The Poetical Works of Alexander Pope

A Joke on JEKYL1, or some odd Old Whig
Who never chang'd his Principle, or Wig:
A Patriot is a Fool in ev'ry age,

Whom all Lord Chamberlains allow the Stage:

These nothing hurts; they keep their Fashion still,
And wear their strange old Virtue, as they will.
If any ask you, "Who's the Man, so near

"His Prince, that writes in Verse, and has his ear?"
Why, answer, LYTTELTON, and I'll engage
The worthy Youth shall ne'er be in a rage;
But were his Verses vile, his Whisper base,
You'd quickly find him in Lord Fanny's case.
Sejanus, Wolsey 4, hurt not honest FLEURY 5,
But well may put some Statesmen in a fury.
Laugh then at any, but at Fools or Foes;
These you but anger, and you mend not those.

Laugh at your friends, and, if your Friends are sore,
So much the better, you may laugh the more.
To Vice and Folly to confine the jest,

Sets half the world, God knows, against the rest;
Did not the Sneer of more impartial men
At Sense and Virtue, balance all again.
Judicious Wits spread wide the Ridicule,
And charitably comfort Knave and Fool."

P. Dear Sir, forgive the Prejudice of Youth:
Adieu Distinction, Satire, Warmth, and Truth!
Come, harmless Characters, that no one hit;
Come, Henley's Oratory, Osborne's 6 Wit!
The Honey dropping from Favonio's tongue,
The Flow'rs of Bubo, and the Flow of Y-ng 7!
The gracious Dew of Pulpit Eloquence,
And all the well-whipt Cream of Courtly Sense,
That First was H-vy's, F-'s next, and then
The S-te's, and then H-vy's once again.
O come, that easy Ciceronian style 9,

A Joke on Jekyl,] Sir Joseph Jekyl, Master of the Rolls, a true Whig in his principles, and a man of the utmost probity. He sometimes voted against the Court, which drew upon him the laugh here described of ONE who bestowed it equally upon Religion and Honesty. He died a few months after the publication of this poem. P.

2 These nothing hurts;] i. e. offends. Warburton.

3 Why, answer, Lyttelton,] George Lyttelton, Secretary to the Prince of Wales, distinguished both for his writings and speeches in the spirit of Liberty. P. [V. Im. of Hor. Bk. 1. Ep. i. v. 29.]

4 Sejanus, Wolsey,] The one the wicked minister of Tiberius; the other, of Henry VIII. The writers against the Court usually bestowed these and other odious names on the Minister, without distinction, and in the most injurious manner. See Dial. II. V. 137. P.

5 Fleury,] Cardinal: and Minister to Louis

бо

XV. It was a Patriot-fashion, at that time, to cry up his wisdom and honesty. P.

6 Henley-Osborne] See them in their places in the Dunciad. P.

7 [Sir William Yonge, not, as Bowles conjectures to be possible, Dr Edward Young, author of The Night Thoughts, although to the latter Doddington (Bubo) was a constant friend].

8 The gracious Dew] Alludes to some court sermons, and florid panegyrical speeches; particularly one very full of puerilities and flatteries; which afterwards got into an address in the same pretty style; and was lastly served up in an Epitaph, between Latin and English, published, by its author. P. An 'Epitaph' on Queen Caroline was written by Lord Hervey, and an address moved in the House of Commons (the Senate) on the occasion by H. Fox. Carruthers.

9 that easy Ciceronian style,] A joke upon absurd Imitators; who in light and familiar compositions, which require ease, affect a Ciceronian

So Latin, yet so English all the while,
As, tho' the Pride of Middleton1 and Bland 2,
All Boys may read, and Girls may understand!
Then might I sing, without the least offence,
And all I sung should be the Nation's Sense 3;
Or teach the melancholy Muse to mourn,
Hang the sad Verse on CAROLINA'S Urn,
And hail her passage to the Realms of Rest,
All Parts perform'd, and all her Children blest!
So-Satire is no more-I feel it die-
No Gazetteer more innocent than I5—

And let, a' God's name, ev'ry Fool and Knave
Be grac'd thro' Life, and flatter'd in his Grave.

F. Why so? if Satire knows its Time and Place,

You still may lash the greatest-in Disgrace :

For Merit will by turns forsake them all;

Would you know when? exactly when they fall.
But let all Satire in all Changes spare
Immortal S-k, and grave De-re 6.

Silent and soft, as Saints remove to Heav'n,

All Ties dissolv'd and ev'ry Sin forgiv'n,

These may some gentle ministerial Wing
Receive, and place for ever near a King!

There, where no Passion, Pride, or Shame transport,
Lull'd with the sweet Nepenthe of a Court;
There, where no Father's, Brother's, Friend's disgrace
Once break their rest, or stir them from their Place:
But past the Sense of human Miseries,

100

All Tears are wip'd for ever from all eyes 7;
No cheek is known to blush, no heart to throb,
Save when they lose a Question, or a Job.

P. Good Heav'n forbid, that I should blast their glory,
Who know how like Whig Ministers to Tory,
And, when three Sov'reigns died, could scarce be vext,
Consid'ring what a gracious Prince was next.
Have I, in silent wonder, seen such things
As Pride in Slaves, and Avarice in Kings;
And at a Peer, or Peeress, shall I fret,

105

ΠΟ

Sir

Secretary of State's office, to write the government's newspaper, published by authority. Richard Steele had once this post. Warburton.

6 Immortal S-k, and grave De-re!] A title given that Lord by King James II. He was of the Bedchamber to King William; he was so to King George I.; he was so to King George II. This Lord was very skilful in all the forms of the House, in which he discharged himself with great gravity. P. Pope alludes to Charles Hamilton, third son of the Duke of Hamilton, who was created Earl of Selkirk in 1667. Bowles. [Is Lord Delaware the other?] [Cf. Messiah, v. 46-a line altered at Steele's request.]

Who starves a Sister, or forswears a Debt1?
Virtue, I grant you, is an empty boast;
But shall the Dignity of Vice be lost?

Ye Gods! shall Cibber's Son, without rebuke,

115

Swear like a Lord, or Rich3 out-whore a Duke 4?

A Fav'rite's Porter with his Master vie,

Be brib'd as often, and as often lie?

Shall Ward 5 draw Contracts with a Statesman's skill?

Or Japhet pocket, like his Grace, a Will?

Is it for Bond7, or Peter, (paltry things)

I20

To pay their Debts, or keep their Faith, like Kings?
If Blount despatch'd himself, he play'd the man,
And so may'st thou, illustrious Passeran 9 !
But shall a Printer, weary of his life,

125

Learn, from their Books, to hang himself and Wife 10?
This, this, my friend, I cannot, must not bear;
Vice thus abus'd, demands a Nation's care;
This calls the Church to deprecate our Sin11,

And hurls the Thunder of the Laws on Gin 12.
Let modest FOSTER, if he will, excel

130

Ten Metropolitans in preaching well 13;
A simple Quaker, or a Quaker's Wife 14,
Out-do Llandaff 15 in Doctrine,-yea in Life:

1 In some editions,

Who starves a Mother,- Warburton.

I have been informed that these verses related to Lady M. W. Montagu and her sister the Countess of Mar. Bowles. [This charge against Lady M. W. M. rests on the scandal of Horace Walpole, in one of his letters to Sir H. Mann. She is there accused of having treated her sister hardly, while the latter was out of her senses, and of having frightened a Frenchman of the name of Ruzemonde (who had entrusted her with a large sum of money to buy stock for him) out of England by threats of betraying her intrigue with him, first to her husband, then to her brother-in-law. Lord Wharncliffe, in the Appendix to Vol. III. of his Letters and Works of Lady M. W M., states that the former accusation is utterly unfounded, and shews that the latter rests on a perversion of facts.]

2 Virtue, I grant you, is an empty boast;] A satirical ambiguity-either that those starve who have it, or that those who boast of it, have it not: and both together (he insinuates) make up the present state of modern virtue. War

burton.

3 Cibber's Son,-Rich] Two Players: look for them in the Dunciad. P. [Rich, Iv. 261. was the lessee of Covent-Garden theatre.]

4 Swear like a Lord-or out-whore a Duke?] Elegance demands that these should be two proverbial expressions. To swear like a Lord is so. But to out-whore a Duke certainly is not. However this shews that the continence and conjugal virtues of the higher nobility must needs be very exemplary. SCRIBL.

5 [Čf. Moral Essays, Ep. III. v. 20.]

6 [Cf. 16. v. 86.]

[Cf. Dunciad, III. v. 126.]

8 If Blount] Author of an impious and foolish book called the Oracles of Reason, who being in love with a near kinswoman of his, and rejected, gave himself a stab in the arm, as pretending to kill himself, of the consequence of which he really died. P.

9 Passeran!] Author of another book of the same stamp, called A philosophical discourse on death, being a defence of suicide. He was a nobleman of Piedmont, banished from his country for his impieties, and lived in the utmost misery, yet feared to practise his own precepts; and at last died a penitent. Warburton.

10 But shall a Printer, &c.] A Fact that happened in London a few years past. The unhappy man left behind him a paper justifying his action by the reasonings of some of these authors. P.

11 This calls the Church to deprecate our Sin,] Alluding to the forms of prayer, composed in the times of public calamity; where the fault is generally laid upon the People. Warburton.

12 Gin. A spirituous liquor, the exorbitant use of which had almost destroyed the lowest rank of the People till it was restrained by an act of Parliament in 1736. P.

13 An eloquent and persuasive preacher, who wrote an excellent Defence of Christianity against Tindal. Warton.

14 Mrs Drummond, celebrated in her time. Warton.

15 Llandaff] A poor Bishoprick in Wales, as poorly supplied. P. By Dr John Harris. Carruthers.

Let humble ALLEN', with an awkward Shame,
Do good by stealth, and blush to find it Fame.

Virtue may choose the high or low Degree,

'Tis just alike to Virtue, and to me;
Dwell in a Monk, or light upon a King,
She's still the same, belov'd, contented thing.
Vice is undone, if she forgets her Birth,

And stoops from Angels to the Dregs of Earth:
But 'tis the Fall degrades her to a Whore;
Let Greatness own her, and she's mean no more2;
Her Birth, her Beauty, Crowds and Courts confess;
Chaste Matrons praise her, and grave Bishops bless;
In golden Chains the willing World she draws,
And hers the Gospel is, and hers the Laws,
Mounts the Tribunal, lifts her scarlet head,
And sees pale Virtue carted in her stead.
Lo! at the wheels of her Triumphal Car,

135

140

145

150

Old England's Genius, rough with many a Scar,
Dragg'd in the dust! his arms hang idly round,
His Flag inverted trails along the ground!
Our Youth, all livery'd o'er with foreign Gold,
Before her dance: behind her crawl the Old!
See thronging Millions to the Pagod run,
And offer Country, Parent, Wife, or Son!

155

Hear her black Trumpet thro' the Land proclaim,
That NOT TO BE CORRUPTED IS THE SHAME.
In Soldier, Churchman, Patriot, Man in Pow'r,

160

'Tis Av'rice all, Ambition is no more!
See, all our Nobles begging to be Slaves!
See, all our Fools aspiring to be Knaves!

The Wit of Cheats, the Courage of a Whore,

165

Are what ten thousand envy and adore;
All, all look up, with reverential Awe,

At Crimes that 'scape, or triumph o'er the Law;
While Truth, Worth, Wisdom, daily they decry-
"Nothing is Sacred now but Villainy."

Yet may this Verse (if such a Verse remain)
Shew, there was one who held it in disdain.

170

FR.

DIALOGUE II.

IS all a Libel-Paxton 3 (Sir) will say.

'TIS P. Not yet, my Friend! to-morrow 'faith it may;

And for that very cause I print to-day.

[Ralph Allen, of Prior Park, an intimate friend and constant correspondent of Pope's, to whom he performed many kind services. He was afterwards a munificent patron to Fielding. Of his charitable habits there is evidence in Pope's Will.]

[Said by Warburton to refer to the Empress

}

Theodora, the wife of Justinian, though Gibbon is sceptical as to the intended allusion]

3 Paxton] Late solicitor to the Treasury. Warburton. [Cf. infra, v. 141. He was, according to Carruthers, deeply involved in the charges against Sir R. Walpole; and temporarily imprisoned.]

How should I fret to mangle ev'ry line,
In rev'rence to the Sins of Thirty nine1!
Vice with such Giant strides comes on amain,
Invention strives to be before in vain;

Feign what I will, and paint it e'er so strong,
Some rising Genius sins up to my Song.

F. Yet none but you by Name the guilty lash;
Ev'n Guthry3 saves half Newgate by a Dash.

Spare then the Person, and expose the Vice.

P. How, Sir? not damn the Sharper, but the Dice?

Come on then, Satire! gen'ral, unconfin'd,

Spread thy broad wing, and souse on all the kind.

Ye Statesmen, Priests, of one Religion all!

Ye Tradesmen vile, in Army, Court, or Hall,

Ye Rev'rend Atheists F. Scandal! name them! Who?

P. Why that's the thing you bid me not to do.

Who starv'd a Sister, who forswore a Debt 4,

I never nam'd; the Town's enquiring yet.
The pois'ning Dame F. You mean- P. I don't.
P. See, now I keep the Secret, and not you!
The bribing Statesman F. Hold, too high you go.

F. You do!

The brib'd Elector- F. There you stoop too low.
P. I fain would please you, if I knew with what;
Tell me, which Knave is lawful Game, which not?
Must great Offenders, once escap'd the Crown 5,
Like royal Harts, be never more run down"?
Admit your Law to spare the Knight requires,
As Beasts of Nature may we hunt the Squires?
Suppose I censure you know what I mean-
To save a Bishop, may I name a Dean?

F. A Dean, Sir? no: his Fortune is not made;

You hurt a man that's rising in the Trade.

P. If not the Tradesman who set up to-day,
Much less the 'Prentice who to-morrow may.
Down, down, proud Satire! tho' a Realm be spoil'd,
Arraign no mightier Thief than wretched Wild";

Or, if a Court or Country's made a job,
Go drench a Pick-pocket, and join the Mob.
But, Sir, I beg you (for the Love of Vice!)
The matter's weighty, pray consider twice;

4 Cf. ante, Dial. 1. v. 112.]

5 Must great Offenders, etc.] The case is archly put. Those who escape public justice being the particular property of the Satirist.

6 Like royal Harts, etc.] Alluding to the old Game Laws. Warburton.

7 wretched Wild,] Jonathan Wild, a famous Thief, and Thief-Impeacher, who was at last caught in his own train and hanged. P. [Fielding's Jonathan Wild appeared in 1743, nearly a quarter of a century after the death of its hero. But highwaymen flourished till a considerably later date.]

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