hear the like now?-Sir, did ever I do any thing but warm your bed, and tuck you up, and set the candle and your tobacco-box by you, and now and then rub the soles of your feet?-O Lord, I!

Ang. Yes, I saw you together, through the key-hole of the closet, one night, like Saul and the witch of Endor, turning the sieve and shears, and pricking your thumbs, to write poor innocent servants names in blood, about a little nutmeg-grater, which she had forgot in the caudle-cup.-Nay, I know something worse, if I would speak of it!

Fore. I defy you, hussy; but I'll remember this. I'll be revenged on you, cockatrice; I'll hamper you-You have your fortune in your own hands-but I'll find a way to make your lover, your prodigal spendthrift gallant, Valentine, pay for all, I will.-But I will have my doors locked up-I'll punish you; not a man shall enter my house.

gone

Ang. Do, uncle, lock them up quickly, before my aunt comes home-you'll have a letter for alimony tomorrow morning!-But let me be first; and then let no mankind come near the house; but converse with spirits and the celestial signs, the bull, and the ram, and the goat. Bless me, there are a great many horned beasts among the twelve signs, uncle!

Fore. But there's but one virgin among the twelve signs, spit-fire!-but one virgin!

Ang. Nor there had not been that one, if she had had to do with any thing but astrologers, uncle! That makes my aunt go abroad.

Fore. How! how! is that the reason? Come, you know something; tell me, and I'll forgive you; do, good niece.-Come, you shall have my coach and borses -faith and troth, you shall.-Does my wife complain? Come, I know women tell one another.

Ang. Ha, ha, ha!

Fore. Do you laugh?-Well, gentlewoman, I'll-But come, be a good girl, don't perplex your poor uncle! Tell me-won't you speak? Odd, I’Il

Re-enter a Servant.

Serv. Sir Sampson is coming down, to wait upon you, sir. [Exit. Ang. Good b'ye, uncle.-Call me a chair.-I'll find out my aunt, and tell her, she must not come home.

[Exit.

Fore. I am so perplexed and vexed, I am not fit to receive him; I shall scarce recover myself before the hour be past. Go, nurse; tell sir Sampson, I'm ready to wait on him.

Nurse. Yes, sir.

[Exit.

Fore. Well-why, if I was born to be a cuckold, there's no more to be said!

Enter SIR SAMPSON LEGEND, with a Paper.

Sir S. Nor no more to be done, old boy; that is plain -here it is, I have it in my hand, old Ptolemy; I'll make the ungracious prodigal know who begat him; I I will, old Nostrodamus. What, I warrant, my son thought nothing belonged to a father, but forgiveness and affection; no authority, no correction, no arbitrary power-nothing to be done, but for him to offend, and me to pardon! I warrant you, if he danced till doomsday, he thought I was to pay the piper. Well, but here it is under black and white, signatum, sigillatum, and deliberatum-that, as soon as my son Benjamin is arrived, he is to make over to him his right of inheritance. Where's my daughter that is to be?-Ha! old Merlin! Body o'me, I'm so glad I'm revenged on this undutiful rogue!

Fore. Odso, let me see; let me see the paper.-When was this signed? what hour? Odso, you should have consulted me for the time.

Sir S. No matter for the time; pr'ythee, brother Foresight, leave superstition.-Plague o'the time; there's no time but the time present; there's no more to be said of what's past; and all that is to come will happen. If the sun shine by day, and the stars by night-why, we shall know one another's faces without the help of a candle; and that's all the stars are good for.

Fore. How, how, sir Sampson? that all? Give ine leave to contradict you, and tell you you are ignorant.

Sir S. I tell you, I am wise: and sapiens dominabitur astris; there's Latin for you to prove it, and an argument to confound your Ephemeris.-Ignorant!— I tell you I have travelled, old Fercu, and know the globe. I have seen the antipodes, where the sun rises at midnight, and sets at noon-day.

Fore. But I tell you, I have travelled, and travelled in the celestial spheres; know the signs and the planets, and their houses; can judge of motions direct and retrogade, of sextiles, quadrates, trines and oppositions, fiery trigons, and aquatical trigons; know whether life shall be long or short, happy or unhappy; whether diseases are curable or incurable; if journies shall be prosperous, undertakings successful, or goods stolen recovered: I know

Sir S. I know the length of the emperor of China's foot, have kissed the great Mogul's slipper, and rode a hunting upon an elephant with the cham of Tartary. -Body o'me, I have made a cuckold of a king; and the present majesty of Bantam is the issue of these loins.

Fore. I know when travellers lie or speak truth, when they don't know it themselves.

Sir S. I have known an astrologer made a cuckold in the twinkling of a star.

Fore. What, does he twit me with my wife too? I must be better informed of this. [Aside]-Do you mean my wife, sir Sampson? Though you made a cuckold of the king of Bantam, yet by the body of the sun—

Sir S. By the horns of the moon, you would say, brother Capricorn.

Fore. Capricorn in your teeth, thou modern Mandeville. Take back your paper of inheritance; send your son to sea again. I'll wed my daughter to an Egyptian mummy, ere she shall incorporate with a contemner of sciences, and a defamer of virtue.

Sir S. Body o'me, I have gone too far-I must not provoke honest Albumazar. [Aside.]-An Egyptian mummy is an illustrious creature, my trusty hierogly

phic, and may have significations of futurity about him. Odsbud, I would my son were an Egyptian mummy for thy sake. [Aside]-What, thou art not angry for a jest, my good Haly?—I reverence the sun, moon, and stars, with all my heart.-What! I'll make thee a of present a mummy. Now I think on't, body o'me, have a shoulder of an Egyptian king, that I purloined from one of the pyramids, powdered with hieroglyphics; thou shalt have it brought home to thy house; and make an entertainment, for all the students in physic and astrology, in and about London.

Fore. But what do you know of my wife, sir Sampson?

Sir S. Thy wife is a constellation of virtues; she is the moon, and thou art the man in the moon; nay, slie is more illustrious than the moon; for she has her chastity, without her inconstancy: 'sbud, I was but in jest.

Enter JEREMY.

How now? who sent for you, ha? what would you have? [Jeremy whispers Sir Sampson. Fore. Nay, if you were but in jest!-Who's that fellow? I don't like his physiognomy.

Sir S. [To Jeremy] My son, sir? what son, sir? my son Benjamin, ha?

Jer. No, sir; Mr. Valentine, my master;-it is the first time he has been abroad since his confinement, and he comes to pay his duty to you.

Sir S. Well, sir.

Enter VALENTINE.

Jer. He is here, sir.

Val. Your blessing, sir!

Sir S. You've had it already, sir; I think I sent it you to-day in a bill of four thousand pounds.—A great deal of money, brother Foresight!

Fore. Ay, indeed, sir Sampson, a great deal of money for a young man; I wonder what he can do with it! Sir S. Body o'me, so do I.Hark ye, Valentine,

if there be too much, refund the superfluity; dost hear, boy?

Val. Superfluity, sir! it will scarce pay my debts.I hope you will have more indulgence, than to oblige me to those hard conditions which my necessity signed

to.

Sir S. Sir! how? I beseech you, what were you pleased to intimate concerning indulgence?

Val. Why, sir, that you would not go to the extremity of the conditions, but release me at least from some part.

Sir S. O, sir, I understand you—that's all, ha?

Val. Yes, sir, all that I presume to ask.-But what you, out of fatherly fondness, will be pleased to add, will be doubly welcome.

Sir S. Here's a rogue, brother Foresight, makes a bargain under hand and seal in the morning, and would be released from it in the afternoon; here's a rogue, dog; here's conscience and honesty! This is your wit now, this is the morality of your wit! You are a wit, and have been a beau, and may be a -Why, sirrab, is it not here under hand and seal?-Can you deny it? Val. Sir, I don't deny it.

Sir S. Sirrah, you'll be hanged-Has he not a rogue's face? Speak, brother; you understand physiognomy; a hanging look to me-of all my boys the most unlike me. He has a damn'd Tyburn face, without the benefit of the clergy.

Fore. Hum!-truly, I don't care to discourage a young man-he has a violent death in his face; but I hope no danger of hanging.

Val. Sir, is this usage for your son?-For that old weather-headed fool, I know how to laugh at him ; but you, sir

Sir S. You, sir; and you, sir.-Why who are you, sir?

Val. Your son, sir.

Sir S. That's more than I know, sir: and I believe

not.

Val. Faith, I hope not.