a

them.

a

Patch. Do't! what, whether you will or no, I have you committed against the god of love, that madam?

he should revenge them so severely, to stamp Sir Geo. Come, to the point; here's the gold; husband on your forehead? sum up the conditions

Sir Geo. For my folly, in having so often met (Sir Fran. pulling out a paper.]

you here, without pursuing the laws of nature, Mir. (Peeping.) Ay, for Heaven's sake do, for and exercising her command- -But I resolve, my expectation is on the rack !

ere we part now, to know who you are, where Sir Fran. Well, at your peril be it.

you live, what kind of flesh and blood

your

face Sir Geo. Ay, ay; go on.

is; therefore, unmask, and don't put me to the Sir Fran. Imprimis, you are to be admitted trouble of doing it for you. into my house in order to move your suit to Mir- Mir. My face is the same flesh and blood with anda, for the space of ten minutes, without let my hand, sir George, which, if you'll be so rude or molestation, provided I remain in the same to provokeroom.

Sir Geo. You'll apply it to my cheek—the laSir Geo. But out of earshot.

dies' favours are always welcome, but I must Sir Fran. Well, well, I don't desire to hear have that cloud withdrawn. [Taking hold of what you say; ha, ha, ha! in consideration I her.}-Remember you are in the Park, child; am to have that purse and a hundred guineas. and what a terrible thing would it be to lose this

Sir Geo. Take it- [Gives him the purse. pretty white hand !

Mir. (Peeping.) So ! 'tis well it's no worse: I'll Mir. And how will it sound in a chocolatefit you both

house, that sir George Airy rudely pulled off a Šir Geo. And this agreement is to be perform- lady's mask, when he had given her his honour ed to-day.

that he never would, directly or indirectly, enSir Fran. Ay, ay; the sooner the better. deavour to know her till she gave him leave? Poor fool! how Miranda and I shall laugh at Patch. I wish we were safe out. himn - Well, sir George, ha, ha, ha! take the Sir Geo. But, if that lady thinks fit to pursue, last sound of your guineas, ha, ha, ha! [Chinks and meet me at every turn, like some troubled

[Erit. spirit, shall I be blamed if I inquire into the realiMír. (Peeping.) Sure he does not know I am ty? I would have nothing dissatisfied in a female Miranda.

shape. Sir Geo. A very extraordinary bargain I have Mir. What all I do?

[Pauses, made truly, if she should be really in love Sir Geo. Aye, prithee, consider; for thou shalt with this old cuff now!- -Psha ! that's moral- find me very much at thy service. ly impossible. But then, what hopes have I Patch. Suppose, sir, the lady should be in love to succeed? I never spoke to her

with you? Mir. (Peeping.] Say you so ? then I am safe. Sir Geo. Oh! I'll return the obligation in a

Sir Geo. What though my tongue never spoke? moment. my eyes said a thousand things, and my hopes Patch. And marry her? flattered me her's answered them. If I'm lucky Sir Geo. Ha, ha, ha! that's not the way to -If not, it is but a hundred guineas thrown love her, child.

(MIRANDA and Patch come forward. Mir. If he discovers me I shall die-Which Mir. Upon what, sir George?

way shall I escape? Let me see- [Pauses. Sir Geo. Ha! my incognita—upon a woman, Sir Geo. Well, madammadam.

Mir. I have it—Sir George, 'tis fit you should Mir, They are the worst things you can deal allow something; if you'll excuse my face, and in, and damage the soonest; your very breath turn your back, (if you look upon me I shall sink, destroys them, and, I fear, you'll never see your even masked as I ain) I will confess why I have return, sir George, ha, ha, ha!

engaged you so often, who I am, and where I Sir Geo. Were they more brittle than china, live. and dropped to pieces with a touch, every atom Sir Geo. Well, to shew you I'm a man of hoof her I have ventured at, if she is but mistress nour, I accept the conditions: let me but once of thy wit, balances ten times the sum. Prithee, know those, and the face won't be long a secret let me see thy face !

Mir. By no means; that may spoil your opi- Patch. What mean you, madam? nion of my sense

Mir. To get off. Sir Geo. Rather confirm it, madam.

Sir Geo. 'Tis something indecent to turn one's Patch. So, rob the lady of your gallantry, sir. back upon a lady; but you command, and I obey.

Sir Geo. No, child; a dish of chocolate in the [Turns his back.) Come, madam, begin— morning never spoils my dinner: the other lady Mir. First, then, it was my unhappy lot to see I design a set meal; so there's no danger. you at Paris (Draws back a little way, and

Mir. Matrimony! Ha, ha, ha! What crimes speaks.), at a ball upon a birthday; your shape

away.

to me.

a

a

and air charmed my eyes, your wit and complai- I expects I should comfort her; and, to do her sance my soul, and fron that fatal night I loved justice, she has said enough to encourage me. you

[Drawing back. Turns about.] Ha! gone! the devil! Jilted!

Why, what a tale has she invented—of Paris, And when you left the place grief seized me so, balls, and birth-days ! Egad I'd give ten guineas Nor rest my heart nor sleep my eyes could know, to know who the gipsey is—A curse of my follyLast I resolved a hazardous point to try,

I deserve to lose her. What woman can forgive And quit the place in search of liberty. (Exit. a man that turus his back!

Sir Geo. Excellent!—I hope she's handsome- The bold and resolute in love and war Well, now madam, to the two other things, your To conquer take the right and swiftest way; name, and where you live-I am a gentleman, The boldest lover soonest gains the fair, and this confession will not be lost upon me As courage makes the rudest force obey : Nay, prithee, don't weep, but go on, for I find my Take no denial, and the damnes adore ye; heart melts in thy behalf-Speak quickly, or I Closely pursue them, and they fall before ye. shall turn about Not yet-Poor lady! she

[Erit.

ACT II.

a

SCENE I.

with my own money! Which way shall I get out of his hands.

[Aside. Enter Sir FRANCIS GRIPE and MIRANDA.

Sir Fran. Well, what art thou thinking, my Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha, ha!

girl, ha ? how to banter sir George ! Mir. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh, I shall die Mir. I must not pretend to banter: he knows with laughing—the most romantic adventure- my tongue too well. [Aside.] No, Gardy, I have Ha, ha, ha! What does the odious young fop thought of a way will confound him more than mean? A hundred pieces to talk ten minutes with all I could say, if I should talk to him seven me! ha, ha, ha, ha!

years. Sir Fran. And I am to be by too; there's the Sir Fran. How's that? oh! I'm transported, jest! adad, if it had been in private, I should not I'm ravished, I'm mad ! have cared to trust the young dog.

Mir. It would make you mad if you knew all: Mir. Indeed and indeed but you might, Gar- [Aside.) I'll not answer him a word, but be dumb dy-Now, methinks, there's nobody handsomer to all he says. than you : so neat, so clean, so good-humoured, Sir Fran. Dumb! good; ha, ha, ha! Exceland so loving

lent! ha, ha, ha, ha! I think I have you now, Sir Fran. Pretty rogue, pretty rogue ! and so Sir George. Dúmb! he'll go distracted-well, thou shalt find me, if thou dost prefer thy Gardy she's the wittiest rogue. Ha, ha, dumb! I can't before these caperers of the age : thou shalt out but laugh, ha, ha! to think how damned mad shine the queen's box on an opera night; thou he'll be when he finds he has given his money shalt be the envy of the ring, (for I will carry away for a dumb show ; ha, ha, ha! thee to Hyde-Park) and thy equipage shall sur- Mir. Nay, Gardy, if he did but know my pass thewhat d'ye call them, ainbassadors. thoughts of him, it would make him ten times

Mir. Nay, I am sure the discreet part of my madder; ha, ha, ha, ha! sex will envy me more for the inside furniture, Sir Fran. Ay, so it would, Chargy, to hold him when you are in it, than my outside equipage. in such derision, to scorn to answer him, to be

Sir Fran. A cunning baggage i'faith thou art, dumb ! ha, ha, ha! and a wise one too! and, to shew thee that thou hast not chose amiss, I'll this moment disinherit

Enter CHARLES. my son, and settle my whole estate upon thee. Sir Fran. How now, sirrah! who let you in?

Mir. There's an old rogue now! [ Aside.] No, Cha. My necessities, sir. Gardy, I would not have your name be so black Sir Fran. Your necessities are very impertiin the world. You know my father's will runs, nent, and ought to have sent before they entered. that I am not to possess iny estate, without your Cha. Sir, I knew 'twas a word would gain adconsent, till I am five-and-twenty; you shall only mittance nowhere, abate the odd seven years, and make me mistress Sir Fran. Then, sirrah, how durst you rudely ot' my estate to-day, and I'll make you master of thrust that upon your father, which nobody else my person to-morrow.

would adinit? Sir Fran, Humph! that may not be safe- Cha. Sure the name of a son is a sufficient plea. No, Chargy, I'll settle it upon thee for pin-money, I ask this lady's pardon if I have intruded. and that will be every bit as well, thou know'st. Sir Fran. Ay, ay; ask her pardon and her blesMir. Unconscionable old wretch! bribe me sing, too, if you expect any thing from me.

a

a

Mir, I believe yours, Sir Francis, in a purse of

Sir Fran. So! here's another extravagant coxguineas, would be more material. Your son may comb, that will spend his fortune before he comes have business with you; I'll retire.

to't; but he shall pay swinging interest, and so Sir Fran. I guess his business; but I'll dis- let the fool go on.-Well, what, does necessity patch him; I expect the knight every minute : bring you too, sir? you'll be in readiness?

Mar. You have hit it, guardian--I want a Mir. Certainly: my expectation is more upon hundred pounds. the wing than yours, old gentleman. (Aside. Erit. Sir Fran. For what? Sir Fran. Well, sir?

Mar. Pogh! for a hundred things I can't, Cha. Nay, it is very ill, sir; my circumstances for iny life, tell you for what. are, I'm sure.

Cha. Sir, I suppose I have received all the anSir Fran. And what's that to me, sir ? your swer I am like to have. management should have made them better. Mur. Oh, the devil! if he gets out before me,

Cha. If you please to entrust me with the ma- I shall lose him again. nagement of my estate, I shall endeavour it, sir. Sir Fran. Ay, sir; and you may be marching

Sir Fran. What, to set upon a card, and buy as soon as you please-I must see a change in a lady's favour at the price of a thousand pieces; your temper, ere you find one in mine. to rig out an equipage for a wench, or, by your Mar. Pray, sir, dispatch me'; the money, sir; carelessness, to enrich your steward; to fine for I'm in mighty haste. sheriff, or put up for a parliament-man?

Sir Fran. Fool, take this, and go to the cashCha. I hope I should not spend it this way: ier. I sha'nt be long plagued with thee. however, I ask only for what my uncle left me;

[Gives him a note. yours you may dispose of as you please, sir.

Mar. Devil take the cashier! I shall certainSir Fran. That I shall, out of your reach, I ly have Charles gone before I come back. assure you, sir, Adad, these young fellows think

(Runs out. old men get estates for nothing but them to Cha. Well, sir, I take my leave--but rememsquander away in dicing, wenching, drinking, ber, you expose an only son to all the miseries of dressing, and so forth!

wretched poverty, which too often lays the plan Cha. I think I was born a gentleman, sir; I'm tor scenes of mischiet. sure my uncle bred me like one,

Sir Fran. Stay, Charles; I have a sudden Sir Fran. From which you would infer, sir, thought come into my head, may prove to thy that gaming, whoring, and the pox, are requisites advantage. for a gentleman.

Cha. Ha! does he relent? Cha. Monstrous ! when I would ask him only Sir Fran. My Lady Wrinkle, worth forty thoufor a support, he falls into these unmannerly re- sand pounds, sets up for a handsome young husproaches. I must, though against my will, em- band; she praised thec t'other day; though the ploy invention, and, by stratagem, relieve myself. matchmakers can get twenty guineas for a sight

(Aside. of her, I can introduce thee for nothing. Sir Fran. Sirrah, what is it you mutter, sirrah? Cha. My lady Wrinkle, sir! why, she has but ha! (Holds up his cane. I say you sha’nt have a groat out of my hands, till I please--and may Sir Fran. Then she'll see but half

your

extrabe I'll never pleasc; and what's that to you?

vagance, sir. Cha. Nay, to be robbed, or bave one's throat Cha. Condemn me to such a piece of deforcut, is not much

mity! a toothless, dirty, wry-necked, hunchSir Fran. What's that, sirrah? would you rob backed hag! me, or cut my throat, ye rogue?

Sir Fran. Hunch-backed! so much the better; Cha. Heaven forbid, sir !-I said no such then she has a rest for her misfortunes, for thou thing.

wilt load her swingingly. Now, I warrant, you Sir Fran. Mercy on me! what a plague it is think this is no offer of a father! forty thousand to have a son of one-and-twenty, who wants to pounds is nothing with you! elbow one out of one's life to edge himself into Cha. Yes, sir, I think it is too much; a young, the estate !

beautiful woman, with half the money, would be

more agreeable.--I thank you, sir; but you chuse Enter MARPLOT.

better for yourself, I find.

Sir Fran. Out of my doors, you dog! you preMar. Fgad, he's here!- I was afraid I had lost tend to meddle with my marriage, sirrah? him: his secret could not be with his father; his Cha. Sir, I obey: butwants are public there.-Guardian, your servant Sir Fran. But me no buts-- Begone, sir! daro - Charles, are you there? I know, by that sor- to ask me for money again----refuse forty thourowful countenance of thine, the old gentleman's sand pounds! Out of iny doors, I say, without refist is as close as his strong box---But I'll help ply! thee. [ Apart.

[Erit CHA. Vol. II.

3 U

one eye.

a

now.

a

Enter Marplot, running.

Sir Geo. Shake off this tyrant guardian's yoke;

assume yourself, and dash his bold aspiring hopes. Mar. Ha! gone! is Charles gone, Gardy? The deity of his desires is avarice; a heretick in

Sir Fran. Yes, and I desire your wise worship love, and ought to be banished by the queen of to walk after him.

beauty. See, madam, a faithful servant kneels, Mar. Nay, egad I shall run; I tell you that. and begs to be admitted in the number of your А

pox of the cashier for detaining me so long ! slaves. Where the devil shall I find him now? I shall (MIRANDA gives him her hand to raise him. certainly lose this secret; and I had rather by Sir Fran. I wish I could hear what he says half lose iny money

-Where shall I find him [Running up.] Hold, hold, hold ! no palmnow ? --D'ye know where Charles is gone, ing; that's contrary to articlesGardy?

Sir Geo. 'Sdeath, sir, keep your distance, or I'll Sir Fran. Gone to the devil, and you may go write another article in your guts ! after him.

[Lays his hand to his sword. Mar. Ay, that I will, as fast as I can. (Going, Sir Fran. (Going back ] A bloody-minded felrelurns.] Have you any commands there, Gardy? | low!

[Erit.

Sir Geo. Not answer me! perhaps she thinks Sir Fran. What, is the fellow distracted? my address too grave: I'll be more free--Can

you be so unconscionable, madam, to let me say all Enter Servant.

these fine things to you without one single com, Ser. Sir George Airy inquires for you, sir. pliment in return? View me well; am I not a

Sir Fran. Desire sir George to walk up. proper handsome fellow, hai can you prefer Now for a trial of skill, that will make me happy, that old, dry, withered, sapless log, of sixty-five, and him a fool. Ha, ha, ha! In my mind, he to the vigorous, gay, sprightly love of twentylooks like an ass already.

four? With snoring only he'll awake thee; but I,

with ravishing delight, would make thy senses Enter Sir GEORGE.

dance in concert with the joyful minutes -Ha! Well, sir George, do you hold in the same mind, not yet? Sure she's dumb !=Thus would I steal or would you capitulate? ha, ha, ha! Look, here and touch thy beauteous hand, (Takes hold of are the guineas; [Chinks them.] ha, ha, ha! her hand.] till, by degrees, I reach'd thy snowy

Sir Geo. Not if they were twice the sum, sir breasts, then ravish kisses thus. Francis; therefore be brief, call in the lady, and

[Embraces her with ecstacy. take your post.

Mir. [Struggles, and flings from him.] Oh, Sir Fran. Agreed. Miranda ! [Erit. heavens! I shall not be able to contain myself. Sir Geo. If she's a woman, and not seduced

Aside. by witchcraft to this old rogue, I'll make bis heart Sir Fran. [Running up with his watch in his ache; for if she has but one grain of inclination hand.] sure she did not speak to him-There's about her, I'll vary a thousand shapes but find it. five of the ten minutes gone, sir George-Adad,

I don't like those close conferences-
Enter MIRANDA and Sir FRANCIS.

Sir Geo. More interruptions !-you will have it, sir !

[Lays his hand to his sword. Sir Fran. There, sir George; try your fortune. Sir Fran. (Going back.] No, no; you shan't [Takes out his watch. have her neither.

(Aside. Sir Geo. So from the eastern chambers breaks Sir Geo. Dumb still!—sure this old dog has the sun, dispels the clouds, and gilds the vales enjoined her silence. I'll try another way—I below.

[Salutes her. must conclude, madam, that, in compliance to Sir Fran. Hold, sir; kissing was not in our your guardian's humour you refuse to answer me. agreement.

Consider the injustice of his injunction.—MaSir Geo. Oh! that's by way of prologue. Pr'y- dam, these few minutes cost me a hundred thee, old Mammon, to thy post.

pounds—and would you answer me, I could purSir Fran. Well, young Timon, 'tis now fourchase the whole day so. However, madam, you exactly; ten minutes, remember, is your utmost must give me leave to make the best interpretalimit; not a minute more..

tion I can for my money, and take the indica(Retires to the bottom of the stage. tion of your silence for the secret liking of my Sir Geo. Madam, whether you'll excuse or person; therefore, madam, I will instruct you blame my love, the author of this rash proceed- how to keep your word inviolate to sir Francis, ing depends upon your pleasure, as also the life and yet answer me to every question : as, for of your admirer : your sparkling eyes speak a example, when I ask any thing to which you heart susceptible of love; your vivacity a soul would reply in the afhrinative, gently nod your too delicate to admit the embraces of decayed head-thus, [Nods.] and when in the negative, mortality,

thus, (Shakes his head.) and in the doubtful, 4 Mir. (Aside.] Oh! that I durst speak- tender sigh, thus, [Sighs.]

6

up

Mir. How every action charms me—but I'll fit ,[Reads.] ^ Dear sir George! this virgin muse I him for signs, I warrant him.

[Aside. consecrate to you; which, when it has received Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! poor sir George ! ba, the addition of your voice, 'twill charm me into ha, ha!

[Aside. a desire of liberty to love, which you, and only Sir Geo. Was it by his desire that you are, you, can fix! My angel ! ob, you transport me ! dumb, madam, to all I can say ? [MIRANDA (Kisses the letter.) And see the power of your nods.) Very well! she's tractable, I find-And command! the god of love has set the verse alis it possible that you can love him? [MIRANDA ready, the flowing numbers dance into a tune, nods. Miraculous! Pardon the bluntness of my and I'ın inspired with a voice to sing it. questions; for my time is short. May I not Mir. I'm sure thou’rt inspired with impudence hope to supplant himn in your esteem? [MIRAN- enough:

[Aside. Da sighs.] Good! she answers me as I could wish. - You'll not consent to marry bim, then? [Mi

Sir Geo. Great love inspire him, RANDA sighs.] How ! doubtful in that?-Undone

Say I admire him. again-Humph! but that may proceed from his

Give me the lover,

That can discover power to keep her out of her estate till twentytive: I'll try that—Come, madam, I cannot

Secret devotion think you hesitate in this affair out of any motive

From silent motion ; but your fortune—let him keep it till those few

Then don't betray me; years are expired; make me happy with your

But hence contey me. person, let him enjoy your wealth.-[MIRANDA [Sir Geo. taking hold of Miran.] With all my holds her hands.) Why, what sign is that now? heart; this moment let's retire. Nay, nay, madam, except you observe my les

[Sir Fran. coming up hastily. son, I can't understand your meaning.

Sir Fran. The time is expired, sir, and you Sir Fran. What a vengeance ! are they talk- must take your leave. There, my girl, there's ing by signs? 'ad I may be fooled here. What the hundred pounds which thou hast woul. Go, do you mean, sir George?

I'll be with you presently. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Sir Geo. To cut your throat, if you dare mut

[Erit Miran. ter another syllable.

Sir Geo. Adsheart, madam! you won't leave Sir Fran. 'Od I wish he were fairly out of me just in the nick, will you? my house!

Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! she has nicked you, sir Sir Geo. Pray, madam, will you answer me George, I think ; ha, ha, ha! Have you any more to the purpose! (Miranda shakes her head, and hundred pounds to throw away upon courtship? points to Sir FRANCIS.) What does she mean? she ha, ha, ha! won't answer me to the purpose; or is she afraid Sir Geo. He, he, he, he! A curse of your yon old cuff should understand her signs ?- -ay, Meering jests !-Yet, however ill I succeed, I'll it must be that. I perceive, madam, you are venture the same wager she does not value thee too apprehensive of the promise you have made a spoonful of snuff--nay, inore, though you ento follow my rules; therefore, I'll suppose your joined her silence to me, you'll never make her mind, and answer for you.— First for myself, speak to the purpose

with

yourself. madam. That I am in love with you, is an infalli- Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! Did I not tell thee. ble truth. Now for you. (Turns on her side.] thou wouldst repent thy money? Did I not say Indeed, sir ! and may I believe it?--As cer- she hated young fellows? ha, ha, ha! tainly, madam, as that 'tis daylight, or that I die, Sir Geo. And I'm positive she's not in love if you persist in silence.— Bless me with the mu- with age. sic of your voice, and raise my spirits to their Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! no matter for that, ha, proper heaven. Thus low let me intreat, ere I'm ha! She's not taken with your youth, nor your obliged to quit this place; grant me some token rhetoric to boot; ha, ha! of a favourable reception to keep my hopes alive. Sir Geo. Whate'er her reasons are for disliking (Arises hastily, turns on her side.] Rise, sir; and of me, I am certain she can be taken with nosince my guardian's presence will not allow me thing about thee. privilege of tongue, read that, and rest assured Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! how he swells with you are not indifferent to me. [Offers her a let- envy-Poor man! poor man !-ha, ha, ha! I ter, she strikes it down.] Ha, right woman! but must beg your pardon, sir George; Miranda will no matter; I'll go on.

be impatient to have her share of mirth. Verily, Sir Fran. Ha! what's that? a letter !Ha, we shall laugh at thee most egregiously; ha, ha, ha, ha! thou art baulked.

ha! Mir. The best assurance I ever saw

Sir Geo. With all my heart, faith I shall

[Aside. laugh in my turn, too !-for, if you dare marry Sir Geo. Ha! a letter! oh! let me kiss it her, old Belzebub, you will be cuckolded most with the same raptures that I would do the dear egregiously: remember that, and tremblehand that touched it. (Opens it.] Now for a quick She that to age her beauteous self resigns, fancy, and a long extempore What's here? Shews witty management for close designs ;