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SCENE II.- Another apartment.

death of me, if I have not a box for the new Mrs LOVEMORE at her tea-table.

play. Lord bless you, ma’am, they rantipole it

about this town, with as unconcerned looks, and Mrs Love. This trash of tea! I don't know why I drink so much of it. Heigho !-What like so many goddesses: though every body

as florid outsides, as if they were treated at home keeps Muslin ? Surely never was an unhappy woman treated with such cruel indifference; nay, ago, and their husbands care no more for them,

knows possession has ungoddessed them all long with such open, such undisguised insolence of

no, by jingo, no more than they care for their gallantry.

husbands! Enter MUSLIN.

Mrs Love. At what a rate you run on! Well, Muslin, have you seen his prime mini Mus. It is enough to make a body run on. If ster?

every body thought like

you, ma’amMus. Yes, ma'am, I have seen Mr William. He Mrs Love. If every body loved like me! says his master is going out, according to the old Mus. A brass thimble for love, if it is not retrade, and he does not expect to see him again turned by love. What the deuce is here to do? till to-morrow morning. Mr Lovemore is now in Love for love is something: but to love alone, the study. Sir Brilliant Fashion is with him: I where's the good of that? Shall I go and fix my heard them, as I passed by the door, laughing as heart upon a man, who shall despise me for that loud as two actors in a comedy.

very reason ? And ay, says he, ' Poor fool! I see Mrs Love. About some precious mischief, I'll she adores me. The woman is well enough, he sword, and all at my cost. Heigho!

only she has one inconvenient circumstance Mus. Dear Ma'am, why chagrin yourself • about her; I am married to her, and marriage about a vile man, that is not worth -no, as I is the devil ! hope for mercy, not worth a single sigh!

Mrs Love. Will you have done? Mrs Love. What can I do, Muslin?

Mus. I have not half done, ma'am. And when Mus. Do, ma'anı !-If I was as you, I'd do for the vile man goes a rogueiny, he smiles impuhim. If I could not cure my grief, I'd find some dently in your face, and I am going to the chocomfort ; that's what I would.

'colate-house, my dear; amuse yourself in the Mrs Love. Comfort? alas ! there is none for mean time, my love. Fy upon them! I know

them all. Give me a husband that will enlarge Mus. And whose fault, then? Would any body the circle of my innocent pleasures : but a husbut you—It provokes me to think of it-Would band now-a-days is no such thing. A husband

you-young, handsome, with wit, graces, now is pothing but a scare-crow, to shew you the talents-would any body, with so many accom- fruit, but touch it if you dare. The devil's in plishments, sit at home here, as melancholy as a them! the Lord forgive me for sweariny! A buspoor servant out of place ?-And all for what? | band is a mere bugbear, a snap-dragon, a mon For a husband! And such a husband! What do ster; that is to say, it one makes him so, then he you think the world will say of you, ma'am? is a monster indeed; and if one do not make him

Mrs Love. I care not what they say; I am so, then be behaves like a monster; and of the tired of the world, and the world may be tired of two evils, by my troth—But here, ma'am, here me, if it will. My troubles are to myself only, comes one who can tell you all about it. Here and I must endeavour to hear them. Who knows comes sir Brilliant : ask his advice, ma'am. what patience may do? If Mr Lovemore has any Mrs Love. Ilis advice? Ask advice of the feeling left, my conduct and his own heart may man, who has estranged Mr Lovemore's atiecone day incline him to do me justice.

tions from me? Mus. But, dear ma'am, that's waiting for dead Mus. Well, I protest and vow, I think sir Brilmen's shoes. Incline him to do you justice !- liant a very pretty gentleman. He is the very What signifies expecting and expecting? Give me pink of the fashion. He dresses fashionably, a bird in the hand. If all the women in London, lives fashionably, wins your money fashionably

, who happen to be in your case, were to sit down loses his own fashionably, and does every thing and die of the spleen, what would become of the fashionably; and then he looks so lively, and so public places i They might turn Vauxhall to a much to say, and so never at a loss !—But here hop-garden ; make a brewhouse of Ranelagh, he comes. aud let both the play-houses to a methodistpreacher. We should not have the racketing we

Enter Sir BRILLIANT. have now. John, let the horses be put to--- Sir Bril. Mrs Lovemore, my dear madam, al. John, go to my lady Trumpabout, and invite her ways in a vis-a-vis party with your suivante?to a small party of twenty or thirty card-tables. Attord me your pardon, if I say this does a little John, run to my lady Catgut, and let her know wear the appearance of being out of humour I'll wait upon her ladyship to the opera. John, with the world. run, as fast as ever you can, with my compli Ars Love. Far from it, sir Brilliant. We ments to Mr Varney, and tell him, it will be the were engaged in your panegyric.

any but

me, sir?

liant.

Sir Bril. My panegyric? Then am I come Sir Bril. My late project ! most apropos to give the portrait a few finishing Mrs Love. Your late project, sir. Not contouches. Mr Lovemore, as soon as he is dressed, tent with leading Mr Lovemore into a thousand will wait upon you: in the mean time, I can help scenes of dissipation, you have introduced him you to some anecdotes, which will enable you to lately to your Mrs Bellmour. You understand colour your canvas a little bigher.

Mrs Love. Among those anecdotes, I hope Sir Bril. Madam, he does not so much as you will not omit the bright exploit of seducing know the widow Bellmour. Sir Loveinore from all domestic happiness? Mrs Love. Nay, sir Brilliant, have a care :

(She makes a sign to Muslin to go. justify it, if you can, or give it a turn of wit.Sir Bril. I, madam?- Let me perish, if ever There is no occasion to hazard yourself too far.

Mrs Love. Oh! sir, I can make my observa Sir Bril. Falsehood I disdain, madam, and I, tions.

sir Brilliant Fashion, declare that Mr Lovemore Sir Bril. May fortune eternally forsake me, is not acquainted with the widow Bellmour.and beauty frown on me, if I am conscious of any And if he was, what then? Do you know the plot upon earth!

lady? Jrs Love. Don't assert too strongly, sir Bril Mrs Love. I know her, sir? A person of that

character? Sir Bril. May I never throw a winning cast Sir Bril. Oh ! I see you don't know her; but Mrs Love. It is in vain to deny it, sir. I will let you into her history. Pray, be seated. Sir Bril. May I lose the next sweepstakes, if You sball know her whole history, and then I have ever, in thought, word, or deed, been ac- judge for yourself. The widow Bellmour, macessary to his infidelity! I alienate the affections dainof Mr Lovemore! Consider, madam, how would Love. Within.]-William, are the horses put this tell in Westminster Hall? Sir Brilliant Fa- to? shion, what say you? guilty of this indictment, or Sir Bril. We are interrupted. not guilty? Not guilty, !:oss. Thus issue is joined. You enter the court : but, my dear madam,

Enter LOVEMORE, veil those graces that adorn your person: abate Love. Very well: let the carriage be brought the fire of those charms : so much beauty will round directly. How do you do, my dear? Sir corrupt the judges : give me a fair trial. Brilliant, 1 beg your pardon. My love, you don't Mrs Love. And thus you think to laugh it answer me: how do you do this morning?

(With an air of cold civility. Sir Bril. Nay, hear me out. You appear in Mirs Love. A little indisposed in mind: but court : you charge the whole upon me, without a indisposition of the mind is of no consequence : syllable as to the how, when, and where : no nobody pities it. proof positive; the prosecution ends, and I begin Love. I beg you pardon, Mrs Lovemore. Inmy defence.

disposition of the mind-—Sir Brilliant, that's a Dirs Lore. And, by playing these false colours, mighty pretty ring on your finger. you think I am to be amused?

Sir Bril. A bauble : will you look at it? Sir Bril. Nay, Mrs Lovemore, I am now upon

[Gives the ring my defence. Only hear.—You will please to con Mrs Love. Though I have but few obligations sider, gentlemen of the jury, that Mr Lovemore to sir Brilliant, I suppose I am to ascribe to him is not a minor, nor I his guardian. He loves the favour of this visit, Mr Lovemore? Latty, pleasure, and enjoyinent: is it my fault? Love. (Looking at the ring, und laughing.), He is possessed of talents, and a taste for plea- Now, there you wrong me. Your inquiries about sure, which he knows how to gratify: can I re- my health have been very obliging this morning, strain him? Ile knows the world, makes the most and I came to return the compliment before I of life, and plucks the fruit that grows around got out. It is set very neatly. him : am I to blame? This is the whole affair.

(Gives back the ring llow say you, gentlemen of the jury ?-Not Mrs Love. Are you going out, sir? guilty. There, you see how it is. I have cleared Lote. A matter of business-How I do hae myself.

business ! But business—[ Eramining his ruffles.] Mrs Love. Brisk, lively, and like yourself, sir |-business must be done. Pray, is there any Brilliant! But if you can imagine this bantering news? Any news, my dear?

Mrs Love. It would be news to me, sir, if you Sir Bril. Acquitted by my country, madam; would be kind enough to let me know whether I

may expect the favour of your company at dinMrs Love. After the very edifying counsel ner to-day? which you give to Mr Loveniore, this loose strain Love. It would be impertinent in me to anis not in the least surprising. And, sir, your late swer such a question; for I can give no direct project

answer to it. I am the slave of events; just as

awav.

way

fairly acquitted.

things happen; perhaps I may; perhaps not. It is grown habitual to him : he will drive to But don't let me be of any inconvenience to you. your Mrs Bellmour, I suppose. Is it material where a body eats? Have you Sir Bril

. Apropos; that brings us back to the heard what happened to me?

little bistory I was going to give you of that lady. [Aside to Sir BRILLIANT. What is your charge against her? That she is Sir Bril. When, and where?

amiable Granted. Young, gay, rich, handsome, Love. A word in your ear—with your permis- with enchanting talents, it is no wonder all the sion, madam?

pretty fellows are on their knees to her. Her Mrs Love. That cold, contemptuous civility, manner so entertaining ! That quickness of tranMr Lovemore

sition from one thing to another! That round of Love. Po! Prithee, now, how can you ? that variety! and every new attitude does so become is very peevish, and very ill-natured.—[Turning her; and she has such a feeling heart, and, with to Sir BRILLIANT.)- I lost every thing I played an air of giddiness, so nice a conduct ! for, after you went. The foreigner and he un Mrs Love. Mighty well, sir : she is a very vesderstand one another. I beg your pardon, Mrs tal. Finish your portrait. A vestal, from your Loyemore: it was only about an affair at the school of painting, must be a curiosity — But opera.

bow comes it, sir, if she is this wonder, that your Mrs Love. The opera, or any thing, is more honourable proposals are at an end there? agreeable than my company.

Sir Bril. Compulsion, madam: it is not voLove. Now, there again you wrong me.-[TO luntary. My lord Etheridge is the happy man. Sır BRILLIANT.]-We dine at the St Alban's.- I thought he was out of the kingdom; but his How can you, Mrs Lovemore? I make it a point lordship is with her every evening. I can scarce not to incommode you. You possibly may have gain admittance; and so all that remains for me, some private party; and it would he unpolite in is to do justice to the lady, and console myself in me to obstruct your schemes of pleasure. Would the best way I can, for the insufficiency of my not it, sir Brilliant ?

pretensions. Sir Bril. Oh! Gothic to the last degree !

Mrs Love. Am I to believe all this? Love. Very true ; vulgar and mechanic! Sir Bril. May the first woman I pay my

ad[Both stand laughing dresses to, strike me to the centre with a superMrs Love. Go on; make sport for yourselves, cilious eye-brow, if every syllable is not minutely gentlemen.

true! So that, you see, I am not the cause of Love. Ho, ho, ho! I am sore with laughing.- your inquietude. There is not in the world a If you, madam, have arranged an agreeable par person, who more earnestly aspires to prove ty, for me to be present, it would look as if we tender esteem he bears you. I have long panted lived together like sir Bashful Constant and his for an opportunity--by all that's soft, she listens lady; who are always, like two game-cocks, rea to me =[Aside.)-I have long panted, madam, dy armed to goad and spur one another. Hey! for a tender moment like thisSir Brilliant ?

Mrs Love. [Looking gravely at him.)—Sir! Sir Bril. Oh, the very thing : or, like sir The Sir Bril. I have panted with all the ardour, odore Traffic, at Tunbridge, taking liis wife un which charms, like yours, must kindle in every der the arm in the public rooms, and • Come heart• along home, I tell you.'

Mrs Love. (Walks away.)-This liberty, sirLove. Exactly so. [Both continue laughing.] Sir Bril. Consider, madam: we have both --Odds my life! I shall be beyond my time. cause of discontent; both disappointed; both (Looks at his watch.]— Any commands into the crossed in love; and the least we can do is both city, my dear?

to join, and sweeten each other's cares. Mrs Love. Commands! No, sir, I have no Mrs Love. And your friend, sir, who has just commands.

left

youLove. I have an appointment at my banker's, Sir Bril. He, madam, for a long time—I have sir Brilliant. You know old Discount?

seen it, with vexation seen it-yes, he has long Sir Bril. He that was in parliament, and had | been false to honour, love, and you. the large contract ?

Mrs Love. Sir Brilliant, I have done. You Love. The same: Entire Butt, I think, was take my wrongs too much to heart, sir. the name of his borough. Can I sct you down?

[Rings a bell. Sir Bril. No; my carriage waits. I shall rat Sir Bril. Those eyes, that tell us what the sun tle half the town over, presently.

is made of, those hills of driven snow ! Love. As you will. Sir Brilliant will entertain Mrs Love. Will nobody answer there? you, madam. Au revoir, my love. Sir Brilliant, yours. Who waits there?

[Erit singing.

Enter MUSLIN. Sir Bril. Bon voyage. You see, madam, that Sir Bril. Madam, I desist: when you are in I don't deprive you of his company.

better humour, recollect what I have said. Your Ars Love. Your influence is now unnecessary. adorer takes his leave. Sir Brilliant, mind your

the

hits

, and her strait-laced virtue will surrender at, know it from William ; I'll be hanged in my own last. Madam

garters, if he does not ! [Bows respectfully. Erit. Mrs Love. I know not what to do. Let my Mus. As I live and breathe, madam, if I was chair be got ready. a you, I would not fluster myself about it. Mus. Your chair, madam! Are you going Urs Love. About what !

out! Mus. What signifies mincing the matter? I Mrs Love. Let me hear no more questions : heard it all.

do as I order you.

[Erit. Mrs Love. You did ? Did you?

Mus. Which way is the wind now? No mat

(Looks angrily. ter; she does not know what she'd be at. If she Mus. Madam?

would but take my advice--go abroad, visit every Mrs Love. Impertinence !-(Walks about.] - where, see the world, throw open her doors, give Oh, Mr Loremore! To make his character pub- balls, assemblies, concerts; sing, dance, dress, Lic, and render him the topic of every tea-table spend all her money, run in debt, ruin her husthroughout this town! I must avoid that. band; there would be some sense in that: the

Mus. What the deuce is here to do? An un man would stay at home, then, to quarrel with mannerly thing, for to go for to buff me in this her. She would have enough of his company.-manner!

{Aside. But no; mope, mope for ever; heigho! tease, Mrs Love. That would only widen the breach; tease; Muslin, step to William; where's his masand, instead of neglect, might call forth resent-ter? When did he come home? How long has he meni

, and settle, at last, into a fixed aversion; been up? A fine life, truly! I love to be in the lawyers, parting, and separate maintenance !- fashion, for my part. Bless me, I had like to What must be done?

bave forgot! Mrs Marmalet comes to my route Mus. What is she thinking of now? A sulky to-night. She might as well stay away: she is thing, not to be more familiar with such a friend nothing but mere lumber. The formal thing as I am. Did you speak to me, madam? won't play higher than shilling whist. How the

Mrs Love. It may succeed; suppose I try it? devil does she think I can make a shilling party Muslin?

for her? There is no such a thing now-a-days; Jus. Madam?

[Running to her. nobody plays shilling whist now, unless I was to Mrs Lore. You heard sir Brilliant say that invite the trade's-people; but I shan't let myself Ulr Lovemore is not acquainted with the widow ? | down for Madam Marinalet, that I promise her. Jus. Lard, ma he's as full of tricks as a

[Erit. French milliner. I know he does visit there: I

ACT II.

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SCENE I.-An apartment at Sır BASIFUL ter. Her grace keeps Wednesdays at IIurricane CONSTANTS.

• House for the rest of the winter.'-- Make me

thankful, here's a card from a duchess! What Enter Sir BASIFUL.

have you there? Sir Bash. Did not I hear a rap at the door? Side. A parcel of cards, that have been left Yes, yes, I did; I am right. The carriage is just here this morning. now driving away. Who answers there? Side Sir Bush. All these in one morning ?-[Looks board ! step hither, Sideboard. I must know at them.)--Why, I may as well keep an inn; who it is: my wife keeps the best company in may as well keep the coach and horses in PiccaEngland. Hold, I must be wary. Servants love dilly.—[Reads fast.]—Lady Riot Mrs Allnight to pry into their masters' secrets.

-the duchess of Carmine-look ye there, ano

ther duchess !-Lady Basset-lord PleurisieEnter SIDEBOARD.

the countess of Ratitie-sir Richard Lungs-lord Sir Bash. Whose carriage was that at the Laudannm-sir Charles Valerian-lady lectick door?

-lady Mary Gabbie-I cannot bear all this, Side. The duchess of Hurricane, your honour. Sideboard—[ Aside, and smiling.)- I cannot bear

Sir Bash. The duchess of Hurricane ?— IValks the pleasure of it: all people of tip-top condiside, and smiles)-A woman of great rank! |tion to visit my

wife! What did she want? Side. She has left this card for my lacy.

Enter FURNISH, Sir Bash. A card? Let me see it.—[ Reads.] Sir Bash. What's the matter, Furnish? • The duchess of Hurricane presents compliments Fur. The matter, sir ? Nothing's the matter.

to lady Constant. She has left the hounds and Sir Bash. What are you about? Where are ' foxes, and the brutes that gallup after them, to you going? What have you to do now? • their own dear society for the rest of the win Fur. Only to tell the chairmen they must take

Black George with his flambeau with them this, bad I do in parliament? My country! What's evening, and carry the chair to pay visits for my my country to me? The debts of the nation, lady.

and your gaming debts, are nothing to me. I Sir Bash. An empty chair to pay visits ! what must help to pay both, must l? I can vote against polite ways people of fashion have got of being taxes, and can advertise in the gazette to secure intimate with each other !-[Aside.] - Absurd as me from your extravagance. I have not lived in it is, I am glad to see my wife keep pace with the Temple for nothing. the best of them. I laugh at it, and yet like it. Fur. He slept there, and calls it studying the 'Zounds! I shall be found out by my servants. | law. I tell you, Sideboard, and you, Mrs Busy Body, Sir Bash. Hold you your tongue, Mrs Pert; that your mistress leads a life of noise and hur-leave the room. Go both about your business. ry, and cards and dice, and vanity and nonsense,

[Ereunt Furnish and SIDEBOARD. and I am resolved to bear it no longer. Don't I [Aside.] I have kept it up before my servants. hear her coming ?

(Looks at Lady Constant.] She is a fine woFur. My lady is coming, sir.

man, after all! Sir Bash. [ Aside, and smiling.] She looks Lady Con. Is there never to be an end of this charıningly:-Now, I'll teil her roundly a piece usage, sir? Am I to be for ever made unhappy of my mind. You shall see who commands in by your humours? this house.

Sir Bash. Humours ! good sense and sound

judgment, in the tine lady's dictionary, are to be Enter LADY CONSTANT.

called humours ?

Lady Con. And your humours are now grown Sir Bash. [Steals a look.] I could almost give insupportable. up the point when I look at her.—So, madam, I Sir Bush. .Your profusion is insupportable. At have had my house full of duns again to-day? the rate you go on, how am I to find money for

Lady Con. Obliging creatures, to call so often. my next election ?--If you would but talk this What did they want?

inatter over coolly-She talks like an angel, and Sir Bash. Want !-what should they want but I wish I could say—[Aside.)—the same of mymoney?

self. -What will the world think ?-Only conLady Con. And you paid them, I suppose ? mand your temper--what will they think, if I am

Sir Bash. You suppose ! —'Sdeath, madam, seen to encourage your way of life? what do you take me for?

Lady Con. Amuse yourself that way, sir.Lady Con. I took you for a husband : my bro- Avoid one error, and 'run into the opposite exther prescribed you. But his prescription has treme. done me no good.

Sir Bash. [Aside.] There; a translation from Sir Bash. Nor me either: I have had a bitter Horace! Dum vitant stulti vitia-She is a nopill of it.

table woman! Lady Con. But the pill was gilded for you. Lady Con. Let me tell you, there is not in life My fortune, I take it, has paid off the old family a more ridiculous sight, than the person who mortgage on your estate.

guards, with imaginary wisdom, against one giant Sir Bash. And, at the rate you go on, a new vice, and leaves himself open to a million of abmortgage will swallow up my estate.- I see you surdities. are an ungrateful woman.

Sir Bash. [Aside.] I am nothing to her in arLady Con. That is, as you keep the account. gument-she has a tongue that can reason me Sir Bush. And iny accounts will shew it. Day out of my senses.— I could almost find it in my after day, nothing but extravagance to gratify heart to tell her the whole truth.—You know, my your vanity! Did not I go into parliament to lady Constant, that when you want any thing in please you? Did not I go down to the borough of reasonSmoke-and-Sot, and get drunk there for a whole Lady Con. Is it unreasonable to live with demouth together? Did not I get mobbed at the cency? Is it unreasonable to keep the company George and Vulture? and pelted and horse-whip- my rank and education have entitled me to? Is ped the day before the election? And was not I it unreasonable to conform to the modes of life, obliged to steal out of the town in a rabbit-cart? | when your fortune can so well afford it? And all this to be somebody, as you call it ! Did Sir Besh. [Aside.] She is a very reasonable not I stand up in the House to make a speech, to woman; and I wish I had but half her sense shew what ani orator you had married? And did You know I am good-natured in the main, and not I expose myself? Did I know whether I if a sum of money within a moderate compass-If stood upon my head or my heels for half an hour a brace of hundreds—[ Aside.] why should not I together? And did not a great man from the make it three?-I know that you have contractTreasury-hench tell me never to speak again? ed habits of life, and [ In a softened tone.) habit,

Lady Con. And why not take bis advice? I know, is not easily conquered : and if three Sir Bash. What, in the name of common sense, [Smiling.] hundred pounds will prevent disputes,

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