should have told you first, I was in another lady's chamber. By the Lord, I got in at the window by a ladder of ropes ! Frank. Ha! Another lady? Ran. Another and stole in upon her whilst she was undressing; beautiful as an angel, blooming and young Frank. What, in the same house? Bel. What is this to Jacintha? Ease me of my pain. Ran. Ay, ay, in the same house, on the same floor. The sweetest little angel-But I design to have another touch with her. Frank. 'Sdeath! but you shall have a touch upon me first. Bel. Stay, Frankly. [Interposing. Ran. Why, what strange madness has possessed you both, that nobody must kiss a pretty wench but yourselves? Bel. What became of Jacintha? Ran. Ounds! what have you done, that you must monopolize kissing? Frank, Prithee, honest Ranger, ease me of the pain I am in. Was her name Clarinda? Bel. Speak in plain words, where Jacintha is, where to be found. Dear boy, tell me. Ran. Ay, now it is honest Ranger; and, dear boy, tell me—and a minute ago, my throat was to be cut-I could find in my heart not to open my lips. But here comes Jack Meggot, who will let you into all the secret, though he designed to keep it from you, in half the time that I can, though I had ever so great a mind to tell it you. Ran. The odds are against you, CharlesBut mine is married, you rogue, and her husband jealous-The devil is in it if I do not reap some reward for my last night's service. Bel. He has certainly beeu at Mrs Strictland herself. But, Frankly, I dare not look on you. Frank. This one embrace cancels all thoughts of enmity. Bel. Thou generous man!-But I must haste to ease Jacintha of her fears. [Exit BEL. Frank. And I to make up matters with Clarinda. [Exit FRANK. Ran. And I to some kind wench or other, Jack. But where shall I find her, Heaven knows. And so, my service to your monkey. J. Meg. Adicu, rattlepate. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-The hall of MR STRICTLAND'S house. Enter MRS STRICTLAND and CLARINDA. Mrs Strict. But why in such a hurry, my dear? stay till your servants can go along with you. Cla. Oh, no matter; they'll follow with my things. It is but a little way off, and my chair wili guard me. After my staying out so late last night, I am sure Mr Strictland will think every minute an age whilst I am in his house. Mrs Strict. I am as much amazed at his suspecting your innocence as my own; and every time I think of it, I blush at my present behaviour to you. Cla. No ceremony, dear child. Mrs Strict. No, Clarinda; I am too well acquainted with your good humour. But, I fear, in the eye of a malicious world, it may look like a confirmation of his suspicion. Cla. My dear, if the world will speak ill of me for the little innocent gaiety, which I think the peculiar happiness of my temper, I know no way to prevent it, and am only sorry the world is so ill-natured: but I shall not part with my mirth, I assure them, so long as I know it innocent. I wish, my dear, this may be the greatest uneasiness your husband's jealousy ever gives you. Mrs Strict. I hope he never again may have such occasion as he had last night. Cla. You are so unfashionable a wife! Why, last night's accident would have made halt the wives in London easy for life. Has not his jealousy discovered itself openly? And are not you innocent? There is nothing but your foolish temper that prevents his being absolutely in your power. Mrs Strict. Clarinda, this is too serious an affair to laugh at. Let me advise you, take care of Mr Frankly, observe his temper well, and if he has the least taint of jealousy, cast him off, and never trust to keeping him in your power. Cla. You will hear little more of Frankly, I believe. Here is Mr Strictland. Enter MR STRICTLAND and LUCETTA. Strict. Lucetta says you want me, madam. Cla. I trouble you, sir, only that I might return you thanks for the civilities I have received in your family, before I took my leave. Strict. Keep them to yourself, dear madam. As it is at my request that you leave my house, your thanks, upon that occasion, are not very desirable. Cla. Oh, sir, you need not fear. My thanks were only for your civilities. They will not overburden you. But I'll conform to your humour, sir, and part with as little ceremony Strict. As we met. Cla. The brute! [Aside.] My dear, good b'ye, we may meet again. [To MRS STRICT. Strict. If you dare trust me with your hand. Cla. Lucetta, remember my instructions. Now, | your young mistress; I come from Mr Bellamy; sir, have with you. I come with my purse full of gold, that persua sive rhetoric, to win you to let me see and speak to this Clarinda once again. [MR STRICTLAND leads CLARINDA out. Mrs Strict. Are her instructions cruel or kind, Lucetta? For I suppose they relate to Mr Frankly. Luc. Have you a mind to try if I can keep a secret as well as yourself, madam? But I will shew you I am fit to be trusted, by keeping this, though it signifies nothing. Mrs Strict. This answer is not so civil, I think. Luc. I beg pardon, madam, I meant it not to offend. Mrs Strict. Pray let us have no more such. I neither desire, nor want your assistance. Re-enter MR STRICTLAND. Strict. She is gone; I feel myself somewhat easier already. Since I have begun the day with gallantry, madam, shall I conduct you up? Mrs Strict. There is something, sir, which gives you secret uneasiness. I wish Luc. She is not here, sir. Luc. No; I cannot do that, neither. Enter MR STRICTLAND behind. Strict. I heard a knocking at the door, and a man's voice-Ha! [Aside. [Aside. Frunk. Deliver this letter to her. Frank. Take it, then-and with it this. Strict. Her mistress! Damned sex! And damned wife! thou art an epitome of that sex! [Aside. Frank. And, if you can procure me an answer, your fee shall be enlarged. [Exit FRANKLY. Luc. The next step is to get her to read this letter. Strict. Perhaps so, madam; and perhaps it may soon be no secret at all. [Leads her out. Luc. Would I were once well settled with my young lady! for, at present, this is but an odd sort of a queer family. Last night's affair puzzles me. A hat there was, that belonged to none of us, that's certain; madam was in a fright, that is as certain; and I brought all off. Jacintha escaped, no one of us knows how. The good Strict. [Snatches the letter.]-No noise--But man's jealousy was yesterday groundless; yet to-stand silent there, whilst I read this.-[Breaks it day, in my mind, he is very much in the right. open, and drops the case.]— Madam, the gaiety Mighty odd, all this!-Somebody knocks. If of a heart happy as mine was yesterday, may, I this should be Clarinda's spark, I have an odd message for him, too. [She opens the door. Enter FRANKLY. 6 ་ hope, easily excuse the unseasonable visit I 'made your house last night.'-Death and the devil! Confusion! I shall run distracted. It is too much! There was a man, then, to whom the hat belonged; and I was gulled, abused, cheat Frank. So, my pretty handmaid, meeting with you gives me some hopes. May I speak withed, imposed on by a chit, a child-Oh, woman, Clarinda? Luc. Whom do you want, sir? Frank. Clarinda, child. The young lady I was admitted to yesterday. Luc. Clarinda! No such person lives here, I assure you. Frank. Where, then? Luc. I don't know, indeed, sir. Luc. Nobody knows in this house, sir, you will find. Frank. What do you mean? She is a friend of Jacintha's, your lady. I will take my oath she was here last night; and you yourself spoke of her being here this morning-Not know! Luc. No; none of us know. She went away of a sudden-no one of us can imagine whither. Frank. Why, faith, child, thou hast a tolerable face, and hast delivered this dénial very handsomely but let me tell you, your impertinence this morning had like to have cost me my life now, therefore, make me amends. I come from; woman! But I will be calm, search it to the bottom, and have a full revenge Luc. [Aside.]-So, here's fine work! He'll make himself very ridiculous, though. Strict. [Reads on. I know my innocence 'will appear so manifestly, that I need only ap'peal to the lady who accompanied me to Bath.' Your very humble servant, good, innocent, fine Madam Clarinda. And I do not doubt but her good-nature,' bawd! bawd! will not let you persist in injuring your obedient humble servant, CHARLES FRANKLY.' Now, who can say my jealousy lacked foundation, or my suspicion of fine madam's innocent gaiety was unjust? Gaiety! Why, ay; 'twas gaiety brought him hither. Gaiety makes her a bawd-My wife may be a whore in gaiety.What a number of things become fashionable under the notion of gaiety! What, you received this epistle in gaiety, too? and were to deliver it to my wife, I suppose, when the gay fit came 1 next upon her? Why, you impudent young strumpet, do you laugh at me? 1 Chair. What, have you let the gentleman in? Luc. I would, if I dared, laugh most heartily. 2 Chair. I'll tell you what, partner, he certainBe pleased, sir, only to look at that piece of pa-ly slipt by whilst we were picking up the money. per that lies there. Come, take up. Strict. Ha! Luc. I have not touched it, sir. It is the case that letter came in; and the direction will inform you whom I was to deliver it to. Strict. This is directed to Clarinda! Luc. Oh, is it so? Now, read it over again, and all your foolish doubts will vanish. Strict. I have no doubts at all. I am satisfied that you, Jacintha, Clarinda, my wife, all are sir. Lue. Lud! Lud! You will make a body mad. Strict. Begone!--[Exit LUCETTA.]--They must be poor at the work, indeed, if they did not lend one another their names. 'Tis plain, 'tis evident, and I am miserable. But, for my wife, she shall not stay one night longer in my house. Separation, shame, contempt, shall be her portion. I am determined in the thing; and, when once it is over, I may, perhaps, be easy. SCENE III-The Street. [Exit. [Exeunt. SCENE IV. CLARINDA's lodgings. Enter CLARINDA, and maid following. Maid. Bless me, madam, you seem disordered! what's the matter? Cla. Some impertinent fellow followed the chair, and I am afraid they let him in.---[4 noise between RANGER and Landlady.]-I should certainly know that voice.-[RANGER talks with the Landlady.-My madcap cousin Ranger, as I live! I am sure he does not know me. If I could but hide my face now, what sport I should have! A mask, a mask! Run and see if you can find a mask. Maid. I believe there is one above. Cla. Run, run, and fetch it.---[Exit Maid.]Here he comes. Enter RANGER and Landlady. How unlucky is this? [Turning from them. Land. What's your business here, unmannerly sir? Ran. Well, let's see these lodgings that are to be let. Gad, a very pretty neat tenement--But hark'e, is it real and natural, all that, or only patched up, and new-painted this summer season, against the town fills? Land. What does the saucy fellow mean with Ran. Hark'e, chairmen! Damn your con- his double tenders here? Get you downfounded trot! Go slower. Cla. Here stop. Ran. By Heavens! The monsters hear reason, and obey. Cla. [Letting down the window.]-What troublesome fellow was that? 1 Chair. Some rake, I warrant, that cannot carry himself home, and wants us to do it for him. Cla. There And pray do you take care I be not troubled with him. [Goes in. Ran. That's as much as to say now, pray follow me. Madam, you are a charming woman, and I will do it 1 Chair. Stand off, sir! Run. Prithee, honest fellow-what-what writing is that? [Endeavouring to get in. 2 Chair. You come not here. Ran. Lodgings to be let: a pretty convenient inscription, and the sign of a good modest family. There may be lodgings for gentlemen as well as ladies. Hark'e, rogues; I'll lay you all the silver I have in my pocket, there it is, I get in there in spite of your teeth, ye pimps. [Throws down the money, and goes in. [Within] Chair, chair, chair! Chair. Who calls chair? Enter Maid with a mask. [Aside to CLARINDA. Cla. No matter- -now. we shall see a little what he would be at. [Aside. Land. This is an honest house. For all your laced waistcoat, I'll have you thrown down, neck and heels. Ran. Pho! not in such a hurry, good old lady -A mask! Nay, with all my heart. It saves me a world of blushing. Have you ne'er a one for me? I am apt to be ashamed myself, on these occasions. Land. Get you down, I say Ran. Not if I guess right, old lady. Madam, [To CLARINDA, who makes signs to the Land lady to retire.]-look ye there, now! that a woman should live to your age, and know so little of the matter. Begone!-[Exit Landlady.]--By her forwardness, this should be a whore of quality. My boy, Ranger, thou art in luck to-day. She wont speak, I find---then, I will.-[Aside.]--Delicate lodgings, truly, madam! and very neatly furnished--a very convenient room this, I must needs own, to entertain a mixed company. But, my dear charming creature, does not that Cla. Ha, ha, ha! the ladies are highly obliged to you, I vow. door open to a more commodious apartment, for | known her above these twelve hours;) the insithe happiness of a private friend, or so? The pidity, or the rancour of their discourse is insufprettiest brass lock---fast, um; that won't do. ferable-'Sdeath! I had rather take the air with Sdeath, you are a beautiful woman; I am sure my grandmother. you are. Prithee, let me see your face. It is your interest, child---the longer you delay, the more I shall expect. Therefore,---[Taking her hand.] my dear, soft, kind, new acquaintance, thus let me take your hand; and, whilst you gently, with the other, let day-light in upon me, let me softly hold you to me, that, with my longing lips, I may receive the warmest, best impression.---[She unmasks.]---Clarinda! Cla. Ha, ha! your servant, cousin RangerHa, ha, ha! Ran. Oh, your humble servant, madam. You had like to have been beholden to your mask, cousin I must brazen it out. [Aside. Cla. Ha, ha, ha! You were not so happy in your disguise, sir. The pretty stagger in your gait, that happy disposition of your wig, the genteel negligence of your whole person, and those pretty flowers of modish gallantry, made it impossible to mistake you, my sweet coz.- -Ha, ha, ha! Ran. Oh, I knew you, too; but I fancied you had taken a particular liking to my person, and had a mind to sink the relation under that little piece of black velvet! and, cgad, you never find me behind hand in a frolic. But, since it is otherwise, my merry, good-humoured cousin, I am as heartily glad to see you in town, as I should be to meet any of my old bottle acquaintance. Cla. And, on my side, I am as happy in meeting your worship, as I should be in a rencounter with e'er a petticoat in Christendom. Ran. And if you have any occasion for a dangling gallant to Vauxhall, Ranelagh, or even the poor neglected Park, you are so unlike the rest of your virtuous sisters of the petticoat, that I will venture myself with you. Cla. Take care what you promise; for who knows but this face, you were pleased to say so many pretty things before you saw it, may raise so many rivals among your kept mistresses, and reps of quality Ran. Hold, hold! a truce with your satire, sweet coz; or, if scandal must be the topic of every virtuous woman's conversation, call for your tea-waiter, and let it be in it's proper element. Come, your tea, your tea! Enter Maid. Cla. With all my heart- -Who's there? Get tea-upon condition that you stay till it comes. Ran. That is according as you behave, madam. Cla. Oh, sir, I am very sensible of the favour. Ran. Nay, you may, I assure you; for there is but one woman of virtue, besides yourself, I would stay with ten minutes (and I have not Ran. I tell you what; the lady I speak of was obliged to me, and the generous girl is ready to own it. Cla. And, pray, when was it you did virtue this considerable service? Ran. But this last night, the devil fetch me! A romantic whim of mine conveyed me into her chamber, where I found her, young and beautiful, alone, at midnight, dressed like a soft Adonis; her lovely hair all loose about her shoulders to. Cla. In boy's clothes! this is worth attending [Aside. Ran. Gad, I no more suspected her being a woman, than I did your being my cater-cousin, Cla. How did you discover it at last? Ran. Why, faith, she very modestly dropt me a hint of it herself. Cla. Herself! If this should be Jacintha! [Aside. Ran. Ay, 'foregad, did she; which I imagined a good sign at midnight-eh, cousin? So I e'en invented a long story of a passion I had for her, though I had never seen her before—you know my old way; and said so many tender things Cla. As you said to me just now. Ran. Pho! quite in another style, I assure you. It was midnight, and I was in a right cue. Cla. Well! And what did she answer to all these protestations? Ran. Why, instead of running into my arms at once, as I expected Cla. To be sure. Ran. 'Gad, like a free-hearted, honest girl, she frankly told me she liked another better than she liked me; that I had something in my face that shewed I was a gentleman; and she would e'en trust herself with me, if I would give her my word I would convey her to her spark. with Cla. Oh, brave! and how did you bear this? Ran. Never. I only hate your sex's vain pretence of having no passions at all. Gad, I loved the good-natured girl for it; took her at her word; stole her out of the window; and this morning made a very honest fellow happy in the possession of her. Cla. And her name is Jacintha? Cla. Your amours are no secrets, sir. You see you might as well have told me all the whole of last night's adventure; for you find I know Ran. All! Why, what do you know? Cla. Nay, nothing; I only know that a gentle- | Why, whilst I was making off with the wench, man's hat cannot be dropt in a lady's cham- Bellamy and he were quarrelling about her; and though Jacintha and I made all the haste we could, we did not get to them before ber Ran. The devil! Cla. But a husband is such an odd, impertinent, awkward creature, that he will be stumbling over it. Ran. Here has been fine work. [Aside.] But how, in the name of wonder, should you know all this? Cla. By being in the same house. Clu. Ay, in the same house, a witness of the confusion you have made. Ran. Frankly's Clarinda, by all that's fortunate! It must be so! [Aside. Cla. And let me tell you, sir, that even the dull, low-spirited diversions you ridicule in us tame creatures, are preferable to the romantic exploits that only wine can raise you to. Ran. Yes, cousin : but I'll be even with you. [Aside. Cla. If you reflect, cousin, you will find a great deal of wit in shocking a lady's modesty, disturbing her quiet, tainting her reputation, and ruining the peace of a whole family. Ran. To be sure. Cla. These are the high-mettled pleasures of you men of spirit, that the insipidity of the virtuous can never arrive at. And can you, in reality, think your Burgundy, and your Bacchus, your Venus, and your Loves, an excuse for all this? Fie, cousin, fie! Ran. No, cousin. Cla. What, dumb! I am glad you have modesty enough left not to go about to excuse yourself. Ran. It is as you say; when we are sober, and reflect but ever so little on the follies we commit, we are ashamed and sorry and yet the very next minute we run again into the same absurdities. Cla. What! moralizing, cousin! ha, ha, ha! Ran. What you know is not half, not a hundredth part of the mischief of my last night's frolie; and yet the very next petticoat I saw this morning, I must follow it, and be damned to me; though, for aught I know, poor Frankly's life may depend upon it. Cla. Whose life, sir? Ran. And here do I stand prating to you now. Cla. Pray, good cousin, explain yourself. Cla. Before what? I'm frightened out of my wits! Ran. Not that Frankly cared three half-pence for the girl. Cla. But there was no mischief done, I hope? Ran. Pho! a slight scratch; nothing at all, as the surgeon said: though he was but a queer looking son of a bitch of a surgeon, neither. Cla. Good God! why, he should have the best that can be found in London. Ran. Ay, indeed, so he should that was what I was going for, when I saw you. [Sits down.] They are all at Jack Meggot's hard by, and you will keep me here? Cla. I keep you here! For Heaven's sake, be gone. Ran. Your tea is a damned while a coming. Cla. No, positively, you shall not stay. Ran. Your commands are absolute, madam. [Going. Cla. Then Frankly is true, and I only am to blame. Ran. [Returns.] But I beg ten thousand pardons, cousin, that I should forgetCla. Forget what! Ran. Forget to salute you. Cla. Pshaw! how can you trifle at such a time as this? Ran. A trifle! wrong not your beauty. Cla. Lord, how teasing you are. There. Ran. [Kisses her.] Poor thing! how uneasy she is. Nay, no ceremony, you shall not stir a step with me. Cla. I do not intend it. This is downright provoking. [Exit RANGER.] Who's there? Enter Landlady. Land. Madam, did your ladyship call? Cla. Does one Mr Meggot live in this neighbourhood? Land. Yes, madam, a fine gentleman, and keeps a noble house, and a world of company. Cla. Very well; I don't want his history. I wonder my servants are not come yet. Land. Lack a-day, madam, they are all below. Cla. Send up one, then, with a card to me. I must know the truth of this immediately. [Exeunt |