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Maj. Quarrel! ha, ha, ha! What signifies a quarrel with a mistress? Why, the whole affair of making love,, as they call it, is nothing but quarreling and making it up again. They quarrel on purpose to kiss and be friends.

Cha. Then, indeed, things seemed to be taking a fortunate turn- -To renew our difference at such a time!Just when I had some reason to hope for a reconciliation!May wine be my poison, if ever I am drunk again!

Maj. Ay, ay; so every man says the next

morning.

Cha. Where, where can she be? Her father would hardly carry her back to lady Freelove's, and he has no house in town himself, nor sir Harry-I don't know what to think I'll go in search of her, though I don't know where to direct myself.

Enter a Servant.

Ser. A gentleman, sir, that calls himself Captain O'Cutter, desires to speak with you.

Cha. [Reading.] Ha! what's this? This may be useful. [Aside. Maj. Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you-A rare fellow this! [Aside.] Yes, yes, I'll meet all the good company. I'll be there in my waistcoat and pumps, and take a morning's breathing with you. Are you very fond of fighting, sir?

O'Cut. Indeed and I am; I love it better than salt beef or biscuit.

Maj. But pray, sir, how are you interested in this difference? Do you know what it is about? O'Cut. O, the devil burn me, not I. What signifies what its about, you know? so we do but tilt a little.

Maj. What! fight, and not know for what? O'Cut. When the signal's out for engaging, what signifies talking?

Maj. I fancy, sir, a duel is a common breakfast with you? I'l! warrant now you have been engaged in many such affairs.

O'Cut. Upon my shoul, and I have: sea or land, its all one to little Terence O'Cutter————

Cha. Don't trouble me- -I'll see nobody-When I was last in Dublin, I fought one jontleI'm not at home—

Ser. The gentleman says he has very particular business, and he must see you.

Cha. What's his name? Who did you say?
Ser. Captain O'Cutter, sir.

Cha. Captain O'Cutter! I never heard of him before. Do you know any thing of him, major? Maj. Not I-But you hear he has particular business. I'll leave the room.

Cha. He can have no business that need be a secret to you Desire the captain to walk up [Exit Servant.]-What would I give if this unknown captain was to prove a messenger from my Harriot!

Enter CAPTAIN O'CUTTER. O'Cut. Jontlemen, your sarvant. Is either of your names Charles Oakly, esq.

Cha. Charles Oakly, sir, is my name, if you have any business with it.

O'Cut. Avast, avast, my dear!-I have a little business with your name, but as I was to let nobody know it, I can't mention it till you clear the decks, fait- [Pointing to the major. Cha. This gentleman, sir, is my most intimate friend, and any thing that concerns me may be mentioned before him.

O'Cut. O, if he's your friend, my dear, we may do all above-board. Its only about your deciding a deferance with my lord Trinket. He wants to shew you a little warm work; and as I was steering this way, he desired me to fetch you this letter. [Giving a letter.]

Maj. How, sir, a challenge!

O'Cut. Yes, fait, a challenge. I am to be his lordship's second; and if you are fond of a hot birth, and will come along with that jontleman, we'll all go to it together, and make a little line of battle a-head of our own, my dear.

man for cheating me out of a tousand pounds: I fought two of the Mermaid's crew about Sally Macguire; tree about politics; and one about the play-house in Smock-Alley. But upon my fait, since I am in England, I have done noting at all, at all.

Cha. This is lucky-but my transport will discover me. [Aside.] Will you be so kind, sir, [To O'CUTTER.] as to make my compliments to his lordship, and assure him that I shall do myself the honour of waiting on him.

O'Cut. Indeed and I will-Arrah, my dear, won't you come, too? [TO MAJOR OAKLY. Maj. Depend upon't. We'll go through the whole exercise: carte, tierce, and segoon, captain. Cha. Now to get my intelligence. [Aside.] I think the time, sir, his lordship appoints in his letter, is-a

O'Cut. You say right

-Six o'clock. Cha. And the place-a-a-is-I think, behind Montague-House?

O'Cut. No, my dear! Avast, by the Ring in Hyde-Park, fait—I settled it there myself, for fare of interruption.

Cha. True, as you say, the Ring in HydePark-I had forgot-Very well, I'll not fail you,

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Maj. Ay! how do you know? Cha. Why, this dear, delightful, charming, blundering captain, has delivered me a wrong letter.

Maj. A wrong letter!

Cha. Yes, a letter from lord Trinket to lady Freelove.

Maj. The devil! what are the contents? Cha. The news I told you just now, that she's at an inn in Holborn :-and besides, an excuse from my lord, for not waiting on her ladyship this morning, according to his promise, as he shall be entirely taken up with his design upon Harriot.

Maj. So!-so!-A plot between the lord and the lady.

Cha. What his plot is, I don't know; but I shall beg leave to be made a party in it: so, perhaps his lordship and I may meet, and decide our deferance, as the captain calls it, before tomorrow morning-There! read, read, man! [Giving the letter.

Maj. [Reading.] Um-um-um-very fine! And what do you propose doing?

Cha. To go thither immediately. Maj. Then you shall take me with you. Who knows what his lordship's designs may be? I begin to suspect foul play.

Cha. No, no; pray mind your own business. If I find there is any need of your assistance, I'll send for you.

Maj. You'll manage this affair like a boy now -Go on rashly, with noise and bustle and fury, and get yourself into another scrape.

And yet he don't want it neither-But I know
his temper-He pieces out the matter with max-
ims, and scraps of philosophy, and odds and ends
of sentences-I must live in peace- -Patience
is the best remedy-Any thing for a quiet life!
and so on- However, yesterday, to give him
his due, he behaved like a man. Keep it up,
brother! keep it up! or its all over with you.
Since mischief is on foot, I'll even set it forwards
on all sides. I'll in to him directly, read him
one of my morning lectures, and persuade him,
if I possibly can, to go out with me immediately;
or work him up to some open act of rebellion
against the sovereign authority of his lady-wife.
Zounds, brother! rant, and roar, and rave, and
turn the house out of the window. If I was a
husband!————'Sdeath, what a pity it is, that no-
body knows how to manage a wife but a batche-
lor!
[Exit.

SCENE II-Changes to the Bull and Gate
Inn.

Enter HARRIOT.

Har. What will become of me? My father is enraged, and deaf to all remonstrances, and here I am to remain, by his positive orders, to receive this booby baronet's odious addresses.—Among all my distresses, I must confess that Charles's behaviour yesterday is not the least. So wild! so given up to excesses! And yet I am ashamed to own it even to myself-I love him: and death itself shall not prevail on me to give my hand to sir Harry. But bere he comes! What shall I do with him?

Cha. No-no-Let me alone; I'll go incog. Leave my chariot at some distance-Proceed Enter SIR HARRY BEAGLE, prudently, and take care of myself, I warrant you. I did not imagine that I should ever re- Sir Har. Your servant, miss!- -What? Not joice at receiving a challenge; but this is the most speak!--Bashful, mayhap-Why, then, I will. fortunate accident that could possibly have hap--Look'e, miss, I am a man of few words.pened. B'ye, b'ye, uncle! [Exit hastily. What signifies haggling! It looks just like a deaMaj. I don't half approve of this-and yet Iler.-What d'ye think of me for a husband?— can hardly suspect his lordship of any very deep I am a tight young fellow-sound wind and limb designs neither-Charles may easily outwit him.-free from all natural blemishes-Rum all over, Hark ye, William ! damme! Har. Sir, I don't understand you. Speak English, and I'll give you an answer.

Ser. Sir!

[Seeing a servant at some distance.

Enter Servant.

Maj. Where's my brother?
Ser. In his study-alone, sir.
Maj. And how is he, William?
Ser. Pretty well, I believe, sir.

Maj. Ay, ay; but is he in good humour, or—
Ser. I never meddle in family affairs, not I,
sir.
[Erit.
Maj. Well said, William !- -No bad hint for
me, perhaps !-What a strange world we live in!
-No two people in it love one another better
than my brother and sister, and yet the bitterest
enemies could not torment each other more
heartily—Ah, if he had but half my spirit!

Sir Har. English! Why so I do—and good plain English, too.-What d'ye think of me for a husband?-That's English-a'nt_it ?-----I know none of your French lingo, none of your parlyvoos, not I.--What d'ye think of me for a husband? The 'squire says you shall marry me.

Har. What shall I say to him? I had best be civil. [Aside.]----I think, sir, you deserve a much better wife, and beg------

Sir Har. Better! No, no,---though you're so knowing, I'm not to be taken in so.--You're a fine thing------Your points are all good.

Har. Sir Harry! Sincerity is above all ceremony. Excuse me, if I declare I never will be your wife. And if you have a real regard for

me, and my happiness, you will give up all pre- | now, while I dread his rage, my heart bleeds for tension to me. Shall I beseech you, sir, to per- his uneasiness--I wish I could resolve to obey suade my father not to urge a marriage, to which him. I am determined never to consent?

Sir Har. Hey! how! what! be off!--Why, it's a match, miss!-It's done and done on both sides.

Har. For Heaven's sake, sir, withdraw your claim to me.---I never can be prevailed on----indeed I can't-----

Sir Har. What, make a match, and then draw stakes! That's doing of nothing---Play or pay, all the world over.

Har. Let me prevail on you, sir !-----I am determined not to marry you at all events.

Sir Har. But your father's determined you shall, miss; so the odds are on my side. am not quite sure of my horse, but I have the rider hollow.

Har. Your horse! Sir------d'ye take me for-but I forgive you. I beseech you come into my proposal. It will be better for us both in the

end.

Sir Har. I can't be off.

Har. Let me entreat you.

Sir Har. I tell you, it's unpossible.
Har. Pray, pray do, sir.

Sir Har. I can't, damme.
Har. I beseech you.
Sir Har. [Whistles.]
Har. How! laughed at?

Sir Har. Will you marry me? Deur Ally, Ally
Croker!
[Singing.
Har. Marry you? I had rather be married to
a slave, a wretch-------You! [Walks about.
Sir Har. A fine going thing. -She has a
deal of foot-treads well upon her pasterns---
goes above her ground-

Har. Peace, wretch!-Do you talk to me as if I were your horse?

Sir Har. Horse! Why not speak of my horse? If your fine ladies had half as many good qualilities, they would be much better bargains.

Har. And if their wretches of husbands liked then half so well as they do their horses, they would lead better lives.

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Enter RUSSET.

Rus. Are not you a sad girl? a perverse, stubborn, obstinate---

Har. My dear sir

Rus. Look ye, Harriot, don't speak; you'll put me in a passion-Will you have him?-Answer me that-Why don't the girl speak? Will you have him?

Har. Dearest sir, there is nothing in the world else

Rus. Why there! there! Look ye there! Zounds, you shall have him-Hussy, you shall have him-You shall marry him to-night-Did not you promise to receive him civilly? How came you to affront him?

Har. Sir, I did receive him very civilly;but his behaviour was so insolent and insupporta

ble

Rus. Insolent! Zounds, I'll blow his brains out. Insolent to my dear Harriot! A rogue! a villain! a scoundrel! I'll-but it's a lie-I know it's a lie- -He durst not behave insolentWill you have him? Answer me that. Will you have him? Zounds, you shall have him.

Har. If you have any love for me, sir

Rus. Love for you! You know I love youYou know your poor foud father dotes on you to madness. I would not force you, if I did not love you-Don't I want you to be happy? But I know what you would have. You want young Oakly, a rake-helly, drunken

Har. Release me from sir Harry, and if I ever marry against your consent, renounce me for ever.

Rus. I will renounce you, unless you'll have sir Harry.

Har. Consider, my dear sir, you'll make me miserable. I would die to please you, but cannot prostitute my hand to a man my heart abhors. Absolve me from this hard command, and in every thing else it will be my happiness to obey you.

Rus. You'll break my heart, Harriot; you'll break my heart-Make you miserable!— Don't I want to make you happy? Is not he the richest man in the county? That will make you happy. Don't all the pale-faced girls in the country long to get him? And yet you are so perverse, and wayward, and stubborn-Zounds, you shall have him!

Sir Har. Mayhap so.- But what signifies talking to you?- -The 'squire shall know your -He'll doctor you.-I'll go and talk to him. Har. Go any where, so that you go from me. Sir Har. He'll break you in---If you won't go in a snaffle, you must be put in a curb- -He'll break you, damme. [Erit. I Rus. Hold your tongue, Harriot! I'll hear none of your nonsense. You shall have him, I tell you, you shall have him-He shall marry you this very night I'll go for a licence and a parson immediately. Zounds! Why do I stand arguing with you? An't I your father? Have 5 I

Har. A wretch!-But I was to blame to suffer his brutal behaviour to ruffle my temper.-could expect nothing else from him, and he is below my anger.-—How much trouble has this odious fellow caused, both to me and my poor father!-I never disobeyed him before, and my denial now makes him quite unhappy. In any thing else, I would be all submission; and even VOL. II.

Har. For Heaven's sake, sir

not I a right to dispose of you? You shall have thousand fears and apprehensions of losing you him.

Har. Sir!

Rus. I won't hear a word. You shall have [Exit.

im.

for ever-The chambermaid, whom I bribed to admit me to you, told me, that when the two gentlemen went out, they talked of a license. What am I to think! Is it possible that you can resign Har. Sir! Hear me ! but one word! He will yourself to sir Harry Beagle? [HARRIOT pauses.] not hear me, and is gone to prepare for this odi-Can you, then, consent to give your hand to anoous marriage. I will die before I consent to it. ther? No, let me once more deliver youYou shall have him! O that fathers would en- Let us seize this lucky moment! My chariot force their commands by better arguments!-stands at the corner of the next street. Let me And yet I pity him, while he afflicts me. He gently force you, while their absence allows it, upbraided me with Charles; his wildness and and convey you from the brutal violence of a intemperance-Alas! but too justly-I see that constrained marriage. he is wedded to his excesses; and I ought to conquer an affection for him, which will only serve to make me unhappy.

Enter CHARLES, in a frock, &c.

Ha! What do I see!
[Screaming.
Cha. Peace, my love! My dear life, make no
noise! I have been hovering about the house
this hour-I just now saw your father and sir
Harry go out, and have seized this precious
portunity to throw myself at your feet.

Har. No! I will wait the event, be it what it may. O, Charles, I am too much inclinedThey shan't force me to marry sir Harry-But your behaviour Not half an hour ago, my father reproached me with the looseness of your character. [Weeping.

Cha. I see my folly, and am ashamed of it.You have reclaimed me, Harriot! On my soul, you have. If all women were as attentive as op-yourself to the morals of their lovers, a libertine would be an uncommon character. But let me persuade you to leave this place, while you may

Har. You have given yourself, sir, a great deal of needless trouble. I did not expect, or hope,

for the favour of such a visit.

Cha. O my dear Harriot, your words and looks cut me to the soul. You can't imagine what I suffer, and have suffered since last night. And yet I have, in some fond moments, flattered myself, that the service I was so fortunate as to do you at lady Freelove's, would plead a little in my favour.

Har. You may remember, sir, that you took a very early opportunity of cancelling that obligation.

Cha. I do remember it with shame and despair. But may I perish, if my joy at having delivered you from a villain was not the cause! My transport more than half intoxicated me, and wine made an easy conquest over me. I tremble to think, lest I should have behaved in such a manner as you cannot pardon.

Har. Whether I pardon you or no, sir, is a matter of mighty little consequence.

Cha. O, my Harriot! Upbraid me, reproach me; do any thing but look and talk with that air of coldness and indifference. Must I lose you for one offence? when my soul dotes on you, when I love you to distraction!

Har. Did it appear like love, your conduct yesterday? To lose yourself in riot, when I was exposed to the greatest distresses!

Cha. I feel, I feel my shame, and own it. Har. You confess that you don't know in what manner you behaved. Ought not I to tremble at the very thoughts of a man, devoted to a vice, which renders him no longer a judge or master of his own conduct?

Char. Abandon me, if ever I am guilty of it again. O, Harriot! I am distracted with ten

Major Oakly will receive us at his house with pleasure I am shocked at the thoughts of what your stay here may reserve you to.

Har. No, I am determined to remain-To leave my father again, to go off openly with a man, of whose libertine character he has himself so lately been a witness, would justify his anger, and impeach my reputation.

Cha. Fool! fool! How unhappy have I made myself! Consider, my Harriot, the peculiarity of your situation; besides, I have reason to fear other designs against you.

Har. From other designs I can be no where so
secure as with
my
father.

Cha. Time flies- Let me persuade you !
Har. I am resolved to stay here.

Cha. You distract me. For Heaven's sake.-
Har. I will not think of it.

Cha. Consider, my angel!

Har. I do consider, that your conduct has made it absolutely improper for me to trust myself to your care.

Cha. My conduct! Vexation! 'Sdeath! But, then, my dear Harriot, the danger you are in, the necessity

Enter Chambermaid.

Cham. O law, ma'am! Such a terrible accident! As sure as I am here, there's a press-gang has seized the two gemmin, and is carrying them away, thof so be one an 'em says as how he's a knight and baronight, and that t'other's a 'squire and a housekeeper.

Har. Seized by a press gang! impossible. Cha. O, now the design comes out. But I'll baulk his lordship.

Cham. Lack-a-dasy, ma'am, what can we do?

There is master, and John Ostler, and Bootcatch-pons. If this misses, I have the fellow to't in er, all gone a'ter 'em. There is such an uproar my pocket. Don't be frighted, madam. His [Erit. lordship has removed your friends and relations, Har. If I thought this was your contrivance, but he will take great care of you. Shall I leave sir, I would never speak to you again. you with him?

as never was.

Cha. I would sooner die than be guilty of it. This is lord Trinket's doing, I am sure. I knew he had some scheme in agitation, by a letter I intercepted this morning.

Har. [Screams.]

Cha. Ha! Here he comes. Nay, then, 'tis plain enough. Don't be frighted, my love! I'll protect you. But, now, I must desire you to follow my directions.

Enter LORD TRINKET.

:

'Lord Trink. Now, madam. Pox on't, he here, again! Nay, then--[Drawing.]--Come, sir! You're unarmed, I see. Give up the lady give her up, I say, or I am through you in a twinkling. [Going to make a pass at CнA. Cha. Keep your distance, my lord! I have arms.-[Producing a pistol.]—If you come a foot nearer, you have a brace of balls through your lordship's head.

Lord Trink. How? what's this? pistols! Cha. At your lordship's service. Sword and pistol, my lord. Those, you know, are our wea

Har. Cruel Charles! You know I must go with you now.

lord

Cha. A little way from the door, if your lordship pleases. [Waving his hand. Lord Trink. Sir!-'Sdeath-Madam!Cha. A little more round, my lord. [Waving. Lord Trink. But, sir! Mr Oakly! Cha. I have no leisure to talk with your ship now. A little more that way, if you please. -[Waving.]-You know where I live. If you have any commands for Miss Russet, you will hear of her, too, at my house. Nay, keep back, my lord.-[Presenting.]-Your lordship's most obedient humble servant.

[Exit CHA. with HAR. Lord Trink. [Looking after them, and pausing for a short time.]-I cut a mighty ridiculous figure here, 'pon honour. So! I have been concerting this deep scheme, merely to serve him.Oh, the devil take such intrigues, and all silly country girls, that can give up a man of quality and figure, for a fellow that nobody knows! [Exit.

ACT V.

SCENE I.-LADY FREELOVE's house. Enter LORD TRINKET, LADY FREELOVE with a letter, and CAPTAIN O'CUTTER.

Lord Trink. Was ever any thing so unfortunate? Pox on't, captain, how could you make such a strange blunder?

O'Cut. I never tought of a blunder. I was to daliver two letters, and, if I gave them one apiece, I tought it was all one, fait.

Lady Free. And so, my lord, the ingenious captain gave the letter intended for me to young Oakly, and here he has brought me a challenge. Lord Trink. Ridiculous! never was any thing so mal-a-propos. Did you read the direction, captain!

O'Cut. Who, me! Devil burn me, not I. I never rade at all.

Lord Trink. 'Sdeath! How provoking! When I had secured the servants, and got all the people out of the way-When every thing was en train.

Lady Free. Nay, never despair, my lord! Things have happened unluckily, to be sure; and yet I think I could hit upon a method to set every thing to right again.

Lord Trink. How? How? my dear lady Freelove, how?

Lady Free. Suppose, then, your ladyship was to go and deliver these country gentlemen from

their confinement; make them believe it was a plot of young Oakly's to carry off my niece; and so make a merit of your own services with the father.

Lord Trink. Admirable! I'll about it immediately.

O'Čut. Has your lordship any occasion for my services in this expedition?

Lord Trink. O no: only release me these people, and then keep out of the way, dear captain.

O'Cut. With all my heart, fait. But you are all wrong: this will not signify a brass farding. If you would let me alone, I would give him a salt eel, I warrant you. But, upon my credit, there's noting to be done without a little tilting. [Exit O'CUT.

Lady Free. Ha, ha! poor captain! Lord Trink. But where shall I carry them, when I have delivered them?

Lady Free. To Mr Oakly's, by all means.— You may be sure my niece is there.

Lord Trink. To Mr Oakly's! Why, does your ladyship consider? 'Tis going directly in the fire of the enemy-throwing the dementi full in their teeth.

Lady Free. So much the better. Face your enemies: nay, you shall outface them, too. Why, where's the difference between truths and untruths, if you do but stick close to the point?

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