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But the whole creation is filled with good things and in order not to be overtaken, took the most upp for the beggar; Calvert's butt outtastes Cham- frequented roads possible. One evening as I was pagne, and Sedgeley's home-brewed excels Tokay. entering a village, I perceived a man, wbum I after Joy, joy, my blood, though our estates lie nowhere, wards found to be the curate of the parish, thrown we have fortunes wherever we go. If an inunda- from his horse in a miry road, and almost smothertion sweeps away half the grounds of Cornwall
, 1 ed in the mud. He desired my assistance; I gave am content; I have no lands there: if the stocks it, and drew him out with some difficulty. He sink, that gives me no uneasiness; I am no Jew." thanked me for my trouble, and was going off; but The fellow's vivacity, joined to his poverty, I own, I followed him home, for I loved always to have a raised my curiosity to know something of his life man thank me at his own door. The curate askand circumstances; and I entreated that he woulded a hundred questions; as whose son I was; from indulge my desire. “That I will, sir," said he, whence I came; and whether I would be faithful? "and welcome; only let us drink to prevent our I answered him greatly to his satisfaction; and sleeping; let us have another tankard while we are gave myself one of the best characters in the world awake; let us have another tankard; for, ah, how for sobriety (sir, I have the honour of drinking charming a tankard looks when full !
your health), discretion, and fidelity. To make a “You must know, then, that I am very well de- long story short, he wanted a servant, and hired scended; my ancestors have made some noise in me. With him I lived but two nionths, we did the world; for my mother cried oysters, and my not much like each other: I was fond of eating, father beat a drum : I am told we have even had and he gave me but little to eat; I loved a pretty some trumpeters in our family. Many a nobleman girl, and the old woman, my fellow-servant, was can not show so respectable a genealogy; but that ill-natured and ugly. As they endeavoured to is neither here nor there ; as I was their only child, starve me between them, I made a pious resolution my father designed to breed me up to his own em- to prevent their committing murder: 1 stole the ployment, which was that of drummer to a pup- eggs as soon as they were laid ; I emptied every unpet-show. Thus the whole employment of my finished bottle that I could lay my hands on; whatyounger years was that of interpreter to Punch and ever eatable came in my way was sure to disap King Solomon in all his glory. But though my pear: in short, they found I would not do; so I father was very fond of instructing me in beating was discharged one morning, and paid three shit all the marches and points of war, I made no very Ings and sixpence for two months' wages. great progress, because I naturally had no ear for “While my money was getting ready, I employ. music; so, at the age of fifteen, I went and listed ed myself in making preparations for my departure: for a soldier. As I had ever hated beating a drum, two hens were hatching in an out-house; I went 90 I soon found that I disliked carrying a musket and took the eggs from habit, and not to separate also; neither the one trade nor the other were to the parents from the children, I lodged hens and my taste, for I was by nature fond of being a gen- all in my knapsack. After this piece of frugality, tleman: besides, I was obliged to obey my captain; I returned to receive my money, and with my knap he has his will
, I have mine, and you have yours: sack on my back, and a staff in my hand, I bade now I very reasonably concluded, that it was much adieu, with tears in my eyes to my old benefactor. more comfortable for a man to obey his own will I had not gone far from the house when I heard than another's.
behind me the cry of Stop thief! but this only in“The life of a soldier soon therefore gave me creased my dispatch: it would have been foolish to the spleen; I asked leave to quit the service; but stop, as I knew the voice could not be levelled at as I was tall and strong, my captain thanked me me. But hold, I think I passed those two months for my kind intention, and said, because he had a at the curate's without drinking. Come, the times regard for me, we should not part. I wrote to my are dry, and may this be my poison if ever I spent father a very dismal penitent letter, and desired two more pious, stupid months in all my life. that he would raise money to pay for my discharge; "Well, after travelling some days, whom should but the good man was as fond of drinking as I was I light upon but a company of strolling players. (sir, my service to you), and those who are fond The moment I saw them at a distance, my heart of drinking never pay for other people's discharges : warmed to them; I had a sort of natural love for in short, he never answered my letter. What could every thing of the vagabond order: they were eme sve done? If I have not money, said I to myself, ployed in settling their baggage, which had bees to pay for my discharge, I must find an equivalent overturned in a narrow way; I offered my assistsome other way; and that must be by running ance, which they accepted ; and we soon became away. I deserted, and that an-wered my purpose so well acquainted, that they took me as a servant. every bit as well as if I had bought my discharge. This was a paradise to me; they sung, danced,
"Well, I was now fairly rid of my military en- drank, eat, and travelled, all at the same time. By polosyment; I sold my soldier's clothes, bought worse, 'the blood of the Mirabels ! I thought I bad never
lived till then; I grew as merry as a grig, and laugh-man for falling sick at so inconvenient a time, and ed at every word that was spoken. They liked that too of a disorder that threatened to be expenme as much as I liked them: I was a very good sive; I seized the moment, and offered to act the ligure, as you see ; and, though I was poor, I was part myself in his stead. The case was desperate : not modest.
they accepted my offer; and I accordingly sat down, "I love a straggling life above all things in the with the part in my hand and a tankard before me world; sometimes good, sometimes bad; to be warm (sir, your health), and studied the character, which to-day, and cold to-morrow; to eat when one can was to be rehearsed the next day, and played soon get it, and drink when (the tankard is out) it after. stands before me. We arrived that evening at "I found my memory excessively helped by Tenterden, and took a large room at the Grey- drinking: I learned my part with astonishing hound; where we resolved to exhibit Romeo and rapidity, and bade adieu to snuffing candles ever Juliet, with the funeral procession, the grave, and after. I found that nature had designed ine for the garden scene. Romeo was to be performed by more noble employments, and I was resolved to a gentleman from the Theatre Royal in Drury- take her when in the humour. We got together lane; Juliet, by a lady who had never appeared on in order to rehearse ; and I informed my comany stage before ; and I was to snuff the candles : panions, masters now no longer, of the surprising all excellent in our way. We had figures enough, change I felt within me. Let the sick man, said I, but the difficulty was to dress them. The same be under no uneasiness to get well again : I'll fill coat that served Romeo, turned with the blue lining his place to universal satisfaction ; he may even die outwards, served for his friendl Mercutio : a large if he thinks proper; I'll engage that he shall never piece of crape sufficed at once for Juliet's petticoat be missed. I rehearsed before them, strutted, rantand pall: a pestle and mortar, from a neighbouring ed, and received applause. They soon gave out apothecary's, answered all the purposes of a bell; that a new actor of eminence was to appear, and and our landlord's own family, wrapped in white immediately all the genteel places were bespoke. sheets, served to fill up the procession. In short, Before I ascended the stage, however, I concluded there were but three figures among us that might within myself, that as I brought money to the he said to be dressed with any propriety : I mean house, 1 ought to have my share in the profits. the nurse, the starved apothecary, and myself. Our Gentlemen, said I, addressing our company, I don't performance gave universal satisfaction : the whole pretend to direct you; far be it from me to treat audience were enchanted with our powers. you with so much ingratitude: you have published
“There is one rule by which a strolling player my name in the bills with the utmost good-nature, may be ever secure of success; that is, in our theatri- and, as affairs stand, can not act without me: so, cal way of expressing it, to make a great deal of gentlemen, to show you my gratitude, I expect to the character. To speak and act as in common be paid for my acting as much as any of you, otherlife is not playing, nor is it what people come to wise 1 declare off; I'll brandish my snuffers, and see: natural speaking, like sweet wine, runs glibly clip candles as usual. This was a very disagreeover the palate, and scarcely leaves any taste be-able proposal, but they found that it was impossible hind it; but being high in a part resembles vinegar, to refuse it; it was irresistible, it was adamant : which grates upon the taste, and one feels it while they consented, and I went on in king Bajazet; my he is drinking. To please in town or country, the frowning brows bound with a stocking stuffed into way is to cry, wring, cringe into attitudes, mark a turban, while on my captived arms I branJished the emphasis, slap the pockets, and labour like one a jack-chain. Nature seemed to have fitted me for in the falling sickness; that is the way to work for the part; I was tall, and had a loud voice ; my very applause; that is the way to gain it.
entrance excited universal applause; I looked ** As we received much reputation for our skill round on the audience with a smile, and made a on this first exhibition, it was but natural for me most low and graceful bow, for that is the rule to ascribe part of the success to myself: I snuffed among us. As it was a very passionate part, I inthe candles, and let me tell you, that, without a vigorated my spirits with three full glasses (the candle-snuffer the piece would lose half its enıbel- tankard is almost out) of brandy. By Alla! it is lishments. In this manner we continued a fourt almost inconceivable how I went through it; night, and drew tolerable houses, but the evening Tamerlane was but a fool to me; though he was before our intended departure, we gave out our sometimes loud enough too, yet I was still louder very best piece, in which all our strength was to be than he: but then, besides, I had attitudes in exerted. We had great expectations from this, abundance ; in general I kept my armos folded up and even doubled our prices, when behold one of thus, upon the pit of my stomach ; it is the way at the principal actors fell ill of a violent fever. This Drury-lane, and has always a fine effect. Tbo was a stroke like thunder to our little company : tankard would sink to the bottom before I could they were resulved to go in a body, to scold the get through the whole of my merits: in stort, I came off like a prodigy; and such was my success, | However, no way intimidated, I came on in Sü that I could ravish the laurels even from a sirloin Harry, one hand stuck in my breeches, and the of beef. The principal gentlemen and ladies of the other in my bosom, as usual at Drury lane ; but town came to me, after the play was over, to com- instead of looking at me, I perceived the whole pliment me upon my success; one praised my voice, audience had their eyes turned upon the lady who another my person: upon my word, says the had been nine months in London : from her they 'squire's lazły, he will make one of the finest actors expected the decision which was to secure the gein Europe; I say it, and I think I am something neral's truncheon in my hand, or sink me down of a judge.—Praise in the beginning is agreeable into a theatrical letter-carrier. I opened my snuffenough, and we receive it as a favour; but when box, and took snuff; the lady was solemn, and so it comes in great quantities, we regard it only as a were the rest ; I broke my cudgel on Alderinan debt, which nothing but our merit could extort: Smuggler's back; still gloomy, melancholy all, the instead of thanking them, I internally applauded lady groaned and shrugged her shoulders: 1 atmyself. We were desired to give our piece a tempted, by laughing myself, to excite at least a second time; we obeyed; and I was applauded even smile ; but the devil a cheek could I perceive more than before.
wrinkled into sympathy; I found it woulā not do. "At last we left the town, in order to be at a All my good humour now became forced; my horse-race at some distance from thence. I shall laughter was converted into hysteric grinning; and, never think of Tenterden without tears of grati- while I pretended spirits, my eye showed the agony lude and respect. The ladies and gentlemen of my heart : in short, the lady came with an inthere, take my word for it, are very good judges of tention to be displeased, and displeased she was; plays and actors. Come, let us drink their healths, my fame expired; I am here, and—(the tankard if you please, sir. We quitted the town, 1 say; is no more !)"" and there was a wide difference between my coming in and going out : I entered the town a candlesnuffer, and I quitted it a hero!-Such is the world; little tv-day, and great to-morrow. I could say a
ESSAY VII. great deal more upon that subject, something truly sublime, upon the ups and downs of fortune; but WHEN Catharina Alexowna, was made emit would give us both the spleen, and so I shall pass press of Russia, the women were in an actual state it over.
of bondage; but she undertook to introduce mixed “The races were ended before we arrived at the assemblies, as in other parts of Europe; she alternext town, which was no small disappointment to ed the women's dress by substituting the fashions our company; however, we were resolved to take of England; instead of furs, she brought in the all we could get. I played capital characters there use of taffeta and damask ; and cornets and comtoo, and came off with my usual brilliancy. 1 modes instead of caps of sable. The woinen now sincerely believe I should have been the first actor found themselves no longer shut up in separate in Europe, had my growing merit been properly apartments, but saw company, visited each other, cultivated; but there came an unkindly frost and were present at every entertainment. which nipped me in the bud, and levelled me once But as the laws to this effect were directed to a more duwn to the common standard of humanity. savage people, it is amusing enough to see the I played Sir Harry Wildair ; all the country ladies manner in which the ordinances ran. Assemblies were charmed: if I but drew out my snuff-box, were quite unknown among them; the czarina the whole house was in a roar of rapture ; when I was satisfied with introducing them, for she found exercised my cudgel, I thought they would have it impossible to render them polite. An ordinance fallen into convulsions.
was therefore published according to their notions " There was here a lady who had received an of breeding, which, as it is a curiosity, and has education of nine months in London, and this never before been printed that we know of, we gave her pretensions to taste, which rendered her shall give our readers. the indisputable mistress of the ceremonies where- "1. The person at whose house the assembly is ever she came. She was informed of my merits; to be kept, shall signify the same by hanging out every body praised me, yet she refused at first a bill, or by giving some other public notice, by going to see me perform: she could not conceive, way of advertisement, to persons of both sexes, she said, any thing but stuff from a stroller; talked “II. The assembly shall not be open sooner than something in praise of Garrick, and amazed the four or five o'clock in the afternoon, nor continue ladies with her skill in enunciations, tones, and longer than ten at night. cadences; she was at last, however, prevailed upon “III. The master of the house shall not be wigo; and it was privately intimated to me what obliged to meet his guests, or conduct them out, or . judge was to be present at my next exhibition. keep them company; but, though he is exempe
from all this, he is to find them chairs, candles, he refused to take the advice of his parents, and liquors, and all other necessaries that company pursued the bent of his inclination ; he played at may ask for: he is likewise to provide them with cards on Sundays ; called himself a gentleman; cards, dice, and every necessary for gaming. fell out with his mother and laundress; and even
“IV. There shall be no fixed hour for coming in these early days his father was frequently heard or going away; it is enough for a person to appear to observe, that young The.-would be hanged. in the assembly.
As he advanced in years, he grew more fond of "V. Every one shall be free to sit, walk, or game, pleasure; would eat an ortolan for dinner, though as he pleases; nor shall any one go about to hin- he begged the guinea that bought it; and was der him, or take exceptions at what he does, upon once known to give three pounds for a plate of pain of emptying the great eagle (a pint bowl full green peas, which he had collected over-night as of brandy); it shall likewise be sufficient, at en- charity for a friend in distress : he ran into debt tering or retiring, to salute the company. with every body that would trust him, and none
S. VI. Persons of distinction, noblernen, supe- could build a sconce better than he ; so that at last rior officers, merchants and tradesmen of note, his creditors swore with one accord that The.---head workmen (especially carpenters), and persons would be hanged. employed in chancery, are to have liberty to enter But as getting into delt by a man who had no the assemblies; as likewise their wives and children. visible means but impudence for subsistence, is a
“VII. A particular place shall be assigned the thing that every reader is not acquainted with, I footmen, except those of the house, that there may must explain that point a little, and that to his be room enough in the apartinents designed for the satisfaction. assembly.
There are three ways of getting into debt ; first, “VIII. No ladies are to get drunk under any by pushing a face ; as thus : “You, Mr. Lutestring, pretence whatsoever; nor shall gentlemen be send me home six yards of that paduasoy, damme; drunk before nine,
—but, harkee, don't think I ever intend to pay you IX. Ladies who play at forfeitures, questions for it, damme.” At this the mercer lavghs heartand commands, etc. shall not be riotous: no gen- ily, cuts off the paduasoy, and sends it home; tleman shall attempt to force a kiss, and no person nor is he, till too late, surprised to find the genshall offer to strike a woman in the assembly, tleman had said nothing but truth, and kept his under pain of future exclusivn."
word. Such are the statutes upon this occasion, which The second method of running into deht is called in their very appearance carry an air of ridicule fineering; which is getting goods made up in such and satire. But politeness must enter every coun- a fashion as to be unfit for every other purchaser ; try by degrees; and these rules resemble the breed- and if the tradesman refuses to give them credit, ing of a clown, awkward but sincere.
then threaten to leave them upon his hands.
But the third and best method is called, “Being the good customer.” The gentleman first buys
some trifle, and pays for it in ready money; he ESSAY VIU.
comes a few days after with nothing about him
but bank bills, and buys, we will suppose, a six SUPPOSED TO BE WRITTEN BY THE ORDINARY OP penny tweezer-case; the bills are wo great to be
changed, so he promises to return punctually the
day after and pay for what he has bought. In this Man is a most frail being, incapable of direct promise he is punctual, and this is repeated for ing his steps, unacquainted with what is to happen eight or ten times, till his face is well known, and in this life ; and perhaps no man is a more mani- he has got at last the character of a good cusfest instance of the truth of this maxim, than Mr. tomer: by this means he gets credit for something The. Cibber, just now gone out of the world. considerable, and then never pays for it. Such a variety of turns of fortune, yet such a per- In all this, the young man who is the unhappy severing uniformity of conduct, appears in all that subject of our present reflections was very expert ; happened in his short span, that the whole may be and could face, fineer, and bring custom to a shop lovked upon as one regular confusion : every action with any man in England: none of his compan. of his life was matter of vonder and surprise, and ions could exceed him in this; and his very coinhis death was an astonisiunent.
panions at last said, that The.-would be hanged. This gentleman was born of creditable parents, As he grew old he grew never the better : he who gave him a very good education, and a great loved ortolans and green peas as before; he drank deal of good learning, so that he could read and gravy-soup when he could get it, and always thought surite before he was sixteen. However, he early his oysters tasted best when he got them for nodiscovered an inclination to follow lewd courses; thing, or which was just the same, when he bought
them upon tick; thus the old man kept up the ject of the same tame and timid disposition, Magvices of the youth, and wha: he wanted in power na Charta (to use the coarse phrase of Oliver he made up by inclination ; so that all the worlu Cromwell) would be no more regarded by an amthought, that old The.—would be hanged. bitious prince than Magna F-ta, and the liber.
And now, reader, I have brought him to his last ties of England expire without a groan. Opposiscene; a scene where, perhaps, my duty should tion, when restrained within due bounds, is the have obliged me to assist. You expect, perhaps, salubrious gale that ventilates the opinions of the his dying words, and the tender farewell he took people, which might otherwise stagnate into the of his wife and children; you expect an account most abject submission. It may be said to purify of his coffin and white gloves, his pious ejacula- the atmosphere of politics ; to dispel the gross raLions, and the papers he left behind him. In this pours raised by the influence of ministerial artifice I can not indulge your curiosity; for, oh! the mys- and corruption, until the constitution, like a mighty teries of Fate, The.-was drowned !
rock, stands full disclosed to the view of every in“Reader," as Hervey saith, "pause and pon- dividual who dwells within the shade of its protecder ; and ponder and pause ; who knows what thy tion. Even when this gale blows with augmented own end may be !"
violence, it generally tends to the advantage of the commonwealth ; it awakes the apprehension, and
consequently arouses all the faculties of the pilot ESSAY IX.
at the helm, who redoubles his vigilance and cau
tion, exerts his utmost skill, and, becoming acI vare the liberty to communicate to the public quainted with the nature of the navigation, in a a few loose thoughts upon a subject, which, though little time learns to suit his canvass to the roughoften handled, has not yet in my opinion been fully ness of the sea and the trim of the vessel. Withdiscussed : I mean national concord, or unanimity, out these intervening storms of opposition to exerwhich in this kingdom has been generally consider-cise his faculties, he would become enervate, neglied as a bare possibility, that existed no where but gent, and presumptuous; and in the wantonness in speculation. Such a union is perhaps neither of his power, trusting to some deceitful calm, perto be expecteil nor wished for in a country, whose haps hazard a step that would wreck the constituliberty depends rather upon the genius of the peo- tion. Yet there is a measure in all things. A ple, than upon any precautions which they have molerate frost will fertilize the glebe with nitrous taken in a constitutional way for the guard and particles, and destroy the eggs of pernicious insects preservation of this inestimable blessing. that prey upon the infancy of the year; but if this
There is a very honest gentleman with whom I frost increases in severity and duration, it will chill have been acquainted these thirty years, during the seeds, and even freeze up the roots of vegetawhich there has not been one speech uttered bles; it will check the bloom, nip the buds, and against the ministry in parliament, nor struggle at blast all the promise of the spring. The vernal an election for a burgess to serve in the House of breeze that drives the fogs before it, that brushes Commons, nor a pamphlet published in opposition the cobwebs from the boughs, that fans the air and to any measure of the administration, nor even a fosters vegetation, if augmented to a tempest, will private censure passed in his hearing upon the strip the leaves, overthrow the tree, and desolale misconduct of any person concerned in public af- the garden. The auspicious gale before which the fairs, but he is immediately alarmed, and loudly trim vessel ploughs the bosom of the sea, while the exclaims against such fuctious doings, in order to mariners are kept alert in duty and in spirits, if set the people by the ears together at such a deli- converted to a hurricane, overwhelms the crew cate juncture. " At any other time (says he) such with terror and confusion. The sails are rent, the opposition might not be improper, and I don't cordage cracked, the masts give way; the master question the facts that are alleged; but at this crisis, eyes the havock with mute despair, and the ressei sir
, to inilame the nation!-the man deserves to be founders in the storm. Opposition, when confined punished as a trailor to his country." In a word, within its proper channels, sweeps away those according to this gentleman's opinion, the nation beds of soil and banks of sand which corruptivs has been in a violent crisis at any time these thirty power had gathered; but when it overflows its gears; and were it possible for him to live another banks, and deluges the plain, its course is marked century, he would never find any period, at which by ruin and devastation. a man might with safety impugn the infallibility of The opposition necessary in a free state, like a minister.
that of Great Britain, is not at all incompatible The case is no more than this: my honest friend with that national concord which onght to unite Las invested luis whole fortune in the stocks, on the people on all emergencies, in which the general Government security, and trembles at every whill safety is at stake. It is the jealousy of patriotism, mf popular discontent. Were every Britislı sub-I not the rancour of party; the waruuti of candos,