Young F. Sir, the best of my condition is, I am your son-in-law; and the worst of it is, I am brother to that noble

peer.

Lord F. Impudent to the last, Gad dem me. Sir T. My son-in-law! Not yet, I hope. Young F. Pardon me, sir; thanks to the goodness of your chaplain, and the kind offices of this old gentlewoman.

Lory. 'Tis true, indeed, sir; I gave your daughter away, and Mrs. Nurse, here, was clerk.

Sir T. Knock that rascal down!-But speak, Jesabel, how's this?

Nurse. Alas! your honour, forgive me! I have been overreach'd in this business as well as you. Your worship knows, if the weddingdinner had been ready, you would have given her away with your own hands.

Sir T. But how durst you do this without acquainting me?

Nurse. Alas! if your worship had seen how the poor thing begg'd and pray'd, and clung and twined about me like ivy round an old wall, you would say, I, who had nurs'd it, and rear'd it, must have had a heart like stone to refuse it.

Sir T. Ouns! I shall go mad! Unloose my lord there, you scoundrels!

Lord F. Why, when these gentlemen are at leisure, I should be glad to congratulate you on your son-in-law, with a little more freedom of address.

Miss H. Egad, though, I don't see which is to be my husband after all.

Love. Come, come, Sir Tunbelly, a man of your understanding must perceive, that an affair of this kind is not to be mended by anger and reproaches.

Col. T. Take my word for it, Sir Tunbelly, you are only tricked into a son-in-law you may be proud of: my friend, Tom Fashion, is as honest a fellow as ever breath'd.

Love. That he is, depend on't; and will hunt or drink with you most affectionately: be generous, old boy, and forgive them

Sir T. Never. The hussy!-when I had set my heart on getting her a title.

Lord F. Now, Sir Tunbelly, that I am untruss'd give me leave to thank thee for the very extraordinary reception I have met with in thy damn'd, execrable mansion; and at the same time to assure you, that of all the bumpkins and blockheads I have had the misfortune to meet with, thou art the most obstinate and egregious, strike me ugly!

Sir T. What's this? I believe you are both rogues alike.

Lord F. No, Sir Tunbelly, thou wilt find, to thy unspeakable mortification, that I am the real Lord Foppington, who was to have disgraced myself by an alliance with a clod; and that thou hast match'd thy girl to a beggarly younger brother of mine, whose title-deeds might be contain❜d in thy tobacco-box.

Sir T. Puppy! puppy!-I might prevent their being beggars, if I chose it; for I could give 'em as good a rent-roll as your lordship.

Lord F. Ay, old fellow, but you will not do that for that would be acting like a Christian, and thou art a barbarian, stap my vitals!

Sir T. Udzookers! Now six such words more, and I'll forgive them directly.

Love. 'Slife, Sir Tunbelly, you should do it, and bless yourself. Ladies, what say you? Aman. Good Sir Tunbelly, you must consent. Ber. Come, you have been young yourself, Sir Tunbelly.

Sir T. Well then, if I must, I must; but turn -turn that sneering lord out however, and let me be revenged on somebody. But first look whether I am a barbarian or not; there, children, I join your hands; and when I'm in a better humour, I'll give you my blessing.

Love. Nobly done, Sir Tunbelly; and we shall see you dance at a grandson's christening yet.

Miss H. By goles though, I don't understand this. What, an't I to be a lady after all? only plain Mrs. What's my husband's name,

nurse?

Nurse. Squire Fashion.

Miss H. Squire, is he?-Well, that's better than nothing.

Lord F. Now I will put on a philosophic air, and show these people, that it is not possible to put a man of my quality out of countenance.. [Aside.] Dear Tam, since things are fallen out, pr'ythee give me leave to wish thee joy; I do it de bon cœur, strike me dumb! You have married into a family of great politeness and uncommon elegance of manners, and your bride. appears to be a lady beautiful in person, modest in her deportment, refined in her sentiments, and of nice morality, split my windpipe!

Miss H. By goles, husband, break his bones, if he calls me names.

Young F. Your lordship may keep up your spirits with your grimace, if you please; I shall support mine by Sir Tunbelly's favour, with this lady and three thousand pounds a year.

Lord F. Well, adieu, Tam-ladies, I kiss your hands. Sir Tunbelly, I shall now quit this thy den; but while I retain the use of my arms, I shall ever remember thou art a demn'd, horrid savage; Ged demn me! [Exit.

Sir T. By the mass, 'tis well he's gone-for I should ha' been provoked, by-and-by, to ha' dun un a mischief. Well, if this is a lord, I think Hoyden has luck o'her side, in troth.

Col. T. She has indeed, Sir Tunbelly-but I hear the fiddles; his lordship, I know, had provided 'em.

Love. O, a dance and a bottle, Sir Tunbelly, by all means.

Sir T. I had forgot the company below; well -what-we must be merry then, ha? and dance and drink, ha? Well, 'fore George, you sha'n't say I do these things by halves. Son-in-law there looks like a hearty rogue, so we'll have a night on't and which of these ladies will be the old man's partner, ha ?—'Ecod, I don't know how I came to be in so good a humour.

Ber. Well, Sir Tunbelly, my friend and I both will endeavour to keep you so you have done a generous action, and are entitled to our attention. If you should be at a loss to divert your new guests, we will assist you to relate to them the plot of your daughter's marriage, and his lordship's deserved mortification; a subject which perhaps may afford no bad evening's entertainment.

Sir T. 'Ecod, with all my heart; though I am a main bungler at a long story.