Dol. Nor break his fast

In Heaven and Hell.

Sub. She's with you everywhere!

Nor play with costermongers, at mum-chance, tray-trip; 1

God make you rich (when as your aunt has done it);

But keep

The gallant'st company, and the best gamesDap. Yes, sir.

Sub. Gleek and primero: and what you get, be true to us.

Dap. By this hand, I will.

Sub. You may bring's a thousand pound Before to-morrow night, if but three thousand Be stirring, an you will.

Dap. I swear I will then.

Sub. Your fly will learn you all games.
Face. [within.] Have you done there?

Sub. Your grace will command him no more duties?

Dol. No;

But come, and see me often. I may chance
To leave him three or four hundred chests of
treasure,

And some twelve thousand acres of fairy land,
If he game well and comely with good gamesters.
Sub. There's a kind aunt! kiss her departing
part.-

But you must sell your forty mark a year, now.
Dap. Ay, sir, I mean.

Sub. Or, give 't away; pox on't!

Dap. I'll give 't mine aunt: I'll go and fetch the writings.

Sub. 'Tis well-away!

Re-enter FACE.

Face. Where's Subtle?
Sub. Here: what news?

[Exit.

Face. Drugger is at the door; go take his suit, And bid him fetch a parson presently;

Say, he shall marry the widow. Thou shalt spend

A hundred pound by the service!

Now, Queen Dol,

Have you pack'd up all?

Dol. Yes.

Face. And how do like

The lady Pliant?

Dol. A good dull innocent.

Re-enter SUBTLE.

[Exit SUBTLE.

Sub. Here's your Hieronimo's cloak and hat. Face. Give me them.

Sub. And the ruff, too?

Face. Yes; I'll come to you presently. [Exit. Sub. Now he is gone about his project, Dol,

I told you of, for the widow.

Dol. 'Tis direct

Against our articles.

Sub. Well, we will fit him, wench.

Hast thou gull'd her of her jewels or her bracelets?

Dol. No; but I will do't.

Sub. Soon at night, my Dolly,

When we are shipp'd, and all our goods aboard, Eastward for Ratcliff; we will turn our course To Brainford, westward, if thou say'st the word, And take our leaves of this o'er-weening rascal, This peremptory Face.

Dol. Content, I'm weary of him.

Sub. Thou'st cause, when the slave will run a wiving, Dol,

1 These were both games at dice; silence is said to have been enforced in the former.

Against the instrument that was drawn between

us.

Dol. I'll pluck his bird as bare as I can.
Sub. Yes, tell her,

She must by any means address some present To the cunning man; make him amends for wronging

His art with her suspicion: send a ring

Or chain of pearl; she will be tortured else Extremely in her sleep, say, and have strange things

Come to her. Wilt thou?
Dol. Yes.

Sub. My fine flitter-mouse,

My bird o' the night! we'll tickle it at the Pigeons,

2

When we have all, and may unlock the trunks, And say, this 's mine, and thine; and thine, and mine.

Re-enter FACE.

Face. What now! a-billing? Sub. Yes, a little exalted

[They kiss.

In the good passage of our stock affairs.
Face. Drugger has brought his parson; take

him in, Subtle,

Face. We'll wet it to-morrow; and our silverbeakers

And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats,

And girdles and hangers?

Sub. Here, in the trunk,

And the bolts1 of lawn.

Face. Is Drugger's damask there,

And the tobacco?

Sub. Yes.

Face. Give me the keys.

Dol. Why you the keys?

Sub. No matter, Dol; because

We shall not open them before he comes.

Face. 'Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed;

Nor have them forth, do you see? not forth, Dol. Dol. No!

Face. No, my smock rampant. The right is, my master

Knows all, has pardon'd me, and he will keep them;

Doctor, 'tis true-you look-for all your figures:
I sent for him indeed. Wherefore, good partners,
Both he and she be satisfied; for here
Determines the indenture tripartite

'Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do
Is to help you over the wall, o' the back side,
Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown,
Dol.

Here will be officers presently, bethink you
Of some course suddenly to 'scape the dock;3
For thither you will come else. [Loud knocking.]
Hark you, thunder!

Sub. You are a precious fiend!
Offi. [without.] Open the door.

Face. Dol, I am sorry for thee, i' faith; but hear'st thou?

It shall go hard, but I will place thee somewhere: Thou shalt have my letter to Mistress Amo

Dol. Hang you!

Face. Or Madam Cæsarean.*

Dol. Pox upon you, rogue,

Would I had but time to beat thee!

Face. Subtle,

Let's know where you set up next; I will send

Offi. [without.] Yes, two or three for failing.1 Love. Have but patience,

And I will open it straight.

Enter FACE as butler.

Face. Sir, have you done?

Is it a marriage? perfect?

Love. Yes, my brain.

Face. Off with your ruff and cloak then; be yourself, sir.

Sur. [without.] Down with the door.
Kas. [without.] 'Slight, ding it open.
Love. Topening the door.] Hold,

Hold, gentlemen; what means this violence?
MAMMON, SURLY, KASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBU-
LATION, and Officers, rush in.

Mam. Where is this collier?
Sur. And my Captain Face?
Mam. These day owls.

Sur. That are birding in men's purses.
Mam. Madam suppository.

Kas. Doxy, my suster.

Ana. Locusts

Of the foul pit.

Tri. Profane as Bel and the dragon.

Ana. Worse than the grasshoppers, or the lice of Egypt.

Love. Good gentlemen, hear me. officers,

And cannot stay this violence?

1 Offi. Keep the peace.

Are you

Love. Gentlemen, what is the matter? whom do you seek?

Mam. The chemical cozener.
Sur. And the captain pander.
Kas. The nun my suster.

Mam. Madam Rabbi.

Ana. Scorpions,

And caterpillars.

Love. Fewer at once, I pray you.

2 Offi. One after another, gentlemen, I charge

you,

By virtue of my staff.

Ana. They are the vessels

Of pride, lust, and the cart.

Love. Good zeal, lie still

A little while.

Tri. Peace, deacon Ananias.

Love. The house is mine here, and the doors are open;

If there be any such persons as you seek for,
Use your authority, search on o' God's name.
I am but newly come to town, and finding
This tumult 'bout my door, to tell you true,
It somewhat mazed me; till my man here, fearing
My more displeasure, told me he had done
Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house
(Belike, presuming on my known aversion
From any air o' the town while there was sick-
ness),

To a doctor and a captain; who, what they are
Or where they be, he knows not.
Mam. Are they gone?

Love. You may go in and search, sir. [MAM-
MON, ANA., and TRIB. go in.] Here I find
The empty walls worse than I left them, smoak'd.
A few crack'd pots, and glasses, and a furnace:
The ceiling fill'd with poesies3 of the candle,
And madam with a dildo writ o' the walls:
Only one gentlewoman, I met here,

That is within, that said she was a widow—

M

Kas. Ay, that's my suster; I'll go thump her. Where is she? [Goes in. Love. And should have married a Spanish count; but he,

When he came to't, neglected her so grossly,
That I, a widower, am gone through with her.
Sur. How! have I lost her then?
Love. Were you the don, sir?

Good faith, now, she does blame you extremely, and says

You swore, and told her you had taken the pains
To dye your beard, and umbre o'er your face,
Borrowed a suit, and ruff, all for her love;
And then did nothing. What an oversight,
And want of putting forward, sir, was this!
Well fare an old harquebuzier, yet,

Could prime his powder, and give fire, and hit,
All in a twinkling!

Love. By order of law, sir, but not otherwise. Mam. Not mine own stuff!

Love. Sir, I can take no knowledge That they are yours, but by public means.

If you can bring certificate that you were gull'd of them,

Or any formal writ out of a court,

That you did cozen yourself, I will not hold them.

Mam. I'll rather lose them.

Love. That you shall not, sir,

By me, in troth: upon these terms, they are yours, What! should they have been, sir, turn'd into gold, all?

Mam. No,

I cannot tell-It may be they should-What then? Love. What a great loss in hope have you sustain'd!

Mam. Not I, the commonwealth has.
Face. Ay, he would have built

The city new; and made a ditch about it
Of silver, should have run with cream from
Hogsden;

That, every Sunday, in Moorfields, the younkers,
And tits and tom-boys should have fed on, gratis.
Mam. I will go mount a turnip cart, and preach
The end of the world, within these two months.
-Surly,

What! in a dream?

Sur. Must I needs cheat myself With that same foolish vice of honesty! Come, let us go and hearken out the rogues: That Face I'll mark for mine, if e'er I meet him. Face. If I can hear of him, sir, I'll bring you word,

Unto your lodging; for, in troth, they were strangers

To me, I thought them honest as myself, sir. [Exeunt MAM. and SUR.

Re-enter ANANIAS and TRIBULATION.

Tri. 'Tis well, the saints shall not lose all yet. Go,

And get some carts

Love. For what, my zealous friends?

Ana. To bear away the portion of the righteous Out of this den of thieves.

Love. What is that portion?

Ana. The goods sometimes the orphan's, that the brethren

Bought with their silver pence.

Love. What, those in the cellar,
The knight Sir Mammon claims?
Ana. I do defy

The wicked Mammon, so do all the brethren.
Thou profane man! I ask thee with what conscience
Thou canst advance that idol against us,
That have the seal? were not the shillings num-
ber'd,

That made the pounds; were not the pounds told out,

Upon the second day of the fourth week,

In the eighth month, upon the table dormant,
The year of the last patience of the saints,
Six hundred and ten?

Love. Mine earnest vehement botcher,
And deacon also, I cannot dispute with you:
But if you get you not away the sooner,
I shall confute you with a cudgel.

Ana. Sir!

Love. Another too?

Drug. Not I, sir, I am no brother.

Love [beats him.] Away, you Harry Nicholas!1
do you talk?
[Exit DRUG.
Face. No, this was Abel Drugger. Good sir, go,
[To the Parson.

And satisfy him; tell him all is done:
He stayed too long a washing of his face.
The doctor, he shall hear of him at Westchester;
And of the captain, tell him, at Yarmouth, or
Some good port town else, lying for a wind.
[Exit Parson.

If you can get off the angry child, now, sir-
Enter KASTRIL, dragging in his sister.
Kas. Come on, you ewe, you have match'd most
sweetly, have you not?

Did not I say, I would never have you tupp'd
But by a dubb'd boy, to make you a lady-tom?
'Slight, you are a mammet! Oh, I could touse

Kas. 'Slight, I must love him! I cannot choose, i' faith,

An I should be hang'd for't! Suster, I protest, I honour thee for this match.

Love. Oh, do you so, sir?

Kas. Yes, an thou canst take tobacco and drink, old boy,

I'll give her five hundred pound more to her marriage,

Than her own state.

Love. Fill a pipe full, Jeremy.

Face. Yes; but go in and take it, sir.
Love. We will-

I will be ruled by thee in anything, Jeremy.
Kas. 'Slight, thou art not hide-bound,1 thou art
a jovy boy!

Come, let us in, I pray thee, and take our whiffs. Love. Whiff in with your sister, brother boy.

[Exeunt KAS. and Dame P.] That master That had received such happiness by a servant, In such a widow, and with so much wealth, Were very ungrateful, if he would not be A little indulgent to that servant's wit,

SIR-My hope is not so nourished by example, as it will conclude, this dumb piece should please you, because it hath pleased others before; but by trust, that when you have read it, you will find it worthy to have displeased none. This makes that I now number you, not only in the names of favour, but the names of justice to what I write; and do presently call you to the exercise of that noblest, and manliest virtue; as coveting rather to be freed in my fame, by the authority of a judge, than the credit of an undertaker. Read, therefore, I pray you, and cen

BEN. JONSON.

| EPICINE, supposed the Silent Woman. LADY HAUGHTY,

LADY CENTAURE,

MISTRESS DOL. MAVIS,)

Ladies Collegiates.

MISTRESS OTTER, the Captain's Wife,

MISTRESS TRUSTY, LADY HAUGHTY'S Pretenders. Woman,

Pages, Servants, etc.

Page to CLERIMONT.

Page. Yes, sir.

Cler. Let me hear it.

Page. You shall, sir; but i'faith let nobody else. Cler. Why, I pray?

Page. It will get you the dangerous name of a poet in town, sir; besides me a perfect deal of ill-will at the mansion you wot of, whose lady is the argument of it; where now I am the welcomest thing under a man that comes there.

Cler. I think; and above a man too, if the truth were rack'd out of you.

Page. No, faith, I'll confess before, sir. The gentlewomen play with me, and throw me on the bed, and carry me in to my lady: and she kisses me with her oil'd face, and puts a peruke on my head; and asks me an I will wear her gown? and I say, no: and then she hits me a blow o' the ear, and calls me Innocent!! and lets me go. Cler. No marvel if the door be kept shut against

1 Innocent-fool, or simpleton.

For he knows, poet never credit gain'd

By writing truths, but things, like truths, well feign'd.

If any yet will, with particular sleight
Of application, wrest what he doth write;
And that he meant, or him, or her, will say:
They make a libel, which he made a play.

your master, when the entrance is so easy to you -Well, sir, you shall go there no more, lest I be fain to seek your voice in my lady's rushes,' a fortnight hence. Sing, sir. [Page sings.

Still to be neat, still to be drest

Enter TRUEWIT.

True. Why, here's the man that can melt away his time and never feels it! What between his mistress abroad and his ingle2 at home, high fare, soft lodging, fine clothes, and his fiddle, he thinks the hours have no wings, or the day no post-horse. Well, Sir Gallant, were you struck with the plague this minute, or condemn'd to any capital punishment to-morrow, you would begin then to think, and value every article of your time, esteem it at the true rate, and give all for it.

Cler. Why, what should a man do?

True. Why, nothing; or that which, when 'tis done, is as idle. Hearken after the next horse

1 rushes were then used as carpets are at the present day.

ingle originally meant a male favourite of the most detestable kind. Nares thinks this the meaning in the text. Afterwards it meant an intimate friend; and Gifford thinks this the meaning here, connecting it with Scotch ingle, the fire, or fire-place.