. 6 6 Mafter, TH HE People, where I now am, have Tongues further from their Hearts than from London to Bantam, and thou knoweft the Inhabitants of one of thefe Places do not know what is done in the other. They call thee and thy Subjects Barbarians, because we fpeak what we mean; and account themselves a civilized People, because they fpeak one thing and mean another: Truth they call Barbarity, and Falfhood Politenefs. Upon my firft landing, one who was fent from the King of this Place to meet me, told me, "That he was extremely forry for the Storm I had met with just before my Arrival. I was troubled to hear him grieve and afflict himself upon my Account; but in lets than a Quarter of an Hour he fmiled, and was as merry as if nothing had happened. Another who came with him told me by my Interpreter, He should be glad to do me any Service that lay in his Power. Upon which I defir'd him to carry one of my Portmantuas for me, but instead of ferving me according to his Promife, he laughed, and bid another do it. I lodged, the firft Week, at the House of one who ⚫ defired me to think my self at home, and to confider his Houfe as my own. Accordingly, I the next Morning. began to knock down one of the Walls of it, in order to let in the fresh Air, and had packed up fome of the Houfhold-Goods, of which I intended to have ⚫ made thee a Prefent; But the falfe Varlet no fooner faw me falling to Work, but he fent Word to defire me to give over, for that he would have no fuch Doings in his Houfe. I had not been long in this Nation, before I was told by one, for whom I had asked a certain Favour from the Chief of the King's Servants, whom they here call the Lord-Treasurer, That I had eternally obliged him. I was fo furpris'd at this Gratitude, that I could not forbear faying, What Service is there which one Man can do for another, that can oblige him to all Eternity! However I only asked him, for my Reward, that he would lend me his eldeft Daughter during my Stay in this Country; but I quickly 6 6 6 6 6 quickly found that he was as treacherous as the rest of his Countrymen. AT my firft going to Court, one of the great Men almoft put me out of Countenance, by asking ten thoufand Pardons of me for only treading by Accident upon my Toe. They call this kind of Lye a Compliment; for when they .are Civil to a great Man, they tell him Untruths, for which thou wouldst or• der any of thy Officers of State to receive a hundred Blows upon his Foot. I do not know how I fhall negotiate any thing with this People, fince there is fo little Credit to be given to them. When I go to fee the King's Scribe, I am generally told that he is not at home, tho' perhaps I saw him go into his 'House almoft the very Moment before. Thou wouldest fancy that the whole Nation are Phyficians, for the firft Question they always ask me, is, How I do: I have this Queftion put to me above a hundred times a Day. Nay, they are not only thus inquifitive after my Health, but wifh it in a more folemn Manner, with a full Glafs in their Hands, every time I fit with ⚫ them at Table, tho' at the fame time they would perfuade me to drink their Liquors in fuch Quantities as I have found by Experience will make me fick. They ' often pretend to pray for thy Health alfo in the fame Manner; but I have more Reason to expect it from 'the Goodness of thy Conftitution, than the Sincerity ' of their Wishes. May thy Slave escape in Safety from this double-tongued Race of Men, and live to lay ' himself once more at thy Feet in thy Royal City of Bantam. Wednesday, N° 558. Wednesday, June 23. Qui fit, Mecenas, ut nemo, quam fibi fortem Cetera de genere hoc (adeò funt multa) loquacem Hor. T is a celebrated Thought of Socrates, that if all the Misfortunes of Mankind were caft into a publick Stock, in order to be equally distributed among the whole Species, thofe who now think themselves the most unhappy, would prefer the Share they are already poffefs'd of, before that which would fall to them by fuch a Divifion. Horace has carried this Thought a great deal further in the Motto of my Paper, which implies that the Hardships or Misfortunes we lie under, are more eafy to us than thofe of any other Per. fon would be, in cafe we. could change Conditions with him. AS I was ruminating on these two Remarks, and feated in my Elbow-Chair, I infenfibly fell asleep; when when on a fudden, methought, there was a Proclamation made by Jupiter, that every Mortal fhould bring in his Griefs and Calamities, and throw them together in a Heap. There was a large Plain appointed for this Purpose. I took my Stand in the Centre of it, and faw with a great deal of Pleasure the whole human Species marching one after another, and throwing down their feveral Loads, which immediately grew up into a prodigious Mountain, that feemed to rife above the Clouds. THERE was a certain Lady of a thin airy Shape, who was very active in this Solemnity. She carried a magnifying Glafs in one of her Hands, and was clothed in a loofe flowing Robe, embroidered with feveral Figures of Fiends and Spectres, that difcovered themfelves in a thoufand chimerical Shapes, as her Garment hovered in the Wind. There was fomething wild and diftracted in her Looks. Her Name was FANCY. She led up every Mortal to the appointed Place, after having very officioufly affifted him in making up his Pack, and laying it upon his Shoulders. My Heart melted within me to see my Fellow-Creatures groning under their refpective Burdens, and to confider that prodigious Bulk of human Calamities which lay before me. THERE were however feveral Perfons who gave me great Diverfion upon this Occafion. I obferved one bringing in a Fardel very carefully concealed under an old embroidered Cloke, which, upon his throwing it into the Heap, I difcovered to be Poverty. Another, after a great deal of Puffing, threw down his Luggage, which, upon examining, I found to be his Wife. THERE were Multitudes of Lovers faddled with very whimsical Burdens compofed of Darts and Flames ; but, what was very odd, tho' they fighed as if their Hearts would break under thefe Bundles of Calamities, they could not perfuade themselves to caft them into the Heap, when they came up to it; but after a few faint Efforts, hook their Heads and marched away, as heavy loaden as they came. I faw Multitudes of old Women throw down their Wrinkles, and feveral young 5 young ones who ftripped themselves of a tawny Skin. There were very great Heaps of red Nofes, large Lips, and rufty Teeth. The Truth of it is, I was furpris'd to fee the greatest Part of the Mountain made up of bodily Deformities. Obferving one advancing towards the Heap, with a larger Cargo than ordinary upon his Back, I found upon his near Approach, that it was only a natural Hump, which he difpofed of, with great Joy of Heart, among this Collection of human Miferies. There were likewife Distempers of all Sorts, tho' I could not but obferve, that there were many more imaginary than real. One little Packet I could not but take notice of, which was a Complication of all the Difeafes incident to human Nature, and was in the Hand of a great many fine People: This was called the Spleen. But what most of all furpris'd me, was a Remark I made, that there was not a fingle Vice or Folly thrown into the whole Heap; At which I was very much aftonifhed, having concluded within my felf, that every one would take this Opportunity of getting rid of his Paffions, Prejudices, and Frailties. I took notice in particular of a very profligate Fellow, who I did not queftion came loaden with his Crimes, but upon fearching into his Bundle, I found that instead of throwing his Guilt from him, he had only laid down his Memory. He was followed by ancther worthless Rogue who flung away his Modeity inftead of his Ignorance. WHEN the whole Race of Mankind had thus caft their Burdens, the Phantome which had en fo bufy on this Occafion, feeing me an idle Spectator of what paffed, approached towards me. I grew uneafy at her Prefence, when of a fudden fhe held her magnifying Glafs full before my Eyes. I no fooner faw my Face in it, but was ftartled at the Shortness of it, which now appeared to me in its utmoft Aggravation. The immoderate Breadth of the Features made me very much out of Humour with my own Countenance, upon which I threw it from me like a Mask. It hap pened very luckily, that one who ftood by me had juft |