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a riddle which I defy any mortal tongue to tained in a pamphlet published in the year guess.

1759. It was entitled, “To David Garrick, There are some disagreeables in life of Esq., the Petition of I, on Behalf of Herself which one can see the benefit. Courting and her Sisters. 6d.” Garrick is here charged is one of them. When Janet and Max were with mispronouncing some words, including first engaged, I could not bear the thought the letter I-as “furm” for firm, “vurtue" for of the wedding, and the loss of my girl. I virtue; and others with respect to the letter said that the marriage ought to be put off for E, a sister vowel, as “Hurcules” for Hera year. After a month of the courting, I cules; or E A, as “urth" for earth. The agreed that the young couple should be following epigram was occasioned by its married as soon as the return of Mr. Sparkes publication : "To Dr. H- upon his from India enabled me to complete the set- petition of the letter I to D ---- Esq. tlement.

“ If 'tis true, as you say, that I've injured a letter,

I'll change my notes soon, and I hope for the TABLE TALK.

better. May the just right of letters, as well as of men,

Hereafter be fixed by the tongue and the pen : MOST of us have visited the now famous

Most devoutly I wish that they both have their marine aquarium at the Crystal Palace,

due, and we have all been pleased with the success

And that I may be rever mistaken for U.” of the experiment. But, according to a scientific contemporary, Dr. Anton Dohrn in a letter

A CORRESPONDENT: Having passed most to Professor Agassiz, writes that he has ma

of a long life in courts of law, and felt their tured a plan which has for many years been great inconvenience, I naturally take conin the minds of many zoologists-namely, siderable interest in the question of their that of establishing a large laboratory for reconstruction. In my opinion, a court of marine zoology in the Mediterranean.

justice should be circular; and valuable has obtained permission of the authorities of hints could be obtained from the building of the city of Naples to construct a large build- theatres in reference to the internal arrangeing, at his own expense, in the Villa Reale ments, the stage to be appropriated to the at Naples, close to the sea, containing a judge, with retiring-rooms at the back, and a large aquarium for the public, and extensive side entrance, like the stage door, for the rooms for naturalists of every country. Dr. judge; the pit for the attorneys and barDohrn, with two or three other German risters, witnesses with a separate entrance, zoologists, will settle there, and conduct the and a gallery over the entrance for the mere administration of both the aquarium and spectators. Will Mr. Street consider the progarding this proposed laboratory to be widely priety of constructing his courts on this prinextended, and earnestly invites all who may visit Naples to visit the aquarium.


IT IS CURIOUS to notice how toothache annual report of the work done and progress gradually abates as you get nearer and nearer made at the zoological station will be pub- to the dentist's door. It seems almost as if lished. A committee has already been formed your tooth was an intelligent being which to give further dignity and importance to turned coward when threatened, as bullies this project, consisting of Messrs. Helmholtz, generally do. And, indeed, it would not Dubois-Reymond, Huxley, Darwin, Van be far from the mark to say, that in such a Beneden, &c.; and, in America, Professor case the tooth had been made to underAgassiz.

stand that it was menaced, and had been

frightened by a process of telegraphy beSOME MODERN actors, especially one lumi-tween the mental and physical nerve. nary of the stage who bears a Teutonic name, have been accused of taking oc

READY-MONEY MORTIBOY.- This Novel casional liberties with the Queen's English,

was commenced in No. 210, and can be obtained as it is conventionally pronounced. But through all Booksellers, or by post, from the Office who would have ever dreamt that the im- direct on receipt of stamps. mortal David Garrick could have been guilty of such heresy? Yet such was the

Terms of Subscription for ONCE A WEEK, free by

post : Weekly Numbers for Six Months, 5s. 5d.; case, if we may believe the statements con- Monthly Parts, 5s. 8d.


No. 223.

April 6, 1872.

Price 2d.

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READY-MONEY MORTIBOY. must have slept out often in his travelling A MATTER-OF-FACT STORY.


Then he lit a cigar. Dick had forced a CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH. dozen upon him—which, with that curious

feeling that permits a man to take anything STREET, as Frank except money from another, Frank acstepped into it cepted with real gratitude. With his hands from Dick's hotel, in his pockets, and his hat well back on his was alive with head, as all old Eton boys wear it, he strolled people, for the westward, turning things over in his mind

night was warm in that resignedly amused frame of mind For

and fine. He had which comes upon the most unhappy wight bidden his rich after a bottle and a half of claret. Our ancousin good night, cestors, in their kindly brutality, permitted in his easy and condemned criminals to have a long drink pleasant way. He on the way to Tyburn. The punch-bowl was had never hinted brought out somewhere near the site of the at the sore straits Marble Arch; and the condamné, fortified to which he was and brightened up by the drink, ascended

reduced. Dick the ladder with a jaunty air, and kicked off was rather inclined to believe, from what his shoes before an admiring populace ;-just little information he was able to elicit from as well, it seems to me, as keeping the poor Frank, that Art paid;—that Frank got a man low, and making him feel all his misery living at it, at all events, and was too up to the very last. Frank, having had his proud to be helped when he saw the bowl of punch, was about to embark upon chance of doing well without help. Now, that wild and hopeless voyage of despair, Dick rather admired this phase of Frank's which consists in sailing from port to port, character—as who would not? Yet he re-looking for employment. There are certain solved that, when he saw him the next day, ships to be met with in the different havens he would compel him to disclose the state of the world, which are from time to time to be of his finances and his prospects. While found putting in, “seeking.” They never find. one cousin thought this, the other hesitated From Valparaiso they go to Rio; from Pera moment in front of the hotel, remem-nambuco to Port Louis; from Calcutta to bering suddenly that he had no bed to go Kingston; from Havana to Shanghae. They to. It was a curious sensation, the most are always roving about the ocean, always novel he had ever experienced. No bed. "seeking,” and always in ballast. Who are Nowhere to go to. No money, or next to their owners; how the grizzled old skipper none, in his pocket. Nothing at all resem- keeps his crew together; how they pay for bling a home. Even a portable tent, or a the pickled pork and rum, in which they Rob Roy canoe, would have been something. delight; how they have credit for repairs He shook himself all over, like a dog. Then to rigging and sails; how the ship is docked, he laughed, for he had had a capital day, and scraped, and kept afloat-all these and a good dinner; and he was only five things are a profound mystery. After a and twenty,

time, as I have reason for believing, they “Hang it,” he said, “a night in the open disappear; but this must be when there is won't kill one, I suppose. Dick Mortiboy no longer any credit possible, and all the

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NO. 223


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ports in the world are closed to them. Then gesture of despair. “Give me something. the skipper calls together his men, makes I am desperately poor." the weather-beaten tårs a speech, tells them Frank put sixpence into his hand, and that their long and happy voyages must now passed on. terminate, because there is no more pickled Only six bob now," he thought. pork and no more rum, and discloses to Women—those dreadful women, all alike, them his long-hidden secret. They cheer who belong to certain districts of London, feebly, set the sails once more, turn her and appear only late at night-begged of head due North, and steer away to that him. These women must form a class pecuwarm, windless, iceless ocean at the North liar to themselves. They are neither old Pole, where all vagrom ships betake them- nor young. They carry a baby. They are selves at last, and live together in peace dressed in rusty black. They bear in one and harmony far from the storms of the hand three boxes of cigar lights. They adworld.

dress you as "good gentleman," and claim to Which things are an allegory. Ships are have six starving babies at home, and nobut as men. The North Pole ocean is as thing to put in their mouths. Then the that hidden deep where dwell the men who boys with cigar lights, ran after him; and

gone under.” They “go under” then more sturdy beggars, more women, and every day, falling off at each reverse more more boys. and more from the paths of honesty. One He walked on. Ita struck ten. Erank's of them called on me a week ago. I had cigar was finished. Just then he passedmet him once at Oxford, years since. He it was in one of those dingy, characterless shook hands with me as with his oldest and streets, near the great squares — a lowbest friend; he sat down; he drank my browed, retiring-looking public house. From sherry; he called me old fellow; and pre- its doors issued the refrain of a song, the sently, when he thought my heart was open clinking of glasses, and stamping of feet. to the soft influence of pity, he told me his Frank stopped. tale, and—borrowed thirty shillings. He “I've got exactly six shillings," he said. went away. Of course, I found that his tale “I may surely have a glass of beer out of was all false. He is welcome to his thirty that.” shillings, with which I have earned the right He went in, and drank his glass. As he of shutting my door in the face of a man who drank it, another song, horribly sung, began has gone under.

in the room behind the bar. Was Frank thinking of all this as he walked “Like to go in, sir?" asked the barmaid. through the squares that clear, bright night, “It's quite full.. We hold it every Monday among the houses lit up for balls, and the evening." carriages bearing their precious treasures of Frank thought he might as well sit down, dainty women? I know not. The thoughts and see what was going on-particularly as of a man who has but six and sixpence in there appeared to be no charge for admishis pocket, and no bed to go to, are like sion. a child's. They are long, long thoughts. If it It was a long, low room at the back, filled is cold and rainy, if he is hungry or ill, he with about thirty men, chiefly petty tradesdespairs and blasphemes. If it is bright men of the neighbourhood. Every man was and warm, if he is well-fed and young, he smoking a long clay pipe, and had a tumbler laughs and sings, with a secret, half-felt sink- before him. Every man was perfectly sober, ing of the heart, and looking forward to evil and wore an air of solemnity exceedingly times close at hand.

comic. One of the men—the most solemn Along the squares, outside the great and the most comic-occupied the chair. houses—where the rich, and therefore happy, By his right stood a piano, where a palewere dancing and feasting, thinking little faced boy of eighteen or so was playing acenough (why should they?) about the poor, companiments to the songs. A gentleman and therefore miserable, outside—beggars with a red face and white hair was sitting came up to Frank. One old man, who well back in his chair, holding his pipe looked as if he had been a gentleman, stood straight out before him, chanting with trein front of him suddenly.

mendous emphasis and some difficulty-be“Give me something,” he said, bringing cause he was short of breath. This, and not his clenched fists down at his sides in a an imperfect education, caused him to ac


centuate his aspirates more strongly than Cambridge, and used to sing at wines and was actually required


"It's only a very little thing," he said, “Hol the ma-haids of me-herry Hengle-land, . How be-hew-ti-ful hare they?"

addressing the audience generally. “If you

don't like it, pray stop me at the first verse. Somewhat apart from the rest, not at the It never had a name.” table—as if he did not belong to them

“ There was Kate, with an eye like a hawk; sat a man of entirely different appearance. There was Blanche, with an eye like a fawn; He was gorgeously attired in a brown velvet There was Lotty, as fresh as the rose on its stalk; coat and white waistcoat, with a great pro- And Lucy, as bright as the dawn. fusion of gold chain and studs. He was

There were Polly, and Dolly, and Jessie, and Rose,

They were fair, they were dark, they were short, about five and forty years of age. His fea

they were tall; tures were highly Jewish, with the full lips

I changed like a weathercock when the wind blows, and large nose of that Semitic race. His For I loved them all and I loved them all. hair, full and black, lay in massive rolls on Like the showers and sunshine of spring, an enormous great head—the biggest head, The quarrels and kisses I had; Frank thought, that he had ever seen. In

Like a forest-bird fledgeling trying its wing, his hand, big in proportion, was a tumbler

Is the fight of the heart of a lad.

Oh! Rosie and Lotty, and Jessie and Kate, of iced soda and brandy. He was smoking

How love vows perish, and promises fall! a cigar, and beating time impatiently on the You were all pledged to me, and I wasn't your arm of his chair.

fate; Frank sat modestly beside him, and or

But I loved you all—and I loved you all. dered another glass of beer.

“ 'T was Jessie I kissed in the wood, “ Know this place, sir ?." asked the man

And Lotty kissed me in the lane;

But Rosie held out, as a young maiden should, with the big head, turning to him.

Till she found I'd not ask her again. “ Never saw it before,” said Frank.

Now they're married, and mothers, and all, “ No more did I. Queer crib, isn't it? And 'tis Lucy clings close to my breast; I turned in by accident, because I was thirsty.

And we never tell her, what we never recallThey'll ask you to sing directly. Do, if you

For I love my wife-how I loved the rest.” can.'

“Bravo!" growled the man with the big The “Maids of Merry England” died head. “Bravo! young fellow. Devilish well away in the last bars which those who were sung." behind time added to the original melody; "Sir," said the chairman, “your health and the chairman, taking up his tumbler, and song." bowed to the singer, and said solemnly- “Don't get up," said Bighead; "sing

“Mr. Pipkin, sir, your health and song." another. Look here, sing that. Mr. Chair

The company all did the same. Mr. Pip- man, the gentleman's going to sing another kin wiped his brow, and took a long pull at song." his gin and water.

It was “Adelaïde," that supreme tenor “ Now," said the chairman, persuasively, song the song of songs

that the man “who is going to oblige the company with handed to Frank. He took it from a portthe next song?”

folio which was standing beside him. Dead silence.

“Yes,” he said, nodding, “ I'm a sort of “Perhaps one of the visitors "-here he professional, and I know a good voice when looked at Frank—"will oblige us ?" I hear it. Can you play the accompaniment? “ If you can sing, do," growled Bighead. If not, I will."

Really,” said Frank, “I am afraid I Frank yielded him the seat, and took the hardly know any song that would please; music. Yes, he could sing " Adelaïde.” But but, if you like, I will sing a little thing I how long since he sang it last ! Andah made myself once, words and music too." me!-in what altered circumstances !

Hear, hear!" said the chair. “Silence, But he sang. With all the sweetness and if you please, gentlemen, for the gentle- power of his voice he filled the room—laden man's song. Gentlemen, he's written it him with the air of so many pipes and reeking self.

tumblers—with the yearnings of passion, Frank took the place of the pale-cheeked which have never found such utterance as musician, and played his prelude. He was in that great song. The honest folk behind going to sing a song which he made at I their pipes sat in amazement, half compre


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hending—but only half. The barmaid crept got into a hole—whether it's money or what from behind the counter to the door, and it is. On the boards, nobody cares much.”

she went back with tears in her eyes, and a thing, so far as I am concerned,” said Frank, throbbing heart. She was not too old to proudly. feel the yearning after love. The pale-faced “So much the better. Then no offence. young musician listened till his cheeks When will you come?” glowed and his eyes brightened: the poor “I will look for occupation to-morrow boy had dreams beyond his miserable sur- and next day. If I don't get it, I will call roundings. The player--the big-headed man on you on the evening of that day.”

as he played, wagged his head, and shook "Wednesday evening. Good. Of course his curls, and let the tears roll down his you won't get anything to do. How should great big nose, and drop upon the keys. you? Nobody ever gets anything to do. For Frank, forgetting where he was, and re- Good night, my dear sir. For heaven's sake, membering his love, and how he sang that take care of your throat. Do wrap it up. song last to her, poured out his heart into Let me lend you a wrapper.” the notes, and sang as one inspired.

He took a clean red silk handkerchief

out of his pocket, unfolded it, and wrapped “Come with me,” said Bighead, seizing it round Frank's throat, tenderly and softly. him by the arm as soon as he had finished. In the eyes of the big-headed man, Frank's “Come away. Let us talk, you and I-let voice was a fortune. us talk."

“Good heavens! if anything were to hapHe dragged him into the street. The pen to an organ like that from exposure! clocks were striking twelve.

Are you going to smoke again? Then take “Which is your way?"

one of my cigars—they must be better than “Which is yours?” said Frank.

yours.” The man moved his fat forefinger slowly “Mine are good enough, I think,” said round his head in a complete circle. Frank, laughing, offering him one.

“All ways," he said. “Let me walk part “Let me look-let me look. Yes, they're of your way."

very fair. Don't smoke too much. And Frank turned to the left. It mattered and" here he held out his hand—“Goodnothing.

bye-good-bye. Mind you come on Wed“Are you rich?—you are a gentleman, I nesday. For heaven's sake, take care." see—but are you rich, happy, satisfied, con- He strode away, leaving his red silk handtented, money in your pocket, money in the kerchief round Frank's neck; and presently bank, therefore virtuous and respected?" Frank heard him hail a Hansom in stentorian

“No-I am none of these things.” tones, and drive off. Then he was left alone,

“Then make yourself all these. Sing for and began to feel a little cold, as if the weamoney. Go on the stage. Good God, man! ther had suddenly changed.

-Giuglini himself had not so sweet a voice. Give me your name and address.” Frank


, then, take mine." He HALF-PAST twelve. Theairof the streets . a card

“Will you come and see is close and stifling. The Mall, St. me? That can do you no harm, you know. James's Park, is still crowded. No wonder; Come.”

for the air of the park is fresh, and the moon“Candidly," said Frank, “I am looking light lies soft and bright on the trees. Frank for employment. But I would rather not slowly descends the steps at the Duke of sing for money."

York's column, and proceeds to search for a "Rubbish! I've done it. I've sung se- resting-place. All the seats appear to be cond basso at the Italian Opera. Not sing full, some of them occupied by men stretched for money! Why not? You'd write for at full length, others by women sitting two money, I suppose? You'd paint for money? and three together. All the way to BuckWhy not sing? Now, come and pay me a ingham Palace there is not a single chance visit, and talk it over.'

even of sitting room. “I must look about first. Are you really “Very odd,” said Frank, returning, “that serious?"

the same idea should strike all these people “Quite. I don't care how it is you've | as well as myself. What is to be done next?”

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