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SESSIONS WIT.-On the trial of two ruffians, at the Kirkdale Sessions, lately, for robbing Mr. Boulter at the Liverpool races, the following colloquy occurred during the cross-examination of the prosecutor, by Mr. Raincock, who was counsel for one of the prisoners :— Mr. R. You were formerly an harlequin, I believe?—Mr. B. No, sir. -Mr. R. Oh! but you did play the Clown at the Circus?—Mr. B. Yes, sometimes.-Mr. R. Then take care, sir, you don't make a fool of yourself here.—Mr. B. I think, sir, there are two of us who ought to be on that look out to-day.—(Loud laughter; and, it is almost needless to add, an end to the cross-examination.)

SLEEPING IN CHURCH.-On a Sunday evening lately, a lad of the name of Barrett repaired, at the commencement of divine service, to Topsham church: alone, snugly housed in a comfortable pew, and neither properly impressed with the sanctity of the place, nor the importance to himself and others of the proceedings in it, he soon yielded to the influence of the sleepy god, and in the arms of Morpheus dismissed all care both for this world and the next. The remainder of the congregation very properly performed their duty, and were dismissed by the minister, neither prayers nor praises having disturbed the sleeper. The sexton locked up all, and took his departure. How long Barrett's had lasted is unknown, save that the pale moon ever and anon, as the passing clouds receded from its face, threw a flickering light through the arched windows, which were as quickly again immersed in darkness. All hope of relief vanished, as neither voice nor step saluted his ear: determining, therefore, to make the best of his situation, he hied to the pulpit, put the cushion in order, and slept soundly until day-light. He had now no difficulty at getting at the bellrope, and he pulled away most lustily: the inhabitants in great alarm repaired to the church-yard: here the mystery became greater,

and the trembling sexton stood amongst them with the keys: that some inhabitant of the tomb had "burst his cerement" there could be no doubt, for the bell continued to ring with unabated violence. After much serious and fearful deliberation, some, more courageous than the rest, determined of having a peep through the windows. Accordingly, formidably backed and bolstered, they mounted, when young Barrett was espied pursuing his avocation at the rope. A hearty laugh relieved the fears of those below; the sexton's wonted boldness came again; the door was unlocked, and the youth restored to liberty.

THE WELCOME POACHERS.-Two gentlemen, who had liberty to shoot on the grounds surrounding Lord Eldon's estate, happened un intentionally to encroach a little way on the latter: the gamekeeper insisted that the gentlemen should appear before his lordship, to answer for the misdemeanor. They were ushered into the presence of the proprietor, who accosted them with the greatest civility, and begged they would be seated on hearing the tale of the domestic, and the assurances of the gentlemen having unintentionally encroached, his lordship rang the bell, ordered the wine and other refreshments to be brought, requested the gentlemen to partake, entered into conversation, and on their retiring assured them that if they came that way again they were perfectly welcome to a shot, even should they trespass.

WHITE BLOOD.-Mr. G-t, a gentleman of fortune, residing in Portland Place, fell in love with the late Princess Charlotte of Wales; and so earnest was he to obtain her in marriage, that he became insane. His family and friends became alarmed for his personal safety; and fearful lest he should commit suicide, placed him under

the care of a physician, who directed, without loss of time, that he should be freely blooded. To this, after repeated attempts, he would never accede. However, the pupil of one of the physicians hearing of the circumstance, hit upon an expedient, and engaged to bleed Mr. G. The plan was laid out, and Mr. G. introduced to the young gentleman, who stated he was the bearer of a message from the princess, and requested to see Mr. G. in private. No sooner was this information received than the pupil was shewn up to the drawing-room. Mr. G. cautiously shut all the doors, and with great impatience requested the stranger to divulge, without loss of time, what he had to say from the princess. "Why, you must know, sir," said he, "we must be particularly cautious. I am deputed by the princess to inform you that she would give you her hand in marriage, but she is prohibited from so doing in consequence of the King, her father, being informed that you possess white blood in your veins, instead of red." "Good God!" exclaimed Mr. G. "if that is the case, pray let me be bled immediately, that her Royal Highness may be convinced to the contrary.” He was bled, and recovered his mental faculties.

POOR MAN OF MUTTON.-Dr. Jamieson, the lexicographer of Scotland, explains that "this is a term applied to the remains of a shoulder of mutton, which, after it has done its duty as a roast at dinner, makes its appearance as a broiled bone at supper, or upon the next day." The Doctor gives the following anecdote in illustration :"The late Earl of B. popularly known by the name of Old Rag, being indisposed in a hotel in London, the landlord came to enumerate the good things he had in his larder, to prevail on his guest to eat something. The Earl at length, starting suddenly from his couch, and throwing back a tartan night-gown, which had covered his singularly grim and ghastly face, replied to his host's courtesy, Landlord, I think I

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