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Cham, Is a fine young lady, for all your evil Cham. Now, madam !-- 'Tis so very late, matongue.
damBrush. Nowe have smoaked her already; Mrs Heid. I don't care how late it is. Tell and unless she marries our old Swiss, she can him there are thieves in the house -that the have none of us no, no, she won't do—we house is on fire-tell him to come here imare a little too nice.
mediately_go, I say ! Cham. You're a monstrous rake, Mr Brush, Cham. I will, I will, though I'm frightened out and don't care what you say.
of my wits.
[Erit. Brush. Why, for that matter, my dear, I am a Mrs Heid. Do you watch here, my dear; and little inclined to mischief; and if you don't have I'll put myself in order, to face them. We'll pity upon me, I will break open that door, and plot them, and counter-plot then, too. ravish Mrs Heidelberg.
[Exit into her chamber. Mrs Heid. [Coming forward.] There's no bear Miss Ster. I have as much pleasure in this reing this—you profligate monster!
venge, as in being made a countess.---Ha! they Cham. Ha! I am undone !
are unlocking the door.
—Now for it! Brush. Zounds! here she is, by all that's mon
(Retires. strous !
[Runs off: Miss Ster. A fine discourse you have had withi Fanny's door is unlocked. and Betty comes out that fellow!
with a candle. Miss Sterling approaches
her. Mrs Heid. And a fine time of night it is to be here with that drunken monster!
Betty. (Calling within.] Sir, sir! now's your Biss Ster. What have you to say for your time-all's clear. [Seeing Miss Sterling.] – self?
Stay, stay-110t yet-we are watched. Cham. I can say notbing.--I'm so frightened, Miss Ster. And so you are, madam Betty. and so ashamed--but indeed I am vartuous-I [Miss STERLING lays hold of her, while am vartuous, indeed.
Betty locks the door, and puts the key Mrs Heid. Weli, well-don't tremble so;
into her pocket.) but, tell us what you know of this horrable plot, Bet. [Turning round.] What's the matter, here.
madam? Miss Ster. We'll forgive you, if you'll discover Miss Ster. Nay, that you shall tell my father
and aunt, madani. Cham. Why, madam-don't let me betray my Bet. I am no tell-tale, madam, and no thief; fellow servants--I shan't sleep in my bed, if I they'll get nothing from ine. do.
Miss Ster. You have a great deal of courage, Mrs Heid. Then you shall sleep somewhere Betty; and, considering the secrets you have to else to-morrow night.
keep, you have occasion for it. Cham. O dear! what shall I do!
Bet. My mistress shall never repent her good Mrs Heid. Tell us this moment, or I'll turn opinion of me, ma'am. you out of doors directly. Cham. Why, our butler has been treating us
Enter MR STERLING. below in his pantry—Mr Brush forced us to make a kind of a holiday night of it.
Ster. What's all this? What's the matter! Miss Ster. Holiday ! for what?
Why am I disturbed in this manner? Cham. Nay, I only made one.
Miss Ster. This creature, and my distresses, Miss Ster. Well, well; but upon what ac- sir, will explain the matter. count? Cham. Because, as how, madam, there was a
Re-enter Mrs HEIDELBERG, with another headchange in the family, they said that his hou
dress. onr, sir John, was to marry Miss Fanny, instead of your ladyship.
Mrs Heid. Now I'm prepared for the ranMiss Ster. And so you make a holiday for that? | counter. Well, brother, have you heard of this -Very fine !
scene of wickedness? Chem. I did not make it, madam.
Ster. Not (but what is it? Speak. I was Mrs Heid. But do you know nothing of sir got into my little closet, all the lawyers were in John's being to run away with Miss Fanny to- bed, and I had almost lost my senses in the night?
confusion of lord Ogleby's mortgages, when I Cham. No, indeed, madam.
was alarmed with a foolish girl, who could hardMiss Ster. Nor of his being now locked up in ly speak; and whether it's fire, or thieves, or my sister's chamber?
inurder, or a rape, I'm quite in the dark. Cham. No, as I hope for marcy, madam. Mrs Heid. No, no; there's no rape, brother!
Mrs Heid. Well, I'll put an end to all this di- all parties are willing, I believe. rectly-do you run to my brother Sterling Aliss Ster. Who's in that chamber?
[Detaining Betty, who seemed to be stealing or burn themselves in it, rather than not be away.]
revenged. Bet. My mistress. Miss Ster. And wbo's with your mistress?
Enter CANTON, in a night-gown and slippers. Bet. Why, who should there be?
Can. Eh, diable ! vat is de raison of dis great Miss Ster. Open the door, then, and let us noise, dis tantamarre?
Ster. Ask those ladies, sir; 'tis of their maBet. The door is open, madam. (Miss STER- king. LING goes to the door.] I'll sooner die than Lord Oyle. (Calls within.] Brush ! Brush! peach.
[Exit hastily. Canton! where are you? What's the matter Miss Ster. The door is locked; and she has (Rings a bell.] Where are you? got the key in her pocket.
Ster. 'Tis my lord calls, Mr Canton. Mrs Heid. There's impudence, brother! pi Can. I com, mi lor!ping hot from your daughter Fanny's school!
[Exit Cantox. Ster. But zounds! what is all this about? You
(LORD OGLEBY still rings. tell me of a sum total, and you don't produce the Serj. Flow. (Calls within.] A light ! a light, particulars.
here! where are the servants? Bring a light for Mrs Heid. Sir John Melvil is lock up in your me and my
brothers. daughter's bed-chamber - There is the parti Ster. Lights here! lights for the gentlemen! culars.
[Erit STERLING. Ster. The devil he is! That's bad.
Mrs Heid. My brother feels, I see your sisMiss Ster. And he has been there some time, ter's turn will come next.
Miss Ster. Ay, ay, let it go round, madam; it Ster. Ditto!
is the only comfort I have left. Mrs Heid. Ditto! worse and worse, I say.I'll raise the house, and expose him to my lord, Re-enter Sterling, with lights, before Serjeant and the whole famınaly,
Flower, with one boot and a slipper, and
TRAVERSE. Ster. By no means! we shall expose ourselves, sister! the best way is to insure privately Ster. This way, sir! this way, gentlemen!
- let me alone! I'll make him marry her to Flow. Well; but Mr Sterling, no danger, I morrow morning.
hope. Have they made a burglarious entry?-Miss Ster. Make him marry her! this is be- Are you prepared to repulse them? I am very yond all patience! You have thrown away all much alarmed about thieves at circuit-time. your affection; and I shall do as much by my They would be particularly severe with us genobedience; unnatural fathers make unnatural tlemen of the bar. children. My revenge is in my own power, and
Tra. No danger, Mr Sterling ? no trespass, I I'll indulge it. Had they made their escape, I hope ? should have been exposed to the derision of the Ster. None, gentlemen, but of those ladies world: but the deriders shall be derided; and making. su-help! help, there! thieves ! thieves !
Mrs Heid. You'll be ashamed to know, gerMrs Heid. Tit-for-tat, Betsey! you are right, tlemen, that all your labours and studies a
bout this young lady are thrown away-Sir Joha Ster. Zounds! you'll spoil all-youll raise Melyil is, at this moment, locked up with this the whole family-the devil's in the girl ! lady's younger sister.
Mrs Heid. No, no; the devil's in you, bro Flow. The thing is a little extraordinary, to ther; I am ashamed of your principles. What! be sure; but, why were we to be frightened oat would you connive at your daughter's being of our beds for this? Could not we have tried locked up with her sister's husband? Help! this cause to-morrow morning? thieves ! thieves, I say!
[Cries out. Miss Ster. But, sir, by to-morrow morning, Ster. Sister, I beg you ! daughter, I command perhaps, even your assistance would not have you! If you have no regard for me, consider been of any service--the birds, now in that cage, yourselves! we shall lose this opportunity of en- would have flown away. nobling our blood, and getting above twenty per Enter LORD OGLEBY, in his robe-de-chambre, cent, for our money. Miss Ster. What, by my disgrace and my
night-cap, s.c. leaning on Canton. ter's triumph! I have a spirit above such mean Lord Ogle. I had rather lose a limb than my considerations; and to shew you, that it is not a night's rest. What's the matter with you all ? low-bred, vulgar 'Change-alley spirit help! Ster. Ay, ay, 'tis all over ! Here's my lord help! thieves ! thieves ! thieves, I say!
Ster. Ay, ay, you may save your lungs—the Lord Oyle. What's all this shrieking and house is in an uproar: women, at best, have no screaming? Where's my angelic Fanny She's discretion; but, in a passion, they'll fire a house, safe, I hope?
Mrs Heid. Your angelic Fanny, my lord, is Flow. Luce clarius. locked up with your angelic nephew in that Lord Ogle. Upon my word, ladies, if you have chamber.
often these frolicks, it would be really entertainLord Ogle. My nephew! then will I be excom- ing to pass a whole suinmer with you. But come, municated.
[To Berty.] open the door, and entreat your Mrs Heid. Your nephew, my lord, has been amiable mistress to come forth, and dispel all plotting to run away with the younger sister; our doubts with her smiles. and the younger sister has been plotting to run Bet. [Opening the door.] Madam, you are away with your nephew: and if we had not wanted in this room.
(Pertly. watched them, and called up the fammaly, they had been upon the scamper to Scotland by this
Enter Fanny, in great confusion. time.
Miss Ster. You see she's ready dressed--and . Lord Ogle. Look'e, ladies! I know that sir what confusion she's in! John has conceived a violent passion for Miss Mrs Heid. Ready to pack off, bag and bagFanny; and I know, too, that Miss Fanny has gage! her guilt confounds her! conceived a violent passion for another person; Flow. Silence in the court, ladies! and I am so well convinced of the rectitude of Fan. I am confounded, indeed, madam! her affections, that I will support them with my Lord Ogle. Don't droop, my beauteous lily! fortune, my honour, and my life. Eh, shau't I, but, with vour own peculiar modesty, declare your Mr Sterling? [Smiling.) What say you? state of mind.---Pour conviction into their ears, . Ster. [Sulkily.) To be sure, my lord. These and raptures into mine.
[Smiling. bawling women have been the ruin of every Fan. I am, at this moment, the most unhappy thing.
(Aside. -most distressed--the tumult is too much for Lord Ogle. But come, I'll end this business in my heart—and I want the power to reveal a sea trice-if you, ladies, will compose yourselves, cret, which, to conceady has been the misfortune and Mr Sterling will insure Miss Fanny from vio- and misery of my
[Faints acay. lence, I will engage to draw her from her pillow Lord Ogle. She faints ! help, help! for the with a whisper through the key-hole.
fairest and best of women ! Mrs Heid. The horrid creatures ! I say, my Bet. (Running to her.] O, my dear mistress lord, break the door open.
-help, help, there! Lord Ogle. Let me beg of your delicacy not Sir John. Ha! let me fly to her assistance. to be too precipitate. Now to our experiment ! [Advancing towards the door.
Lovewell rushes out of the chamber. Miss Ster. Now, what will they do? my heart will beat through my bosom.
Love. My Fanny in danger! I can contain no
longer.-Prudence were now a crime; all other Enter Betty, with the key.
cares were lost in this !--speak, speak, speak to Bet. There's no occasion for breaking open me, my dearest Fanny !--let me but hear thy doors, my lord; we have done nothing that we voice! open your eyes, and bless me with the ought to be ashamed of, and my mistress shall smallest sign of life! face her eyemies. (Going to unlock the door. [During this speech, they are all in amazeMrs Heid. There's impudence !
ment.] Lord Ogle. The mystery thickens. Lady of Miss Ster. Lovewell !the bed-chamber, (To Betty.] open the door, Mrs Heid, I am thunderstruck ! and entreat sir John Melvil (for the ladies will Lord Ogle. I am petrified ! have it that he is there) to appear and answer to Sir John. And I undone ! high crimes and misdemeanors.-Call sir John Fan. [Recovering.] 0, Lovewell !—even supMelvil into the court!
ported by thee, I dare not look my father, nor
his lordship, in the face. Enter Sir John Melvil, on the other side.
Ster. What now! did not I send you to LonSir John. I am here, my lord.
don, sir? Mrs Heid. Hey-day!
Lord Ogle. Eh !—What! How's this? by what Aliss Ster. Astonishment !
right and title have you been half the night in Sir John. What's all this alarm and confusion that lady's bed-chamber? there is nothing but hurry in the house; what is Love. By that right, which makes me the hapthe reason of it?
piest of men! and, by a title, which I would not Lord Ogle. Because you have been in that forego, for any the best of kings could give. chamber; have been! nay, you are there at this Bet. I could cry ny eyes out to hear his magmoment, as these ladies have protested, so don't nimity. deny it
Lord Ogle. I am annihilated ! Íra. This is the clearest alibi I ever knew, Mr Ster. I have been choked with rage and wonSerjeant.
der; but now I can speak.-Zounds! what have
-I am easy.
you to say to me? Lovewell, you are a villain. | passions too much to tyrannize over those of other You have broke your word with me.
people. Poor souls, I pity them ! And you must Fan. Indeed, sir, he has not--you forbade him forgive them, too. Come, come, melt a little to think of me, when it was out of his power to of your flint, Mr Sterling ! obey you; we have been married these four Ster. Why, why, as to that, my lord—to be months.
sure he is a relation of yours, my lord—what Ster. And he shan't stay in my house four say you, sister Heidelberg ? hours. What baseness and treachery! As for Mrs Heid. The girl's ruined, and I forgive you, you
step as long as you live, her. inadam.
Ster. Well-so do I, then.—Nay, no thanksFan. Indeed, sir, it is impossible to conceive [To LovEwell and Fanny, who seem preparing the tortures I have already endured in conse to speak.] there's an end of the matter. quence of my disobedience. My heart has con Lord Ogle. But, Lovewell, what makes you tinually upbraided me for it; and, though I dumb all this while? was too weak to struggle with affection, I feel that Love. Your kindness, my lord-I can scarce I must be miserable for ever, without your for- believe my own sensez---they are all in a tumult giveness.
of fear, joy, love, expectation, and gratitude; I Ster. Lovewell, you shall leave my house di ever was, and am now more bound in duty to rectly; and you shall follow him, madarn. your lordship. For you, Mr Sterling, if every
Lord Ogle. And if they do, I will receive them moment of my life, spent gratefully in your serinto mine. Look ye, Mr Sterling; there have vice, will, in some measure, compensate the want been some mistakes, which we had all better for- of fortune, you, perhaps, will not repent your get, for our own sakes; and the best way to for- goodness to me. And you, ladies, I Hatter myget them, is to forgive the cause of them; which self
, will not, for the future, suspect me of artitice I do, from my soul.--Poor girl! I swore to sup- and intrigue.--I shall be happy to oblige and port her affection with my life and fortune ;-'tis serve you.--As for you, sir Johna debt of honour, and must be paid---you swore Sir John. No apologies to me, Lovewell; I do as much, too, Mr Sterling; but your laws in the not deserve any. All I have to offer, in excuse city will excuse you, I suppose; for you never for what has happened, is my total ignorance of strike a balance without errors excepted.
your situation. Had you dealt a little more openSter. I am a father, my lord; but, for the ly with me, you would have saved ine, and yoursake of all other fathers, I think I ought not to self, and that lady (who, I hope, will pardon forgive her, for fear of encouraging other silly my behaviour), a great deal of uneasiness. Give girls, like herself, to throw themselves away with me leave, however, to assure you, that, light and out the consent of their parents.
capricious as I may have appeared, now my inLove. I hope there will be no danger of that, fatuation is over, I have sensibility enough to be sir. Young ladies, with minds like my Fanny's, ashamed of the part I have acted, and honour would startle at the very shadow of vice; and, enough to rejoice at your happiness. when they know to what uneasiness only an in Love. And now, my dearest Fanny, though we discretion has exposed her, her example, in are seemingly the happiest of beings, yet all our stead of encouraging, will rather serve io deterjoys will be dampt, it bis lordship's generosity them.
and Mr Sterling's forgivenness, should not be sucMrs Heid. Indiscretion, quotha ! a mighty ceeded by the indulgence, approbation, and conpretty delicate word to express disobedience! sent of these our best benefactors. (To the audiLord Ogle. For my part, I indulge my own ence.]
SCENE I.-A room in Mrs GOODMAN's house. sits write, write, write, all day long, scribbling a
pack of nonsense for the newspapers !-You're Enter Molly, struggling with Spatter.
fit for nothing above a chambermaid. Mol. Be quiet, Mr Spatter! let me alone! Spat. That's as much as to
think Pray now, sir! It is a strange thing a body can't me just fit for you. Eh, child? go about the house without being pestered with Mol. No, indeed; not I, sir. Neither my lady your impertinence—Why sure !
nor I will have any thing to say to you. Spat. Introduce me to your mistress, then- Spat. Your mistress and you both give yourcome, there's a good girl !--and I will teaze you selves a great many airs, my dear. no longer.
verty, I think, might pull down your pride. Mol. Indeed I shan't-Introduce you to my
Nol. What does the fellow mean by poverty? lady! for what, pray?
Spat. I mean, that you are starving. Spat. Oh! for a thousand things. To laugh, Mol. Oh the slanderous monster! We! Starrto chat, to take a dish of tea, to
ing! Who told you so? I'd have you to know, Mol. You drink tea with my lady! I should sir, my lady has a very great fortune. not have thought of that-On what acquaint Spat. So 'tis a sign, by her way of life and apance?
pearance. Spat. The most agrecable in the world, child ! Mol. Well; she lives privately, indeed, bea new acquaintance.
cause she loves retirement; she goes plain, beMol. Indeed, you mistake yourself mightily, cause she hates dress; she keeps no table, beyou are not a proper acquaintance for a person cause she is an enemy to luxury-In short, my of her quality, I assure you, sir !
lady is as rich as a Jew, and you are an imperSpat. Why, what quality is she, then?
tinent coxcomb! Mol. Much too high quality for your acquaint Spat. Come, come! I know more of your ance, I promise you. What! a poct-man! that mistress than you imagine.