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-would be a great while before he could bring himself, with a good countenance and a good conscience, to converse with men upon equal terms in their own way.' I have by me a letter which I look upon as a great curiosity, and which may serve as an exemplification to the foregoing passage cited out of this most excellent prelate. It is said to have been written in King Charles IPs reign, by the ambassador of Bantam, a little after his arrival in England.
'THE people, where I now am, have tongues further from their hearts than from London to Bantam,'and thou knowest the inhabitants of one of these places do not know what is done in the other. They call thee and thy subjects Barbarians, because we speak what we mean; and account themselves a civilized people, because they speak one thing and mean another: truth they call barbarity, and falsehood politeness. Upon my first landing, one who was sent from the king of this place to meet me, told me, "That he was extremely sorry for the storm I had met with just before my arrival." I was troubled to hear him grieve and afflict himself upon my account; but in less than a quarter of an hour he smiled, and was as merry as if nothing had happened. Another who came with him, told me, by my interpreter, " He should be glad to do me any service that lay in his power." Upon which I desired him to carry one of my portmanteaus for me; but instead of serving me, according to his promise, he laughed, and bid another do it. I lodged, the first week, at the house of one who desired me " to think myself at home, and to consider his house as my own." Accordingly, I the next morning, began to knock down one of the walls of it, in order to let in the fresh air, and had packed up some of the household goods, of which I
intended to have made thee a present; but the false varlet no sooner saw me falling to work, but he sent word to desire me to give over, for that he would have no such doings in his house. I had not been long in this nation, before I was told by one, for whom I had asked a certain favour from the chief of the king's servants, whom they here call the Lord Treasurer, that I had "eternally obliged him." I was so surprised at this gratitude, that I could not forbear saying, What service is there which one man can do for another, that can oblige him to all eternity! However, I only asked him, for my reward, that he would lend me his eldest daughter during my stay in this country; but I quickly found that he was as treacherous as the rest of his countrymen."
'At my first going to court, one of the great men almost put me out of countenance, by asking " ten thousand pardons" of me for only treading by accident upon my toe. They call this kind of lie a compliment; for when they are civil to a great man, they tell him untruths, for which thou wouldest order any of thy officers of state to receive an hundred blows upon his foot. I do not know how I shall negociate any thing with this people, since there is so little credit to \<? given to them. When I go to see the king's scribe, I am generally told that he is not at home, though, perhaps, I saw him go into his house almost the very moment before. Thou wouldest fancy that the whole nation are physicians, for the first question they always ask me, is, "How I do?" I have this question put to me above a hundred times a day. Nay, they are not only thus inquisitive after my health, but wish it in a more solemn manner, with a full glass in their hands, every time I sit with them at table, though at the same time they would persuade me to drink their liquors in such quantities as I have found by experience will make me sick. They often pretend to pray for thy health also in the same manner; but I have
more reason to expect it from the goodness of thy constitution, than the sincerity of their wishes. May thy slave escape in safety from this double-tongued race of men, and live to lay himself once more at thy feet in thy royal city of Bantam.'
No. DLVIII. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23.
Qui sit, Maecenas, ut nemo, quam sibi sortem
Seu ratio dederit, seu fors objecerit, ilia
Contentus vivat: laudet diversa sequentes?
O Fortunati mercatores, gravis annis
Miles ait, multo jam fraiSus membra labore!
Contra mercator, navim jaflantibus austris,
Militia est potior. Quid enim ! concurritor: horae
Mom'ento cita mors venit, aut vi&oria lasta.
Agricolam laudat j uris legumque peritus,
Sub gaili cantum consultor upi ostia pulsat.
llle, datis vadibus, qui rure extraftus in urbemest,
Solos felices viventes clamat in urbe.
Cjetera de genere hoc (adeo sunt multa) loquacem
Delassare valent Fabium. Ne te morer, audi
Quo rem deducam. Siquis Deus, en Ego, dicat,
Jam faciam quod villus: eris tu, qui modo, mites,
Mercator: tu consultus modo, rusticus. Hinc vos,
Vos hins mutatis discedite partibus. Eja,
Quid sfatis? Nolint. Atqui licet esse beatis. Hoi.
Whence is't, Maecenas, that so few approve
The lawyer vows the farmer's life is best,
When, at the dawn, the clients break his rest.
The farmer, having put in bail t'appear,
And fore'd to town, cries, they are happiest there;
With thousands more of this inconstant race,
Would tire e'en Fabius to relate each case.
Not to detain you longer, pray attend
The issue of all this; shou'd Jcve descend,
And grant to every man his rash demand,
To run his lengths with a neglectful hand;
First, grant the harass'd warrior a release,
Bid him go trade, and try the faithless seas,
To purchase treasure and declining ease:
Next, call the pleader from his learned strife,
To the c?.lm blessings cf a country life:
And, with these separate demands, dismiss
Each Suppliant to enjoy the promis'd bliss:
Don't you believe they'd run? Not one will move,
Tho' profte^r'd to be happy from above. Horneck.
IT is a celebrated thought of Socrates, that if all the misfortunes of mankind were cast into a public stock, in order to be equally distributed among the whole species, those, who now think themselves the most unhappy, would prefer the share they are already possessed of, before that which would fall to them by such a division. Horace has carried this thought a great deal farther in the motto of my paper, which implies that the hardships or misfortunes we lie under, are more easy to us than those of any other person would be, in case we could change conditions with him.
As I was ruminating on these two remarks, and seated in my elbow-chuir, I insensibly fell asleep : when on a sudden, methought, there was a proclamation made by Jupiter, that every mortal should bring in his griefs and calamities, and throw them together in a heap. There was a large plain a[ pointed for this purpose. I took my stand in the centre of it, and saw, with a great deal of pleasure, the whole human species marching one after another, and throwing down their several loads, which immeiiiately grew up into a prodigious mountain, thaf seemed to rise above the clouds.
There was a certain lady of a thin airy shape, who was very active in this solemnity. She carried a magnifying glass in one of her hands, and was clothed in a loose flowing robe, embroidered with several figures of fiends and spectres, that discovered themselves in a thousand chimerical shapes, as her garment hovered in the wind. There was something wild and distracted in her looks. Her name was Fancy. She led up every mortal to the appointed place, after having, very officiously assisted him in making up his pack, and laying it upon his shoulders. My heart melted within me to see my fellow creatures groaning under their respective burdens, and to consider that prodigious bulk of human calamities which lay before me.
There were, however, several persons who gave me great diversion upon this occasion. I observed one bringing in a fardel very carefully concealed under an old embroidered cloak, which, upon his throwing it into the heap, I discovered to be poverty. Another, after a great deal of puffing, threw down his luggage, which, upon examining, 1 found to be his wife.
There were multitudes of lovers saddled with very whimsical burdens, composed of darts and flames; but what was very odd, though they sighed as if their hearts would break under these burdens of calamities, they could not persuade themselves to cast them into the heap when they came up to it; but after a few faint efforts, shook their heads and marched away, as heavy loaden as they came. I saw multitudes of old women throw down their wrinkles, and several young ones who stripped themselves of a tawny skin. '1 here were very great heaps of red noses, large lips, and rusty teeth. The truth of it is, I was surprised to see the greatest part of the mountain made up oi bo