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What magical attracts and graces
That can redeem from scire facias !
From bonds and statutes can discharge,
And from contempt of court enlarge."

-His next brother, Frederick, had married a daughter of Eagle Frederic; but Mrs. Frederick Gildrig having afforded no signs of giving a heir presumptive to the seignory, the Squire was applied to by his frugal parents, who hinted that the tenantry would not only disincumber him, but would increase his income, if he would give them reason to expect a future lord in a lineal descendant. The Squire, seeing no other mode of extricating himself from his difficulties, not even by selling the duplicate of his honour, which he had pawned to its full value, acquiesced in putting his head into the marriage noose with the best grace possible; but he had still a methodistical kind of mental reservation, and intended only,

To swear, and after to recant

The solemn league and covenant.” The philosophy with which he quitted his old chronicle, Mrs. Fitzwaddle, was, however, supposed to have been occasioned by the hauteur of the lady herself. It is no new thing, reader, for a woman to teach a man philosophy, for Socrates, the wisest man among the Greek heathens, as we Christians charitably style them, and as they themselves, with equal charity, styled all other nations barbarians, declared that he owed the principal part of his philosophy to his wife. The reader most probably knows that when she had driven him out of door by her superior force of oratory, and he had taken his seat calmly on a bench before the door, she went up stairs, and emptied the jordan out of the window on his bald pate; upon which the philosopher only observed, that so much thunder must naturally be followed by a shower. Christina, queen of France, caused to be engraven on the brecch of her battering train, that is, her artillery, these words: Habet sua fulmina Juno," Juno has her thunder; and since Juno, there have been very few of her sex wlio have been without it. As lightning precedes thunder, so flashes of indignation from female eyes announce the forthcoming thunder of their tongues, and probably the assault and battery of their hands, which burst over the heads of their unfortunatcJupiters,

with all the uproar of Vulcan and his Cyclops forging thunderbolts in Mount Ætna. These domestic storms, which are now denominated curtain lectures, from their being practised by people who value their reputation, when they have retired from the eyes of all the rest of the world, teach a man philosophy, of which patience is a principal ingredient. It likewise arouses him from that lethargy which, if his days and nights were to flow on in an uninterrupted series of tranquillity, would soon make him forget the duties which he has to perform; and it makes him sensible of the sweets of repose, after a storm. The Squire, too, became a bit of a philosopher, and, by the same means as Socrates had mounted to that dignity. Whether the choler of his Xantippe, Mrs. Fitzwaddle, had been roused by the rumour of his intended marriage, or by some other act of infidelity, or source of lovers' wranglings, she once so far forgot the decorum of her sex, and the dignity of her lover, as to have the imprudence to throw the contents of a coffee cup, grcunds and all, into his face. Yes, reader, the Rising Sun was eclipsed by a cup of coffee! His love might have overlooked

the injury ; but his honour would not permit him to forget it. He recollected that if, instead of the coffee cup, she had happened to have bad the same implement in her hands with which Xantippe assailed Socrates, his honour would have sustained a mortal injury by being pelted, like Hudibras, with case shot of nauseous smell,

as

'T had been chew'd with teeth

Of some that had a stinking breath. Like HuJibras, therefore, he resolved to retreat from a contest whence no honour was to be gained, but his own was endangered. Mrs. Fitzwaddle now carried her grey hairs,--not into obscurity, but to an elegant villa, which was secured to her, with a very large annual pension, and the enjoyment of all the jewels which the Squire had presented to her. The Freelanders imagined that they should hear no more of her, and that she had retired to confess her sins, and repent them, as it was high time for ber to do. They were more generous than Horace, who insults Lydia, a similar character, for her former haughtiness, and tells her that she is now grown old and, in return for her former insolence, forsaken by all the young men ; they would willingly have forgotten both her and her frailties; but besides the lady and her confessor, the devil made a trio behind the curtain, and they composed together some additional scenes to the Farce of the Devil to Pay, for public representation, so soon as the stage could be prepared for the occasion.

VOL. II.

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