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poses your jointure to be one thousand pounds Tor. I am disappointed myself, man; I shan't a-year.
have a kiss of the bride. Miss Wal. General Savage !
Gen. Sav. At my time of life, too! Gen. Sav. You think this too little, perhaps ? Tor. I said, from the first, you were too old Miss Wal. I can't think of any jointure, sir. for her.
Tor. Why, to be sure, a jointure is, at best, Gen. Sav. Zounds! to fancy myself sure of her, but a melancholy possession, for it must be pur- and to triumph upon a certainty of victory ! chased by the loss of the husband you love! Tor. Ay, and to kiss her hand in a rapturous
Miss Wal. Pray, don't name it, Mr Torrington! return for her tenderness to you :-let me advise
Gen. Sav. (Kissing her hand.] A thousand you never to kiss before folks, as long as you live thanks to you, iny lovely girl!
again. Miss Wal. For Heaven's sake, let
hand! Gen. Sav. Don't distract me, Torrington! a Gen. Sad. I shall be mad 'till it gives me legal joke, where a friend has the misfortune to lose possession of the town!
the battle, is a downright inhumanity. Miss Wal. Gentlemen-general-Mr Torring- Tor. You told me, that your son had accused ton, 1--beg you'll hear me!
her of something that you would not bear; supGen. Sav. By all means, my adorable creature! pose we call at his lodgings? he, perhaps, as an I can never have too many proofs of your disin- amicus curia, may be able to give us a little interested affection.
formation. Miss Wal. There is a capital mistake in this Gen. Sav. Thank you for the thought-- But whole affair-I am sinking under a load of dis- keep your finger more than ever upon your lips, tress!
dear Torrington. You know how I dread the Gen. Sao. Your confusion makes you look danger of ridicule; and it would be too much, not charmingly, though.
only to be thrashed out of the field, but to be Miss Wal. There is no occasion to talk of join- laughed at into the bargain. ture, or marriages to me; I am not going to be Tor. I thought, when you made a presentment married.
of your sweet person to Miss Walsingham, that Tor. What's this?
the bill would be returned ignoramus. (Exeunt. Miss Wal. Nor have I an idea in nature, however enviable I think the honour, of being your
SCENE IV.-BELVILLE's. wife, sir. Gen. Sad. Madam!
Mrs BELVILLE, and Lady Rachel MILDEW, Tor. Why, here's a demur!
discovered on a sopha. Miss Wal. I am afraid, sir, that, in our con- Lady Rach. You heard what captain Savage versation this morning, my confusion, arising said ? from the particularity of the subject, has led you Mrs Bel. I would flatter myself, but my
heart into a material misconception.
will not suffer it; the Park might be too full for Gen. Sar. I am thunder-struck, madam! I the horrid purpose, and perhaps they are gone to could not mistake my ground.
decide the quarrel in some other place. Tor. As clear a nol. pros. as ever was issued Lady Rach. The captain inquired of numbers by an attorney-general.
in the Park, without hearing a syllable of them, Gen. Suv. Surely you can't forget, that, at the and is therefore positive, that they are parted first word, you hung out a flag of truce ; told me without doing any mischief. even, that I had a previous friend in the fort ; Mrs Bel. I am, nevertheless, torn by a thouand did not so much as hint a single article of sand apprehensions; and my fancy, with a gloomy capitulation?
kind of fondness, fastens on the most deadly. Tor. Now for the rejoinder to this replication! This very morning, I exultingly numbered myself
Miss Wal. All this is unquestionably true, ge- in the catalogue of the happiest wives. Perhaps neral, and perhaps a good deal more; but in I am a wife no longer-perhaps, my little innoreality, my confusion before you on this subject cents, your unhappy father is this moment breathto-day was such, that I scarcely knew what I ing his last sigh, and wishing, 0, how vainly! said ; I was dying with distress, and at this mo- that he had nut preferred a guilty pleasure to ment am very little better. Permit me to retire, his own life, to my eternal peace of mind, and general Savage, and only suffer me to add, that your felicity! though I think myself highly flattered by your
Enter SPRUCE. addresses, it is impossible for me ever to receive them. Lord ! Lord! I am glad 'tis over in Spruce. Madam! madam! my master! my any manner.
Bel. My love!
Mrs Bel. O, Mr Belville !
[Faints. SCENE II.-Changes to CAPTAIN Savage's Bel. Assistance, quick!
lodgings. Lady Rach. There she revives. Bel. The angel softens ! how this rends my
Enter CAPTAIN SAVAGE. heart!
Capt. Sav. The vehemence of my resentment Mrs Bel. O, Mr Belville, if you could conceive against this abandoned woman has certainly led the agonies I have endured, you would avoid the me too far. I should not have acquainted her possibility of another quarrel as long as you lived, with my discovery of her baseness-00; if I had out of common humanity.
acted properly, I should have concealed all knowBel. My dearest creature, spare these tender ledge of the transaction till the very moment of reproaches ! you know not how sufficiently I am her guilt, and then burst upon her when she was punished to see you thus miserable.
solacing with her paramour, in all the fulness of Lady Rach. That's pleasant indeed, when you security. Now, if she should either alter her have yourself deliberately loaded her with aftlic- mind, with respect to going to the masquerade, tion.
or go in a different habit, to elude my observaBel. Pray, pray, lady, lachel, have a little tion, I not only lose the opportunity of exposing mercy! Your poor humble servant has been a her, but give her time to plan some plausible ex. very naughty boy—but if you only forgive him cuse for her infamous letter to Belville. this single time, he will never more deserve the rod of correction.
Enter a Sercant. Mrs Bel. Since you are returned safe, I am Ser. General Savage and Mr Torrington, sir, happy. Excuse these foolish tears; they gush in Capt. Suo. You blockhead! why did you les spite of ine.
them wait a moment ?-What can be the meanBel. How contemptible do they render me, my ing of this visit?
[Erit Servant. love! Lady Rach. Come, my dear, you must turn
Enter GENERAL SAVAGE, and TORRINGTOX. your pind from this gloomy subject. Suppose Gen. Suv. I come, Horace, to talk to you about we step up stairs, and communicate our pleasure Miss Walsingham. to Miss Walsingham?
Capt. Sav. She's the most worthless woman Mrs Bel. With all my heart! Adieu, recreant! existing, sir: I can convince you of it.
[Ereunt MRS BEL. and Lady Rach. Gen. Sao. I have already changed my own opiBel. I don't deserve such a woman, I don't nion of her. deserve her. Yet, I believe, I am the first hus- Capt. Sav. What, you have found her out your band that ever found fault with a wife for ha- self, sir? ving too much goodness.
Tor. Yes he has made a trifling discovery.
Gen. Suv. 'Sdeath! don't make me contempEnter SPRUCE. tible to my son.
(Aside to Tor. What's the matter?
Capt. Sav. But, sir, what instance of her preSpruce. Your sister
cious behaviour has come to your knowledge ? Bel. What of my sister?
For an hour has scarcely elapsed, since you Spruce. Sir, is eloped.
thought her a miracle of goodness. Bel. My sister !
Tor. Ay, he has thought her a miracle of goodSpruce. There is a letter left, sir, in which ness within this quarter of an hour. she says, that her motive was dislike to a match Gen. Sao. Why, she has a manner that would with captain Savage, as she has placed her af- impose upon all the world. fections unalterably on another gentleman. Capt. Sat. Yes, but she has a manner also to Bel. Death and damnation !
undeceive the world thoroughly. Spruce. Mrs Moreland, your mother, is in the Tor. That we have found pretty recently. greatest distress, sir, and begs you will imme- However, in this land of liberty, none are to be diately go with the servant that brought the mes pronounced guilty, 'till they are positively consage; for he, observing the young lady's maid victed: I can't, therefore, find against Miss Walcarrying some bundles out, a little suspiciously, singham, upon the bare strength of presumptive thought there must be some scheme going on, evidence. and dogged a hackney coach, in which Miss More- Capt. Sav. Presumptive evidence !-hav'n't I land went off, to the very house where it set her promised you ocular demonstration? down.
Tor. Ay, but till we receive this demonstraBel. Bring me to the servant, instantly--but tion, my good friend, we cannot give judgment. don't let a syllable of this matter reach my wife's Capt. Suv. Then I'll tell you at once, who is ears: her spirits are already too much agitated. the object of her honourable affections.
[Exit. Gen. Sao. Who—who? Spruce, Zounds! we shall be paid home for the Capt. Sav. What would you think if they were Ericks we have played in other families. [Exit. placed on Belville ?
Gen. Sao. Upon Belville! has she deserted to Maid. Sir, there's company in that room; you hiin from the corps of vircue?
in there. Capt. Sav. Yes, she wrote to him, desiring tu Bel. Now, that's the very reason I will go in. be taken from the masquerade to soine conve
Maid. This must be some great man, or he nieot scene of privacy; and, though I have seeu wou'dn't behave so obstropolous. the letter, she has the impudence to deny he: Bel. Good manners, by your leave a little. own hand.
Forcing the door.] Whoever my gentleman is, Gen. Sav. What a fiend is there then, disguised :'ll call him to a severe reckoning - I have just under the uniform of an angel !
been call’d to one myself, for making free with Tor. The delicate creature, that was dying wito another man's sister. confusion ! Capt. Sao. Only come with me to the masque
Enter LEESON, followed by CONNOLLY. rade, and you shall see Belville carry her off.
Lee. Who is it that dares commit an outrage 'Twas about the scandalous appointment with upon this apartinent? him I was speaking, when you conceived I treated Con. An Englishman's very lodging, ay, and an her so rudely.
Irishman's too, I hope, is his castle ;
:-an IrishGen. Suv. And you were only anxious to shew man is an Englishman all the world over. her in her real character to me, when I was so
Bel, Mr Leeson ! exceedingly offended with you?
Maid. O, we shall have murder ! (Running off. Cupt. Suv. Nothing else in the world, sir. I Con. Run into the room, my dear, and stay with knew you would despise and detest her, the mo- the young lady:
[Erit Maid. ment you were acquainted with her baseness. Lee. And, Connolly, let nobody else into that
Gen. Suv. How she brazenied it out before my face, and what a regard she affected for your in
Con. Let me alone for that, honey, if this genterest! I was a madman not to listen to your ex
tleman has fifty people. planation.
Lee. Whence is it, Mr Belville, that you perTor. Though you both talk this point well, I secute me thus with injuries? still see nothing but strong presumption against Bel. I am filled with astonishment! Miss Walsingham: Mistakes have already hap- Con. Faith, to speak the truth, you do look a pened, mistakes may happen again; and I will little surprised. not give up a lady's honour upon an evidence Lee. Answer me, sir, what is the foundation of that would not cast a comnion pickpocket at the this new violence? Oid Bailey.
Bel. I am come, Mr Leeson, upon an affair, Capt. Suv. Come to the masquerade then, and sirbe convinced.
Con. The devil burn ine, if he was half so much Gen. Sav. Let us detach a party for dresses confounded a while ago, when there was a naked immediately. Yet remember, Torrington, that sword at his breast ! the punctuality of evidence, which is necessary in
Bel. I am come, Mr Leeson, upon an affair, a court of law, is by no means requisite in a sir, that—How the devil shall I open to him, court of honour,
since the tables are so fairly turned upon me? Tor. Perhaps it would be more to the honour Lee. Dispatch, sir, for I have company in the of your honourable courts if it was. (Ereunt. next room.
Bel. A lady, I suppose?
Lee. Suppose it is, sir?
Bel. And the lady's name is Miss Moreland,
isn't it, sir? Belville behind, speaking to a maid. Lee. I can't see what business you have with Bel. My dear, you must excuse me.
her namne, sir. You took away my sister, and I Aluid. Indeed, sir, you must not go up stairs. hope you have no designs upon the lady in the
Bel. Indeed, but I will; the man is positive to next room? the house, and I'll search every room in it, from Bel. Indeed, but I have. the cellar to the garret, if I don't find the lady. Lee. The devil you have! James, don't stir from the street-door.
Con. We!l, this is the most unaccountable ma
I ever heard of: he'll have all the women in the Enter BELVILE, followed by the Maid. town, I believe.
Lee. And pray, sir, what pretensions have you Maid. Sir, you are the strangest gentleman I to the lady in the next room, even supposing her ever met with in ali my born days:- I wish my to be Miss Moreland? mistress was at home.
Bel. No other pretensions than what a brother Bel. I am a strange fellow, my dear-But if should have to the defence of his sister's honour: your mistress was at home, I should take the li-You thought yourself authorised to cut my throa berty of peeping iuto the apartments.
a while ago, in a similar business.
a swop of it!
Lee. And is Miss Moreland your sister? and save yourself the trouble of an expedition to
Bel. Sir, there is insolence in the question; you Scotland. know she is.
Lee. Can I believe you serious? Lee. By heaven, I did not know it till this mo- Bel. Zounds, Leeson, that air of surprise is a ment! but I rejoice at the discovery: This is blow sad reproach! I didn't surprise you, when I did for blow!
a bad action, but I raise your astonishment, when Con. Devil burn me but they have fairly made I do a good one.
Con. And by my soul, Mr Belville, if you knew Bel
. And you really didn't know that Miss how a good action becomes a man, you'd never Moreland was my sister?
do a bad one as long as you lived. Lee. I don't conceive myself under much ne- Lee. You have given me life and happiness in cessity of apologizing to you, sir; but I am inca- one day, Mr Belville! however, it is now time pable of a dishonourable design upon any wo you should see your sister. I know you will be man; and though Miss Moreland, in our short gentle with her, though you have so much reason acquaintance, repeatedly mentioned her brother, to condemn her choice, and generously rememshe never once told me, that his name was Bel- ber, that ber elopement proceeded from the great ville.
improbability there was of a beggar's ever meelCon. And he has had such few opportunities ing with the approbation of her family. of being in her company, unless by letters, honey, Bel. Don't apologize for your circumstances, that he knew nothing more of her connections, Leeson; a princess could do no more than make than her being a sweet pretty creature, and ha- you happy; and if you make her so, you mect her ving thirty thousand pounds.
upon terins of the most perfect equality. Bel. The fortune, I dare say, no way lessened Lee. This is a new way of thinking, Mr Belville. the force of her attractions.
Bel. 'Tis only an honest way of thinking; and Lee. I am above dissimulation-It really did I consider my sister a gainer on the occasion;
for a man of your merit is more difficult to be Bel. Well, Mr Leeson, our families have shewn found, than a woman of her fortune. such a very strong inclination to come together,
[Ereunt LEESON and BELVILLE. that it would really be a pity to disappoint them. Con. What's the reason now, that I can't skip,
Con. Upon my soul and so it would! though and laugh, and rejoice, at this affair? Upon my the dread of being forced to have a husband, the soul, my heart's as full as if I had met with some young lady tells us, quickened her resolution to great misfortune. Well
, pleasure in the extreme marry this gentleman.
is certainly a very painful thing; and I am really Bel. O she had no violence of that kind to ap- ashamed of these woman's drops, and yet I don't prehend from her family; therefore, Mr Leeson, know but that I ought to blush for being ashamsince you seem as necessary for the girl's happi-ed of them; for I am sure nobody's eye looks ever ness as she seems for yours, you shall marry her half so well, as when it is disfigured by a tear of here in town, with the consent of all her friends, humanity.
SCENE I.-A drawing-room.
shame you must feel, and the consequence you
must hazard. Upon my soul, if I struggle a litEnter BELVILLE.
tle longer, I shall rise in my own opinion, and be Bel. Well, happiness is once more mine, and less a rascal than I think myself:-Ah, but the the women are all going in tip-top spirits to the object is bewitching--the matter will be an etermasquerade. Now, Mr Belville, let me have a nal secret-and if it is known that I sneak in few words with you. Miss Wassingham, the ripe, this pitiful manner from a fine woman, when the the luxurious Miss Walsingham, expects to find whole elysium of her person solicits me !uell, you there burning with impatience-But, my and am I afraid the world should know that I dear friend, after the occurrences of the day, can have shrunk from an infamous action ?-A thogyou be weak enough to plunge into fresh crimes? sand blessings on you, dear conscience, for that Can you be base enough to abuse the goodness one argument-I shall be an honest man after of that angel your wife; and wicked enough, not all. Suppose, however, that I give her the meetonly to destroy the innocence, which is sheltered ing? that's dangerous—that's dangerous :—and beneath your own roof, but to expose your fami- I am so little accustomed to do what is right, that ly, perhaps, again to the danger of losing a son, a I shall certainly do what is wrong. the moment I brother, a father, and a husband? The posses-am in the way of temptation. Come, Belville, sion of the three Graces is surely too poor a re- your resolution is not so very slender a depen. compense for the folly you must commit, for the dence; and you owe Miss Walsinghain reparation for the injury which you have done her prin- day in the hospital, is, I suppose, a snug hundred ciples. I'll give her the meeting-I'll take her a-year. to the house I intended-I'll-Zounds! what a Ghast. Better than two; I wash for near four fool I have been all this time, to look for preca- thousand people : there was a major of horse rious satisfaction in vice, when there is such ex- who put in for it, and pleaded a large familyquisite pleasure to a certainty to be found in vir- Spruce. With long service, I suppose ? tue !
Ghast. Yes; but Mrs Tempest insisted upon
my long services ; so the inajor was set asideEnter Lady Rachel and Mrs BELVILLE.
However, to keep the thing from the damned Lady Rach. For mirth's sake, don't let himn see news-papers, I fancy he will succeed the barber, us: There has been a warm debate between his who died last night, poor woman, of a lying-inpassion and his conscience.
fever, after being brought to bed of three chilMirs Bel. And the latter is the conqueror, my dren.—Places in public institutions life for it.
Spruce. Are often sweetly disposed of : I Lady Rach. Dear Mrs Belville, you are the think of asking Belville for something, one of best of women, and ought to have the best of these days. husbands.
Ghast. He has great interest. Mrs Bel. I have the best of husbands.
Spruce. I night be a justice of peace, if I Lady Rach. I have not time to dispute the pleased, and in a shabby neighbourhood, where matter with you now; but I shall put you into the mere swearing would bring in something tomy comedy, to teach wives, that the best receipt lerable : but there are so many strange people for matrimonial happiness, is to be deaf, dumb, let into the commission now a-days, that I and blind.
shou’dn't like to have my name in the list. Mrs Bel. Poh, poh! you are are a satirist, Ghast. You are right. lady Rachel !- But we are losing time; should Spruce. No, no; I leave that to paltry tradesnot we put on our dresses, aud prepare for the men, and shall think of some little sinecure, or a grand scene?
small pension on the Irish establishment. Lady Rach. Don't you tremble at the trial? Ghast. Well, success attend you! I must
Mrs Bel. Not in the least; I am sure my hobble home as fast as I can, to know if Mrs heart has no occasion.
Tempest has any orders. 0, there's a rare Lady Rach. Have you let Miss Walsingham storm brewing for our old goat of a general ! into our little plot?
Spruce. When shall we crack a bottle togeMrs Bel. You know she could not be insensi-ther? ble of Mr Belville's design upon herself; and it Ghast. O, I shan't touch a glass of claret these it is no farther than that design, we have any three weeks; for last night I gave nature a little thing to carry into execution.
filip with a drunken bout, according to the docLady Rach. Well, she may serve to facilitate tor's directions. I have entirely left off bread, the matter; and, therefore, I am not sorry that and I am in great hopes that I shall get rid of you have trusted her.
the gout by these means, especially if I can learn Mrs Bel. We shall be too late; and, then, to eat my meat quite raw, like a cannibal. what signifies all your fine plotting?
Spruce. Ha, ha, ha! Lady Rach. Is it not a little pang of jealousy Ghust. Look at me, Spruce; I was once as that would fain quicken our motions?
likely a young fellow as any under ground in Mrs Bel. No, lady Rachel, it is a certainty of the whole parish of St James's :—but waiting on my husband's love and generosity, that makes me the general so many yearswish to come to the trial. I would not exchange Spruce. Ay, and following his example, Ghaste my confidence in his affection for all the mines ly? of Peru; so, nothing you can say can make me Ghast. 'Tis too true-has reduced me to what miserable.
These miserable spindles would do Lady Rach. You are a most unaccountable very well for a lord or a duke, Spruce; but they woman; so, away with you. [Exeunt. are a sad disgrace to a poor valet de chambre.
[Erit. Enter SPRUCE and GuaSTLY.
Spruce. Well, I don't believe there's a gentleSpruce. Why, Ghastly, the old general, your man's gentleman, within the weekly bills, who master, is a greater fool than I ever thought he joins a prudent solicitude for the main chance, was: He wants to marry Miss Walsingham. to a strict care of his constitution, better than
Ghast. Mrs Tempest suspected that there was myself. I have a little girl, who stands me in something going forward, by all his hugger-mug- about three guineas a week. I never bet more ger consulting with Mr Torrington : and so set than a pound upon a rubber of whist; I always mne on to listen.
sleep with my head very warm ; and swallow a Spruce. She's a good friend of yours; and that new-laid egg every morning with my chocolate. ibing she made the general give you the other
[Exit VOL. II.