who was great-uncle to both of us, of liquid shining blacking for shoes, you could never have expected to maintain so much consequence in life, as even your neglected friend and humble servant,

66 HUMPHRY QUONDAM."

I cannot forbear following up this letter with an exhortation to my readers, to reflect, that the humane and social duties press equally on all situations of life; and that, if prosperity deprive us of our unbought friendships, it must ever after remain in hopeless arrears to us, whatever degree of plenty it may shower into our bosoms: it has robbed us of the day-light, which no borrowed glare of lamps and crystals can supply.

N° 5. SATURDAY, MARCH 24.

Sit mihi fas audita loqui.

To spread those words abroad I cannot fear,
Which virgins speak, and saints unblushing hear.

THOUGH I am an old bachelor, and naturally of a cold constitution, yet I have always been fond of mixing among my fair countrywomen wherever I have seen an opportunity. A fine eye affects me like a fine day, which sets my spirits afloat, and gives spring and vigour to my fancy. My vacant composure of countenance makes me less suspected of impertinent curiosity; and as I am never heard to

speak ill of my neighbours, I am supposed to be without malice, or without meaning. I have consequently been treated with a great deal of female anecdote, and female eloquence. Scarce a day passes, but my mother has a little levee of the young and old of her own sex, who are all enamoured of her complacency, her old-fashioned sense, and historical memory.

There is a sort of treaty of commerce between them, that turns to their mutual account. My mother has a way of reviving the remembrances of her youth, and of retailing her curious stock of obsolete anecdotes and usages, that gathers around her the most rational part of her own sex, who are glad to exchange, for this antiquated merchandise, all the articles and modes of daily intelligence. By this channel I come into possession of a great deal of history respecting the female world, and shall let my readers in for a part of the pillage.

These meetings are not yet formed into a regular society; but I think I can perceive a strong tendency that way; and they seem to be insensibly drawing towards the spirit of our own. They have their readings in imitation of ours; which are so much the more interesting, as the women are more communicative by nature than the men. No information comes from town, in the way of private correspondence, that is not shared among them. Anecdotes of high life, and occurrences that mark the manners of the times, and particularly those of their own sex, are perused with great eagerness; and I owe to these meetings many sage rules and maxims for female conduct, which will run through these my papers.

There is a delicacy of distinction and feeling in the morality of the ladies, that renders it generally

attractive and interesting; and if they knew how much it became their mouths, and what sweetness it bestowed on their smiles, they would redeem a still larger portion of their time from the topics of dissipation, to devote it to a subject in which virtue and vanity may in some sort coalesce. What put me upon this remark, was an opportunity which was the other day afforded me, of hearing some very excellent observations on the present state of female manners, at one of those little councils in my mother's apartment.

Methought the dignified sentiments which came from each in her turn, lighted up the countenance, and brought the very soul into the eyes; insomuch that I never shall be persuaded, that the happiest lover is able to provoke a sweeter look, or a more glowing smile, in the object of his adoration, than the consciousness of virtuous feelings at this moment excited, and that inward homage which we pay to ourselves, when we speak with ability in an amiable cause. There was a complacency in my old mother's forehead, which I would not have exchanged for the courtesy of a princess; and I observed that her shagreen spectacle-case dropped twice out of her hand, while her eyes were fixed on my great-grandfather's portrait with a look of pious

satisfaction.

This becoming effect of virtuous conversation on the female face, and the irresistible force it lends to the expression, was well instanced in the few observations made by Miranda on the subject they were upon. "It has always appeared to me," she remarked, turning to my mother, who always sits in a sort of oracular state in these assemblies, speaking but seldom, as was the custom of her ancestors, "that we are to ascribe the principal faults that de

grade at this moment the female character, to the sort of education we receive at our most fashionable schools. This blame, however, does by no means rest with these places of instruction, but falls more deservedly upon parents and guardians, whose vanity and false judgements interpose between the true interests of the scholars, and the persons to whom they are committed. If the main stream be discoloured, the rivulets which join it in its course will take the same complexion. However that may be, nothing is more certain than that we poor females are educated as if we had no souls to be saved, or old age to be provided for. To figure away with a fine exterior, and to share the stupid admiration of coxcombs, with their horses and their equipages, seems to be all that is required of us by our grave instructors. When this view is accomplished, we are brought forward, in all the mockery of dress, for the entertainment of the men, cased up like Indian idols, or carried out as victims to the altar.

"Only that little of our lives is consulted which can contribute to the brilliancy of a ball-room, or the decoration of a court; so that just the prime and middle of our days is called for, the rest being thrown away like the tops and tails of radishes. To accomplish us in the flourishing trade and mystery of multiplying words without knowledge, to enable us to propagate repetition, and give wings to nonsense, we are taught as many languages as our memories can hold; without any enlargement of capacity, or accession of ideas; without any exercise of reason, or elevation of thought.

"Nothing, however," she continued, "gives me such serious concern, as to observe, in the system of modish education, the perverse direction of the noble principle of shame, which was given us for the

greatest purposes. That tender conscious spirit, which was designed to be the principal guard of our virtue, and the support of all the great qualities of woman-kind, is applied to circumstances and occasions the most frivolous and absurd. To be hungry, healthy, rosy, and robust, are circumstances of shame to a girl of fashion. To run is rude, to laugh is vulgar, and to play is monstrous (because it is natural). Ignorance of cards is shocking, ignorance of fashions is abominable, and ignorance of French is heretical. But while they are taught shame at these excesses or deficiencies, they can brave the recollection of an uncharitable or unjust action; they can tell untruths without flinching; they can read the memoirs of stale actresses and battered demireps without confusion; they can ogle without a blush; and hug themselves in visions of rope-ladders and chaises and four, accomplished dancing-masters, and sentimental staymakers.

66

Methinks," continued Miranda, "that a truly fashionable school might consistently enough advertise, to refine and reduce the appetite so common in young people educated at ordinary schools; to banish all disagreeable redness from the cheeks; to correct the errors of nature, in the vulgar propensity youth have to exercise and play; to contract the waist, where nature has forgotten to do it; to pinch the foot to a sizeable disproportion and beautiful deformity; to comprehend all religious duties within a very small compass, and teach sound morals and virtuous principles at moderate rates.

"To the misapplication of these generous rudiments of virtue, given us with our nature, are ascribable all those vanities and petty ambitions, which so predominate amongst us, as to give a sort of title to the satirist to thunder out his catholic cen