페이지 이미지
PDF
ePub
[merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][ocr errors]

THE HAUNCH OF VENISON.

THANKS, my lord, for your venison, for finer or

fatter
Never rang'd in a forest, or smok'd in a platter;
The haunch was a picture for painters to study,
The fat was so white, and the lean was so

ruddy ;
Though my stomach was sharp, I could scarce

help regretting
To spoil such a delicate picture by eating :
I had thoughts, in my chambers to place it in

view,
To be shown to my friends as a piece of virtu ;
As in some Irish houses, where things are so-so,
One gammon of bacon hangs up for a show;
But, for eating a rasher of what they take pride

in,
They'd as soon think of eating the pan it is

fried in. But hold- let me pause don't I hear you

pronounce, This tale of the bacon's a damnable bounce ?

[ocr errors]

Well, suppose it a bounce—sure a poet may

try, By a bounce now and then, to get courage to

fly. But, my lord, it's no bounce: I protest in my

turn, It's a truth-and your lordship may ask Mr.

Burn.* To go on with my tale - as I gaz'd on the

haunch, I thought of a friend that was trusty and

staunch; So I cut it, and sent it to Reynolds undrest, To paint it or eat it, just as he lik'd best. Of the neck and the breast I had next to dis

pose ; 'Twas a neck and a breast that might rival

Monroe's; But in parting with these I was puzzled again, With the how, and the who, and the where,

and the when. There's H—d, and C-y, and H-rth, and

Hf, I think they love venison - I know they love

beef. There's my countryman Higgins-Oh! let him

alone, For making a blunder, or picking a bone.

* Lord Clare's nephew.

But hang ito poets who seldom can eat, Your very good mutton's a very good treat ; Such dainties to them their health it might

hurt, It's like sending them ruffles when wanting a

shirt. While thus I debated, in reverie centred, An acquaintance, a friend as he call'd himself,

enter'd; An under-bred, fine-spoken fellow was he, And he smil'd as he look'd at the venison and

me.

•What have we got here ?—Why this is good

eating! Your own I suppose or is it in waiting ?' * Why whose should it be?' cried I, with a

flounce : 'I get these things often' — but that was a

bounce : "Some lords, my acquaintance, that settle the

nation, Are pleas'd to be kind—but I hate ostentation.' * If that be the case then,' cried he, very

gay: * I am glad I have taken this house in my way. To-morrow you take a poor dinner with me; No words—I insist on't-precisely at three : We'll have Johnson, and Burke, all the wits

will be there; My acquaintance is slight, or I'd ask my Lord

Clare.

« 이전계속 »