1758. Et. 30. style, with its simple air of authorship, is eminently good and happy. The assumption of a kind of sturdy independence, the playful admission of well-known faults, and the incidental slight confession of sorrows, have graceful relation to the person addressed, and the terms on which they stood of old. His uncle was now in a hopeless state of living death, from which, in a few months, the grave released him; and to this the letter affectingly refers. "TO MRS. JANE LAWDER. "If you should ask, why in an interval of so many years, you never "heard from me, permit me, madam, to ask the same question. I have "the best excuse in recrimination. I wrote to Kilmore from Leyden "in Holland, from Louvain in Flanders, and Rouen in France, but "received no answer. To what could I attribute this silence but to dis"pleasure or forgetfulness? Whether I was right in my conjecture I "do not pretend to determine; but this I must ingenuously own, that I "have a thousand times in my turn endeavoured to forget them, whom 'I could not but look upon as forgetting me. I have attempted to blot "their names from my memory, and, I confess it, spent whole days in "efforts to tear their image from my heart. Could I have succeeded, you had not now been troubled with this renewal of a discontinued correspondence; but, as every effort the restless make to procure "sleep serves but to keep them waking, all my attempts contributed to "impress what I would forget deeper on my imagination. But this "subject I would willingly turn from, and yet, 'for the soul of me,' I "can't till I have said all. "I was, madam, when I discontinued writing to Kilmore, in such "circumstances, that all my endeavours to continue your regards might "be attributed to wrong motives. My letters might be looked upon as the petitions of a beggar, and not the offerings of a friend; while "all my professions, instead of being considered as the result of dis"interested esteem, might be ascribed to venal insincerity. I believe "indeed you had too much generosity to place them in such a light, "but I could not bear even the shadow of such a suspicion. The "most delicate friendships are always most sensible of the slightest "invasion, and the strongest jealousy is ever attendant ou the warmest regard. I could not-I own I could not-continue a correspondence; " for every acknowledgment for past favours might be considered as "an indirect request for future ones, and where it might be thought "I gave my heart from a motive of gratitude alone, when I was "conscious of having bestowed it on much more disinterested principles. "It is true, this conduct might have been simple enough, but yourself "must confess it was in character. Those who know me at all know "that I have always been actuated by different principles from the "rest of mankind, and while none regarded the interest of his friend "more, no man on earth regarded his own less. I have often affected "bluntness to avoid the imputation of flattery, have frequently seemed "to overlook those merits too obvious to escape notice, and pretended "disregard to those instances of good nature and good sense, which I "could not fail tacitly to applaud; and all this lest I should be ranked "amongst the grinning tribe, who say 'very true' to all that is said, "who fill a vacant chair at a tea-table, whose narrow souls never moved "in a wider circle than the circumference of a guinea, and who had "rather be reckoning the money in your pocket than the virtue of "your breast. All this, I say, I have done, and a thousand other very "silly though very disinterested things in my time, and for all which "no soul cares a farthing about me. God's curse, madam! is it to be wondered, that he should once in his life forget you, who has been all "his life forgetting himself? 66 "However it is probable you may one of those days see me turned "into a perfect hunks, and as dark and intricate as a mouse-hole. "I have already given my landlady orders for an entire reform in "the state of my finances. I declaim against hot suppers, drink less 'sugar in my tea, and check my grate with brickbats. Instead "of hanging my room with pictures, I intend to adorn it with "maxims of frugality. Those will make pretty furniture enough, "and won't be a bit too expensive; for I shall draw them all out "with my own hands, and my landlady's daughter shall frame "them with the parings of my black waistcoat. Each maxim is "to be inscribed on a sheet of clean paper, and wrote with my best "pen; of which the following will serve as a specimen. Look "sharp: Mind the main chance; Money is money now; If you have a "thousand pounds you can put your hands by your sides, and say you "are worth a thousand pounds every day of the year; Take a farthing "from a hundred, and it will be a hundred no longer. Thus, which way "soever I turn my eyes, they are sure to meet one of those friendly "monitors; and as we are told of an actor who hung his room round "with looking-glass to correct the defects of his person, my apartment 1758. Æt. 30. 1758. Æt. 30. "shall be furnished in a peculiar manner, to correct the errors of my "mind. “Faith! Madam, I heartily wish to be rich, if it were only for "this reason, to say without a blush how much I esteem you; "but, alas! I have many a fatigue to encounter before that happy time "comes, when your poor old simple friend may again give a loose to the "luxuriance of his nature, sitting by Kilmore fire-side, recount the "various adventures of a hard-fought life, laugh over the follies of "the day, join his flute to your harpsichord, and forget that ever "he starved in those streets where Butler and Otway starved before "him. "And now I mention those great names-My uncle !-he is no more "that soul of fire as when once I knew him. Newton and Swift grew "dim with age as well as he. But what shall I say?—his mind was "too active an inhabitant not to disorder the feeble mansion of its "abode; for the richest jewels soonest wear their settings. Yet who "but the fool would lament his condition! He now forgets the "calamities of life. Perhaps indulgent heaven has given him a fore"taste of that tranquillity here, which he so well deserves hereafter. "But I must come to business; for business, as one of my maxims "tells me, must be minded or lost. I am going to publish in London, a "book entitled The Present State of Taste and Literature in Europe. The "booksellers in Ireland republish every performance there without "making the author any consideration. I would, in this respect, dis"appoint their avarice, and have all the profits of my labour to myself. "I must therefore request Mr. Lawder to circulate among his friends "and acquaintances a hundred of my proposals, which I have given the "bookseller, Mr. Bradley in Dame Street, directions to send to him. If "in pursuance of such circulation, he should receive any subscriptions, "I entreat when collected they may be sent to Mr. Bradley as afore"said, who will give a receipt, and be accountable for the work, or a "return of the subscription. If this request (which, if it be complied "with, will in some measure be an encouragement to a man of learning) "should be disagreeable or troublesome, I would not press it; for I "would be the last man on earth to have my labours go a-begging; "but if I know Mr. Lawder (and sure I ought to know him), he will "accept the employment with pleasure. All I can say-if he writes "a book, I will get him two hundred subscribers, and those of the "best wits in Europe. "Whether this request is complied with or not, I shall not be uneasy ; "but there is one petition I must make to him and to you, which I "solicit with the warmest ardour, and in which I cannot bear a "Your ever affectionate and obliged kinsman, "OLIVER GOLDSMITH. "Now see how I blot and blunder, when I am asking a favour." In none of these letters, it will be observed, is allusion made to the expected appointment. To make jesting boast of a visionary influence with two hundred of the best wits in Europe, was pleasanter than to make grave confession of himself as a wit taking sudden flight from the scene of defeat and failure. It was the old besetting weakness. But shortly after the date of the last letter, the appointment was received. It was that of medical officer to one of the factories on the coast of Coromandel; was forwarded by Doctor Milner's friend Mr. Jones, the East India director; and the worthy schoolmaster did not outlive more than a few weeks this honest redemption of his promise. The desired escape was at last effected, and the booksellers might look around them for another drudge more patient and obedient than Oliver Goldsmith. 1758. Æt. 30. CHAPTER IV. 1758. Æt. 30. ESCAPE PREVENTED. 1758. It was now absolutely necessary that the proposed change in Goldsmith's life should be broken to his Irish friends; and he wrote to his brother Henry. The letter (which contained also the design of a heroi-comical poem at which he had been occasionally working), is lost; but some passages of one of nearly the same date to Mr. Hodson, have had a better fortune. "Dear Sir," it began, in obvious allusion to some staid and rather gratuitous reproach from the prosperous brother-inlaw, "You cannot expect regularity in one who is regular in nothing. Nay, were I forced to love you by rule, I dare "venture to say that I could never do it sincerely. 66 'me, then, with all my faults. Take Let me write when I please, please, and am only thinking "for you see I say what I 66 |