페이지 이미지
PDF
ePub

Mr. Doubleface. We have shewn that the accused was ill at the time of the birth of the child, and that she ate gruel, which is the food of lying-in women. -

One of the Inquisitors. Not exclusively so-I myself often eat gruel ; and it will be hard to make the world believe that I ever felt ladourpains.

Mr. Doubleface. Will not the caudle do then?

Inquisitors. Not for your purpose. — The tales of these witnesses appear to us so incredible, that we shall not call upon the accused for her defence, and we shall think it our duty to recommend a prosecution against you and Mrs. Doubleface.

Mrs. Doubleface. Can you think then that a married woman can do without her husband, or some one else, for so long a time ?

Inquisitors. We entertain so high an opi. nion of your sex, Madam, as to think it possible.

Mrs. Doubleface. The more fools you — but we shall find a protector against your malice,

Inquisitors. There is a lady who is in greater need of a protector against the mālice of her enemies.

Mrs. Doubleface. From this time forwards, I shall be more than ever convinced that

« Old women can do just as much as old men.

[Exit in a rage, followed by her husband. Inquisitors. Ha! ha! ha!.

[Scene closes.

CHAPTER XV.

THE SQUIRE JOURNEYS TO THE NORTH, TO CATCH

THE LITTLE BEAR BY THE TAIL.

Reader. Pray, what was the Squire doing?

Author. He, who is a satirist from inclination—to whose mind satire is a food, and who would rather expose than correct faults, is an enemy to mankind; but we are not of that class; — we probe only when necessary, and solely with a view to heal. We have, therefore, the pleasure to acquaint thee, that the Squire was amusing himself innocently enough.

Reader. In what manner ?

Author. In a journey to the North, to catch the LITTLE BEAR by the tail.

Reader. You jest, surely ?

Author. Not in the least—we expect to catch the Little Bear by the tail; but some, who pre

tend to be more in the secret than ourselves,
have said that it was only a Tom-Cat expedition
after a new favourite Grimalkin. Be that as it
may- the Squire set out — he condescendingly
hunted and feasted with the gentry, and gal-
lantly chatted and danced with their wives and
daughters. At one populous place, - “ The
Slave-Pool," he made a speech to the High-
Bailiff and commonalty in full assembly, in
which he observed, that it was the finest day he
had ever seen in his life ; (the Sun, to be sure,
shone very bright;) to which the Bailiff, in the
name of the rest, replied that it was indeed a
charming day. After these sensible speeches, they
went to feasting together—for there is no occasion
however trifling, which is not seized by common
councils, boards of aldermen, and overseers of
the poor, to feast upon it. It was remarked
by an arch wag, (one of the swinish multitude)
that the great men feasted together; but that
through their misconduct or extravagance—the
body of the people were compelled to fast to-
gether!

What a Grunter!
Another of these vulgar plebeians, who with

[ocr errors][ocr errors][ocr errors]

crowds of fools like himself, had come several miles across the country to take a peep at the Squire as he passed along the road, and who : was disappointed by the Squire's leaning back in his carriage, angrily observed, that he might as well have let them have a peep at’un, as they paid enough to see the show:

Reader. Was there no good resulting from this excursion-no traces left behind ?

Author. Those of the carriage wheels, I supopose.

Reader. I mean traces of benevolence to the necessitous ?

Author. There were some ostentatious public gifts ; but as for those secret acts of benevolence which flow from, and are the indications of a truly charitable heart — we are sorry to say that from Dan to Beersheba — all was barren !Some entertainers were proud of their guest, and received him with open arms and festivity; others, and one in particular, conducted him. self with that forced civility and constraint, which, in bigh life, is well known to imply, that the visit is unwelcome, and should be short ; but this hint is commonly returned by

« 이전계속 »