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your lordship, whether nature and the Bon Ton (as you call it) are so different, that we must give up one, in order to obtain the other?

and your brother, but tell me the news. Do you know any thing of my father?

Lord Trink. Your father, madam, is now in Lord Trink. Totally opposite, madam. The town. This fellow, you must know, is now groom chief aim of the Bon Ton is to render persons of to sir Harry Beagle, your sweet rural swain, and family different from the vulgar, for whom, in- informed me, that his master and your father deed, nature serves very well. For this reason, were running all over the town in quest of you; it has, at various times, been ungenteel to see, to and that he himself had orders to enquire after hear, to walk, to be in good health, and to have you; for which reason, I suppose, he came to twenty other horrible perfections of nature. Na- the riding-house stables to look after it, thinking ture, indeed, may do very well sometimes. It made it, to be sure, a very likely place to meet you.you, for instance, and it then made somethingYour father, perhaps, is gone to seek you at the very lovely; and if you would suffer us of quali-Tower, or Westminster-Abbey, which is all the ty to give you the Ton, you would be absolutely idea he has of London; and your faithful lover divine: but now-me- -madam- -me is probably cheapening a hunter, and drinking nature never made such a thing as me. strong beer at the Horse and Jockey in SmithHar. Why, indeed, I think your lordship has very few obligations to her.

Lord Trink. Then, you really think it's all my own? I declare now that is a mighty genteel compliment. Nay, if you begin to flatter already, you improve apace. 'Pon honour, lady Freelove, I believe we shall make something of her at last.

Lady Free. No doubt on't. It is in your lordship's power to make her a complete woman of fashion at once.

Lord Trink. Hum! Why, ay

Har. Your lordship must excuse me. I am of a very tasteless disposition. I shall never bear to be carried out of nature.

field.

of!

Lady Free. The whole set admirably disposed

Har. Did not your lordship inform him where I was?

Lord Trink. Not I, 'pon honour, madam :— that I left to their own ingenuity to discover. Lady Free. And, pray, my lord, where, in this town, have this polite company bestowed themselves?

Lord Trink. They lodge, madam, of all places in the world, at the Bull and Gate Inn, in Holborn.

Lady Free. Ha, ha, ha! The Bull and Gate! Incomparable! What, have they brought any

Lord Trink. Very well, lady Freelove! very well, indeed! There they are, like so many gra│ziers; and there, it seems, they have learned that this lady is certainly in London.

Lady Free. You are out of nature, now, Har-hay or cattle to town? riot! I am sure no woman but yourself ever objected to being carried among persons of quality. Would you believe it, my lord? here has she been a whole week in town, and would never suffer me to introduce her to a rout, an assembly, a concert, or even to court, or to the opera; nay, would hardly so much as mix with a living soul that has visited me.

Lord Trink. No wonder, madam, you do not adopt the manners of persons of fashion, when you will not even honour them with your company. Were you to make one in our little coteries, we should soon make you sick of the boors and bumpkins of the horrid country. By the bye, I met a monster at the riding-house this morning, who gave me some intelligence, that will surprize you, concerning your family?

Har. What intelligence?

Lady Free. Who was this monster, as your lordship calls him? A curiosity, I dare say.

Lord Trink. This monster, madam, was formerly my head groom, and had the care of all my running-horses; but, growing most abominably surly and extravagant, as you know all these fellows do, I turned him off; and, ever since, iny brother, Slouch Trinket, has had the care of my stud, rides all my principal matches himself and

Har. Dear my lord, don't talk of your groom,

Har. Do, dear madain, send a card directly to my father, informing him where I am, and that your ladyship would be glad to see him here. For my part, I dare not venture into his presence till you have, in some measure, pacified him; but, for Heaven's sake, desire him not to bring that wretched fellow along with him.

Lord Trink. Wretched fellow! Oho! Courage, Milor Trinket! [Aside. Lady Free. I'll send immediately. Who's there?

Enter Servant.

Ser. [Apart to LADY FREELOVE.] Sir Harry Beagle is below, madam.

Lady Free. [Apart to Servant.] I am not at home. Have they let him in? Ser. Yes, madam.

Lady Free. How abominably unlucky this is! Well, then, shew him into my dressing-room. I will come to him there. [Exit Servant.

Lord Trink. Lady Freelove! No engagement, I hope. We won't part with you, 'pon honour.

Lady Free. The worst engagement in the world. A pair of musty old prudes! Lady Formal and Miss Prate.

Lord Trink. O the beldams! As nauseous as | scoundrel, and I'll whip you through the lungs, ipecacuanha, 'pon honour.

Lady Free. Lud! lud! what shall I do with them? Why do these foolish women come troubling me now? I must wait on them in the dressing-room, and you must excuse the card, Harriot, till they are gone. I'll dispatch them as soon as I can; but Heaven knows when I shall get rid of them, for they are both everlasting gossips; though the words come from her ladyship one by one, like drops from a still, while the other tiresome woman overwhelms us with a flood of impertinence. Harriot, you'll entertain his lordship till I return. [Erit.

Lord Trink. Gone! 'Egad, my affairs here begin to grow very critical-the father in town! lover in town! Surrounded by enemies! What shall I do?-[To HARRIOT.]-I have nothing fit for it but a coup de main. 'Pon honour, I am not sorry for the coming in of these old tabbies, and am much obliged to her ladyship for leaving us such an agreeable téte-a-téte.

Har. Your lordship will find me extremely bad company;

Lord Trink. Not in the least, my dear! we'll entertain ourselves one way or other, I'll warrant you. 'Egad, I think it a mighty good opportunity to establish a better acquaintance with you.

Har. I don't understand you.

Lord Trink. No? Why, then, I'll speak plain—[Pausing, and looking her full in the face.] You are an amazing fine creature, 'pon honour.

er.

Har. If this be your lordship's polite conversation, I shall leave you to amuse yourself in soliloquy.

[Going.

Lord Trink. No, no, no, madam; that must not be.-[Stopping her.]-This place, my passion, the opportunity, all conspire

Har. How, sir! You don't intend to do me any violence?

Lord Trink. 'Pon honour, madam, it will be doing great violence to myself, if I do not. You

must excuse me.

[Struggling with her. Har. Help! Help! Murder! Help! Lord Trink. Your yelping will signify nothing; nobody will come. [Struggling. Har. For Heaven's sake! Sir! My lord! [Noise within.

Lord Trink. Pox on't! what noise? Then I must be quick. [Still struggling. Har. Help! Murder! Help! Help!

Enter CHARLES hastily.

Cha. What do I hear? My Harriot's voice calling for help? Ha!-[Seeing them.]—Is it possible? Turn, ruffian! I'll find you employment.

[Drawing. Lord Trink. You are a most impertinent

'pon honour.

[They fight, HARRIOT runs out, screaming help, &c.

Enter LADY FREELOVE, SIR HArry Beagle, and Servants.

Lady Free. How's this? Swords drawn in my house-Part them-[They are parted.]—This is the most impudent thing!

Lord Trink. Well, rascal, I shall find a time; I know you, sir!

Cha. The sooner the better; I know your lordship, too.

Sir Har. I'faith, madam,-[To LADY FREE.] we had like to have been in at the death.

Lady Free. What is all this? Pray, sir, what is the meaning of your coming hither to raise this disturbance? Do you take my house for a brothel? [TO CHA. Cha. Not I, indeed, madam! but I believe his lordship does.

Lord Trink. Impudent scoundrel!

Lady Free. Your conversation, sir, is as insolent as your behaviour. Who are you? What brought you here?

Cha. I am one, madam, always ready to draw my sword in defence of innocence in distress, and more especially in the cause of that lady I delivered from his lordship's fury; in search of whom I troubled your ladyship's house.

Lady Free. Her lover, I suppose, or what? Cha. At your ladyship's service; though not quite so violent in my passion as his lordship there.

Lord Trink. Impertinent rascal!

Lady Free. You shall be made to repent of this insolence.

me.

Lord Trink. Your ladyship may leave that to

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her down, and is the little puss stole away at last?

Lady Free. Sir, if you will walk in-[To SIR HAR.with his lordship and me, perhaps you may hear some tidings of her; though it is most probable she may be gone to her father. I don't know any other friend she has in town. Cha. I am heartily glad she is gone. safer any where than in this house.

She is

Lady Free. Mighty well, sir! My lord! Sir Harry! I attend you.

Lord Trink. You shall hear from me, sir!

[TO CHA. Cha. Very well, my lord. Sir Har. Stole away! Pox on't-stole away. [Exeunt SIR HAR. and LORD TRINK. Lady Free. Before I follow the company, give me leave to tell you, sir, that your behaviour here has been so extraordinary

Cha. My treatment here, madam, has indeed been very extraordinary.

Lady Free. Indeed! Well-no matter-permit me to acquaint you, sir, that there lies your way out, and that the greatest favour you can do me, is to leave the house immediately.

Cha. That your ladyship may depend on.Since you have put Miss Russet to flight, you may be sure of not being troubled with my company. I'll after her immediately—I cannot rest till I know what is become of her.

Lady Free. If she has any regard for her reputation, she'll never put herself into such hands as

yours.

Cha. O, madam, there can be no doubt of her regard for that, by her leaving your ladyship. Lady Free. Leave my house! Cha. Directly. A charming house! And a charming lady of the house, too! Ha, ha, ha! Lady Free. Vulgar fellow! Cha. Fine lady!

[Exeunt severally.

ACT III.

SCENE I.-LADY FREELOVE's house. Enter LADY FREELOVE and LORD TRINKET. Jord Trink. DOUCEMENT, doucement, my dear lady Freelove! Excuse me! I meant no harm, 'pon honour.

Lady Free. Indeed, indeed, my lord Trinket, this is absolutely intolerable. What, to offer rudeness to a young lady in my house! What will the world say of it?

Lord Trink. Just what the world pleases. It does not signify a doit what they say. However, I ask pardon; but, 'egad, I thought it was the best way.

Lady Free. For shame, for shame, my lord! I am quite burt at your want of discretion.Leave the whole conduct of this affair to me, or I'll have done with it at once. How strangely you have acted! There, I went out of the way on purpose to serve you, by keeping off that looby sir Harry Beagle, and preventing him or her father from seeing the girl, till we had some chance of managing her ourselves. And then you chose to make a disturbance, and spoiled all.

Lord Trink. Devil take sir Harry and t'other Scoundrel, too! That they should come driving hither just at so critical an instant! And that the wild little thing should take wing, and fly away the lord knows whither!

Lady Free. Ay-And there again you was indiscreet past redemption. To let her know, that her father was in town, and where he was to be found, too! For there I am confident she must be gone, as she is not acquainted with one creature in London.

Lord Trink. Why a father is, in these cases, the pisaller I must confess. 'Pon honour, lady

Freelove, I can scarce believe this obstinate girl a relation of yours. Such narrow notions! I'll swear, there is less trouble in getting ten women of the premiere volée, than in conquering the scruples of a silly girl in that style of life.

Lady Free. Come, come, my lord, a truce with your reflections on my niece! Let us consider what is best to be done.

Lord Trink. E'en just what your ladyship thinks proper-For my part, I am entirely dérangée.

Lady Free. Will you submit to be governed by me, then?

Lord Trink. I'll be all obedienceladyship's slave, 'pon honour.

-your

Lady Free. Why, then, as this is rather an ugly affair in regard to me, as well as your lordship, and may make some noise, I think it absolutely necessary, merely to save appearances, that you should wait on her father, palliate matters as well as you can, and make a formal repetition of your proposal of marriage.

Lord Trink. Your ladyship is perfectly in the right—You are quite au fait of the affair. It shall be done immediately, and then your reputation will be safe, and my conduct justified to all the world-But, should the old rustic con- ́ tinue as stubborn as his daughter, your ladyship, I hope, has no objections to my being a little rusée, for I must have her, 'pon honour.

Lady Free. Not in the least.

Lord Trink. Or, if a good opportunity should offer, and the girl should be still untractable

Lady Free. Do what you will, I wash my hands of it. She's out of my care now, you know- -But you must beware your rivals. One, you know, is in the house with her, and the other

will lose no opportunity of getting to her.

Lord Trink. As to the fighting gentleman, I shall cut out work for him in his own way. I'll send him a petit billet to-morrow morning, and then there can be no great difficulty in outwitting her bumpkin father, and the baronet.

Enter a Servant.

Ser. Captain O'Cutter to wait on your ladyship.

Lady Free. O the hideous fellow! The Irish sailor-man, for whom I prevailed on your lordship to get the post of regulating captain. I suppose he is come to load me with his odious thanks. I won't be troubled with him now.

ment, for I think the next step to your present post, is commonly a ship.

O'Cut. The sooner the better, my lord! Honest Terence O'Cutter shall never flinch, I warrant you; and has had as much sea-sarvice as any man in the navy.

Lord Trink. You may depend on my good offices, captain!-But, in the mean time, it is in your power to do me a favour.

O'Cut. A favour! my lord! your lordship does me honour. I would go round the world, from one end to the other, by day or by night, to sarve your lordship, or my good lady here.

Lord Trink. Dear madam, the luckiest thought in nature! [Apart to LADY FREE.]-The favour I have to ask of you, captain, need not carry He you so far out of your way. The whole affair is, that there are a couple of impudent fellows at an inn in Holborn, who have affronted me, and you would oblige me infinitely, by pressing them into his Majesty's service.

Lord Trink. Let him in, by all means. is the best creature to laugh at in nature. He is a perfect sea-monster, and always looks and talks as if he was upon deck. Besides, a thought strikes me--He may be of use. Lady Free. Well-send the creature up then. [Exit Servant.

But what fine thought is this!

Lord Trink. A coup de maitre, 'pon honour ! I intend--but hush! Here the porpus comes.

Enter CAPTAIN O'CUTTER.

Lady Free. Captain, your humble servant! I am very glad to see you.

O'Cut. I am much oblaged to you, my lady! Upon my conscience, the wind favours me at all points. I had no sooner got under way to tank your ladyship, but I have borne down upon my noble friend his lordship, too. I hope your lordship's well?

Lord Trink. Very well, I thank you, captain! -But you seem to be hurt in the service; what is the meaning of that patch over your right eye? O'Cut. Some advanced wages from my new post, my lord! This pressing is hot work, though it entitles us to smart-money.

Lady Free. And pray, in what perilous adventure did you get that scar, captain?

O'Cut. Quite out of my element, indeed, my lady! I got it in an engagement by land. A day or two I spied three stout fellows, belonging to a merchantman. They made down Wapping. I immediately gave my lads the signal to chase, and we bore down right upon them. They tacked, and lay to. We gave them a thundering broadside, which they resaved like men; and one of them made use of small arms, which carried off the weathermost corner of Ned Gage's hat; so, I immediately stood in with him, and raked him, but resaved a wound on my starboard eye, from the stock of the pistol. However, we took them all, and they now lie under the hatches, with fifty more, a-board a tender off the Tower.

Lord Trink. Well done, noble captain!But, however, you will soon have better employ

Lady Free. Now, I understand you-Ad

mirable!

[Apart to L. TRINK. O'Cut. With all my heart, my lord, and tank you too, fait. But, by the by, I hope they are not housekeepers, or freemen of the city. There's the devil. ay in meddling with them. They boder one about liberty and property, and stuff. It was but t'other day that Jack Trowser was carried before my lord Mayor, and lost above a twelvemonth's pay, for nothing at all, at all.

Lord Trink. I'll take care you shall be brought into no trouble. These fellows were formerly my grooms. If you'll call on me in the morning, I'll go with you to the place.

O'Cut. I'll be with your lordship, and bring with me four or five as pretty boys as you'll wish to clap your two lucking eyes upon of a summer's day.

Lord Trink. I am much obliged to you. But, captain, I have another little favour to beg of you.

O'Cut. Upon my shoul, and I'll do it!
Lord Trink. What, before you know it?
O'Cut. Fore and aft, my lord!

Lord Trink. A gentleman has offended me in a point of honour

O'Cut. Cut his troat.

Lord Trink. Will you carry him a letter from me?

O'Cut. Indeed, and I will: and I'll take you in tow, too, and you, shall engage him yard-arm and yard-arm.

Lord Trink. Why, then, captain, you'll come a little earlier to-morrow morning than you proposed, that you may attend him with my billet, before you proceed on the other affair.

O'Cut. Never fear it, my lord!-Your sarvant!-My ladyship, your humble sarvant! Lady Free. Captain, yours! Pray give my

service to my friend Mrs O'Cutter. How does she do?

O'Cut. I tank your ladyship's axing-The dear creature is purely tight and well.

Lord Trink. How many children have you, captain?

O'Cut. Four, and please your lordship, and another upon the stocks.

Lord Trink. When it is launched, I hope to be at the christening. I'll stand godfather, captain!

O'Cut. Your lordship's very good.

Lord Trink. Well, you'll come to-morrow. O'Cut. O, I'll not fail, my lord! Little Terence O'Cutter never fails, fait, when a troat is to be cut. [Exit. Lady Free. Ha, ha, ha! But sure you don't intend to ship off both her father and her country lover for the Indies?

Lord Trink. O no! Only let them contemplate the inside of a ship for a day or two.

Lady Free. Well, but after all, my lord, this is a very bold undertaking. I don't think you'll be able to put it in practice.

Lord Trink. Nothing so easy, 'pon honour. To press a gentleman--a man of qualityone of us--would not be so easy, I grant you. But these fellows, you know, have not half so decent an appearance as one of my footmen; and, from their behaviour, conversation, and dress, it is very possible to mistake them for grooms and ostlers.

Lady Free. There may be something in that indeed. But what use do you propose to make

of this stratagem?

Lord Trink. Every use in nature. This artifice must at least take them out of the way for some time; and, in the mean while, measures may be concerted to carry off the girl.

Enter a Servant.

Ser. Mrs Oakly, madam, is at the door, in ber chariot, and desires to have the honour of speaking to your ladyship, on particular business. Lord Trink. Mrs Oakly! what can that jealous-pated woman want with you?

Lady Free. No matter what.- -I hate her mortally. Let her in. [Exit Servant. Lord Trink. What wind blows her hither? Lady Free. A wind that must blow us some good.

Lord Trink. How?- -I was amazed you chose to see her.

Lady Free. How can you be so slow of apprehension ?- -She comes, you may be sure, on some occasion relating to this girl: in order to assist young Oakly, perhaps to sooth me, and gain intelligence, and so forward the match: but I'll forbid the banns, I warrant you.-Whatever she wants, I'll draw some sweet mischief out of it.But away! away!--I think I hear her-slip down the back stairs--or, stay, VOL. IL

now I think on't, go out this way-meet her— and be sure to make her a very respectful bow, as you go out.

Lord Trink. Hush! here she is.

Enter MRS OAKLY. [LORD TRINKET baws, and exit.]

Mrs Oak. I beg pardon for giving your ladyship this trouble.

Lady Free. I am always glad of the honour of seeing Mrs Oakly.

Mrs Oak. There is a letter, madam, just come from the country, which has occasioned some alarm in our family. It comes from Mr Russet

Lady Free. Mr Russet!

Mrs Oak. Yes, from Mr Russet, madam; and is chiefly concerning his daughter. As she has the honour of being related to your ladyship, I took the liberty of waiting on you.

Lady Free. She is indeed, as you say, madam, a relation of mine; but, after what has happened, I scarce know how to acknowledge her.

Mrs Oak. Has she been so much to blame, then?

Lady Free. So much, madam? -Only judge for yourself.Though she had been so indiscreet, not to say indecent in her conduct, as to elope from her father, I was in hopes to have hushed up that matter, for the honour of our family.- -But she has run away from me too, madam!--went off in the most abrupt manner, not an hour ago.

Mrs Oak. You surprise me. Indeed her father, by his letter, seems apprehensive of the worst consequences. But does your ladyship imagine any harm has happened?

Lady Free. I cannot tell-I hope not-but, indeed, she is a strange girl. You know, madam, young women cannot be too cautious in their conduct. She is, I am sorry to declare it, a very dangerous person to take into a family. Mrs Oak. Indeed!

[Alarmed. Lady Free. If I was to say all I know! Mrs Oak. Why, sure, your ladyship knows of nothing that has been carried on clandestinely between her and Mr Oakly. [In disorder.

Lady Free. Mr Oakly!

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