Jum. [Aside] What the devil's to be done now? I have it: Clara's name is not mentioned, and she will believe it is intended for herself. [To Stirling] Zur! I ha' found your spectacles. [Aside to Mrs. Honeymouth] It's from Mr. Jumble-they must have dropped out of the case. Stir. Oh! then I can read it myself. Jum. What the devil's to be done now? Mrs. H. [Looking at the Paper] Dear me! a prescription-how careless, to have dropp'd it! I would not have lost it for the world. Jum. [Aside] Upon my soul I believe you. [Feeling in his Pockets] Then what can become-Oh! dear, dear, I ha' lost my character. Stir. Curse me if I think you ever had one to lose. Mrs. H. [Aside] Exquisite sensations-I protest this proof of his attachment quite overpowers me. [Exit. Stir. I wish this Mr. Cypher was arrived from London: if he does but propose for Clara, all my cares and fears will be over. Hey! [Seeing Jumble looking through the Key-hole] What are you about, hey? looking for your character? get out of this house-begone, I tell you! they all connive to deceive me. Jum. If I deceive you, zur, never trust me Stir. No, I never will trust you-I won't trust any body-I won't even trust myself. I'll keep one eye awake, while the other goes to sleep-I will-so be off -be off, I tell you. Jum. Your humble servant, zur! Enter CLARA, looking for the Paper. [Exeunt. Clar. No, it is not here-where can I have dropt it? Should my father discover-I dread the thought, yet still I feel unable to resist the impulse of affection, fostered as mine has been from infancy. SONG. CLARA, When first he left his native shore, For ab! the friends he left were dear, To fight for fame and glory. But in the battle's rude alarms, To fight for fame and glory. [Exit. SCENE III. At JUMBLE'S. Enter QUILL. Quill. Bless my soul!-I wonder what Mr. Jumble will do next-he has just refused to insert a paragraph, because, he says, 'tis false and scandalous-I wonder where he'll find readers, if he prints nothing but truth and morality. [A Crash] What the deuce is that! Cypher. [Without] That's it-that's right— Enter CYPHER, with JERRY BLOSSOM, carrying a large Bundle of Papers. That's prime!-that's bang up! Jerry. Yes, but just now you came bang down. Jerry. Why! be it, though? Cypher. To be sure, if I had'nt turned the leader neatly over the old woman-I should have dash'd neck and crop into the china shop. [To Quill] Here, help me off with my benjamin-I say, do you know whereabouts a man of the name of Jumble lives in this town? Quill. Yes! in this house. Cypher. No! Quill. Yes! Cypher. That's lucky. [To Jerry] Set down that infernal load, it belongs to him. [To Quill] Pray, sir! who are you? Quill. Who am I? I'll tell you what, young fellow, I shouldn't wonder if you were to be discharged for this flourish Cypher. Discharged! Cypher. What do you laugh at? [Takes off his Hat. Jerry. I be laughing at your head, zur; and if you call driving over posts and old women, prime, hang me if I think you'll ever get another place. So you'd better make the best of a bad matter, and help your fellow sarvant to set tackle in order again-there be one o'the sharps broke all to shivers, and as you be coachman, you know Cypher. Discharged! and fellow servant! Why, spoonies-sawnies-clods, have you the superlative ignorance and impudence to mistake Richard Cypher, esq. attorney and solicitor, for a servant? Jerry. To be sure. Didn't you sit cheek by jowl, and take all the trouble, while he sat at his ease, and chatter'd to you as if you were his groom? Cypher. What the devil then!-do you suppose I let my coachman drive me? Quill. If not, why did you hire him? Cypher. Hey! that's a poser, a proper setter-d-n me if I know, though I've studied the law. Jerry. I'll tell you what, my lad. Cypher. Paws off. [Pulls him by the Coat.. Jerry. Whoe. [Kicking] Though we be country folks, we're not to be humin'd. Fine London gentlemen don't demean themselves to do sarvants' work; or if they do take a bit of a drive now and then, for pleasure or exercise, like- you won't make us believe they clap on a livery like that to do it in. Cypher. A livery! confusion and consternation! A ̄\ livery!-the honourable uniform of the "Neck or Nothing." A livery! Have I left the practice of the courts to practice driving, and after unwearied attention, to become a prime whip, instead of a prime lawyer-only arrived at the honourable distinction of being mistaken for a coachman? Jerry. Why, be'ant you, though? Quill. Sir, I beg pardon. I see the error, and hope you'll forgive it; but when gentlemen associate with their servants, talk like their servants, do their servants' work, and dress like their servants; they ought not to be offended at a stranger's not knowing the master from the man. [Exit. Cypher. [Aside] That fellow's prime !-he must have studied the law. Jerry. Well, zur, and if you ha' studied the law, 'tis my fancy you can drive a better trade at that any time, I assure you, zur; for I never saw any body drive worse-never. Cypher. You didn't, ha, ha, ha! Jerry. You needn't laugh, mun: I don't flatter, zur. Cypher. No, d-me if you do. [Aside] Primely I should be rated, if this were known at the club. Igno. rant sawney! drive bad, indeed! Let me tell you, sirrah, I'm prime-I am one of the best whips in town. Jerry. Ha! very likely-but you be the worst in the country, for all that. Cypher. Who the devil made you a judge, Johnny Raw I've had a complete education-gone through all the gradations of buggy, gig, and dog-cart, tandem, carricle, unicorn, and four-in-hand-neglected nothing -dash'd at every thing-pegg'd at a jervy-tool'd a mail coach-and now, having attained the credit of being bang up, have met the reward of all my labours, by being elected member of a society who are famous for having repeatedly saved their necks by sheer management and dexterity. Jerry. Yes-I know you said you were a lawyer, ha, ha! [Exit. Cypher. Hey! What d'ye mean by that, you rhinoceros, you?-come, be off-ya hip! Enter JUMBLE. Jum. Still unfortunate! Still doom'd to disappoint. ment!—had not Clara dropt the paper, all might have been well. To see her again is impossible, Stirling's suspicions are so awake; and were I to send, Rourke would make some infernal blunder. Oh, there are the papers-the attorney, I know, was a man of the name of Cypher. [Sees Cypher] That's his servant, I suppose. [Cypher comes down the Stage with the Papers. Cypher. Mr. Jumble-Sir, I was desired by my employer to drop this parcel Jumble. [Aside] Employer! Cypher. They are papers, sir, which belonged to the late Rev. Mr. Jumble, your father Jum. Returned to me, I presume, by desire, of Mr. Stirling. Your master, I believe, had the care of them. Cypher. My master! [Aside] Oh, he means old Latitat, whom I succeeded. Yes, sir, they were rather a bore to be sure, as I intended bringing a brace of pointers in the dog-cart, to amuse myself while staying at the Cottage. Jum. [Aside] A brace of pointers!--these London servants are more independent than their masters.— This is a pleasant sort of life you lead, friend. Cypher. Friend! that's a rum name for a lawyer! Why yes, sir-I can't say but I've come it prelly strong since I first handled the ribands-I'm primelike to make a splash-always bang up-except when I made a small mistake once in the Old Bailey-happened to take the wrong side-though I was but a green-horn then a sort of first offence. Jum. For which, I suppose, you ought to have been Lurned off. Cypher. Turn'd off! [Aside] D-n the fellow, he surely does not mean to insinuate I ought to have been scragg'd. No, sir-no, not quite so bad as that. Jum. Pray, sir, are you going to the Collage? Jum. Will you convey a letter for me?-I know what is usual on these occasions-here's a crown, Cypher. [Significantly] Six and eight-pence-a letter's always six and eight-pence, sir-I see you haven't studied the law. Jum. [Aside] Mercenary rascal!-but there's not a moment to be lost.-Well, sir, here's your demand, and half-a-crown for the trouble you have had. |