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when she meets me at an assembly; or you and Enter MYRTILLA, with a Constable. I in our coach and six at Hyde Park together!
Count Bas. Ay, or when she hears the box Con. Well, madam, pray which is the party keepers at an opera, call out—The countess of that wants a spice of my office here? Basset's servants !
Myr. That's the gentleman. Jenny. Well, I say it, that will be delicious !
,[Pointing to the Count. And then, mayhap, to have a fine gentleman, Count Bas. Hey-day! what, in masquerade, with a star and a what-d'ye-call-um ribbon, lead doctor? me to my chair, with his hat under his arm all Con. Doctor! Sir, I believe you have mistathe way! Hold up, says the chairman; and so, ken your
man : but, if you are called count Bassays I, my lord, your humble servant. I suppose, set, I have a billet-doux in my
that madam, says he, we shall see you at my lady will set you right presently. Quadrille's? Ay, ay, to be sure, my lord, says I — Count Bas. What the devil's the meaning of So in swops me, with my hoop stuffed up to my all this?, forehead; and away they trot, swing ! swang! Con. Only my lord chief justice's warrant with my tassels dangling, and my flambeaux bla- against you for forgery, sir. zing, and —Oh, it's a charming thing to be a Count Bas. Blood and thunder! woman of quality!
Con. And so, sir, if you please to pull off your Count Bas. Well! I see that, plainly, my dear, fool's frock there, I'll wait upon you to the next there's ne'er a duchess of them all will become justice of peace immediately an equipage like you.
Jenny. Oh, dear me, what's the matter? Jenny. Well, well, do you find equipage, and
[Trembling. I'll find airs, I warrant you.
Count Bas. Oh, nothing, only a masquerading frolic, my dear.
Squire Rich. Oh, ho! is that all ?
Sir Fran. No, sirrah! that is not all!
[Sir Francis, coming softly behind the What though they call me country loss,
squire, knocks him down with his cane. I read it plainly in my glass, That for a duchess I might pass ;
Enter MANLY. Oh, could I see the day!
Squire Rich. Oh, lawd! Oh, lawd! he has Would fortune but attend my call,
beaten my brains out. Al park, at play, at ring, und ball,
Mun. Hold, hold, sir Francis ! have a little I'd brave the proudest of them all,
mercy upon my poor godson, pray, sir. With a stand by-clear the way!
Sir Fran. Wounds, cousin, I han't patience.
Count Bus. Manly! nay, then, I'm blown to Surrounded by a crowd of beaur,
(Aside. With smart toupees, and powdered clothes, Squire Rich. Oh, my head ! my head ! At rivals I'd turn up my nose ; Oh, could I see the duy!
Enter Lady WRONGHEAD. I'd dart such glunces from these eyes,
Lady Wrong. What's the matter here, gentle Should make some lord or duke my prixe :
men? For Heaven's sake! What, are you murAnd then, oh, how I'd tyrunnize,
dering my children? With a stand by-clear the way!
Con. No, no, madam! no murder! only a little
suspicion of felony, that's all. Oh, then for every new delight,
Sir Fran. (TO JENNY.) And for you, Mrs HotFor equipage and diamonds bright,
upon't, I could find in my heart to make you wear Quadrille, and plays, and balls all night ; that habit as long as you live, you jade you. Do Oh, could I see the day!
you know, hussy, that you were within two miOf love and joy I'd take my fill,
nutes of marrying a pickpocket? The tedious hours of life to kill,
Count Bas. So, so, all's out I find. [Aside. In every thing I'd have my will,
Jenny. Oh, the mercy! why, pray, papa, is not With a stand by—clear the way!
the count a man of quality, then?
Sir Fran. Oh, yes, one of the unhanged ones, Squire Rich. Troth! I think this masquera- it seems. ding's the merriest game that ever I saw in my Lady Wrong. [Aside.] Married! Oh, the conlife! Thof' in my mind, an there were but a fident thing! There was his urgent business, little wrestling, or cudgel-playing naw, it would then-slighted for her! I han't patience !-and, belp it hugely. But what'a-rope makes the par- for aught I know, I have been all this while mason stay so?
king a friendship with a highwayman. Count Bas. Oh, here he comes, I believe. Man. Mr Constable, secure there.
Sir Fran. Ah, my lady! my lady! this comes Count Bas. I, sir ! of your journey to London: but now I'll have a Man. I know you have—therefore, you can't frolic of my own, madam; therefore pack up blame her, if, in the fact you are charged with, your trumpery this very night; for, the moment she is a principal witness against you. Howmy horses are able to crawl, you and your brats ever, you have one, and only one chance to get shall make a journey into the country again. off with. Marry her this instant—and you take
Lady Wrong. Indeed, you are mistaken, sir off her evidence. Francis I shall not stir out of town, yet, I pro
Count Bas. Dear sir !
Man. No words, sir; a wife, or a mittimus. Sir Fran. Not stir? Waupds, madam
Count Bas. Lord, sir ! this is the most unmerMan. Hold, sir ! If you'll give me leave a lit- ciful mercy! tle-I fancy I shall prevail with my lady to Man. A private penance, or a public onethink better on't.
Constable. Sir Fran. Ah, cousin, you are a friend, in Count Bas. Hold, sir ; since you are pleased to deed!
give me my choice, I will not make so ill a Man. (Apart to my lady.] Look you, madam, compliment to the lady, as not to give her the as to the favour you designed me, in sending this preference. spurious letter inclosed to my lady Grace, all the Man. It must be done this minute, sir: the revenge I have taken, is to have saved your son chaplain you expected is still within call. and daughter from ruin. Now, if you will take Count Bas. Well, sir, -since it must be them fairly and quietly into the country again, I so -Come, spouse
-I am not the first of will save your ladyship from ruin.
the fraternity, that has run his head into one Lady Wrong. What do you mean, sir? noose, to keep it out of another. Man. Why, sir Francis shall never know Myr. Come, sir, don't repine : marriage is, at what is in this letter; look upon it. How it worst, but playing upon the square. came into my hands, you shall know at leisure. Count Bas. Ay, but the worst of the match,
Lady Wrong. Hal-my billet-doux to the too, is the devil. count ! and an appointment in it! I shall sink Man. Well, sir, to let you see it is not so bad with confusion !
as you think it, as a reward for her honesty, in Man. What shall I say to sir Francis, ma- detecting your practices, instead of the forged dam?
bill you would have put upon her, there's a real Lady Wrong. Dear sir, I am in such a trem one of five hundred pounds to begin a new honey bling ! preserve my honour, and I am all obe
[Gives it to Myrtillå. dience.
(Apart to Manly. Count Bas. Sir, this is so generous an actMan. Sir Francis -my lady is ready to re Man. No compliments, dear sir-I am vot at ceive your commands for her journey, whenever leisure now to receive them. Mr Constable, will you please to appoint it.
you be so good as to wait upon this gentleman Sir Fran. Ab, cousin, I doubt I am obliged into the next room, and give this lady in mar
riage to hiin? Man. Come, come, sir Francis; take it as you Con. Sir, I'll do it faithfully. find it. Obedience in a wife is a good thing, Count Bas. Well, five hundred will serve to though it were never so wonderful ! And now, make a handsome push with, however. sir, we have nothing to do but to dispose of this [Exeunt Count Basset, Myrtilla, and gentleman,
Constable. Count Bas. Mr Manly! sir! I hope
won't Sir Fran. And that I may be sure my family's ruin me!
rid of him for ever-come, my lady, let's even Man. Did you forge this note for five hun- take our children along with us, and be all witdred pounds, sir?
nesses of the ceremony. Count Bas. Sir - I see you know the world, [Exeunt Sir Francis, LADY WRONGHEAD, and, therefore, I shall not pretend to prevaricate Miss and Squire.] -But it has hurt nobody yet, sir; I beg you will Mun. Now, my lord, you may enter. not stigmatise me; since you have spoiled my fortune in one family, I hope you won't be so
Enter LORD and LADY, TOWnLy, and LADY
GRACE. cruel to a young fellow, as to put it out of my power, sir, to make it in another, sir.
Lord Town. So, sir, I give you joy of your neMan. Look you, sir, I have not much time to gociation. waste with you : but, if you expect mercy your
Man. You overheard it all, I presume? self, you must shew it to one you have been cru Lady Grace. From first to last, sir.
Lord Town. Never were knaves and fools betCount Bas. Cruel, sir !
ter disposed of. Man. Have you not ruined this young wo Man. A sort of poetical justice, my lord, not man?
inuch above the judgment of a modern comedi.
to you for it.
Lord Town. To heighten that resemblance, I Lady Town. Sister, I give you joy consumthink, sister, there only wants your rewarding mate as the happiest pair can boast. the hero of the fable, by naming the day of his happiness.
In you, methinks, as in a glass, I see Lady Grace. This day, to-morrow, every hour, The happiness, that once advanced to me. I hope, of life to come, will shew I want not in So visible the bliss, so plain the way, clination to complete it.
How was it possible my sense could stray ? Man. Whatever I may want, madam, you will But now, a convert to this truth I come, always find endeavours to deserve you.
That married happiness is never found from Lord Town. Then, all are happy.
SCENE I.-Ranger's chambers in the Temple. Ser. I was only below combing out your bo
A knocking is heard at the door for some nour's wig. time ; when Ranger enters, huving let him Ran. Well, give me my cap.-[Pulling off his
wig.] Why, how like a raking dog do you look, Ran. Once more I am got safe to the Temple. compared to that spruce, sober gentleman! Go, Let me reflect a little. I have sat up all night : you battered devil, and be made fit to be seen! I hare
[Throwing his wig to the sertant. oaths, dice, and the damned tinkling of tavern
Ser. Cod, my master's very merry this mornbells; my spirits jaded, and my eyes sunk in my ing;
[Erit. head; and all this for the conversation of a com
Ran. And now for the law, pany of fellows I despise. Their wit lies only in
[Sits down, and reads. obscenity, their mirth in noise, and their delight • Tell me no more, I am deceiv'd, in a box and dice. Honest Ranger, take my
That Chloe's false and common; word for it, thou art a mighty silly fellow!
• By Heaven, I all along believ'd
• She was a very woman! Enter a Sercant, with a wig dressed.
• As such I lik’d, as such caress’d; Where have you been, rascal ? If I had not
She still was constant when possessed : had the key in my pocket, I must have waited at
• She could do more for no man.' che door in this dainty dress.
Honest Congreve was a man after my own heart.
Servants pass over the stage.
Ran. Civil! Egad, I think I am very civil.
[Kisses her again. Have you been for the money this morning, as I ordered you?
Enter a Servant, and BELLAMY. Ser. No, sir. You bade me go before you was Ser. Sir, Mr Bellamy. up; I did not know your honour meant before Ran. Damn your impertinence
-Oh, Mr you went to bed.
Bellamy, your servant.
mistress? siness. Go to the coffee-house, and inquire if there Ran. Bid her make half a dozen more; but has been any letter or message left for me. be sure you bring them home yourself. [Erit Ser. I shall, sir.
Milliner.] Pshaw! Pox! Mr Bellamy, how Ran. [Repeats.]
should you like to be served so yourself?
Bel. How can you, Ranger, for a minute's *You think she's false; I'm sure she's kind : pleasure, give an innocent girl the pain of heart . I take her body, You her mind;
I am contident she felt? There was a modest Which has the better bargain?
blush upon her cheek that convinces me she is Oh, that I had such a soft, deceitful fair, to lull Ran. May be so. I was resolved to try, howmuy senses to their desired sleep! (Knocking at ever, had you not interrupted the experiment. the door.] Come in.
Bel. Fy, Rauger! will you never think?
Run. Yes; but I cannot be always athinking. Enter Simon.
The law is a damnable dry study, Mr Bellamy; Oh, master Simon, is it you? How long have you and without something now and then to amuse been in town?
and relax, it would be too much for my brain, I Sim. Just come, sir; and but for a little time promise ye -But I am a mighty sober fellow neither ; and yet I have as many messages as if grown. Here have I been at it these three hours; we were to stay the whole year round. Here but the wenches will never let me alone. they are, all of them, [Pulls out a number of Bel. Three hours! Why, do you usually study cards.) and, among them, one for your honour. in such shoes and stockings ?
Run. (Reads.] Clarinda's compliments to her Ran. Rat your inquisitive eyes ! Ex pede Her'cousin Ranger, and should be glad to see him culem. Egad, you have me. The truth is, I am ' for ever so little a time that he can be spared but this moment returned from the tavern. What, ' from the more weighty business of the law.'| Frankly here, too ! Ha, ha, ha! the saine merry girl I ever knew her.
Enter FRANKLY. Sim. My lady is never sad, sir.
Frank. My boy, Ranger, I am heartily glad (Knocking at the door. to see you. Bellamy, let me embrace you; you Ran. Pr’ythee, Simon, open the door. are the person I want. I have been at your
lodgings, and was directed bither, Enter Milliner.
Ran. It is to him, then, I am obliged for this Well, child—and who are you?
visit: but with all my heart. He is the only Mil
. Sir, my mistress gives her service to you; man to whom I don't care how much I am obliand has sent you home the linen you bespoke. ged.
Ran. Well, Simon, my service to your lady, Bel. Your humble servant, sir. and let her know I will most certainly wait upon Frank. You know, Ranger, I want no induceher. I ain a little busy, Simon—and so ment to be with you. But you look sadly-
Sim. Ah, you're a wag, Master Ranger, you're What- --10 merciless jade has -has she? a wag -but mum for that.
[Erit. Ran. No, no; sound as a roach, my lad. I Run. I swear, my dear, you have the prettiest only got a little too much liquor last night, which I pair of eyes--the loveliest pouting lips--I have not slept off yet. never saw you before.
Bel. Thus, Frankly, it is every day. All the Mil. No, sir! I was always in the shop. morning his head aches; at noon, he begins to
Ran. Were you so ?-Well, and what does clear up; towards evening, he is good company; your mistress say? -The devil fetch me, child, and all night, he is carefully providing for the you looked so prettily, that I could not mind one same course the next day. word you said.
Ran. Why, I must own, my ghostly father, I Mil. Lard, sir, you are such another gentle did relapse a little last night, just to furnish out man!- Why, she says, she is sorry she could not a decent confession for the day. send them sooner. Shall I lay them down? Frank. And he is now doing penance for it.
Ran. No, child. Give them to me- - Dear Were you his confessor, indeed, you could not little smiling angel (Catches, and kisses her. well desire more. Alil. I beg, sir, you would be civil.
Ran. Charles, he sets up for a confessor with