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Arch. Indeed I did, Madam, but I would have taken nothing but what you might very well have spared; but your crying thieves has waked this dreaming fool, and so he takes them for granted. Scrub. Granted! 'tis granted, Sir; take all we have.

Mrs. S. The fellow looks as if he were broke. out of Bedlam.

Scrub. Oons, Madam, they're broke into the house with fire and sword; I saw them, heard them, they'll be here this minute.

Arch. What! thieves?

Scrub. Under favour, Sir, I think so.
Mrs. S. What shall we do, Sir?

Arch. Madam, I wish your ladyship a good us on these occasions.

Mrs. S. Will you leave me?

Arch. Leave you! lord, Madam, did not you
command me to be gone just now, upon the pain
of your mortal hatred.

Mrs. S. Nay, but pray, Sir-
[Takes hold of him.
Arch. Ha, ha, ha! now comes my turn to be
ravished. You see now, Madam, you must use
men one way or other; but take this by the way,
good Madam, that none but a fool will give you
the benefit of his courage, unless you take his love
along with it. How are they armed, friend?
Scrub, With sword and pistol, Sir.
[He gets under the table.
Arch. Hush! I see a dark lantern coming

through the gallery-Madam, be assured I
protect you, or lose my life.

Mrs. S. Your life! no, Sir, they can rob me of
nothing that I value half so much; therefore,
now, Sir, let me entreat you to be gone.

Arch. No, Madam, I'll consult my own safety for the sake of yours; I'll work by stratagem: have you courage enough to stand the appearance

of them.

Mrs. S. Yes, yes; since I have escaped your
hands, I can face any thing.
Arch. Come hither, brother Scrub: don't you

know me ?

Scrub. Eh! my brother, Martin.
Arch. This way-Here-

Arch. How many are there of them, Scrub?
Scrub. Five and forty, Sir.

Arch. Then I must kill the villain, to have him out of the way.

Gib. Hold! hold! Sir; we are but three, upon my honour.

Arch. Scrub, will you undertake to secure him
Scrub. Not I, Sir; kill him, kill him!

[ARCHER and SCRUB hide.

Enter GIBBET, with a dark lantern in one hand, and
a pistol in the other.

Gib. Ay, ay, this is the chamber, and the lady

Arch. Run to Gipsey's chamber; there you'll find the doctor; bring him hither presently. [Exit SCRUB, running.] Come, rogue, if you have a short prayer, say it.

Gib. Sir, I have no prayer at all; the government has provided a chaplain to say prayers for


Mrs. S. Who are you, Sir? What would you
have? D'ye come to rob me?

Gib. Rob you! Alack-a-day, Madam, I'm only
a younger brother, Madam; and so, Madam, if
you make a noise, I'll shoot you through the
head: but don't be afraid, Madam. [Laying his
lantern and pistol upon the table.] These rings,
Madam; don't be concerned, Madam; I have a
profound respect for you, Madam; your keys,
Madam; don't be frighted, Madam; I'm the most
of a gentleman-[Searching her pockets.] This
necklace, Madam; I never was rude to any lady!
I have a veneration-for this necklace.
[Here ARCHER, having come round and seized the
pistol, takes GIBBET by the collar, trips up his
heels, and claps the pistol to his breast.
Arch. Hold, profane villain, and take the re-
ward of thy sacrilege.

Gib. Oh! pray, Sir, don't kill me; I an't pre-

VOL. I.... 5 K




Arch. Here, doctor; I suppose Scrub and you, between you, may manage him.-Lay hold of [FOIGARD lays hold of GIBBET. will-Lookye, doctor, you come before your time; I Gib. What! turned over to the priest already an't condemned yet, I thank ye.

Mrs. S. Pray, Sir, don't kill him; you fright me as much as him.

Arch. The dog shall die, Madam, for being the occasion of my disappointment. Sirrah, this moment is your last.

Gib. Sir, I'll give you two hundred pounds to spare my life.

Arch. Have you no more, rascal?

Gib. Yes, Sir, I can command four hundred; but I must reserve two of them to save my life at the sessions.

body and your shoul too; I will make you a good
Foig. Come, my dear joy, I vil secure your
catholic, and give you an absolution.

don, doctor?
Gib. Absolution! can you procure me a par-

Foig. No, joy.
Gib. Then and
the devil.

absolution your

may go to

him. Take the pistol, and if he offers to resist, Arch. Convey him into the cellar, there bind shoot him through the head,-and come back to us with all the speed you can.

Scrub. Ay, ay; come, doctor, do you hold him fast, and I'll guard him.

[Exit SCRUB, GIBBET, and FOIGard. Mrs. S. But how came the doctor? 'Sdeath! the rogues are at work with the other Arch. In short, Madam-[Shrieking without.] must fly to their assistance-Will you stay here, ladies: I'm vexed I parted with the pistol; but I Madam, or venture yourself with me?

Mrs. S. Oh, with you, dear Sir, with you.

[Takes him by the arm, and Exeunt. SCENE III-Another Apartment. Enter HOUNSLOW, dragging in LADY BOUNTIFUL, and BACSHOT hauling in DORINDA. The Rogues with swords drawn.

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Aim. No, no; we'll bind them.

Arch. Ay, ay; here, Madam, lend me your garter. [To MRS. SULLEN, who stands by him. Mrs. S. The devil's in this fellow; he fights, loves, and banters, all in a breath: here's a rope that the rogues brought with them, I suppose.

Arch. Right, right, the rogue's destiny, a rope o hang himself-Come, my lord-this is but a scandalous sort of an office, [Binding the rogues together.] if our adventure should end in this sort of hangman work; but I hope there is something in prospect that-

Enter SCRUB.

Well, Scrub, have you secured your Tartar? Scrub. Yes, Sir, I left the priest and him disputing about religion.

Aim. And pray carry these gentlemen to reap the benefit of the controversy.

[Delivers the prisoners to SCRUB, who leads

them out.

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Lady B. Gentlemen, could we understand how you would be gratified for the servicesArch. Come, come, my lady, this is no time for compliments; I'm wounded, Madam.

Lady B. & Mrs. S. How! wounded! Dor. I hope, Sir, you have received no hurt? [To AIM. Aim. None but what you may cure. [Makes love. Lady B. Let me see your arm, Sir-I must have some powder-sugar, to stop the blood-O me! an ugly gash; upon my word, Sir, you must go into bed.

Arch. Ay, my lady, a bed would do very well -Madam, To MRS. SULLEN.] will you do me the favour to conduct me to a chamber?

Lady B. Do, do, daughter-while I get the lint, and the probe, and the plaister, ready. [Runs out one way; AIM. carries off DoR.


Arch. Come, Madam, why don't you obey your mother's commands?

Mrs. S. How can you, after what is past, have the confidence to ask me?

-Was not this blood shed in your defence, and my life exposed for your protection?-Lookye, Madam, I'm none of your romantic fools, that fight giants and monsters for nothing; my valour is downright Swiss; I am a soldier of fortune, and must be paid.

Mrs. S. 'Tis ungenerous in you, Sir, to upbraid me with your services.

Arch. 'Tis ungenerous in you, Madam, not to reward them.

Arch. And if you go to that, how can you, after what is past, have the confidence to deny me?

Mrs. S. How! at the expense of my honour! Arch. Honour! Can honour consist with ingratitude! If you would deal like a woman of honour, do like a man of honour: d'ye think I would deny you in such a case?


Gip. Madam, my lady has ordered me to tell you, that your brother is below at the gate.

Mrs. S. My brother! Heavens be praised:Sir, he shall thank you for your services; he has it in his power..

Arch. Who is your brother, Madam? Mrs. S. Sir Charles Freeman. You'll excuse me, Sir; I must go and receive him. [Exit. Arch. Sir Charles Freeman ! 'Sdeath and hell!-my old acquaintance. Now, unless Aimwell has made good use of his time, all our fair machine goes souse into the sea, like the Eddy[Exit. SCENE IV-A Gallery in the same House. Enter AIMWELL and DORINDA.



Your late generous action will, I hope, plead Dor. Well, well, my lord, you have conquered. my easy yielding; though I must own your lordship had a friend in the fort before. Aim. The sweets of Hybla dwell upon her tongue. Here, doctor—

Enter FOIGARD, with a book.
Foig. Are you prepared, bote?

Dor. I'm ready; but first, my lord, one wordI have a frightful example of a hasty marriage in my own family; when I reflect upon't, it shocks me. Pray, my lord, consider a little

Aim. Consider! do you doubt my honour or my love?

Dor. Neither. I do believe you equally just as brave-And were your whole sex drawn out for me to choose, I should not cast a look upon the multitude, if you were absent-But, my lord. I'm a woman:-colours, concealments, may hide a thousand faults in me-Therefore know me better first; I hardly dare affirm I know myself in any thing except my love.

Aim. Such goodness who could injure? I find myself unequal to the task of villain. She has gained my soul, and made it honest like her own

I cannot hurt her. [Aside.] Doctor, retire. [Exit FOIGARD.] Madam, behold your lover and your proselyte, and judge of my passion by my conversion-I'm all a lie, nor dare I give a fiction to your arms; I'm all a counterfeit, except my passion.

Dor. Forbid it, Heaven! a counterfeit ! Aim. I am no lord, but a poor needy man, come, with a mean and scandalous design, to prey upon your fortune!--but the beauties of your mind and person have so won me from myself, that, like a trusty servant, I prefer the interest of my mistress to my own.

Dor. Pray, Sir, who are you?

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Arch. Courage, Tom-shall I wish you joy?
Aim. No.

Arch. Oons! man, what ha' you been doing? Aim. O, Archer, my honesty, I fear, has ru*ined me.

Foig. Upon my shoul, and so is myshelf. Arch. What's the matter now, Madam? Dor. Lookye Sir, one generous action deserves another.-This gentleman's honour obliged him to hide nothing from me; my justice engages me to conceal nothing from him; in short, Sir, you are the person that you thought you counterfeited; you are the true Lord Viscount Aimwell, and I wish your lordship joy. Now, priest, you match, let his lordship marry me in the face of the may be gone; if my lord is now pleased with the world.

Arch. How?

Aim. I have discovered myself.

Arch. Discovered! and without my consent! What! Have I embarked my small remains in the same bottom with yours, and you dispose ofed this accident. all without my partnership?

Aim. O, Archer, I own my fault.

Arch. After conviction-'Tis then too late for pardon. You may remember, Mr. Aimwell, that you proposed this folly-As you began, so end it. -Henceforth I'll hunt my fortune singly-So, farewell.

Enter DORINDA, gaily.
Dor. Come, my dear lord-I fly with

tience to your arms-The minutes of my absence
were a tedious year. Where's the priest?

Aim. Archer, what does she mean?
Dor. Here's a witness for my truth.


Sir C. My dear Lord Aimwell, I wish you joy.
Aim. Of what?

Arch. Oons, a brave girl.

Dor. I suppose, my lord, this gentleman is privy to our affairs?

Arch. Yes, yes, Madam, I'm to be your father.
Dor. Come, priest, do your office.

Sir C. Of your honour and estate. Your brother died the day before I left London; and all your friends have writ after you to Brussels: among the rest, I did myself the honour.

Arch. Harkye, Sir knight, don't you banter

Arch. Thanks to the womb of time that brought it forth; away with it.

Aim. Thanks to my guardian angel that led me to the prize.— [Taking DORINDA's hand. Arch. And double thanks to the noble Sır Charles Freeman. My lord, I wish you joy. My lady, I wish you joy-'Egad, Sir Charles, you're the honestest fellow living-'Sdeath, I'm grown strangely airy upon this matter-My lord, how

Aim. Stay, my dear Archer, but a minute. Arch. Stay! What, to be despised, exposed, and laughed at! No, I would sooner change con-d'ye do!-A word, my lord. Don't you rememditions with the worst of the rogues we just now bound, than bear one scornful smile from the proud knight that once I treated as my equal.

ber something of a previous agreement that entitles me to the moiety of this lady's fortune, which, I think, will amount to ten thousand pounds?

Aim. Not a penny, Archer. You would ha' cut my throat just now, because I would not de

Aim. What knight?

Arch. Sir Charles Freeman, brother to the lady that I had almost-But no matter for that;ceive this lady. 'tis a cursed night's work, and so I leave you to make the best on't.

Aim. Freeman!-One word, Archer. Still I have hopes; methought she received my sion with pleasure.

Arch. 'Sdeath, who doubts it?

Aim. She consented after to the match; and still I dare believe she will be just.

Arch. To herself, I warrant her, as you should have been.

Aim. By all my hopes she comes, and smiling


Arch. Make haste, make haste, couple them any way. [Takes AIMWELL'S hand.] Come, Madam, I'm to give you

Dor. My mind's altered; I wont.

Arch. Eh

Aim. I'm confounded.


Sir C. 'Tis truth, upon my honour.
Aim. Thanks to the pregnant stars that form-

Arm. That's what I expect; and to end the confes-dispute, the lady's fortune is twenty thousand pounds; we'll divide stakes; take the twenty thousand pounds, or the lady.

Arch. Ay, and Ill cut your throat still if you should deceive her now.

impa-robbed, joy.

Dor. How! Is your lordship so indifferent? Arch. No, no, no, Madam, his lordship knows very well that I'll take the money; I leave you to his lordship, and so we're both provided for.


Foig. Arrah fait, de people do say you be all

Aim. The ladies have been in some danger,
Sir, as you saw.

Foig. Upon my shoul, our inn be robbed too.
Aim. Our inn! By whom?

Foig. Upon my shalvation, our landlord has robbed himself, and run away vid de money. Arch. Robbed himself?

Foig. Ay fait! and me too, of a hundred pounds.

Arch. Robbed you of a hundred pounds!
Foig. Yes, fait, honey, that I did owe to him.
Aim. Our money 's gone, Frank.

Arch. Rot the money, my wench is gone
Scavez-vous quelque-chose de Mademoiselle

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Foig. Arrah, not part wid your wife! Upon my shoul, de man does not understand common shivility.

Mrs. S. Hold, gentlemen, all things here must move by consent. Compulsion would spoil us. Let my dear and I talk the matter over, and you shall judge between us.

Sul. To take away my mother, I hope-Gentlemen, you're heartily welcome. I never met with three more obliging people since I was born -And now, my dear, if you please, you shall have the first word.


Arch. And the last, for five pounds.
Mrs. S. Spouse.

Sul. Rib.

Mrs. S. How long have you been married? Sul. By the almanack fourteen months;-but by my account, fourteen years.

Mrs. S. 'Tis thereabout by my reckoning. Foig. Upon my conscience, deir accounts vil agree.

Mrs. S. Pray, spouse, what did you marry for?
Sul. To get an heir to my estate.
Sir C. And have you succeeded?
Sul. No.

Sir C. Are your expectations answered?
Mrs. S. No.

Foig. Arrah, honeys, a clear caase, a clear

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Sir C. What are the bars to your mutual contentment?

Mrs. S. In the first place, I can't drink ale with


Sul. Nor can I drink tea with her.
Mrs. S. I can't hunt with you.
Sul. Nor can I dance with you.
Mrs. S. I hate cocking and racing.
Sul. I abhor ombre and piquet.
Mrs. S. Your silence is intolerable.
Sul. Your prating is worse.

Mrs. S. Is there a thing on earth we can agree

in ?

Sul. Yes-to part.

Mrs. S. With all my heart.

Sul. Your hand.

Sul. Let me know, first, who are to be our judges. Pray, Sir, who are you?

Sir C. I am Sir Charles Freeman, come to take away your wife.

Arch. What is her portion?

Sul. And you, good Sir?

Sir C. Twenty thousand pounds, Sir.
Arch. I'll pay it. My lord, I thank him, has

Aim. Thomas Viscount Aimwell, come to take enabled me. This night's adventure has proved away your sister.

Sul. And you, pray, Sir?

Arch. Francis Archer, Esq. come

strangely lucky to us all-for Captain Gibbet in his walk has made bold, Mr. Sullen, with your study and escritoir, and has taken out all the writings of your estate; all the articles of marriage with your lady, bills, bonds, leases, and receipts, to an infinite value; I took 'em from him, and will deliver them to Sir Charles.

[Gives him a parcel of papers and parchments. Sul. How, my writings! my head aches consumedly. Well, gentlemen, you shall have her fortune, but I can't talk. If you have a mind, Sir Charles, to be merry, and celebrate my sister's wedding, and my divorce, you may cominand my house! but my head aches consumedly-Scrub, bring me a dram.

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Sir C. Now, Mr. Sullen, there wants only my sister's fortune to make us easy.

Sul. Sir Charles, you love your sister, and I
love her fortune; every one to his fancy.
Arch. Then you wont refund?
Sul. Not a stiver.

Foig. And, Scrub, put a little drop on the top
for me!
Arch. 'Twould be hard to guess which of these
parties are the better pleased, the couple joined,
or the couple parted: the one rejoicing in hopes
of an untasted happiness, and the other in their
deliverance from an experienced misery.

Both happy in their several states we find;
These parted by consent, and those conjoin'd:
Consent, if mutual, saves the lawyer's fee,
Consent is law enough to set you free.


L'aven fort

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