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Squire. Let us cut short the matter. I am an extravagant young fellow that wants to borrow money; and you, as I take it, are a prudent old fellow who has got money to lend. I am such a fool as to give fifty per cent. rather than go without it, and you, I suppose, are rogue enough to take a hundred if you can get it. And now we understand one another, and may proceed to business without further ceremony.
Moses. Exceeding frank upon my word, Sir; I see you are not a man of compliments.
Squire. No, Sir.
Moses. Sir, I like you the better for it. How. ever, you are mistaken in one thing. I have no money to lend, but I believe I could procure you some from a friend : but then he's a d d unconscionable dog;-is he not, Mr. Merryman?
Merryman. Yes, but you can't help that.
Moses. And then he has not the money by him, but must sell stock at a great loss ;--must not he, Mr. Merryman?
Merryman. Yes, indeed, you know I always speak truth, and scorn to tell a lye.
Syuire. I know what confidence may be placed in your veracity, Dickey. - Well, Moses, I must pay the difference, I suppose. Why look ye, I know that money is not to be had without paying for it.
Moses. No-nor with it always. Well, what security do you propose to give ?
Squire. A posl-obit, on my recersion. Moses. How much do you want? Squire. A trifle!-only ten thousand pounds. Moses. A trifle! only ten thousand pounds !You have almost taken away my breath. Sure, you think you are talking to a Bank or EastIndia Director, or that we poor Jews can coin ourselves into guineas.
Squire. I care not how you come by them, so as they are ready to supply my wants.
Moses. Like enough :-but my friend must bave his terms.
Squire. Name them. Moses. Why, in the first place, life is un. certain,-a mere shadow ;-here to-day, gone tomorrow: Your life must be insured, and there is very little prospect, even if you were to live twenty years to come, of your stepping soon into your estate. Therefore any given sum, at twenty years simple interest, doubles itself, and the ten become twenty thousand.
Moses. But then at compound interest, (and every man can make that of his money where the interest is regularly paid,) it would be more than half as much again.
Squire. (Aside.) Unconscionable rogue! Haman's fate was too good for him!
Moses. Then there must be somewhat for risk, brokerage, &c.
Squire. Well, a truce to long-winded calculations! What is your full demand for ten thousand pounds?
Moses. I make no demand :--but it is worth, - let me see; -- interest, --compound,-risk,insurance and brokerage; - it is conscientiously worth twenty-five thousand, with common interest after fifteen years..
Squire. (Aside.) Come ;-- this is better than I expected :—Well, Moses, I must have the money, and shan't haggle.
Moses. Humph! must have the money!
But then, Sir, my friend expects that you will take part in goods.
Squire. Goods ! Does he take me for a rascally broker like yourself?
Moses. You are too hasty, Sir; every broker is not a rascal ;-my friend has not quite the ten thousand: but if you will take about fifteen hundred in goods
Squire. What sort of goods? Moses. Why, he has three puncheons of excellent coniac brandy.
Merryman. Take them.
Moses. Then there are some very useful things for gentlemen-two hogsheads of French playing-cards.
Squire. They will do for Charley.
Moses. And then there are some jewels—such as a diamond cross and rosary. .
Merryman. Good for fair, fat, and forty!
Squire. Blisters on your tongue for prophaning the idol of my soul!-Well, any thing else, Moses?
Moses. Only some trinkets to make up the fifteen hundred pounds.
Squire. Well, well, I must have the money this night;—therefore bring it if you have it not about you.
Moses. I told you that my friend must sell out stock, and it is now too late, but his credit is pretty good, and he will see what is to be done.
Squire. He must let me have the money tonight; the goods you may send in to-morrow. Bring the bond with the money, and I will execute.it. Lose no time.
Moses. I will be as expeditious as I can, but money transactions are not always to be hurried.--Gentlemen, your servant. [Aside, as he goes out.] Well; this is the Temple of Dissipation indeed!
[Exit. Squire. What a circumcised dog!
Merryman. What could you expect from a Jew! You have paid rather dear for the money, and I hope it will be a warning to you not to be such a fool as Charley was this morning. Don't part with any of it, to discharge musly old debts. Tradesmen, you know, are the most impertinent people in the world.