SCENE I. An Apartment in STIRLING'S House. Enter MRS. HONEYMOUTH and CLARA. Mrs. H. Well, Clara, I protest feel quite delighted at our escape from the smoke of London: this new purchase of your father's seems to possess every charm of rural retirement. Enter STIRLING. Stir. Ah! Clara, my dear, how dost do? Good day, cousin.-Well, I suppose you have had a ramble; how d'ye like the house and grounds, eh? Clara. Very much indeed, sir; 'tis really a most elegant little villa. Stir. Ab, so it ought-it cost an elegant little sum of money. What do you think of it, coz? Mrs. H. O, delicious! we shall pass our time admirably; and with the new publications we can procure from Mr. Jumble Stir. Pshaw! Jumble's a puppy-he hasn't a shilling in the world now-and to prevent the possibility of his ever getting one, he has begun to scribble-commenc'd bookseller, and started a weekly newspaper-they say most authors come to a morsel of bread; and so may he, if he happens to be lucky. Mrs. H. He's an excellent young man notwithstanding; by-the-by, I wonder he has not called; he surely inust have heard of our arrival at the Cottage- Stir. The Cottage! there's a precious nickname for a mansion that has cost me fifteen thousand pounds! The Cottage! a place like a labyrinth, that when I am at one end of it, curse me if I don't lose my way before I can get to the other. Clara. Certainly the name is not very appropriate. Stir. Appropriate! why zounds! you may as well call a palace a pig-sty: my old friends in the city will think I am crazy, when they direct to old Adam Stirling, at the Cottage. O'Daisy. [Without] There was a bold dragoon. Stir. Oh, there's that noisy fellow, Rourke O'Daisy. O'Daisy. Eh! I beg pardon of your honour's honour, but there came just now a great big fellow to the lodge gate, and kept tolling the bell, till there was a greater hubbubboo than at a wake in Ballinatrotty. Stir. An express from town, no doubt. I thought there was something a-foot. O'Daisy. The devil a yard of him was a-foot-he was outside of a horse. Mrs. H. Something of consequence. O'Daisy. Your ladyship may say that thing, and tell no lie neither. He said it was of very great weight, and, by the powers, 1 believe him, or he would not have had a horse to carry it. Mrs. H. And what is it? O'Daisy. A letter it is-he told me to deliver it immediately into the hands of the right owner; and that's the reason I came myself, because there should be no blunder. Stir. Ah, 'tis for old Adam O'Daisy. Is it? by the powers, then, 'tis the first time I ever knew old Adam was a gentlewoman. Mrs. H. 'Tis for me, I dare say-come give it me. O'Daisy. Give it you the name's Honeymouth-this must be the honeymouth, for it certainly belongs to the sweetest lady of the two, and therefore you have nothing at all to do with it. [Giving it to Clara] Leave me alone for the service of the ladies-I'm sure to be right there, whether I'm wrong or not. O bless your sweet lips! that's the most gentlemanly young lady I have seen since I left Ballinatrolty. [Exit. Stir. Augusta Carolina! there's for you-there's the effect of novel reading. Her husband (rest his soul) happened to be called Honeymouth, so that his name now attaches to her like a libel. Honeymouth! her mouth looks a great deal more like the family lemonsqueezer. [Aside. Mrs. H. [Looking at the Letter] From Mr. Jumble, I protest. Clara. Indeed! from Mr. Jumble! Stir. So, now I shall be plagued with him. Well, what says he? Mrs. H. You shall hear. [Reads] Allow me, dearest madam, to congratulate myself on your arrival at the Cottage. I shall take the earliest opportunity of kissing your fair hands, and those of my youthful companion, Clara. Stir. The devil he will! Mrs. H. Stay, here's a postscript. [Reads] I have just received from town a new novel, called "The Victorious Lover;" and I hope you will think he has sufficient merit to authorize my introducing him at the Cottage. Delightful! Stir. Yes, very delightful. I see how 'twill be-this is to be the enchanted castle; Clara an imprisoned damsel; I am to be the cock giant, and you the fiery dragon. Mrs. H. How! Stir. D-n his impudence! yes, yes! but when he and his "Victorious Lover" get footing in this house, he shall be welcome to keep it for his pains. Mrs. H. I am astonish'd, cousin Stirling-old Mr. Jumble was your most intimate friend. to me, Stir. So he was, but that's no reason I should make his son a present of my daughter. Old Jumble hinted that a small estate would fall to his son when he came of age; but when we open'd the will, there was hardly enough to pay for the funeral. But come, I must have a little private conversation with you about young Cypher. I have ask'd him down for a day or two. I never saw him, but I hear he's a quiet steady fellow-none of your novel readers he has ten thousand pounds in his pocket, and yet sticks to business→→→→ that's the boy for old Adam Stirling. Come along, [Exeunt Stirling and Mrs. Honeymouth. Clara. Brought up together from our earliest youth, how cruel of my father thus to separate me from the only man I can ever love as a husband. Love too often withers like a gaudy flower; but when friendship is the soil it springs from, like the constant ivy, it will thrive for ever. coz. SONG.-CLARA. Yes, well I remember how happy the hours I pass'd with my love in the cool shady bow'rs; Pleasure beam'd on each minute-Hope brighten'd each In this life of uncertainty oft it appears, Though in smiles it arose, 'twill in sorrow go down; But grateful sensations, if friendship can give, |