls in love in some families, they use him as if his land was mortgaged to them, and he cannot discharge himself, but by really making it the same thing in an unreasonable settlement, or foregoing what is dearer to him than his estate itself. These extortioners are of all others the most cruel; and the sharks, who prey upon the inadvertency of young heirs, are more pardonable than those who trespass upon the good opinion of those who treat with them upon the foot of choice and respect. The following letters may place in the reader's view uneasinesses of this sort, which may perhaps be useful to some under the circumstances mentioned by my correspondents.


From a certain town in Cumberland, May 21.


'It is impossible to express the universal satisfaction your precautions give in a country so far north as ours; and indeed it were imper

tinent to expatiate in a case that is by no means particular to ourselves, all mankind, who wish well to one another, being equally concerned in their success. However, as all nations have not the genius, and each particular man has his different views and taste, we northerns cannot but acknowledge our obligations in a more especial manner, for your matrimonial precautions, which we more immediately are interested in. Our climate has ever been recorded as friendly to the continuation of our kind; and the ancient histories are not more full of their Goths and Vandals, that in swarms overspread all Europe, than modern story of its Yorkshire hostlers and attorneys, who are remarkably eminent and beneficial in every market-town, and most inns in this kingdom. I shall not here presume to enter, with the ancient sages, into a particular reasoning upon the case, as whether it proceeds from the cold temper of the air, or the particular constitutions of the persons, or both; from the fashionable want of artifice in the women, and their entire satisfaction in one conquest only, or the happy ignorance in the men, of those southern vices which effeminate mankind.

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From this encomium, I do not question but by this time you infer me happy already in the legal possession of some fair one, or in a probable way of being so. But alas! neither is my case, and from the cold damp which this minute seizes upon my heart, I presage never will. What shall I do? To complain here is to talk to winds, or mortals as regardless as they. The tempestuous storms in the neighbouring mountains, are not more relentless, or the crags more deaf, than the old gentleman is to my sighs and prayers. The lovely Pastorella indeed hears and gently sighs, but it is only to in

crease my tortures; she is too dutiful to disobey a father; and I am neither able, nor forward, to receive her by an act of disobedience.

'As to myself, my humour, until this accident to ruffle it, has ever been gay and thoughtless, perpetually toying amongst the women, dancing briskly and singing softly. For I take it, more men miscarry amongst them for having too much than too little understanding. Pastorella seems willing to relieve me from my frights; and by her constant carriage, by admitting my visits at all hours, has convinced all hereabouts of my happiness with her, and occasioned a total defection amongst her former lovers, to my infinite contentment. Ah! Mr. Ironside, could you but see in a calm evening the profusion of ease and tenderness betwixt us! The murmuring river that glides gently by, the cooing turtles in the neighbouring groves, are harsh compared to her more tuneful voice. The happy pair, first joined in Paradise, not more enamoured walked! more sweetly loved! But alas! what is all this! an imaginary joy, in which we trifle away our precious time, without coming together for ever. That must depend upon the old gentleman, who sees I cannot live without his daughter, and knows I cannot, upon his terms, be ever happy with her. I beg of you to send for us all up to town together, that we may be heard before you (for we all agree in a deference to your judgment) upon these heads, Whether the authority of a father should not accommodate itself to the liberty of a free-born English woman?

'Whether, if you think fit to take the old gentleman into your care, the daughter may not choose her lover for her Guardian?

Whether all parents are not obliged to provide for the just passions of their children when grown up, as well as food and raiment in their tender years?

These and such points being unsettled in the world, are cause of great distraction, and it would be worthy your great age and experience, to consider them distinctly for the benefit of domestic life. All which, most venerable Nestor, is humbly submitted by all your northern friends, as well as Your most obedient, and

devoted humble servant, PASTOR FIDO.'


WE who subscribe this, are man and wife, and have been so these fifteen years: but you must know we have quarrelled twice a day ever since we came together, and at the same time have a very tender regard for one another. We observe this habitual disputation has an ill effect upon our children, and they lose their respect towards us from this jangling of ours. We lately entered into an agreement, that from that time forward, when either should fall into a passion, the party angry should go into another room, and write a note to the other by one of the children, and the person writ to, right or wrong, beg pardon; because the writing to avoid passion, is in itself an act of kindness. This little method, with the smiles of the messengers, and other nameless incidents in the management of this correspondence with the next room, has produced inexpressible delight, made our children and servants chearful under our care and protection, and made us ourselves sensible of a

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