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they have appeared to be-I am in love. PSdeath, I am quite ashamed of myself.
Love. Asham’d! Love is a noble passion. But don't tell me any more about it-my Lady Constant will find it out, and lay the blame to me, I must not appear to encourage you—no, no-you must not involve me in a quarrel with her.
Sir Bash. Pshaw !--you don't take me right-quite wide of the mark-hear me out.
Love. I won't-indeed, I won't !-
shallLove. Positively no !-Let me keep clear.--She shall certainly know it, and the devil's in the dice if she does not comply with my desires from mere spirit of . revenge.
[ Aside. Sir Bash. I tell you, Mr. Lovemore-the object of my passion-[leading him back]—this charming woman, on whom I doat to distraction
Love, Adon't desire to know it.
Sir Jeash. You must, you must; this adorable creature
Love. Keep it to yourself, Sir Bashful.
Sir Bash. But you shall know-is-this fine woman, is-my own wife. Love. Your own wife!
Stares at him. Sir Bash. [Looks silly, blushes, and turns away from him.] Yes, my own wife.
Love. This is the most unexpected discovery
Sir Bash. (Fidling and biting his nails.) Look ye there now--he laughs at me already!
[Aside. Love. And can this be possible ?--Are you really in love with my Lady Constant ?-your own wife!
Sir Bash. Spare my confusion, Mr. Lovemore; spare my confusion.--Ay, it's all over with me.
Love. I should never have guess'd this, Sir Bashful.
Sir Bush. I have made myself very ridiculous, Mr. Lovemore: (Looks at him and drops his eyes.] I know I have.
Love. Ridiculous !_far from it-Why, do you think it ridiculous to love a valuable woman? Po! Po!-cheer up, nran--and now to keep you in countenance I'll deposit a secret with you- I love my wife.
Sir Bash. What !
Love. Upon my honour !
hand-Give me your
hand! He, he, he !- I am glad to know this!
Love. I love her most sincerely—But then I never let her know it-no-nor I would not have the world know it, and therefore I have led the life I have done on purpose to conceal it.
Sir Bash. You are right, Mr. Lovemore-perfectly right-I have quarrell'd with my lady on purpose to cloak the affair, and prevent all suspicion.
Love. That was right; you should keep to that.
Sir Bash. So I intend-but I have done a thousand kindnesses in the mean time.
Love. Have ye?
Sir Bash. Ay, a thousand-She has been plaguing me this long time for a diamond cross, and diamond shoe-buckles-madam, says I, I'll hear of no such trumpery-But then goes me I, and bespeaks them directly of the best jeweller in town, will come to three hundred-She'll have 'em this day, without knowing where they come from.
Love. Sly, sly. He! he!
Sir Bash. Let me alone ; I know what I'm aboutAnd then, Mr. Lovenore, to cover this design-Ha! ha! I can take occasion to be as jealous as Bedlam, when I see her wear all her diamond baubles.
Love. So you can-I wish he may never be jealous of me in earnest.
[Aside. Sir Bash. Well, well-give us your hand-give us your hand-my dear brother sufferer-I'll tell you what, Mr. Lovemore-we can, in a sly way, do each other great service, if you will come into
scheme. Love. As how, pray?
Sir Bash. I'll tell you—There are some things, which you know our wives expect to be done
Love. What is he at now? [Aside.] So they do, Sir Bashful.
Sir Bash. Now, if you will assist me
Sir Bash. Look ye, Mr. Lovemore, my Lady Coństant wants money“You know she keeps a great deal of company, and makes a great figure there I could show my wife, Mr. Lovemore, in any company in Eng. land; I wish she could say the same of me.
Love. Why truly, I wish she could.
Sir Bash. But I had not those early advantages Now you know I can't in reason be seen to give her money myself, so I would have you take the mouey
of me, and pretend to lend it to her yourself, out of friend. ship and regard.
Love. Why you're a very Machiavel-nothing was ever better contrived-Here's a fellow pimping for his own horns.
[Aside. Sir Bash. Here, here, here-take the money-here it is in bank notes,-One, two, three-there's three hundred pounds-give her that-give her that, Mr. Lovemore
Love. I will—This is the rarest adventure! [Aside. Sir Bash. I'll do any thing for your wife in retura
Love. Why I may have occasion for your friendship, Sir Bashful--that is to forgive me if ever you find me out.
[Aside. Sir Bash. You may always command me-well, lose no time, she's above stairs-Step to her now, and make
Love. I'll do my endeavour, that you may rely upon I'll make her easy, if possible.
Sir Bash. That's kind, that's kind !-Well, ha! ha! ha! Mr. Lovemore, is not this a rare scheme? Ha! ha! ha!
Love. 'Tis the newest way of making a wife easy Ha! ha! ha!
Sir Bash. Ay, ay, let this head of mine alone.Ha! ha! Love. That I won't, if I can help it.
[Exit LOVEMORE. Sir Bash. Prosper you, prosper you, Mr. Lovemore ! It is the luckiest thing in the world to have so good a friend! make me thankful !-he is a true friend. [Sir BRILLIANT within.] Hist-Did not I hear a noise ?-Is not that Sir Brilliant's voice ?-I hope they won't let him in-I gave
orders I would not be at home--Zookers ! they are letting him in-He shan't see my lady for all that-Shan't interrupt business.
Enter Sir BRILLIANT. Sir Bril. Sir Bashful, I kiss your band; I rejoice to see you. And my lady, how does she do? Is she at
Sir Bash. Do you think I have nothing to do but to know whether she is at home or not? I don't trouble my head about her, sir,
Sir Bril. Po! never talk so slightingly of so agreeable a woman-My Lady Constant has spirit, taste, sense, wit, beauty
Sir Bash. Spirit, taste, sense, wit, beauty!-She has all that sure enough. [Aside.] Sir, I am no sworn ap. praiser to take an inventory of her effects, and set a just value upon them, I don't know what she has.
Sir Bril. Is her ladyship visible this morning ?
Sir Bash. No, sir, she is invisible this morning-and unintelligible this morning-and incomprehensible this morning-She is not well-she has the vapours-She can't be spoke too
Sir Bril. I'm sorry for it-I came to tell her the rarest piece of news—such a discovery!
Sir Bush. Ay, what's that?
Sir Bash. What's the matter? Has he been bubbled at play?
Sir Bril. Worse, much worse.
almost as bad though. Sir Bash. He's fallen in love with some coquette,
may be ?
Sir Bril. No.
Sir Bril. No, you'll never guess—Like a silly devil, he has fallen in love with his own wife. Ha! ha!
Sir Bash. In love with his own wife! [Stares at him.
Sir Bril. Ha! ha! In love with his own wife-I heard it at my Lady Betty Scandal's—there was such laughing, and so much raillery-my dear Sir Bashful, don't you enjoy it? Ha! ha! It's so ridiculous an affair—Is it not, Sir Bashful?
Sir Bash. Ha! ha!-Oh, ay, very ridiculous indeed! Ha! ha!—nothing can be more pleasant!--Zoons! it's my own case directly!