Cypher. Half-a-crown! Jum. Here, take it, and let me see Mr. Cypher as soon as possible. Cypher. Cypher! here's a proper cross and jostle! Why, zounds! you have mistaken plaintiff for defendant-I am Mr. Cypher Jum. The devil! Cypher. No-not the devil-Richard Cypher, esq. attorney and solicitor; and if you'll take my word, an honest man. Jum. Sir, you give yourself an excellent character. Cypher. Sir, I'm obliged-nobody else will; but let me tell you, the temptations to drive the wrong side the road, are so many in my profession, that an honest lawyer is a good as well as a great character;-and I really think there are more of that description than the world in general are willing to believe. Jum. Those papers have been examined, I presume? Cypher. Not by me-I had not time. Jum. Had not time? Cypher. No; I remember they were sent to old Latitat: he was head man-I only managing clerkafraid to flash-I wasn't bang up then-demure as a judge-grave as an undertaker-long face-black coat, and all that-he desired me to look over them-so 1 overlook'd them. Jum. Well, sir. Cypher. Well, sir! old Stirling, upon the strength of my character as a steady fellow, with ten thousand pounds, invites me down to the Cottage-I take the hint-mum! he has a daughter Jum. [Aside] Distraction! Cypher. Beautiful as an angel-all roses, lilies, thorough-bred-no gum-prime in all her points. Jum. [Aside] Coxcomb!-Hear me, sir! the lady you mention is my affianced wife. Cypher. Oh, Lord! crim. con?-Say no more. My dear sir, don't be alarmed; I've studied the law, and matrimony is out of my line of business-besides, when I was no longer managing clerk, I was no longer a steady fellow, with ten thousand pounds. Jum. No? Cypher. No; I managed to get rid of them altogether; therefore am not the man for old Stirling! and to show you that I understand my profession, I'll assist you to make your match. I'll get out of a scrape myself, and get other people into one. If that isn't being a clever lawyer, the devil's in it. Jum. My dear sir, how shall I thank you? Cypher. Say nothing; leave all to me: you shall slip on my lily-shallow all toggery, go to the Collage in my name, tip the one a rattle astonish his weak nerves-talk of every thing that means nothing-swagger-look big-and all that-and if you can but get the girl into my tandem, I defy John Doe and Richard Roe themselves to overtake us ; so instead of making you happy by separation, egad! I'll make you miserable by bringing you together, and thus prove to the world that Richard Cypher, esq. attorney and solicitor, is a good and a great man, because he's an honest lawyer-that's the way to do the thing properly. [Exit Jumble] Curse 'em, they all seem to have studied the law here; but I pity and excuse it-how can one expect any thing prime but in London? SONG. CYPHER. With spirits gay I mount the box, the tits up to their traces, My elbows squar'd, my wrist turn'd down, dash off to at random, In whisky, buggy, gig, or dog-cart, curricle, or tandem. [Speaks] I say, Bill, what have ye put this short collar on the wheeler for? he's almost choked-where are you coming to, you Johnny Raw? Why don't you keep your own side of the road?-hold off a bit. Where are you running to? You'll break my bars-you be d-d, who made you a coachman?—You hold off your self, or I'll lay that fine coat of yours in the gutter.Will you? why then Some push along, &c. Prime of life to go it, where's a place like London? Four in hand to-day, the next you may be undone; Where belles as well as beaux, to get the whip-hand strive, And Mrs. Snip, the tailor's wife, can teach her spouse to drive. So Jacky Snip, his wife and all, to Dobbin's back are strapt on, In one-horse chay to spend the day, with neighbour Stitch at Clapton. [Speaks] I think, next Sunday, says Mrs. Snip, we'll clap Dobbin into our chay, and take a drive to Hornsey -Shall I go too, mother? Yes, my love.-Now, Mr. Snip, don't smell of the shop to-day-Cold morning, sir-Yes, sharp as a needle.-I say, honey, who taught you to drive? You ought to hold the reins in both bands, and the whip in the other, and that's the waySome push along, &c. Thus 'tis with all who in London are thriving, Both high life and low life, at something are driving, A peer and a 'prentice now dress so much the same, You cannot tell the diff'rence, excepting by the name: On Epsom Downs, says Billy, zounds! that cannot be lord Jacky, Egad, but now I see it is-I took him for his laquey. [Speaks] That's prime-white corduroys-pearl buttous-beat the Bristol mail.-D-n this pavement, it jolts like a baker's cart.-You graceless rogue, you have upset my wheelbarrow.-Hollo, gate! Don't keep us waiting all night-my leaders are all on the fretThis here man han't paid the toll-How can you say so? -No. 281-that won't do-I have been through-Fthat won't do, the letter's O-why then help yourself— all right-why then Some push along, &c. [Exit. 'em SCENE IV. The Lodge. Enter DOLLY. Dolly. So, miss Clara has seen her lover in spite of -ba, and she'll see him again too. Its very hard, so it is, that young ladies like us should be kept locked up in this way: but he'll be with her again when she least expects it. SONG.-DOLLY. Beneath a tower a pilgrim stray'd, (Ah! hapless bride), Oh! brave sir Eglamore! He bow'd then to the lady low, (Ah! hapless bride), The pilgrim threw aside his vest, The castle runs, Enter O'DAISY. O'Daisy. So, so, so, Mr. Stirling, these are your ways, are they? and I have been the gentleman porter to such a spalpeen without Dolly. What's the matter, Rourke? O'Daisy. He ordered me to turn the young man out of the house! Dolly. Ah, but he didn't know him. O'Daisy. No matter for that. I told him if he did THE IRISH WIDOW. A Farce. BY DAVID GARRICK, ESQ. CORRECTLY GIVEN, FROM COPIES USED IN THE THEATRES, BY THOMAS DIBDIN, Author of several Dramatic Pieces: and PROMPTER OF THE THEATRE ROYAL, DRURY LANE. Printed at the Chiswick Press, FOR WHITTINGHAM AND ARLISS, PATERNOSTER ROW, LONDON, |