tion-and I am myself the only dupe at last! [Walking about in a heat.]-But here, sir, here is the pictureBeverley's picture! [Taking a miniature from her bosom.] which I have worn, night and day, in spite of threats and entreaties! There, sir, [Flings it to him] and be assured, I throw the original from my heart as easily.

Capt. Abs. Nay, nay, ma'am, we will not differ as to that here, [Taking out a picture.] here is Miss Lydia Languish-what a difference!-ay, there is the heavenly assenting smile, that first gave soul and spirit to my hopes!-those are the lips, which sealed a vow, as yet scarce dry in Cupid's calendar ;—and there the half resentful blush, that would have checked the ardour of my thanks.-Well, all that's past ;-all over indeed! There, madam-in beauty, that copy is not equal to you, but in my mind, its merit over the original, in being still the same, is such-that-I cannot find in my heart to part with it. [Puts it up again.

Lydia. [Softening.] 'Tis your own doing, sir-I, I, I suppose you are perfectly satisfied.

Capt. Abs. Oh, most certainly-sure now, this is much better than being in love!-ha! ha! ha!—there's some spirit in this! What signifies breaking some scores of solemn promises ;—all that's of no consequence, you know. To be sure people will say, that Miss didn't know her own mind-but never mind that: -or, perhaps, they may be ill-natured enough to hint, that the gentleman grew tired of the lady, and forsook her-but don't let that fret you.

Lydia. There's no bearing this insolence!

[Bursts into tears.

Enter Mrs. MALAPROP and SIR ANTHONY.

Mrs. M. [Entering.] Come, we must interrupt your

billing and cooing awhile.

Lydia. This is worse than your treachery and deceit,

you base ingrate.

VOL. II.

G

[Sobbing.

Sir Anth. What the devil's the matter now !—Z—ds! Mrs. Malaprop, this is the oddest billing and cooing I ever heard!—but what the deuce is the meaning of it? -I'm quite astonished!

Capt. Abs. Ask the lady, sir.

Mrs. M. Oh, mercy!-I'm quite analys'd, for my part!-why, Lydia, what is the reason of this? Lydia. Ask the gentleman, ma'am.

Sir Anth. Z-ds! I shall be in a phrensy!-why, Jack, you are not come out to be any one else, are you? Mrs. M. Ay, sir, there's no more trick, is there? -you are not, like Cerberus, three gentlemen at once, are you?

Capt. Abs. You'll not let me speak-I say the lady can account for this much better than I can.

Lydia. Ma'am, you once commanded me never to think of Beverley again-there is the man-I now obey you:-for, from this moment, I renounce him for ever. [Exit LYDIA.

Mrs. M. O mercy and miracles! what a turn here is -why sure, Captain, you haven't behaved disrespectfully to my niece?

Sir Anth. Ha! ha! ha!-ha! ha! ha!-now I see it -Ha! ha ha!-now I see it-you have been too lively, Jack.

Capt. Abs. Nay, sir, upon my word

Sir Anth. Come, no lying, Jack-I'm sure 'twas so. Mrs. Olud! Sir Anthony !-O fie, Captain! Capt. Abs. Upon my soul, ma'am

Sir Anth. Come, no excuses, Jack;-why your father, you rogue, was so before you :-the blood of the Absolutes was always impatient.-Ha! ha! ha! poor little Lydia!-why you've frightened her, you dog, you have!

Capt. Abs. By all that's good, sir————

Sir Anth. Zds! say no more, I tell you-Mrs. Malaprop shall make your peace.-You must make

his peace, Mrs. Malaprop:-you must tell her, 'tis Jack's way-tell her, 'tis all our ways-it runs in the blood of our family!-Come, away, Jack, ha! ha! ha! Mrs. Malaprop-a young villain!

[Pushes him out.

Mrs. M. Oh, Sir Anthony!-O fie, Captain!

[Exeunt severally.

Scene III.-The North Parade.

Enter SIR LUCIUS O'TRIGger.

Sir L. I wonder where this Captain Absolute hides himself. Upon my conscience!-these officers are always in one's way, in love affairs:-I remember I might have married Lady Dorothy Carmine, if it had not been for a little rogue of a Major, who ran away with her before she could get sight of me!-And I wonder what it is the ladies can see in them, to be so fond of them-unless it be a touch of the old serpent in them, that makes the little creatures be caught, like vipers, with a bit of red cloth.-Hah, isn't this the Captain coming?-'faith it is!-There is a probability. of succeeding about that fellow, that is mighty provokin! who the devil is he talking to? [Steps aside.

Enter CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE,

Capt. Abs. To what fine purpose have I been plotting a noble reward for all my schemes, upon my soul! a little gipsy!I did not think her so d—n'd absurd either.-'Sdeath, I never was in a worse humour in all my life!-I could cut my own throat, or any other person's, with the greatest pleasure in the world!

Sir L. O, 'faith! I'm in the luck of it. I never could have found him in a sweeter temper for my purpose to be sure I'm just come in the nick! now to enter into conversation with him, and so quarrel genteely.

[SIR LUCIUS goes up to ABSOLUTE.]-with regard to that matter, Captain, I must beg leave to differ in opinion with you.

Capt. Abs. Upon my word, then, you must be a very subtle disputant:—because, sir, I happened just then to be giving no opinion at all.

Sir L. That's no reason.-For, give me leave to tell you, a man may think an untruth, as well as speak one.

Capt. Abs. Very true, sir; but if a man never utters his thoughts, I should think they might stand a chance of escaping controversy.

Sir L. Then, sir, you differ in opinion with me, which amounts to the same thing.

Capt. Abs. Harkye, Sir Lucius, what you can drive at, unless you mean to quarrel with me, I cannot conceive!

Sir L. I humbly thank you, sir, for the quickness of your apprehension ; [Bowing.] you have named the very thing I would be at.

Capt. Abs. Very well, sir,—I shall certainly not balk your inclinations- -but I should be glad you would please to explain your motives.

Sir L. Pray, sir, be easy-the quarrel is a very pretty quarrel, as it stands-we should only spoil it, by trying to explain it. However, your memory is very short-or you could not have forgot an affront you passed on me within this week.-So, no more, but name your time and place.

Capt. Abs. Well, sir, since you are so bent on it, the sooner the better;-let it be this evening-here by the Spring Gardens. We shall scarcely be interrupted.

Sir L. 'Faith! that same interruption, in affairs of this nature, shows very great ill breeding.I don't know what's the reason, but in England, if a thing of this kind gets wind, people make such a pother, that a gentleman can never fight in peace and quietness.-However, if it's the same to you, Captain, I should take

it as a particular kindness, if you'd let us meet in King's Mead-fields, as a little business will call me there about six o'clock, and I may dispatch both matters at once.

Capt. Abs. 'Tis the same to me, exactly,-A little after six, then, we will discuss this matter more seriously.

Sir L. If you please, sir; there will be very pretty small-sword light, though it won't do for a long shot.So that matter's settled! and my mind's at ease. [Exit.

Enter FAULKLAND, meeting CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.

Capt. Abs. Well met.-I was going to look for you, -Oh, Faulkland! all the demons of spite and disappointment have conspired against me! I'm so vexed, that if I had not the prospect of a resource, in being knocked o'the head by and by, I should scarce have spirits to tell you the cause.

Faulk. What can you mean?- -Has Lydia changed her mind?—I should have thought her duty and inclination would now have pointed to the same object. Capt. Abs. Ay, just as the eyes do of a person who squints:- when her love-eye was fixed on me- -t'other -her eye of duty, was finely obliqued :—but when duty bid her point that the same way-off t'other turned on a swivel, and secured its retreat with a frown!

Faulk. But what's the resource you―

Capt. Abs. Oh, to wind up the whole, a good-natured Irishman here, has [Mimicking SIR LUCIUS.] begged leave to have the pleasure of cutting my throat-and I mean to indulge him-that's all.

Faulk. 'Prythee, be serious.

Capt. Abs. Tis fact, upon my soul.-Sir Lucius O'Trigger-you know him by sight-for some affront, which I am sure I never intended, has obliged me to meet him this evening at six o'clock,-'tis on that account I wished to see you-you must go with me.