Officer. Which is he? Mr. Smith. The second. (Shout.) Enter HARRY DORNTON and MILFORD, in haste. Harry. I hear them; I hear them; come along. Milford. Ha, ha, ha! Harry! you would not go; you were determined. (Shout.) Harry. Zounds! Come along. [Exit in haste, Milford follows him laughing.] [you please. Officer. (Stopping him.) A word with you, sir, if Milford. With me? Who are you? What do you Officer. You are my prisoner. [want? Milford. Prisoner! D-n! Let me go!' Officer. I must do my duty, sir. Milford. Here, here; this is your duty. (Pulling out his purse.) Mr. Smith. (Advancing.) It must not be, sir. Milford. Mr. Smith. What, at the suit of Dornton? Mr. Smith. Yes, sir. 'Tis your own fault. Why did you lead his son to these places? He heard you were to bring him here. Milford. Furies! Marker! (To a Marker passing.) Tell Harry Dornton to come to me instantly. Mar. Yes, sir. .Milford. Zounds! Let me but go and see the Mr. Smith. You must not, sir. [match. Mar. The Frenchman has the best on't. Milford. Tell Harry Dornton, I am here in trouble. Desire him to come this moment. Mar. Very well, sir, [Exit. Milford. (To the Officer.) I'll give you ten guineas for five minutes! pounds. xit. Officer. Come, come, sir. (To his two attenmts.) Bring him along. Milford. Hands off, scoundrels! (Shout.). Fends! [reunt. SCENE III-The House of Mr. Silky A room of business, ledger, letter-files, inksad, &c. Sil. Well, Jacob, have you been? Sil. Well, and what news? How is ie? Very bad? Sil. (Overjoyed.) Dead? Jacob. As Deborah! Sil. (Aside.) I'm a lucky man! (loud.) Are you sure he is dead, Jacob? Jacob. I saw him with my own yes, sir. Sil. That's right, Jacob! In a lucky man. And what say the people at the hotel? Do they know who he is? Jacob. Oh, yes, sir! He was rth. A gentleman in his own country. Sil. And did you take car they should not know you? [lesson. Jac b. To be sure, sir. Yor had given me my Sil. Ay, ay, Jacob; that's rght. You are a fine boy. Mind me, and I'll makea man of you. And you think they had heard nothing of his having Jacob. Not a word. [called on me. Sil. (Aside.) It was a luky mistake. (Aloud.) Well, Jacob; keep close; da't say a word, and I'll give you I'll give you a crown. Jacob. You promised me guinea, sir? Sil. Did I, Jacob? Did I? Well, well, I'll give you a guinea; but be close, Did you call at the widow Warren's? Jacob. Yes, sir. Sil. And will she see me? Jacob. She desires you will be there in an hour. Sil. Very well, Jacob; keep close. Not a word about the foreign gentleman, or his having been here a week ago, or his being taken suddenly ill and dying. (Aside.) It is a lucky stroke. Close, Jacob, my boy. Jacob. But give me the guinea, sir. Jacob. If you please sir. You may forget. Sil. Well, there, Jacob; there you'll be a rich man, Jacob, a cunning fellow; I read it in your countenance, Jacob. Close, Jacob, and then Jacob. Perhaps you'll give me another guinea? Sil. Well said, Jacob; you'll be a great man. Mind what I say to you, and you'll be a great man. (Knocking.) Here's somebody coming, go Jacob! Close. Jacob. And another guinea? Enter GOLDFINCH [Exit. So, Mr. Goldfinch, what do you want? Sil. Give me but good security, and you know I'm your friend. Gold. Yes; good security and fifty per cent. Mr. Smith. Take him away, sir. Sil. Why look you there now; for all you know Officer. You must come along, sir. the last annuity I had of you, I gave a full hundred Milford. (To a Marker returning.) Have you told' more than was offered by your friend Aaron, the Mar. He can't come, sir. [him? Jew. Gold. My friend? your friend; you collogue togeher. 4. Hear you now, for all you know I have alwas been your friend; always supplied you with morey, have not I? and when I saw you running to run, I never told you of it, did I? I was willing to m.ke all things easy. [me. Go. Easy enough; you have pretty well eased Sil. There is your companion, Jack Milford; I shall le a heavy loser by him, Gold. Ah, it's all up with poor Jack; he's fixed Enter JACOB. [him. Run as fast you can to my good friend Mr. Strawshoe, the attorney, and tell him to take out detainers for al the debts I have bought up against Mr. Milford: make haste. Jacob. Yes, si [Exit. Gold. I thought you were Jack Milford's friend, too! [for my family. Sil, So I am, Mr. Goldfinch! but I must provide Gold. Come, cone-the bit! tellee I want the cole directly. Sale at Tattersall's to-morrow morning -three Pot eight O brood mares with each an Eclipse colt-woull not lose them for all Lombardstreet; so will you et me have the bit? Sil. Dear, dear!tell you I can't, Mr. Goldfinch Gold. Then some other Jew must. Sil. Jew! hear you! hear you! this is to be the friend of an ungrateful spendthrift! Calls me Jew! I, who go to morning prayers every day of my life, and three times to takernacle on a Sunday! Gold. Yes; you cheit all day, tremble all night, and act the hypocrite the first thing in the morning. (Going.) Sil. Nay, but stay, Mr Goldfinch; stay, I want to talk to you: I have a scheme to make a man of you. Gold. What! bind me prentice to a usurer? Sil. Psha! you are in pursuit of the widow Warren. Gold. Well. [her to you? Sil. Now, what will you give me, and I'll secure Gold. You! Sil. Not a farthing less What, will there not be a hundred thousand remaining? Gold. Why, that's true: it will cut a fine dash. Sil. To be sure it will! Come with me, I'll draw up a sketch of an agreement; after which we must tight cunning. The widow is a vain, weak woman. You must get her written promise. Gold. Written? Sil. Under her own hand; with a good round penalty in case of forfeiture. Gold. Well said, old one! Sil. Not less than twenty thousand pounds:-a jury would grant half. Gold. D-e, you're a good one! [snack. Sil. That would secure something, and we would Gold. D-e, you're a deep one! Sil. Ah, ha, ha, ha! Do you think I am, Mr. Goldfinch? Signed on a stamp. [Goldfinch. Gold. You know a thing or two Sil. Ah, ha, ha, ha! Do you think I do, Mr. Gold. You can teach 'em to bite the bubble! Sil. Ah, ha, ha, ha! You joke, Mr. Goldfinch, you joke! Gold. But the devil will have you at last. Sil. Lord forbid, Mr. Goldfinch! Don't terrify me: I hate the devil, Mr. Goldfinch; indeed, I do! I hate the name of him. Heaven keep me out of his fiery clutches! Gold. No: he has you safe enough! Bait his trap but with a guinea, and he is sure to find you nibbling. Sil. Don't talk about the devil, Mr. Goldfinch; pray don't! but think about the widow: secure her. Gold. I must have the cole through this evening. Sil. Don't lose a moment, Mr. Goldfinch. Gold. Must not lose the Eclipse colts. Sil. Psha! Mr. Goldfinch, think less of the colts, and more of the widow. Get her promise in black and white. (Goldfinch going.) Gold. (Turns.) Tellee I must have 'em. ACT III. [Exeunt. SCENE I.-The House of the Widow Warren. Enter JENNY and SOPHIA. Jenny. Oh, miss! I have got something for you. Sophia. Something for me! What is it? is it? What [give me? Jenny. (Her hand behind her.) What will you Sophia. Oh, I'll give you-(feeling in her pocket.) La, I've got no money! But I'll give you a kiss, and owe you sixpence. Jenny. No: a shilling, without the kiss. Jenny. There then. (Giving her a small parcel.) Sophia. La! What is it? (Reads.) To Miss Sophia Freelove.' And such a beautiful seal! It's a pity to break it. (Opening the paper.) La! Nothing but a plum-cake! Jenny. Is that all? Sophia. (Considering.) Ecod!-Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I do think-as sure as sixpence, it is! It isJenny. Is what? Sophia, Oh, la! it is Jenny. What's the matter with the girl! Sophia. Ecod, Jenny, it is the most curious plumcake you ever saw! Jenny. I see nothing curious about it. Sophia. Oh! but you shall see. Give me a knife: Oh, no, that would spoil all. Look you, Jenny, look!-Do but look! (Breaks open the cake and finds a valentine.) Ha, ha, ha, ha! I told you so! The sweet, dear-kisses it.) Did you ever see such a plum-cake, in your whole life, Jenny?-And look here! (Opens the valentine.) Oh, how beautiful! The shape of a honey-suckle! What should that mean? And two doves cooing! But here-Here's the writing. The woodbine sweet, and turtle dove (Repeating.) Were such peace and truth but mine! La, now, Mr. Dornton, you know they are yours! Jenny. So, so: Mr. Dornton sends you valentines, miss! Sophia. Oh, yes, Jenny! He is the kindest, sweetest, handsomest gentleman! Jenny. You must give me that valentine, miss. Jenny. Yes; that 1 may show it your mamma. Sophia. Indeed, but don't you think it! I would not give you this tiny bit of paper, no, not for a diamond as big-as big as the whole world; and, if you were to take it from me, I'd never love you, nor forgive you, as long as I live.. Jenny. Oh! but indeed, miss, I'm not obliged to keep secrets for nothing. Sophia. Nay, Jenny, you know I am very good to you: and here-Here: don't tell ma', and 'll give you this silver thimble. [Exit Jenny. Enter WIDOW WARREN and MR. SULKY. Widow. You are a very shocking person, Mr. Sulky! The wild man of the woods broke loose! Do return to your keeper, good Ourang Outang; and don't go about to terrify children. Sulky. I tell you, madam, Mr. Milford is arrested. Sophia. My brother! Sulky. Locked up at a bailiff's in the next street. Widow. And pray, now, what is that to me? Widow. I am not arrested. Widow. Oh, the savage! Sulky. You are an angel! (To Sophia.) and yo are-(To Widow.) [Ex. Sophia. Nay, pray, sir, do stay. [Exil, followi Widow. I am glad the monster is gone: hei very intolerable person. Pray, Jenny, how di it happen that Mr. Dornton went away without seing me? Enter Servant and SILKY. Servant. Mr. Silky, madam. Widow. Leave us, Jenny. [Exit Jenny.] S, Mr. Silky-What is this very urgent business of ours? Sil. (Looking round.) Are we safe, madam-Will nobody interrupt us-nobody overhear us? Widow. No, no. But what is the meaning of all this caution? Sil. (After fastening the door, and carfully drawi g the will from his pocket.). Do you know this handwriting, madam? Widow. Ah! It is my poor old der man's, I see. Sil. You have heard of a will he bft in France? Widow. Psha! Will, indeed! He left no will. Sil. Yes, he did, madam. Widow. I won't believe it. to rob me of a single guinea. was his darling. He loved me too well Por simple soul! I Sil. His darling, madam! With your permission, I will just read a single clause in which his darling is mentioned. Look, madam! it is the alderman's hand. (Reads.) But as I have sometimes painfully suspected the excessive affection which my sai wife, Winifred Warren, professed for ne during my decline, and that the solemn protestations she made never to marry again, should she survive me, were both done with sinister views, it is my will that, should she marry, or give a legal promise of marriage, written or verbal, that she shall be cut off with an annuity of six hundred a-year; and the residue of my effects, in that case, to be equally divided between my natural son, John Milford, and my wife's daughter, Sophia Freelove. Widow. Six hundred a-year! An old dotard!brute!-monster! I hate him now as heartily as when he was alive. But pray, sir, how came you by this will? Sil. Why, it was odd encugh; and yet easy enough. My name is Silky, madam Widow. Well! Sil. And, you know, the executor's name is Sulky. Widow. Well! Sil. The gentleman that delivered it only made a mistake of a letter, and gave it to Mr. Silky, instead of Mr. Sulky. Widow. And where is that gentleman? Sil. And gone. [being delivered? Widow. And does Mr. Sulky know of this will Sil. Not a syllable; it's all close and smooth. Widow. So much the better. Come, give it me, and Sil. Excuse me there, madam: I can't do that. Widow. Why so? [for my family. Sil. My conscience won't let me; I must provide Widow. And, pray, what provision is this will to make for your family, Mr. Silky? Sil. Why, madam, I have a proposal :-you know the power of your own charms. Widow. Which, I believe, is more than you do Sophia. Ah! I'm sure you'll make him happy and Mr. Silky. pay his debts. Widow. Why, Jenny! (Calling.) Sulky. You won't! Widow. Jenny! Sil. Ah! don't say so, madam-don't say so! Would I were a handsome, rich, and well-born youth! But, you know Mr. Goldfinch? Ah, ha, ha, ha! I could tell you a secret. Widow. What, that he is dying for me, I suppose? Sil. Ah! so smitten! Talks of nothing else. Widow. And is that any secret, think you? Sil. The alderman, I find, died worth more than Widow. Well! [a plum and a half. Sil. I have talked the matter over with my friend, Mr. Goldfinch, and he thinks it but reasonable, that, for a secret of so much importance, which would almost sweep the whole away, I should recave one third. Widow. Fifty thousand pounds, Mr. Silky? il. I can't take less. [I thought you! Vidow. Why, you are a greater rogue than even St. Lord, madam, it's no roguery; it's only a knowledge of the world: a young husband with a hundred thousand pounds, or poor six hundred a-year without any husband. Enter GOLDFINCH, his clothes, hat, and boots dirtied by a fall. Gold. Here I am, all alive! Jenny. Dear! what's the matter? Gold. Pitched five-and-twenty feet into a ditch, Gold. Bye road-back of Islington-had them tight in hand too!-came to short turn anda narrow Widow. You are a very shocking old miser, Mr. lane-up flew a damned dancing-master's umbrella Silky; a very repulsive sort of person; what heart-bounce!-off they went!-road repairing-wheelyou had is turned into stone. You are insensible of the power of a pair of fine eyes; but I have made a conquest that places me beyond your reach; I mean to mary Mr. Dornton. Sil. (Surprised.) What! old Mr. Dornton, madam? Widow, OldMr. Dornton, man! I never saw the figure in my lie. No: the gay and gallant young Mr. Dornton; he pride of the city, and the lawful monarch of my bleeding heart. Sil. Ha, ha, ha! young Mr. Dornton! Widow. So, you may take your will and light your fires with i; you will not make a penny of it in any other way Mr. Sulky, the executor, is Mr. Dornton's partner; and, when I marry Mr. Dornton, he will neverinflict the absurd penalty. Sil. Ha, ha, ha! no, madam; when you marry Mr. Dornton, that he certainly never will; but if any accident should happen to prevent the match, you will then let me hear from you. Widow. Lord, good man, don't mention the horrid idea; do leave me to my delightful meditations, I would indulge in soft sensibility and dreams of bliss, and not be disturbed by dead men's wills, or the sordid extortions of an avaricious old rogue. Sil. Very well, madam; the secret for the present remains between ourselves. You'll be silent for your own sake; only remember, ha, ha, ha! if you should want me, I live at number forty. My name is on the door. Ha, ha, ha! Mr. Dornton, good morning, madam. Mr. Dornton! ha, ha, ha! you'll send if you should want me. Widow. Jenny! (Calling.) Jenny. Ma'am! [Exit laughing. Widow. As I was saying, Jenny, pray how did it happen that Mr. Dornton went away without seeing me? Jenny. Indeed, ma'am, I don't know. can Jenny. I'm sure, ma'am, I wonder how you Jenny. I am sure, ma'am, if I were a rich lady, and a handsome lady, and a fine lady, like you, I should say Mr. Goldfinch for my money. Widow. Should you, Jenny? Well, I don't know. (Languishing.) Gold. (Without.) Tellee I must see her. barrow in the way-crash-out flew I-whiz!-fire Gold. D-d mad!-cursed a few, cut up Blackand-all-Black, horse whipped Tom, took coach, and drove here like a devil in a whirlwind! Jenny. 'Tis very well your neck's not broke. Gold. Little stiff-no matter: D-n all dancingmasters, and their umbrellas! Jenny. You had better have been here, Mr. Goldfiuch. You stand so long, shilly-shally, that you'll be cut out at last. If you had but a licence now in your pocket, I'd undertake to have you married in half an hour. Gold. Do you think so? Jenny. Think! I'm sure on't, Gold. D-e, I'll post away and get one! must not lose her; the game's up if I do :-must have her! Be true to me, and I'll secure you the hundred. I'll be back from the commons in a smack. [Exit Jenny. Enter the WIDOW WARREN. Gold. Ah! Widow! here am I! (Runs up to her, kisses her boisterously, and dirties her clothes.) Widow. I protest, Mr. Goldfinch!-was ever the like! (Looking at herself.) Gold. Never mind-brush off-I'm the lad !been to Hatchet's-bespoke the wedding coach. Widow. But-Sir-. Gold. Pannels stripe painted-hammer-cloth fringed, green and white-curtains festooned-patent wheels-silver furniture-all flash!-light as a bandbox-trundle and spin after my greys like a tandem down hill-pass-shew 'em the roadwhurr-whizz-gig:-that's your sort! Widow. It will be superb! Gold. Superb! (With contempt.) Tellee it will be the thing!-the go-the stare-the gape-the gaze! The rich widow, and the tight one!-there they go! that's your sort! I'm the boy that shall drive you! Widow. Pardon me, Mr. Goldfinch; if a certain event were, by the wise disposition of Providence, to take place, I should think proper to drive. Gold. You drive? if you do, d-e! Willow. Sir! Gold. I'm christened and called Charles-Charles Goldfinch-the knowing lad that's not to be had Widow. As I live, here he comes! he is such a winter and summer-fair weather and foul-low boisterous person! How do I look, Jenny? Jenny. (Significantly, after examining.) You had better go up to your toilette for a minute. ruts or no ruts-never take a false quarter No, no, Widow, I drive-hayait-ah-ah! get on!St-St-touch White-foot in the flank-tickle Widow. That smooth-tongued old extortioner has Snarler in the ear--cut up Yelper-take out a fly's put me into such a fluster! Don't let him go, Jenny. | eye-smack-crack-that's your sort! in here? Widow. I assure you, Mr. Goldfinch, you enter- | Pray, how happens it, that you bring your accounts tain very improper suppositions concerningGold. Go for the licence-(going) Widow. Nay, but surely, Mr. Gold. Go for the licence-resolved-taken it here. (Pointing to his forehead.) Widow. If retrospect and-and affection threw no other obstacles in the way, yet the-the world→ prudence[d-n prudence! Gold. The world! prudence! D-n the world! Widow Oh! but, sir Gold. The world, nor nobody else, has nothing to do with neither your prudence nor mine; we'll be married immediately. Widow. Immediately. Mr. Goldfinch! I- Widow. Nay, Mr. Goldfinch, I-do not-absolutely renunciate, but I wishfcence Gold. It was over-know you do-go for the li- Gold. To the wise! I'm he-go for the licence that's your sort! Widow. Mr. Goldfinch, I declare SCENE II-Dornton's House. [Ezit. [Exit. Enter MR. DORNTON and MR. SMITH. Dornton. Still the same hurry, the same crowd, Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith. Much the same, sir; the house never experienced a day like this: Mr. Sulky thinks we shall never get through. Dornton. Is Milford taken? Dornton. Unprincipled prodigal! My son owes his ruin to him alone: but he shall suffer. M. Smith. My young master's tradesmen are waiting. Dorn. Bid them come in. [Exit Mr. Smith] my own fault, my own fond folly; denied him thing, encouraged him to spend! and nowRe-enter MR. SMITH, followed by Tradesmen. Mr. Smith. This way, gentlemen. All no Dornton. Zounds! what an army! a vile, thoughtless profligate! Enter Clerk. Clerk. (To Mr. Dornton.) You are wanted in the counting-house, sir. Dornton. Very well. I'll be with you in a moment, gentlemen. Abandoned spendthrift! [Exit, followed by Mr. Smith. 1 T. I don't like this: what does this mean? 2 T. Danger. 3. He has been a good customer; none of your punctual paymasters, that look over their accounts. 1 7. Oh! a different thing; nothing to be got by them; always take care to affront them. 2 7. Perhaps it is a trick of the old gentleman, to inspect into our charges. 37. I don't like that; rather hear of any tax than of taxing my bill. 17. Humph! tradesmen begin to understand these things, and allow a reasonable profit. 2 T. Can't have less than fifty per cent. for retail credit trade. 3 T. To be sure not; if a man would live in style, and have a fortune, as he ought. 17. Hush! mind; all devilish hard run! Omnes. Certainly. 17. Not a guinea in the house! to-morrow's Saturday; hem! Re-enter MR. DORNTON. Dornton. Your servant, gentlemen, your servant. 17. We received notice, sir. Dornton. You have none of you any demand upon me? 17. Happy to serve you, sir. 2 T. We shall be glad of your custom, sir. Omnes. All, all! Dornton. And do you come, expecting to be ped? 17. Money, sir, is always agreeable. 2 7. Tradesmen find it a scarce commodity. 3 T. Bills come round quick. 4 T. Workmen must eat. 2 T. For my part, I always give a genteman, who is a gentleman, his own time. Dornton. I understand you. And what re you, sir, who seem to stand apart from the rest Hosier. (Advancing.) A hosier, sir. I am unworthy the company of these honest gentlemen, who live in style. I never affront à punctual paymaster, not I; and, what they will think strange, I get more by those who do look over heir bills, than those who do not. } (Aside) 1 7. Humph! 2 T. Blab! 3 T. Shab! [bill sir? Dornton. And what may be the amount of your Hosier. A trifle for which I have no right to ask. Dornton. No right! what do you mean? Hosier. Your son, sir, made me what I am; redeemed me and my family from ruin; and it would be an ill requital of his goodness to come here like a dun, at such a time as this: when I would rather, if that could help him, give him every shilling I have in the world. Dornton. Would you? would you? (Greatly affected.) You look like an honest man; but what do you do here, then? Hosier. Mr. Dornton, sir, knew I should be unwilling to come; and sent me word, he would never speak to me more, if I did not: and, rather than offend him, I would even come here on a business like this. Dornton. (Shakes him by the hand.) You are an honest fellow; an unaccountable! And so Harry has been your friend? Hosier. Yes, sir; a liberal-minded friend; for he lent me money, though I was sincere enough to tell him of his faults. Dornton. Zounds, sir! how came you to be a weaver of stockings? Hosier. I don't know, sir, how I came to be at all; I only know, that here I am. Dornton. A philosopher! Hosier. I am not fond of titles, sir; I'm a man. Dornton. Why, is it not a shame, now, that the soul of Socrates should have crept and hid itself in the body of a stocking weaver? Give me your Hosier. Excuse me, sir. bill. Dornton. Give me your bill, I tell you; I'll pay this bill myself. Hosier. I cannot; must not, sir. Enter HARRY DORNTON. So, sir! (Turning angrily round.) Why have you assembled these people, into whose debt you have dishonestly run, wanting the power to pay; and who have as dishonestly trusted you, hoping to profit exorbitantly by your extravagance? Harry. Oh, sir, you don't know them! they are a very complaisant, indulgent kind of people. Are not you, gentlemen? 1 T. Certainly, sir. Omnes. Certainly. |