"First see the land which thou intend'st to buy, And after several other warnings of a like nature, he concludes:— "These things foreknown and done, you may prevent Those things rash buyers many times repent; And yet whereas you have done all you can, If you'll be sure deal with an honest man." The following specimen of legal poetry went the round of the bar at the time of the famous Gorham appeal to the Privy Council, and is generally attributed to the witty Sir George Rose: Each with his brother? The lawyers the Native!" In a book styled the "Pleader's Guide," published about the year 1815, under the pseudonym of Surrebutter-the author's real name being John Anstey-the art and mystery of special pleading is duly undertaken to be taught in poetic numbers; but although the book abounds with exuberant wit, we are afraid that the student, after reading it, will know as much about special pleading as he did before. The description of the trial for assault, with which the work concludes, is very laughable, and we wonder that it has not been oftener quoted. The opening of the speech of the counsel for the plaintiff will give an idea of the style of the poem: "I rise with pleasure, I assure ye, The pleadings state that John-a-Gull, Beat, bruis'd, and wounded John-a-Gudgeon. The evidence, as given by one of the witnesses for the prosecution-to wit, the medical man-is a parody on the style of doctors' depositions generally in courts of law, and with it we will conclude our little article:"Counsel. Good Doctor Tench, Pray tell the jury and the bench All that you heard and saw that day. I was called in at the conclusion T' inspect a vertical contusion; Ran quite athwart the occiput. "Our fiddle. No, Gummer, young Mr. Max De Crespin. And it is no use beating about the bush, and never coming to the bird in hand; and I won't keep you in the dark. He offered to Janet, and he is at the villa waiting to see you." "Like his impudence," I exclaimed. "Gummer, don't make me faint dead away on the hard flags. Being a father, don't fling away the chance and happiness of the poor dear girl. If young Mr. De Crespin is not your taste, it is not you who will have to live with him morning, noon, and night, and Sundays into the bargain." Much more was said by Mrs. Gummer, but I was too upset to heed her or to reply. Nancy met me at the gate, and warned me to be cautious. When I entered the drawing-room, there were Janet and Max De Crespin sitting on the couch. Janet blushed scarlet, and left the room. Young De Crespin was as cool as if I were a horse-dealer, and he had come to buy a horse; and his coolness nettled me. "I venture to hope, Mr. Gummer, that you have long observed my affection for your dear and amiable daughter. I have presumed to offer her my hand, with the full approval of the Colonel; and I am happy to say that, with your consent, my offer will be accepted." Not a quiver in his voice, and I was almost choking. We had talked of offers, and sought for offers; and now, when an offer came, it made me writhe with pain. Suddenly I was conscious that the years were gone, and that I was old. There sat the man who was to begin the pulling down of my home. He was to take my girl from me. She was to love him, to love that stranger, more than she loved me. A father watches over his child, and labours for her in the years she cannot be grateful for his care. At length she grows to honour him, and to love him, and to be a blessing to him. And when she is most dear, most loving, and most needful, the stranger comes, takes her away when she is the sunshine of the home and the joy that makes joyful the years of old age, and the father is left desolate. This is selfish, but all love is selfish; and, save the love of son and mother, what love is so pure, so deep, so strong as the love of a father for his girl? And I looked at that young De Crespin playing with his watch chain, and staring vacantly at the pattern of the carpet, and Ĭ was angry that Janet could think of giving up her home and her father for such a man. Not that there was anything unpleasant in his appearance, though he was hateful in my sight. I told him, as politely as I could, that he had taken me by surprise, that I would speak to Janet, and send him an answer. thanked me, shook hands, and departed. He I was awfully dull and evil-tempered over tea; and after tea I took up a book, and pretended to read. Janet was silent; and Mrs. Gummer and Nancy talked in whispers, perhaps about the wedding. By and by, Janet came to me, and sat upon my knee, and put her arms about my neck. As she pressed closely to me, I felt the beating of her heart; and when her cheek touched mine, it was burning hot and wet. And she whispered "Pa, darling, if it hurts you ever so little I will give him up, and not care about it." And she kissed me, and a tear fell on my face. I bent my head over her, and held her to me as if she were again a baby, and I was lulling her to sleep. I whispered"Darling, if he loves you and you love him it will not hurt me, but make me glad." I spoke the truth, for I felt how cruelly selfish I had been. Mrs. Gummer and Nancy left us, and I continued to nurse Janet as if she were a little child. Then we talked a little, and I was comforted. Janet might go from me, but the love of father and daughter is an everlasting love. When supper was over, we were almost cheerful. Mrs. Gummer and Nancy referred now and then to the event; and when they did so, Janet looked fondly on me; and her look was a pledge of a love that could never die or even grow less. A note from the Colonel asked me to waive ceremony, and to call on him. He was in his snug library. Easy chairs that fit every crease of the body, as if the sitters had been measured for them. Drinks on the table, a little oak cabinet of cigars, a tobacco jar, and fancy pipes for those who prefer cool smoke. "It is a flagrant breach of social order for me not to have called on you; but I thought we should be quiet here, and I know you are not a fanatical worshipper of that senseless and exacting idol, Etiquette." The Colonel filled a pipe for me, and lighted a cigar. "So, Gummer, the young people want to connect you and me as fathers-in-law." My pipe was out, and the Colonel lighted a spill of scented wood, and handed it to me. Smoking is convenient when you are bothered. "Well, Gummer, I cannot object to Miss Janet, who is a most charming lassie; and, from what I hear, she does not object to Max. What is your view ?" I replied that Janet was a dear, good girl, that I only desired her happiness, and that if they loved each other, they had my free consent to the marriage. "We may take the love for granted; and that being so, it is urgent for us to come to business. Love, my dear sir, is an ingredient in marriage, but there are other matters to be considered. With or without antenuptial love, most well-arranged marriages are happy. No matter how strong the antenuptial love, an ill-arranged marriage is sure to turn out badly." I said I did not believe in happiness without affection. "Certainly not; and in order that there may be continued affection, there must be adequate arrangements. Now, Gummer, we have to resolve ourselves into a committee of ways and means, and I shall be frank, but I trust not offensive." The Colonel replenished the glasses, and I refilled my pipe. I was not over-comfortable. I felt that I was in the power of the Colonel. I am a man of business, but that sort of look-down-upon-you coolness put me out of court. "Now, Gummer, Max has no fortune. When I die, he will come into £500 a-year. Whilst I live, I can allow him 200 a-year for cigars and toothpicks. As all the world knows, I am poor. How can the younger branch of the oldest family in England be rich? The elder branch has the land, and we have the name only. What can we do? A De Crespin can't go into business, for he has no capital for great commerce or the haute finance, and shopkeeping is unfortunately impossible. Our sole property is our blood. Mind you, Gummer, we don't marry for money, but we can't marry without it. The question is, are you willing to take Max without a fortune? And, if so, what will you do for Miss Janet ?" I replied that I had not thought of the details, but that Janet and her sister would divide all I was worth. "My dear Gummer, in business there is nothing like precision and promptitude. It won't do for these young people to get attached if marriage is impossible. Will you permit me to state my views of what I think is right and necessary?" I begged the Colonel to proceed. "Shortly, then, my idea is: £25,000 settled on Miss Janet, with a life-interest to Max if he survives his wife, the principal to the children-if there are children; if there are no children, £15,000 to Max, and the balance to be at the disposal by will of Miss Janet. Besides the settlement, £5,000 as a wedding gift. a wedding gift. Sum total-£30,000. It may appear to you, Gummer, that £30,000 is an extravagant price for a skinful of De Crespin blood. So it is; but old blood, like a large diamond, is a fancy article, and there is no proportion between the utility value and the market value. However, the point is, that Max cannot marry a less fortune, and it is for you to say yea or nay. If you nay me, I shall not be offended. I want Max to settle. I am charmed with your daughter. But, as a gentleman, I must not allow the young people to make an improvident marriage." I can't write the exact words spoken by the Colonel; and, if I could, the written words would not explain his manner. The Colonel was so easy and so familiar, that I could hardly ask for a day to consider. "Not a day, Gummer, but a week. These affairs are not to be decided off-hand. Drop me a line when you have duly weighed the pros and cons, and meantime it will be better for the young people not to meet." CHAPTER XII. COURTING. MRS. GUMMER was in favour of the Colonel's proposal. "It is a big fortune, to be sure, but then we don't want the money. And what is the sense of parents keeping all to themselves till they are dead, when they cannot see their children's enjoyment?" Janet vowed she would not take so much money from me, and was sure that Max did not care for money. Her opposition pleased me, but it also reconciled me to the De Crespin terms. A short note from Maxvowing he was in utter misery because the Colonel had forbidden him to visit Corcyra Villa until Mr. Gummer had resolved whether he (Max) was to be happy or wretched for life-gave Janet a dreadful headache. I knew the cause, and remedy. I did not wait a week, or even two days; and Max and Janet were formally affianced. Farewell to domestic bliss when the daughter is engaged, and the young man comes a-courting. Love-making is mighty pleasant to lovers, but a sour nuisance to other people. It is bad enough in public. You can always tell an engaged couple. The damsel looks so mightily self-contented, and with a simper and a sneer seems to say— "My irresistible charms have triumphed. My lover, who is the best match on earth, loves me better than ever woman was loved since the world began. He trembles with delight when he touches my hand, and would not sell a glove that my hand had touched for all the riches of earth. Keep your distance, good people. We have nothing to do with you, and you have nothing to do with us but to admire and be respectful." The young man puts on the strut of a cratic." His whitey-green eyes were "such a his nails, his hair, and his eyebrows were befooled in like manner. His dress displayed such exquisite taste, and his manners were perfection-"so polished and so aristocratic." Then Max was so clever. If I disagreed with him, Mrs. Gummer and the girls talked at me, and jeered at me; and I had to give in, though I was right and Max was wrong. As the marriage was to take place as soon as the arrangements could be completed, the young people met every evening. "It was not strict etiquette," said the Colonel. But he did not care for etiquette. Perhaps not, when £30,000 was to be landed. by special licence. Two evenings a-week, Janet went to Grammont Lodge; and then, at ten o'clock-wet or fine, cold or genial-I had to turn out and fetch her home. Five evenings a-week, Max was at Corcyra Villa, and those evenings were dreadful. We dined at six o'clock;-not that we liked dining so late, but because it is vulgar to dine earlier. Max arrived at half-past seven. All the while we were dining, Janet was fidgeting to get to her room, so that she might have time to put on extra finish before Max came. The conversation at dinner was about the De Crespins: about what they had said, what they had done, and what they were going to do. If I spoke of the news of the day, no one answered me. I believe if I had told them that the Emperor of Russia had been smuggled through the Custom House in a cask of tallow, and that he had blown up the Parliament and I shall never forget putting on a shirt which had no button on one of the wristbands. Such a trouble had not befallen me since my marriage. I did not lose my temper; but when I came into the breakfastroom, I said— hanged the Lord Mayor, they would not De Crespin servant was two or three times have made a remark, but have gone on talk-a-day at the villa, with notes for Janet. ing about the colour of the ribbon on Miss De Crespin's bonnet. I was not allowed to smoke after dinner, because it is so vulgar to come into the drawing-room smelling of tobacco. Clay pipes were forbidden, and I had to take to meerschaums, which are not fit to smoke until they want cleaning, and I cannot clean pipes. Sitting in the drawing-room was like being at school, with governesses and ushers who had been weaned upon starch, and fed with glue and French cement. Plain sewing was as vulgar as clay pipes, and Mrs. Gummer had to take to fancy work; and though she tried her best, she could never get on with it. In order to conceal her failure, the girls bought her some Berlin wool work nearly finished; and, therefore, when Max looked over the frame, he admired Mrs. Gummer's taste and skill. To see Matilda sitting behind that frame, so stout that she could hardly reach over it, counting the stitches, striving to distinguish the shades, and knowing that what she did at night would have to be taken out in the morning, nettled me. When Max left, I was sure to be reproved for bad behaviour. I usually took up a booknot that I wanted to read, but Janet and Max were not agreeable society. Sometimes they sat on a sofa, talking in a low tone, Max holding Janet's hand as if he were a policeman and she his prisoner. At other times they would play chess. When Janet made a move, Max put his hand on hers to help her, as if the chessmen were too heavy to be moved without assistance. Did I want to look at the love-making? But Matilda and the girls said it was rude to be always reading. Next night I did not read. "Gummer," said Matilda, "the way you have been staring at those poor young things, as if you were a detective watching a murder, brought all the blood of my body into my face. Taking them unawares, instead of coughing before you look round. How would you like to have been took unawares when you were a-courting? But trust you for making the poor dear girl's cup of pleasure tart as stale beer after a thunderstorm." When Max was not at Corcyra Villa, we were kept to company manners; because we were never certain that he would not look in, or that the Colonel, or Mrs. De Crespin, or Max's sisters would not call. Then, the "Mamma, will you sew a button on my wristband?" Our footboy happened to be in the room. When his back was turned, Janet pouted; Nancy exclaimed, "Oh, pa, how can you?" and Mrs. Gummer was gasping with indignation. "What is all this about?" I asked. "About! Oh, Gummer, if you want to kill that poor dear girl, why don't you do it like a man, and put her out of her misery at once? A pretty thing to be gossiped to the Crespin servants. Sew a button on, indeed! Never mind, Janet. Your pa always has sat bang down upon the prospects of his offsprings ever since the hour of his birth, and he will do so until you are dead, buried, and forgotten." "You can't wonder at ma being angry," said Nancy. "It seems as if you had only one shirt to put on." "And as if ma was an eighteenpenny aday plain sewer," added Janet. When I was in my prime, my whiskers were big and bushy; but when they began to whiten I reduced them by shaving, until it became a choice between thin, half-gray tufts on the cheek bones, or not even the pretence of whiskers. Mrs. Gummer, who had an eye for everything about her, noticed my predicament. "Gummer," she said, "it is aggravating that one can't grow old unbeknown to oneself and to others; but I maintain that teeth are far more aggravating than gray hair. Teeth are as useful as noses, and even much more useful. But our noses are born with us, and never bother us, whilst teeth are a world of pain and convulsions in the cutting; and when we have got through that, there comes the worry of the second set; and before one has a thought of being a little on in life, there is decay, racking toothache, and a fortune to spend over false teeth. Why everybody should be put to this suffering, and money out of pocket, instead of our teeth, like our noses, being born with us ready for use and lasting till they are not wanted, just for the sake of keeping a whole tribe of dentists, is |