Scene, an Alehouse Room. Several shabby fellows with punch and tobacco. TONY at the head of the table a little higher than the rest, a mallet in his hand. OMNES. Hurrea hurrea! hurrea! bravo! FIRST FELlow. Now, gentlemen, silence for a song. The 'squire is going to knock himself down for a song. Ay, a song, a song! OMNES. TONY. Then I'll sing you, gentlemen, a song I made upon this alehouse, The Three Pigeons. SONG. Let school-masters puzzle their brain, With grammar, and nonsense, and learning; Good liquor, I stoutly maintain, Gives genus a better discerning. Let them brag of their heathenish gods, Their Lethes, their Styxes, and Stygians; Their qui's, and their quæ's, and their quod's, Toroddle, toroddle, toroll. When methodist preachers come down, They always preach best with a skinful. I'll leave it to all men of sense, But you, my good friend, are the pigeon. Toroddle, toroddle, toroll. Then, come, put the jorum about, And let us be merry and clever, Our hearts and our liquors are stout, Let some cry up woodcock or hare, Your bustards, your ducks, and your widgeons, But of all the gay birds in the air, Here's a health to the Three Jolly Pigeons. Toroddle, toroddle, toroll. OMNES. Bravo, bravo! FIRST FELLOW. The 'squire has got spunk in him. SECOND FELLOW. I loves to hear him sing, bekeays he never gives us nothing that's low. THIRD FELLOW. O damn any thing that 's low, I cannot bear it. FOURTH FELLOW. The genteel thing is the genteel thing at any time. If so be that a gentleman bees in a concatenation accordingly. THIRD FELLOW. I like the maxum of it, Master Muggins. What, though I am obligated to dance a bear, a man may be a gentleman for all that. May this be my poison my bear ever dances but to the very genteelest of tunes; "Water Parted," or "The minuet in Ariadne." if SECOND FELLOW. What a pity it is the 'squire is not come to his own. It would be well for all the publicans within ten miles round of him. TONY. Ecod, and so it would, Master Slang. I'd then shew what it was to keep choice of company. SECOND FELLOW. O, he takes after his own father for that. To be sure, old 'squire Lumpkin was the finest gentleman I ever set my eyes on. For winding the straight horn, or beating a thicket for a hare, or a wench, he never had his fellow. It was a saying in the place, that he kept the best horses, dogs, and girls in the whole county. . TONY. Ecod, and when I'm of age, I'll be no bastard, I promise you. I have been thinking of Bett Bouncer and the miller's gray mare to begin with. But, come, my boys, drink about and be merry, for you pay no reckoning. Well, Stingo, what's the matter? Enter LANDLORD. LANDLORD. There be two gentlemen in a post-chaise at the door. They have lost their way upo' the forest; and they are talking something about Mr. Hardcastle. TONY. As sure as can be, one of them must be the gentleman that's coming down to court my sister. Do they seem to be Londoners? LANDLORD. I believe they may. They look woundily like Frenchmen. TONY. Then desire them to step this way, and I'll set them right in a twinkling. (Exit Landlord.) Gentlemen, as they mayn't be good enough company for you, step down for a moment, and I'll be with you in the squeezing of a lemon. [Exeunt mob. TONY alone. Father-in-law has been calling me whelp and hound this half year. Now, if I pleased, I could be so revenged upon the old grumbletonian. But then I'm afraid-afraid of what? I shall soon be worth fifteen hundred a year; and let him frighten me out. of that if he can. Enter LANDLORD, conducting MARLOW and HASTINGS. MARLOW. What a tedious uncomfortable day have we had of it! We were told it was but forty miles across the country, and we have come above threescore. HASTINGS. And all, Marlow, from that unaccountable reserve of yours, that would not let us inquire more frequently on the way. |