correspondence herself twelve months after. The tenor of her letter was, that although she could not love me, she desired my friendship. Friendship is a dangerous word for young ladies; it is love fullfledged, and waiting for a fine day to fly. "It had been predicted, by Mrs. Williams, that twenty-seven was to be a dangerous age for me. The fortunetelling witch was right; it was destined to prove so. I shall never forget the 2d of January! Lady Byron (Byrn, he pronounced it) was the only unconcerned person present; Lady Noel, her mother, cried; I trembled like a leaf, made the wrong responses, and after the ceremony called her Miss Millbank. "There is a singular history attached to the ring. The very day the match was concluded, a ring of my mother's, that had been lost, was dug up by the gardener at Newstead. I thought it was sent on purpose for the wedding; but my mother's marriage had not been a fortunate one, and this ring was doomed to be the seal of an unhappier union still.* "After the ordeal was over, we set off for a country seat of Sir Ralph's, and I was surprised at the arrangements for the journey, and somewhat out of humour to find a lady's-maid stuck between me and my bride. It was rather too early to assume the husband; so I was forced to submit, but it was not with a very good grace. Put yourself in a similar situation, and tell me if I had not some reason to be in the sulks. I have been accused of saying, on get Which, being the damned'st part of matrimony—” Don Juan, Canto IX. Stanza 70. ting into the carriage, that I had married Lady Byron out of spite, and because she had refused me twice. Though I was for a moment vexed at her prudery, or whatever you may choose to call it, if I had made so uncavalier, not to say brutal a speech, I am convinced Lady Byron would instantly have left the carriage to me and the maid (I mean the lady's). She had spirit enough to have done so, and would properly have resented the affront. "Our honeymoon was not all sunshine; it had its clouds and Hobhouse has some letters which would serve to explain the rise and fall in the barometer,but it was never down at zero. "You tell me the world says I married Miss Millbank for her fortune, because she was a great heiress. All I have ever received, or am likely to receive, (and that has been twice paid back too,) was 10,000l. My own income at this period was small, and somewhat bespoke. Newstead was a very unprofitable estate, and brought me in a bare 1500l. ayear; the Lancashire property was hampered with a lawsuit, which has cost me 14,000l., and is not yet finished. "We had a house in town, gave dinner parties, had separate carriages, and launched into every sort of extravagance. This could not last long. My wife's 10,000l. soon melted away. I was beset by duns, and at length an execution was levied, and the bailiffs put in possession of the very beds we had to sleep on. This was no very agreeable state of af fairs-no very pleasant scene for Lady Byron to witness; and it was agreed she should pay her father a visit till the storm had blown over, and some arrange ments had been made with my creditors. You may suppose on what terms we parted, from the style of a letter she wrote me on the road: you will think it began ridiculously enough- Dear Duck !'* "Imagine my astonishment to receive, immediately on her arrival in London, a few lines from her father, of a very dry and unaffectionate nature, beginning' Sir,' and ending with saying that his daughter should never see me again. "In my reply I disclaimed his authority as a parent over my wife, and told him I was convinced the sentiments expressed were his, not hers. Another post, however, brought me a confirmation (under her own hand and seal) of her father's sentence. I afterwards learnt from Fletcher's (my valet's) wife, who was at that time femme-de-chambre to Lady Byron, that after her definite resolution was taken, and the fatal letter consigned to the post-office, she sent to withdraw it, and was in hysterics of joy that it was not too late. It seems, however, that they did not last long, or that she was afterwards over-persuaded to forward it. There can be no doubt that the influence of her enemies prevailed over her affection for me. You ask me if no cause was assigned for this sudden resolution?-if I formed no conjecture about the cause? I will tell you. "I have prejudices about women: I do not like to see them eat. Rousseau makes Julie un peu gourmande; but that is not at all according to my taste. I do not like to be interrupted when I am writing. Lady Byron did not attend to these whims of mine. *Shelley, who knew this story, used to say these two words would look odd in an Italian translation, Anitra carissima, The only harsh thing I ever remember saying to her was one evening shortly before our parting. I was standing before the fire, ruminating upon the embarrassment of my affairs, and other annoyances, when Lady Byron came up to me and said, 'Byron, am I in your way?' to which I replied, damnably!' I was afterwards sorry, and reproached myself for the expression: but it escaped me unconsciously-involuntarily; I hardly knew what I said. "I heard afterwards that Mrs. Charlment had been the means of poisoning Lady Noel's mind against me; that she had employed herself and others in watching me in London, and had reported having traced me into a house in Portland-place. There was one act of which I might justly have complained, and which was unworthy of any one but such a confidante: I allude to the breaking open my writingdesk. A book was found in it that did not do much credit to my taste in literature; and some letters from a married woman with whom I had been intimate before my marriage. The use that was made of the latter was most unjustifiable, whatever may be thought of the breach of confidence that led to their discovery. Lady Byron sent them to the husband of the lady, who had the good sense to take no notice of their contents. The gravest accusation that has been made against me is that of having intrigued with Mrs. Mardyn in my own house; introduced her to my own table, &c. There never was a more unfounded calumny. Being on the committee of Drurylane Theatre, I have no doubt that several actresses called on me: but as to Mrs. Mardyn, who was a beautiful woman, and might have been a dangerous visitress, I was scarcely acquainted (to speak) with her. I might even make a more serious charge against — than employing spies to watch sus I had been shut up in a dark street in London, writing (I think he said) The Siege of Corinth,' and had refused myself to every one till it was finished. I was surprised one day by a Doctor and a Lawyer almost forcing themselves at the same time into my room. I did not know till afterwards the real object of their visit. I thought their questions singular, frivolous, and somewhat importunate, if not impertinent: but what should I have thought, if I had known that they were sent to provide proofs of my insanity? * * * (†) "For Aez called some druggists and physicians, tried to prove her loving lord was mad; "But as he had some lucid intermissions, Yet when they asked her for her depositions, Required this conduct,-which seem'd very odd. "She kept a journal where his faults were noted, Don Juan, Canto I. Stanzas 27 and 28. |