Capt. Abs. Has universally the character of being an accomplished gentleman, and a man of honour. Well, that's handsome enough.

$0.

Mrs. M. Oh, the fellow has some design in writing.

Capt. Abs. That he had, I'll answer for him, ma'am. Mrs. M. But go on, sir-you'll see presently. Capt. Abs. As for the old weather-beaten she-dragon, who guards you-Who can he mean by that?

do

Mrs. M. Me, sir-me-he means me there—what think now?-but go on a little further. Capt. Abs. Impudent scoundrel!—it shall

you

go

hard but I will elude her vigilance; as I am told that the same ridiculous vanity which makes her dress up her coarse features, and deck her dull chat with hard words which she don't understand

Mrs. M. There, sir, an attack upon my language! what do you think of that?—an aspersion upon my parts of speech! was ever such a brute! Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world, it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs. Capt. Abs. He deserves to be hanged and quartered! let me see—same ridiculous vanity.

Mrs. M. You need not read it again, sir!

Capt. Abs. I beg pardon, ma'am-does also lay her open to the grossest deceptions from flattery and pretended admiration—an impudent coxcomb !-so that I have a scheme to see you shortly, with the old Harridan's consent, and even to make her a go-between in our interviews. Was ever such assurance!

Mrs. M. Did you ever hear any thing like it!He'll elude my vigilance, will he?-yes, yes!—ha! ha! he's very likely to enter these doors!-we'll try who can plot best.

Capt. Abs. So we will, ma'am-so we will.-Ha! ha! ha! a conceited puppy! ha! ha! ha!-Well, but Mrs. Malaprop, as the girl seems so infatuated by

this fellow, suppose you were to wink at her corresponding with him for a little time-let her even plot an elopement with him-then do you connive at her escape-while I, just in the nick, will have the fellow laid by the heels, and fairly contrive to carry her off in his stead.

Mrs. M. I am delighted with the scheme; never was any thing better perpetrated!

Capt. Abs. But, pray, could not I see the lady for a few minutes now?-I should like to try her temper a little.

Mrs. M. Why, I don't know—I doubt she is not prepared for a visit of this kind.-There is a decorum in these matters.

Capt. Abs. O Lord, she won't mind me!-only tell her, Beverley

Mrs. M. Sir!

Capt.bs. Gently, good tongue!

Mrs. M. What did you say of Beverley?

[Aside.

Capt. Abs. Oh, I was going to propose that you should tell her, by way of jest, that it was Beverley who was below-she'd come down fast enough thenha! ha! ha!

Mrs. M. 'Twould be a trick she well deserves-besides, you know the fellow tells her he'll get my consent to see her-ha! ha!-Let him, if he can, I say again.-Lydia, come down here! [Calling.] He'll make me a go-between in their interviews!-ha! ha! ha! Come down, I say, Lydia!-I don't wonder at your laughing-ha! ha! ha! his impudence is truly ridiculous!

Capt. Abs. 'Tis very ridiculous, upon my soul, ma'am ! -ha! ha! ha!

Mrs. M. The little hussy won't hear.-Well, I'll go and tell her at once who it is-she shall know that Captain Absolute is come to wait on her. And I'll make her behave as becomes a young woman.

Capt. Abs. As you please, ma'am.

Mrs. M. For the present, Captain, your servantAh, you've not done laughing yet, I see-elude my vigilance! yes, yes-Ha! ha! ha! [Exit.

Capt. Abs. Ha! ha! ha! one would think, now, that I might throw off all disguise at once, and seize my prize with security-but such is Lydia's caprice, that, to undeceive, were probably to lose her. I'll see whether she knows me.

[Walks aside, and seems engaged in looking at the pictures.

Enter LYDIA.

Lydia. What a scene am I now to go through! surely nothing can be more dreadful than to be obliged to listen to the loathsome addresses of a stranger to one's heart. I have heard of girls persecuted, as I am, who have appealed, in behalf of their favoured lover, to the generosity of his rival: suppose I were to try it-there stands the hated rival-an officer too!-but, oh, how unlike my Beverley !—I wonder he don't begin-truly, he seems a very negligent wooer!-quite at his ease, upon my word!—I'll speak first-Mr. Absolute! Capt. Abs. Ma'am !

Lydia. O heavens! Beverley!

[Turns round.

Capt. Abs. Hush!-hush, my life!-softly! be not surprised!

Lydia. I am so astonished! and so terrified! and so overjoyed!—for heaven's sake, how came you here? Capt. Abs. Briefly-I have deceived your aunt-I was informed that my new rival was to visit here this evening, and, contriving to have him kept away, have passed myself on her for Captain Absolute.

for

Lydia. Oh, charming!-And she really takes you young Absolute?

Capt. Abs. Oh, she's convinced of it.

Lydia. Ha ha! ha! I can't forbear laughing, to think how her sagacity is over-reached!

Capt. Abs. But we trifle with our precious moments -such another opportunity may not occur-then let me now conjure my kind, my condescending angel, to fix the time when I may rescue her from undeserving persecution, and, with a licensed warmth, plead for my reward.

Lydia. Will you then, Beverley, consent to forfeit that portion of my paltry wealth ?-that burden on the wings of love?

Capt. Abs. Oh, come to me-rich only thus-in loveliness!-Bring no portion to me but thy love-'twill be generous in you, Lydia-for well you know, it is the only dower your poor Beverley can repay.

Lydia. How persuasive are his words!-how charming will poverty be with him!

Enter MRS. MALAPROP, listening.

Mrs. M. I am impatient to know how the little hussy deports herself. [Aside. Capt. Abs. So pensive, Lydia!-is then your warmth

abated?

Mrs. M. Warmth abated?-so!-she has been in a passion, I suppose.

Lydia. No-nor ever can, while I have life.

Mrs. M. An ill-temper'd little devil!-She'll be in a passion all her life-will she?

Lydia. Let her choice be Captain Absolute, but Beverley is mine.

Mrs. M. I am astonished at her assurance!-to his face this to his face!

Capt. Abs. Thus, then, let me enforce my suit.

[Kneeling. Mrs. M. Ay-poor young man!-down on his knees, entreating for pity!-I can contain no longer.-Why, thou vixen! I have overheard you.

Capt. Abs. Oh, confound her vigilance!

[Aside.

Mrs. M. Captain Absolute-I know not how to apologize for her shocking rudeness.

Capt. Abs. So-all's safe, I find. [Aside.] I have hopes, madam, that time will bring the young lady

Mrs. M. Q, there's nothing to be hoped for from her! she's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Lydia. Nay, madam, what do you charge me with now?

Mrs. M. Why, thou unblushing rebel-didn't you tell this gentleman to his face, that you loved another better?-didn't you say you never would be his? Lydia. No, madam-I did not.

Mrs. M. Good heavens, what assurance!-Lydia, Lydia, you ought to know that lying don't become a young woman!-Didn't you boast that Beverley-that stroller, Beverley-possessed your heart?-Tell me that, I say.

Lydia. 'Tis true, ma'am, and none but BeverleyMrs. M. Hold!—hold, assurance !—you shall not be so rude.

Capt. Abs. Nay, pray, Mrs. Malaprop, don't stop the young lady's speech :—she's very welcome to talk thus -it does not hurt me in the least, I assure you.

Mrs. M. You are too good, Captain-too amiably patient; but come with me, miss-let us see you again soon, Captain-remember what we have fixed. Capt. Abs. I shall, ma'am.

Mrs. M. Come, take a graceful leave of the gentle

man.

Lydia. May every blessing wait on my Beverley, my loved Bev

Mrs. M. Hussy! I'll choak the word in your throat! -Come along-come along.

[Exeunt severally-CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE kissing

his hand to LYDIA, MRS. MALAPROP Stopping her from speaking.