"If I may be so bold, my dear honey," said he, "may I ask how long you have been in this country?" The negro man, who had only come hither on a voyage, said he had been in Philadelphia only about four months. Poor Pat turned round to his wife and children, and looking as if for the last time on their rosy cheeks, concluding that in four months they must also change their complexion, exclaimed, "O merciful powers! Biddy, did you hear that? he has not been more than four months in this country, and he is already almost as black as jet.”

INDUSTRY REWARDED.-A proud Welch 'squire took it into his head to be very angry with a poor curate, who employed his leisure hours in mending clocks and watches, and actually applied to Dr. Shipley, bishop of St. Asaph, with a formal complaint against him, for impiously carrying on a trade. His lordship having heard the complaint, told the 'squire he might depend upon it that the strictest justice should be done in the case: accordingly the mechanic-divine was sent for a few days after, when the bishop asked him " How he dared to disgrace his diocese, by becoming a mender of clocks and watches?" The other with all humility answered, "To satisfy the wants of a wife and ten children !" "That won't do with me," rejoined the prelate; "I'll inflict such a punishment on you as shall make you leave off your pitiful trade, I promise you ;" and immediately calling in his secretary, ordered him to make out a presentation for the astonished curate to a living of at least 150l. per annum.

VALUE OF GREATNESS.-Mr. Pope was with Sir Godfrey Kneller one day, when his nephew, a Guinea trader, came in. Nephew," said Sir Godfrey, "you have the honour of seeing the two greatest men in the world.”—“ I don't know how great you may be,” said the Guineaman, "but I don't like your looks: I have often bought a

man much better than both of you together, all muscles and bone, for ten guineas."

A DEAD SLEEP.-A tradesman of Lyons, of the name of Grivet, was, during the reign of terror in France, sentenced to death. He was brought into the cave of the condemned, where there were several others, who with him were to suffer the next morning. On his arrival they pressed round him, to sympathize in his fate, and fortify him for the stroke he was about to encounter. But Grivet was calm

and composed. "Come and sup with us," said they; "this is the last inn in the journey of life; to-morrow we shall arrive at our long home." Grivet accepted the invitation, supped heartily, and then retiring to the most remote corner of the cave, buried himself in the straw, and went to sleep. The morning arrived; the other prisoners were tied together, and led away to execution without Grivet's perceiving any thing, or being perceived. He was fast asleep. The door of the cave was locked, and when he awoke he was astonished to find himself in perfect solitude. Four days passed without any new prisoners being brought in, (a rare occurrence !) during which Grivet subsisted on some provisions which he found scattered about the cave. On the evening of the fourth day the turnkey brought in a new prisoner, and was thunderstruck on seeing a man, or, as he almost believed it, a spirit in the cave. He called the sentinels, and having interrogated Grivet, found that he had been left in the cave four days ago. He hastened to the tribunal to excuse himself for what had happened. Grivet was summoned before it. It was a moment of lenity with the judges, and Grivet was set at liberty.

PLYMOUTH LIGHT-HOUSE.-A lady came up one day to the keeper of the light-house near Plymouth, which is a great curiosity." I

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want to see the light-house," said the lady. "You cannot," was the reply. "Do you know who I am, sir?"-" No, madam."-" I am the captain's lady.”. If you were his wife, madam," said the blunt you could not see it without his orders."

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: THE STAFFORDSHIRE COLLIERIES.-Many anecdotes might be collected to shew the great difficulty of discovering a person in the collieries without being in possession of his nickname. The following was received from a respectable attorney:-During his clerkship he was sent to serve some legal process on a man whose name and address were given to him with legal accuracy. He traversed the village to which he had been directed from end to end, without success, and after spending many hours in the search was about to abandon 7 it in despair, when a young woman who had witnessed his labours kindly undertook to make inquiries for him, and began to hail her friends for that purpose. "Oi say, Bullyed, does thee know a man neamed Adam Green?" The Bull-head was shaken in sign of ignorance. "Loy-a-bed, does thee?" Lie-a-bed's opportunities of making acquaintance had been rather limited, and she could not resolve the difficulty. Stumpy (a man with a wooden leg), Cowskin, Spindleshanks, Corkeye, Pig-tail, and Yellowbelly, were severally invoked, but in vain, and the querist fell into a brown study, in which she remained for some time. At length, however, her eyes suddenly brightened, and slapping one of her companions on the shoulder, she exclaimed triumphantly, "Dash my wig! whoy he means my feyther!" and then, turning to the gentleman, she added, "You should ha' ax'd for Ould Blackbird!"

IRISH AND ENGLISH ROADS.-An Englishman asked an Irishman if the roads in Ireland were good. "Yes," said the Irishman, " so excel

lent that I wonder you do not import some of them into England. We have the road to love strewed with roses; the road to matrimony through nettles; the road to honour through a duel; the road to prison through the courts of law; and the road to the undertaker's through the apothecary's shop." "Have you any road to preferment?" "No," said the Irishman, "not now-that road since the Union is removed to England: you pass through it to the king's palace, and I am told it is the dirtiest road in Great-Britain."

THE WIFE OF TWO HUSBANDS.-The sailing-master of a vessel belonging to a port on the east coast of Scotland was on a voyage to the Mediterranean captured by the Algerines, and detained in slavery for eleven years; five of these employed at hard labour, with a bullet 11lbs. weight fettered to one of his ancles,-till happily released from so painful a situation in consequence of the celebrated chastisement inflicted on these barbarians by Admiral Lord Exmouth. Returning to his native town, disguised in tattered apparel, a toil-worn countenance, &c. he learnt that his wife, after passing ten years in supposed widowhood (ship, cargo, and crew, being conjectured to have perished at sea,) had married a second husband, and that a son, left apprentice to the book-binding business, kept a bookselling and stationery shop, in which he was assisted by a daughter. The liberated captive sought out and entered the shop, and on pretence of being recommended to a bed, invited himself home with them in the evening, and there found his Jean and her new husband enjoying themselves around the domestic hearth. After some circumlocution and preparing the way, he inquired (naming his wife) if such a woman still lived in the place, for if she did, he had some intelligence of her husband to communicate. This question, under the present circumstances of the family, rather alarmed than pleased, and caused

the stranger to be looked upon with suspicion, as meaning to impose on them. At length, assuming the well-known look and tone of undiminished affection, he appealed to his Jean if she did not recognize him under all his concealment. The appeal was not made in vain; the recognition was on both sides tender and affecting. On being asked to which of the two husbands she chose to attach herself, the "wife of two husbands" emphatically exclaimed that Willie (the first husband) had been the betrothed of her youth-her first love, and the parent of her children; and now that he was as it were restored to her from the dead, her choice was to be his for life and death. The second husband having had it put in his option, by the real gude man, to appropriate what he could justly claim, acted extremely honorably, choosing nothing but a gold watch he himself had presented to the supposed widow when he wedded her; and on its being restored left the house, town, and that district of the country, never since having been either seen or heard of. The prominent actor in this little drama has now a vessel of his own, and is occasionally in the habit, in pursuance of his marine occupation, of visiting the port of Perth, and tells the tale of his romantic adventures as it really occurred, with original simplicity.

COOKERY-BOOK.-"Has that cookery-book any pictures?" said Miss M. C. to a bookseller. "No, madam, none," was the answer. Why!" exclaimed the witty and beautiful young lady, "what is the use of telling us how to make a good dinner if they give us no plates?"

PETER THE GREAT.-The following is a striking instance of the intrepidity and presence of mind of this great man :-During the rebellion of the Strelitz, a company of soldiers, under the command of two of their officers, Sikell and Sukawnin, had resolved to assassi